why are doll collectors so "creepy"

Creepy is supposed to be a bad thing?

I'm creepy just because I'm creepy. I always have been. Comes from growing up in the Addams Family.

 

Uhm.. How about you read what I said again. You are twisting my words around. I said 'Some doll people lack social skills' NOT 'People who collect dolls lack social skills'. That's just stupid. Some people who collect dolls DO lack social skills, just like people everywhere else.

What I am saying is that for instance.. If you go out in public and you are in a crowded area, if people are trying to move and you are in the way, you step aside to let them through. Or.. if you are in a fancy restaurant where the social 'rules' are to talk softly, you don't bring 20 people to your table and be yelling and rowdy.

I have been to meets where it made me feel very uncomfortable because the people who lacked social skills, or didn't understand social norms, were being extremely loud and obnoxious in a small cafe where regular customers were there trying to enjoy lunch. Some doll people were taking over extra seats with all their bags, staying in the way or people trying to move, and were being very loud and cussing. Strange looks were given our way. Stuff like that makes me not like going to meets sometimes. :P

Some people who collect dolls lack social skills. I hope you understand what I said better now? And, btw, I know all about how social skills are built. I am an infant teacher at a preschool.

 

Exactly. Thank you

 

I've never thought of doll collector's as creepy based on there assimilation to them. Sometimes I think doll collector's can live vicariously through their doll especially with cosplay. I've often referred to my dolls as "my girl", not because I don't have family or friends that I bond with but rather because I cherish my dolls. I've worked very hard to be able to afford them not to mention some were hard to find. I guess it's just different strokes for different folks. It's great to find varying points of view as this is what makes the hobby fun and interesting.

 

I quoted and commented on the post as it was written....
I think if you look around ANY community in and out of hobbyland you'll find people who are socially inept, but the two are not tantamount. Things lead to misunderstandings when people don't take the time to try to understand. Just blanketly (im coining this lol) calling someone creepy because their social skills are less than adequate to me makes the "creeep crier" the only CREEP in the equation. I can't imagine other hobbies not having just as many passionate and quirky. I can tell you that every hobby I'm involved in now and have ever been in the past has people like that. Someone lacking social skills doesn't necessarily mean they don't have a desire to be social, and if suddenly they find themselves surrounded by other people who they share a common interest then it's only natural that they are going to try to connect using that element.

All I'm saying is that it's crude behavior to label someone "creepy" because they choose to harmlessly enjoy a hobby differently than you. Quirky is not a contagion, and no one will catch anything from being in said person's presence. Enjoy the hobby the way you want to and afford them the same courtesy without them having to wear Hobby Nazi labels.

 

Tag
(oh wait...that might be creepy lol)

 

Yes. To which I responded to let you know that you misunderstood what I had said.

Lacking social skills does not make someone creepy. I think several things have been misunderstood or put together differently and misunderstood.

Doll collectors are not creepy.

Certain people can be creepy, and sometimes they happen to own dolls. Others play card games or play sports. Who knows.

What's creepy is being poked at several times by a collector who is asking you to ask your doll if she will go on a date with her doll because 'he wants to know'. That sort of thing is creepy to me.

Socially awkward isn't creepy. The two things are two different topics that I think have found their way into this debate, which has caused confusion and misunderstandings.

 

I think there are certainly things about doll collecting that make actions that might just be socially awkward in other scenarios become creepy. (Not that it is true in all instances - I don't think anyone here would suggest that. Though people seem to be concluding that and I see a lot of "you can't generalize us all!" Well, no one is, we know people are creepy all over the place, or not.) But when you introduce a to-scale basically anatomically correct little inanimate person into things, it just lends itself to situations being more uncomfortable than say, collecting baseball cards. People react differently to dolls.

 

Of course it's true that negativity exists (I doubt that anyone would question that), but that doesn't absolve people of ownership of their own reactions to negativity. And I think that's where much of the "you're so sensitive"-attitude comes from. There are a million different directions that a conversation that begins with "Wow, creepy" can take, and a fair bit of that is determined by the person's initial reaction - if one person's first reaction is to bristle and take offense while another's is to smile and make small talk, there are likely going to be vastly different interactions that follow.

