why are doll collectors so "creepy"

I get that some things can come off as creepy. in my house I refers to my bjds as my girl simply because they are mine and they are girls. On the other side there are men who refer to ther cars as their baby or people who name objects that don't have a sex sally(cameras, cars, etc.). I guess I don't see my girls as children but I can understand building an attachment to these dolls because you can easily customize them anyway you please. I also kinda feel that people outside of this hobby tend see people in this hobby as weird or odd when we just have different interest. And on the other hand I have met some people who talk about/to their doll like it's a real living person and that can be really creepy....even to me

 

This, so much. XD Maybe we're just looking in different places than the OP?

But without even trying, I've found folks on tumblr who talk about cuddling their Transformers toys, knitting them little scarves, and generally discussing them in exactly the same ways BJD collectors talk about their dolls. (And, for the record, I love it.)

I also think it's worth noting that a lot of the discussions on ethical/"proper" treatment of dolls stem at least partly from respect for the artists who sculpt and create these items in small numbers and not just for the physical objects. I've definitely seen the same kind of discussions crop up among hobbyists who collect other limited/OOAK art objects like animation art.

So...yeah, I'm with Rikka_Mika - in my experience with a variety of hobbies, I don't really see anything peculiar or atypical here. I'm a relative newcomer to the the BJD hobby and I honestly cannot say I stumbled across anything particularly jarring, at least on this forum.

 

I'd say a high level of attachment/emotional involvement with the dolls is what causes us to refer to our dolls that way. I don't think it's creepy... then again, even my closest friends think I am a creepy person for reasons that have nothing to do with my dolls, so...

 

I'm gonna point out the obvious that no-one has said yet.:

Just wait until you find a doll that you "Fall in love with"

If you new to the hobby you won't understand the phrase just yet. But the longer you stay here, the more likely it will happen and when that happens, well.....it's a just downward spiral Into "creepiness" As you put it.

 

I call my dolls by a gender as in "I like him in this color eyes" or "her joints are so annoying, they just wont stay put!" but I agree that a lot of things common in the BJD community are weird/creepy. Whenever I see someone talk about their doll as if it's alive "Vincent has been missing his boyfriend while he was away getting a faceup" or "Hanako is going to kill me when she sees this unflattering picture!" I'm not a fan and I find it immature/silly at best and very creepy at worst. There have been a lof of threads about "is your doll alive?" and a surprisingly large number say YES their doll has a soul, or is actually physically alive O_o...There is also an odd tendency for some people to take their dolls out in public with them everywhere, sometimes talking to them. I don't understand this. I like to cosplay but I do it at conventions or on halloween/costume parties, why would I go to the grocery store dressed like Commander Shepard or hang around the mall as Arwen? One of my least favorite things is "bonding" as in "oh I haven't bonded with her yet" or "I had to send him to a new home because I just couldn't bond with him." I know a lot of people mean this as "I didn't like the doll and want to sell it" (though some mean it literally as a baby bonds to it's mother)but why not just say that? Why does everything have to be made creepy?

I've been in the hobby since 2004 and I still find the same stuff creepy...

 

This well and truly made my day!

"Creepy" is so subjective. I'm sure there are people who think I'm creepy for collecting dolls when I'm in my early fifties. One of my neighbors seemed to think it was slightly creepy that I photograph my dolls and post the photos here. I've run across posts/forum members here that/who creeped me out.

So what? I'm not responsible for the freight of meaning other people attach to my dolls. Other forum members are not responsible for my own reactions. If somebody here really, truly creeps me out, I can add their name to my Ignore list, conveniently located under the User CP tab, and never have to fret about it again.

 

doll collectors are not creepy.
some creepy people collect dolls and other creepy people collect other things. some creepy people just stand around on street corners looking creepy (others probably do it indoors).
some people collect creepy things although they are not creepy themselves.
all of the above are enjoying themselves without bothering anyone else.
some people are trolls and like to try to diminish the enjoyment.

 

That's a good point... Some of this may make a lot more sense to the OP once she actually has a doll around to tinker with. They have a lot of personality right out of the box, so to speak, and just lend themselves to a degree of anthropomorphism that action figures typically don't.

