why are doll collectors so "creepy"

there is that factor, but as i like to point out, a doll is an object that has potential (if cared for and kept in good condition) to increase in monetary value over the years (in other words, it can be an investment) whereas cosplay is a money sink that can only pay off if you are a 'professional cosplay model' (which is very hard to be successful as) and photography can only make you money if you sell your photos/services and again that relies on them being successful.

this doesn't have a lot to do with creepiness, but since you brought up the subject, you might want to point that out to people who are 'grossed out' by the prices. obviously it doesn't apply to a lot of dolls but many dolls that can no longer be acquired from manufacturer, their second-hand buyout price will rise steadily over the years unless it was an unpopular cast to begin with.

IRL i am completely honest with 'non doll' people about how much they cost for this reason. anyway, sorry to be tangential.

 

From my own experience I have found that there are the creepy doll people, and the 'normal' doll people. I have found that some doll people lack common social skills, which makes it incredibly awkward to go to doll meets if they are going to be very loud and obnoxious, or talking to their dolls like they are real people. That bothers me a little and makes me not want to go to meets sometimes.

Sometimes I get creeped out when people take their dolls wayyyy too.. I dunno the word for it. For instance, once someone messaged me, insisting our dolls 'meet' at a meetup to go on a date.. and she kept suggesting it. Seriously? It's a doll. I'm not five years old playing pretend with my barbies.. THAT kind of thing is creepy. Collecting dolls to customize them is not. It's all about how the people act with them, I suppose. (If you like your dolls to go on dates, cool for you. Just not okay for me:P)

Just my two cents. :P

 

Yeah, the persecution complex is big in a lot of hobbies. People want to be "counter-culture" and counter-culture is usually met with some derision. Thus people will see negativity where it isn't because they feel like it makes them more edgy, or something - as if being hated validates them as a person, as if they want it. It's kind of tiring, especially when they're seeing things that aren't there.

Obviously there are people who do suffer discrimination at the hands of people who do not understand the hobby, but then it just circles back to being more careful with who you share your hobbies with or not caring what someone thinks.

Also, Leitan, you're rad - my room mate and I name our computers too. And my ipod! And various other electronic devices that allow you to name things! /fistbump

A lot of people spend tons of money on all kinds of wasteful things, though. Consider common things like cigarettes and alcohol. I have friends who smoke who routinely spend something like $200 to $300 a month on cigarettes. And guess what - once you spend that money and smoke those cigarettes, you have absolutely nothing to show for it (besides lung cancer - another expense, hurf durf). If one of those friends decided to give me flak about spending $800 on a doll, I'd happily point out that their $300 spent on cigarettes will leave them nothing, but at least my doll will have some resale value if I ever grow bored of him.

Alcohol, too, is incredibly expensive. A bottle of good vodka is like $30-40, and it can go pretty quickly. Scotch, wines, whiskey... walking into a liquor store can be pretty daunting. I drink very casually, but I can only imagine how quickly the money would add up if I drank with any real regularity. Again it's something you will have nothing to show for once it's gone (though I collect vodka bottles!).

The problem is that most people don't think. They hear how expensive something is and immediately fly into a frothing, judgmental wrath. But once you put things in perspective, most people calm down and chill out!

 

I love this. It is a great response.

There are people in this hobby that I don't understand. But they don't affect me or my enjoyment of the hobby.

 

absolutely, it may (or may not, we cannot say for sure) be especially prevalent in doll collecting but i know from personal experience that having persecution complexes exist independent of any persons' hobbies or interests...

i do agree, didn't want to invalidate anyone who has been bullied as a result of their hobby, but again- that goes for ANY personal information you share with someone. doll collectors might be 'easy' to pick on - i can't provide source but i read a study a while back where it was shown that people with a predisposition to bully others would deliberately seek out people who already had a "victim complex" or appeared insecure, weak, non-conformist, etc. in other words, if there's any grain of truth in this, it's that any person feeling persecuted/outcast as a result of this hobby might simply have the mental disposition to *be* a victim.