Again, it's certainly true that there is a tendency among people in general to react to anything that they see as different as weird. But by the same token, the way someone reacts to that initial comment has huge bearing on the way the rest of that interaction plays out, and I certainly think it's fair to point that out.

 

I agree with everybody on the fact that it's basically a generalization. People bunch other groups into these "creepy" cliches. When it comes down to it, every group out there, doll collectors, RPGers, etc, have customs and ways of talking that other people who aren't part of the group won't understand are going to consider weird. That's just because they aren't informed. It doesn't mean that anybody is weird or creepy. I just means that the person looking from the outside in is uninitiated and is scared of what's not part of their norm.

 

I've had a doll for a year and a half, and I'm still extremely self-conscious about the hobby, even with my family, and they could care less. I would be lying if I said my first thought upon discovering BJDs wasn't "these dolls are beautiful, but the people who collect them are terrifying." I now know that there are plenty of wonderful "normal" people in the hobby (a.k.a. most of us are not socially inept, obsessive shut-ins who spend thousands of dollars to fill their houses with foster friends and children made of resin. Yay stereotypes), but the fact remains that there are a few of those, and they tend to, er, stick in peoples' minds. So I'm always afraid that I'll be put in the same group by someone who knows nothing about BJDs and BJD collectors other than what they've read on, say, Encyclopedia Dramatica.

Another part of what makes me so embarrassed is knowing that most people think dolls are for children.
So I think the overall perceived 'creepiness' of doll owners is based on a sort of sense of stunted maturity. It's the whole idea of attachment to and money spent on 'childish' objects, undeveloped social skills redirected to objects, and occasionally even misplaced sexual urges (since people often think of dolls as for or representing children, seeing them with provocative blushing and mods can be very, very unnerving). It gets especially hairy when people insist that their dolls are alive and cart them around everywhere they go.

So even as I settle happily into the hobby and make friends, I am shy as heck about it offline. I recently went to a little dollmeet in a public place with a friend, and was slightly mortified. I wouldn't go to one at all if there was any chance of bumping into someone I knew. I'm only taking my Pukipuki to college with me, and I'm even worried about that. And yes, some collectors still kind of scare me.

 

In my short time collecting dolls, I've not come across anyone who I would call creepy. Ive been lucky that the people I have spoken to have been friendly and very helpful.

I call my dolls him and her, and to me they are characters for a book I have in my head that I'm now putting onto paper, my doll choices tend to be based on if they fit with the character's I have created.

I've never been to a doll meet as yet so I can't comment on what these are like, however I never say never so I may go to one

I guess what Im trying to say is that from my point of view based on the people I have spoken to, I see doll collectors as imaginative and artistic people who like their hobby.

 

I've never thought of this as something 'creepy'. I've heard this a lot of times, and I always figured this was just how people jokingly said their doll has a lot of things. The BJD hobby has its own language/phrases. I'm sure other hobbies have their own terminology that we would find kind of weird and foreign.

The hobby's darker side does come up off-site, but then you also have to wonder how much of what people say is absolute honesty vs. trolls. There are people in every hobby/fandom that tend to take things too far. We all have our own individual threshold of what behaviors creep us out, or bother us - that's natural. But the good thing is that you don't have to interact with people who make you uncomfortable, or you find too disagreeable.

Not everyone has good social skills, but there isn't one hobby that somehow is a magnate for people like that. If we were to examine every hobby, you'd find that there are probably a decent number of people like that in every one - sure, some more than others, but they'd be there. Thinking that people who don't know how to properly socialize all wind up here is an over generalization.

 

the "he" or "she" is ok to me. the children part kind of creeps me as well lol. perhaps is the fact that i do have a flesh and bone child and i just can't put her on level with anything else. she is my girl, and the dolls or the doll i should say being that i only have one right now go by their names. it suits them much better. i love calling them by names, the plain "doll" word is kind of distant being that my characters are all endeared to me, i try not to call them children...it feels weird. my 9 yr old is already jealous of my doll, so just imagine LOL!!!