For what it's worth though, OP, not all of us in the hobby do the "dolls as children"-thing. Even if we take part in the dolls-as-characters game to some extent, most of us have no illusions about their nature. They're just expensive toys and we know it.

That aside, as a fellow old-school tabletop gamer (I play Exalted, Qin and Ars Magica, rather than D&D-), I have to ask you.... Do you refer to your RPG characters as "It" when you're talking about them? In my experience, most gamers don't. They'll be "he" or "she" in conversation... For a lot of doll collectors, these dolls are also characters. They're resin avatars for game PCs or fiction characters, so just like for us tabletop players, it just seems natural to refer to them by name or gender.

 

I actually have seen action figure modding forums where people discuss the implications of altering limited run or vintage figures, so I don't think it's that different. Similarly, those forums are full of people saying "I sculpted his head from XYZ" or "Her body is from figure X and her head from figure Y", so I think the gendering is fairly common as well.

Of course I always argue that since action figures are dolls, it's not actually a separate hobby from doll collecting, but hey.

 

Some people are creepy. Some are not.
Some doll people are creepy. Some are not.

We have a unique hobby, and with it, comes certain peculiarities and conventions that may seem odd or, as OP put it, "creepy" to an outsider. Some peculiarities seem odd or "creepy" even to those in the hobby. But, this can be said about the human population in general - some people are creepier than others. It's just how it is.

 

Since dolls are human-shaped, I don't find it that much of a logical leap to refer to treat them in a personified sort of way. I mean, I also have friends who call their cars, computers, and drawing tablets names. (and not just the rude ones for malfunctioning)

I rarely call the dolls my family though. They're more of a crew. Or that cliche ragtag bunch of misfits because I don't grasp the concept of keeping them stylistically similar so they look weird with each other.

And it might just be a reflection of time spent with a doll. Like with posing quirks. One of my dolls rarely stands straight and always stands most solidly with a hip tilt. And for some reason my ex-boyfriend is better at making my girl dolls stand up than I am. ...and they have a weird way of falling over at the exact moment I remark that they are standing solid like a rock.

 

You don't have to be in a hobby to personify or anthropomorphize. I think it's actually kind of a natural human tendency (e.g. any religion with anthropomorphic deities). I know a few people who name their electronics. There's a running thing in my family where if you have a GPS - it should have a name that is also an acronym that relates to travel. Mine is named B.I.R.D. which stands for "Bossy Instant Routing Device." And yes... I do refer to looking up directions "asking B.I.R.D."

Question though....

When everyone here was a kid... Did you talk to your toys? Have an imaginary friend? Was your genderless teddy bear a boy or a girl? (I had a Littlefoot the Dinosaur who was a girl instead of a boy. )

All that stuff was OK when we were kids... and, IMO... I think a lot of us already ignore the "you're an adult, so you shouldn't play with toys," thing, so treating a doll similar to the way you did when you were a kid isn't that big of a leap. (So... I guess what I'm getting at is the gender pronouns, referring to your doll by name, etc. is (at least partly) habit.)

 

I think maybe every hobby has people that maybe some others may find "peculiar or strange" but I don't think it's centered around just the BJD hobby ^^ (For example back in the day with the beanie baby hype) Maybe some people are just much more passionate and engrossed in the hobby than others, and their deep caring for the dolls may appear strange to others? But just because they love their dolls and regard them with sentiment I don't believe is strange. I guess everything has a limit however.

 

I'll admit that when I first starting reading threads on here, I found it a bit startling, but not really "creepy". I think some of way people refer to their dolls is probably influenced by this or similar forums.

Another factor may be oxytocin release. Whenever people (especially women) look at cute things, the hormone oxytocin may be released and this could contribute to the "bond" that people feel between themselves and their doll. This is just an idea, but whenever I see a doll I really like, the feeling I get is similar to that of seeing a puppy, only not as strong. It's nothing like the feeling I get when I get a new video game or book (which I also collect).

This isn't really unique to the BJD hobby. I know of teddy bear collectors who refer to their bears in the same way. My Little Ponies could be another example.