this is not an excuse for bullying - just some speculation about what causes it. personally, i prefer not to mention i collect dolls to people that i do not know (outside of the hobby i mean), and i only discuss dolls with people i do know when they a) ask about them or b) i have the dolls on display/with me/around me. example of this is my boyfriend because even though he doesn't collect them, we live in the same house and he will see my collection and ask me about it from time to time.
anyway, all that's my personal choice though.

completely agree, i used to drink a cup of coffee (as in from starbucks or dunkin) every single morning for about 2 years. that can be like $2-$6 depending on what kind of coffee you get. i kicked the habit because i KNEW how much it adds up to - remembering adding up all my bank statements even now is horrifying - so now i only drink coffee 1 or 2 times a week at most if i can help it at all.
(also, ironically, i have a mild caffeine intolerance, so i'd always get decaf... i just really like how coffee tastes)

pretty much, and the people who don't calm down are probably people you don't want to be around in the first place.

honestly i think the people this issue legitimately affects the most is under-18s living with their parents, even if they use their own savings and part time job money to buy their dolls they are often the people who get the most flak for it or get picked on by their relatives about it. once you become an adult and can distance yourself from that, why should you ever care what people think of you unless you are actually behaving in an antisocial manner? (by which i mean, being offensive or behaving badly around others in relation to this hobby)

oh, and thanks for the compliment! can i have that as a testimonial, lol? fistbumps all around~

 

I think the main reason why people refer to their bjd's in a manner similar to a child, is because so much effort, time and money has gone into buying, customising and maintaining the dolls that it almost feels like looking after a child.

It also seems more like a child because as you add or 'learn' more about your bjd's character/personality, it is similar in a way to the creation of a child's identity.

I think this is vastly different to say, an anime figurine collector, because those stationary models already come with a fully developed character, style and personality, and are also not able to be repositioned.

There is also the fact that your bjd is YOURS. A figurine is a product of another artist, and as such, even if you have a figurine, you are always aware that someone else created it.

A bjd however, is a product of your own creation, and as such is YOURS to take pride in, much like a parent does their child.

 

I think the reason why doll collectors are called 'creepy' is due to a lack of understanding on the part of the person who uses that term. I usually take it as a compliment.. of sorts, because 'creepy' can be translated as 'unique to the point I don't understand'.

In part, the reason for the choice of term is because BJDs are... mini-people. They are detailed and lifelike in ways that other types of dolls are not. That is usually the part that 'creeps' non-doll owners out. However, it is merely an opinion that can be swayed over time, once a person is used to the presence of a BJD.

 

To be honest... The most creepy think is to spend a lot of money for a doll instead of saving the money and buy yourself a car than talking to a doll or calling her "your girl". You could say this is kinda immature and silly. I do not think it is weird or creepy since everything in life is kinda creepy. For me it is also creepy to act like your dog is your real kid!? I do not see my doll as my child and i still know it is just a doll but i would act the same when i would talk about my favorite stuffed animal. For me, she is just a over-cute doll and yes, i could say that i'm kinda in love with her but still not something "real" ;p I mean... One of my friends gave her laptop a name!? ;D I find it kinda funny. I think it is just the child in us.

 

I'm definitely guilty of treating my dolls a little like children. But I think its to be expected. Some people just buy dolls because they like them and then leave it at that, they display them and just enjoy looking at them. Where as some of us put a lot of effort into making sure they look just right and even designing detailed back stories bringing them to life by having them in-body a character we have. When you put real time and effort into something your proud of its easy to change the way you refer to it. Just like I know a good few men who talk about there cars in such a way you might for a second wonder if there talking about there child.

 

I treat my dolls like children, but to me, that's just one of things I enjoy most about this hobby. Why not? I put so much time, money, effort, and love into these dolls that it's almost the same as having a pet haha. Of course the doll is not alive, but to me, the feelings I put into them is what makes them alive in a way. They are an aspect of myself and my imagination. Talking to them in an endearing manner is just a way to connect to them or the idea of them! It's my way of bonding with something so precious to me, regardless of whether it's living or not! Give it a try!

 

I think creepy is a strong word, honestly. I do think some of the things people in this hobby do are odd, but I wouldn't say creepy (except in extreme cases).