 

While I do think it's a little weird to think of dolls as children or pets (or human in general) I do refer to them as "my girls:", "my boys" because although they're not alive, they seem to be in a way, if that makes sense? Plus I do that to everything with a gender anyway (even my cats )

 

Honestly, there are some things that are a little creepy to me. But they're teeny things that are just personal preference. I really don't care how you treat your dolls, if it makes YOU happy, then do it! Who cares what the fsdgjkkdfj everyone else thinks =___=;;

As for the people who say it's creepy to give them names and genders and talk to them, whatever. I view people's dolls as tangible forms of their characters. Who DO have names, sexes, personalities... So when I get my boy, I know I'll talk to him-- besides, I talk to myself, my drawings when I'm working on them (NO your leg shouldn't bend like that!!).
I know I'll call him by his name and he won't be referred to as "it" but "he". He's got male parts anyway, it'd be odd to call him an it.. errrrhh. And if anyone finds that weird, heck, I don't care, people think I'm a weirdie anyway ;U;

 

I got alot of giggles out of reading through this thread. I skimmed through most of it though. You see alot of people drawing lines from "No I dont do that, there for I am not creep but everyone else is." to "I do that, just to creep people out, and if people dont get it then they shouldnt be here!"

I think the term "creepy" is too strong, and alot of people over looked the original question here. The OP was wondering why doll collectors treat their dolls as if they are real people not by refering to them as "he" or "she", but by going "<doll name here> really hates that dress she is wearing." Alot of doll collectors have stated that it is short hand. I suppose that works as an explaination... I have a simplier way of thinking of it.

WE ARE JUST PLAYING! Thats it. Nice and simple. And because we are adults and playing with dolls, it is seen as creepy. As adults we are expected to "grow up" and at a certain age put our toys away and act like adults. Adults as a sterotype dont play with dolls, they are supposed to do adult things.

Who ever decided that must have been a sad boring little person. Get up, dress, eat, work, come home, sit and stare at tv, pay bills, eat, go to sleep, repeat. Really? Do I want to do that? No.. Id rather still be an adult and play with my toys.

So it is really just playing. We used to do it as kids, and we choose to still do it. If its creepy, then so be it.. Id rather be creepy and enjoy my hobby. Thats the jist of it for me.

 

Must run in the family for me...My mom named her car Prime even sat with me for like twenty minutes as we pondered what to name 'him'. When I got my first doll she was supposed to be an 'angel' (those of you who've seen Angelic Layer will know what I mean and those of you who haven't go watch it.) and evolved into a character of her own from what I see when I photograph her. Yes even now I'm doing it. It's just a habit. I named my computer Tillman (after Jacob Tillman from Trauma Team) because it's a pain in the ass S.O.B. and swear at it...Often for shutting down in the middle of something I was doing.

I don't think it's weird I think it gives the hobby a bit of an innocent/endearing sense to it. My mom even thought it was awesome when I got my swap gifts from one last year and got a letter from the doll whose character had been partnered up with mine.

It's a roleplaying sort of thing in my mind but it's also just playing. We're collecting/photographing/playing with dolls I don't see anything wrong with it.

Now if you enter this hobby after seeing BBC's creepy reborn documentary then yeah I can see why you'd think (using you as a general) we're all a bit nutty but I think everyone see's this type of hobby differently.

Like I always say:

Only the insane are truly sane and those who believe they are sane are truly insane.

 

What a boring boring world this would be if we all looked alike and liked the same things. Creepy can be good just as it can be bad. I think it depends. I don't mind being called creepy just because I am a senior citizen with collections of bjds, action figures, feather fans, movie wardrobe, and any of a zillion other things. It is amazing how much stuff one can accrue in almost 60 years of collecting.

As long as no one ASSUMES a level of creepidness about me that isn't true (like peodphilia because my dolls are sort of anatomically correct) or thinks I am creepy in the serial killer-eat your victim way then creepy is almost a badge pf honor.

 

I'm not really sure how to describe what I want to say about this topic... I mean, I know they're not alive, but you (well- me, and some of us) grow attached to them like pets or kids. I know when Iris came home I loved him as much as I love my cat. XD But I know he's not alive. It's definitely not the same to me as action figures or character statues- I have small collections of both and I don't refer to them that way.

I don't know. You invest a lot into them. It's really hard not to love something you put so much heart and personality into and it's kind of a throwaway to me to just call them Its and to have them sit about the room the way my toys do.

Creepy... Eh. Whatever. I'm weird in the first place, I can handle being called creepy. If someone picked on me about it, I'd start talking to my boys right in front of them or trying to feed them my food just to freak the person out, lol!