Finally, there are far creepier things. I've heard women refer to their vibrators as their "husband" or "boyfriend". (Sorry if I inadvertently offended someone.)

 

It just happens. I got into this thing just because I like the way the bjds looked, now i'm petting and talking to them now and then. It will creep onto you eventually. Then you will be like the rest of us....one of those creepy people with those creepy dolls. =D

 

I have collected various types of dolls throughout most of my life (mostly fashion dolls). When I was little, they all had names though most were originally Barbies.

Later on when I moved into "collector" type fashion dolls, most were still named but that was more for identifying them more than anything.

When I got into BJD/Dollfie Dreams/Obitsus, the dolls were different. I began to do face-ups. You personalized them with eyes and wigs. They did take on a bit of a personality.

No, I don't think my dolls have a soul or are a living thing or even a replacement. I have a husband, a child, pets...all of the living loved ones. But I am more connected to my larger dolls (the only ones I collect now) than any I have ever had in the past. I do say those "creepy" things like "Miu is going to be spoiled this week and her sisters will be jealous.." It is more out of fun than anything else.

It is a creative, fun hobby. The dolls are like little models with attitude that don't talk back. lol You can take photos, show them off at meets and just have them on your desk so that when you look over - they make you smile and your day is better. I have never had a 12-16 inch fashion doll do that for me.

I don't think that is creepy. I have seen behaviors with dolls that I personally find to be creepy but that is a whole other subject and is none of my business, so I just click off that page.

Another thing for me that makes it easier to find a personality within my BJD type dolls is that I pattern most of mine off of my favorite anime or game characters. So when I look at my doll, I see and hear the character in my head. I guess that is part of it as well. For me anyway.

 

There are creepy people in every hobby, and what is creepy to one person is perfectly adorable to another. I have said in reference to a piece of fiction I really love with 100% seriousness that I found the cannibalism to be hopelessly romantic. I don't expect everyone to hold the same view.

I don't think of my dolls as my children and am firmly in the "They're just a really pretty piece of plastic I like dressing up" camp when it comes to how I feel about them, but even I refer to them by their names and gender and other characteristics I've assigned to them. I think it's fairly normal human behaviour. I mean, my car is just a car, but I know his personality and his name. Same thing with my computer.

I will say, however, that in my personal experience, that this particular hobby does seem to attract a higher number of people with limited/stunted social skills than other hobbies I have participated in, which not even in a malicious or intentional way I think often skews outside perception of what BJD hobbyists are all like.

 

I think it's a bit weird when people say that their dolls are angry with them and stuff like that... lolol

 

Not to worry. Seriously Sometimes people are a bit hair-triggered on some of these issues, is all.

I think you'd find that there are a *whole lot* (that's my code word for "I really don't have a clue") of us who've been around for several years who actually wondered the same sorts of things you did when they first started out in the hobby. My own major head-shaker was why on earth would you want to scarify or otherwise alter a perfectly lovely resin doll. After a bit, though, I came to understand that customizing the dolls is half the fun for many people, and that it's all ok.

As for the rest of it - the "how do we refer to things" - I find that much of it is a shorthand of a sort. Seriously, who wants to type out "my female resin doll didn't look good at all to me in the brand-new outfit that I bought her" when they can write "Trudy was really mad at me!" Or "my girl."

There is a strong component of plain old play in much of what you see going on. There is also a very strong bias out there in the world that adults should leave play behind, play is for kids, dolls are for little girls. I think personally that part of the reason doll collectors get so enthusiastic about the hobby is that play is a natural part of being alive (this has been studied by several branches of science and shown to be the case). Imaginative play is even better. (That part is just my opinion).

You've been active on roleplaying sites, so you've seen the same thing in action in a non-physical way. Can you picture me, for example, calling my newly-created old dwarf champion my fifth alternate character on X server on X game? If people are actually role playing as opposed to building "alts" to farm metals or some such, they are personifying a bunch 'o pixels.

Same thing only different with respect to the dolls.

It's all good, really. I understand your surprise and confusion. It's okay . Actually we have a whole lot of threads in the discussion areas - multiple generations of collectors' worth of the same questions, even - asking "is it okay to...." YES. It's okay.

AND it is perfectly okay to ask about it.