I don't refer to my dolls as my 'boys', usually, but I sometimes talk about them like they're alive. Like, if I'm shopping for an outfit with my boyfriend and he points at something, I'll say, "Oh, no, he wouldn't wear that." But that might be because my dolls are made after previously existing characters in a novel I'm working on, so they have a set personality. (Of course, even if I'd gotten the doll first, they could have a set personality!)

 

I see a lot of people who say they say things like "Oh, this would look good on her" or "He'll look cute in that wig", and while some are wondering if that's creepy, I say it isn't. That's just you wondering what will look good on the doll. There is a huge difference between "She'll look so pretty in this dress!" and "Mr. Doll, how was your day? Oh? Well, mine was great. Did you PM that cute Unoa you have a crush on?" - That's creepy. To me at least. :P

 

Haha I understand what you are on about. I have yet to own a doll yet but all my bjd friends treats their dolls as their daughter and sons. But really, I think it's sort of what comes with the hobby, you give them personalities and they sort of come alive.

 

I don't refer to my dolls as children (or at least not very often).
But they are given names, personalities and some people even have whole back stories for their dolls, even multiple stories for their whole doll collection.
So if I'm talking about my dolls then I'll either call them by their name or say "My boy" or "My girl".
Their my hobby and I love the hobby so there has to be some respect there. I guess I can word it like that.
No one acts super nonchalant about their hobby, so why should we? Lol.

It's more fun to make reference to your dolls as people. You've put so much work into them. C:

 

You are aware of the fact that you are very dismissive of the notion of 'people find dolls/dollpeople creepy', reading all kinds of things into the people thinking this and even go so far as accusing them of having a persecutioncomplex and 'wanting to be edgy because they need it as a validation for their person' in a thread titled 'why are dollpeople so creepy'...??

That's just... ugh. Without sense.


And the 'you're so sensitive!' stance seems to be gradually devolving in some sort of blanket-approach with no attached reasoning. I used to be able to sympathize with it quite often but the above is an example of why I am getting wary of it lately.
No, not everything that people experience is 'in their head'. Negativity does exist in this world. You (general you) having no experience with it doesn't automatically render that experience of other people non-existent.
That doesn't mean that each and every thing anyone ever thinks or feels is necessarily Supertrue, or even equal to every other thought out there, but there's a lot of thought and opinion possible in the vast area between either outright dismissal or the petting of snowflakes.


~

But a little more specifically on-topic: Yes I think people have an, overall, negative idea about dolls and doll-people. I definately think that there is a more-or-less general association between dolls and 'weirdness' or 'creepyness'. This doesn't mean ALL people think/feel this (and therefore a counterexample doesn't automatically render the idea void, just saying) and I also don't think it takes the form of severe things like 'persecution' or even bullying, but yes I do think that that basic association is there.

What Baakay said:

This has been bothering me for a long time as well. I've seen other people in hobby's (for example my father with his trains and birds) and the amount of guilttripping, insecurity, second-guessing and even judgement is something that I've never seen there.
It makes me think that there's just something about dolls that triggers something judgemental/apologist. I too have a hard time wrapping my head around it, but my take on it is that it has something to do with the 'status' of the hobby in society. The cultural embeddedness, or more specifically the lack of it.

Like heidiplay says:

I think this ties in with the above-mentioned notion of dolls having a 'low-status' in most of our societies (toys/plastic/for children/supposed to be cheap etc.), and thus becoming a low-status hobby.

All over the world humans have the strangest and most wonderful and colorful (or awful..) customs and practices, because they are embedded in a culture and a society, and therefore are accepted and valued and carried on through generations. But take away that embeddedness, pull the practices from their context, and the same customs can look strange and alien, weird.
Something becomes 'weird' rarely because it is 'weird in itself' (if there even exist such a thing) but because it is weird in the eyes of the people looking at it, ie society. Therefore, low societal/cultural acceptance = 'weird'.

Another way of putting it: Democratic blanket-toleration of things that 'don't harm others' is not the same as cultural embeddedness, or acceptance. Meaning that with the first there will be some friction.

But that's just my take on it.

 

For me it's the development of character and the effort you go into of making it happen; it's very like having children. You influence them but they still differ, and you spend so much money on dressing them alone that it's like putting them through college! Or if you prefer the DIY alternatives then your blood, sweat, and frustration tears go into making them everything you hoped they could be!

 

People find all kinds of things "creepy." I do rather wish they'd just not let it bother them so much--what other people do. It's not like it's hurting anything. And most doll-owners refer to their dolls that way, but are not truly thinking their dolls are real children and are having a break from reality.

I don't think of my dolls as children at all, but for lack of other easy terms, will sometimes say "my girl" or "my kids." I most often say "my dolls" but that is just so generic... And it seems a bit cold to refer to them as "it" rather than "he" or "she." But I definitely know they are just dolls and don't treat them as anything else.

But if someone wants to talk to their dolls and cuddle them, hey, that's their business and it's not hurting anyone and it's not any more creepy than MANY things people do.

I wish people would stop with the whole "dolls are creepy" and "doll-owners are creepy" business. If you feel that way, just keep it to yourself! TMI. This is a doll-forum, after all. Most all of us are doll-oweners and if people find that creepy here, they really should go and vent somewhere else...!!!

OR
post in the "Dolly Debate" section...

 

Yikes! Seriously?
DO you think these people who lack social skills are that way because they collect dolls? I doubt it. You're pinning a behavior on something unrelated. Social skills are learned over time, starting from very young and for MANY MANY reasons; nature and nurture, some people just don't develop the skills....it has nothing to do with what they collect.

I Personally Find this thread CREEPY!

"Creepy" is subjective when you're referring to anything, what may make the hair on the back of one's neck stand up may go entirely unnoticed by the next person. It's an issue of personal beliefs, tolerance and understanding; the later 2 being the missing component in the "creped out" person's world. Personally I find it offensive

Honestly I'm puzzled why anyone would be on this forum at all if they find doll collectors "creepy" just because they have strong attachments to their dolls? Would you not be more comfortable/less creped out collecting your own dolls privately without the support of the community? Aren't you just as "creepy" by association? Unless you're a resident of Stepford, Connecticut and/or have NO other hobbies beside bjd collecting I can't imagine you havent run into other non-doll collecting hobbyist who aren't just as passionate about the things they collect. Are they creepy too?

And for those of you who say "you'd never find an action figure collector talking to their action figures or personifying them"....I BEG TO DIFFER. Come on down to the next WarHammer Convention/Tournament, but make sure you wear your tennis shoes in the event you decide to call one of collectors/players "creepy" for they way they treat their figurines, I guarantee you'll have a fight on your hands.

And a short history lesson for anyone who's interested....The ancient history of dolls suggests that dolls were CREATED not as toys, but as vessels for souls (im not talking about voodoo dolls are anything goofy like that). When someone died the family was gifted with handmade doll and it was said that the spirit/soul of the deceased person could rest in this vessel until it was ready to pass on, most often it was in the instance of a child passing or in cases where the person who passed had a strong bond to another still living person like a spouse. When the parent of that child would pass away then the doll with the child's spirit would be placed in the tomb with the parent so their souls could remain together...same would be for the spouse. That way neither was alone on the journey to the afterlife. These dolls played an important roll in family life, and many ancient cultures still practice this today.
So think about that.....

 

i kinda see y ppl call them theyre babies i guess its a way to show affection for their dolls since they are a bit pricey =) but i sometimes do but i know theyre not real xD but since u have to be so careful with them i guess its wat kinda makes me say that theyre my babies

 

I don't think anyone is saying that collecting dolls causes someone to lack social skills, but if you look around the ABJD hobby, you will see that it does attract a lot of people who are lacking in the social interaction department, which leads to misunderstandings and can often be the cause of the "man, yalls are creepy!" reaction in people, even other doll collectors. Every hobby has its colourful characters and bad egss, but my personal experience has been that this hobby has a lot more people who don't understand social cues like indications where people are uninterested in or uncomfortable with a conversation and keep going on and on than other hobbies I have participated in. That is then made to seem even stranger because it's often done by an adult holding a large doll that triggers uncanny valley in a lot of people. My very cool, cosplays all the time roommate has taken years to be not be creeped out at the sight of my dolls, and he's still a little wary of them.