1. Become a DoA Archivist!
    Volunteers Needed!
    Dismiss Notice
  2. The Mod team regrets to inform the community that Mirodoll is now banned from Den of Angels. Please view the following thread:
    Mirodoll Banned from DoA
    Dismiss Notice

Why does everyone need to accept?

Dec 15, 2005

    1. Just a question kind of related to things I read here constantly.
      This is from the other side. Lock if you may dear mods.

      Why do we want everyone to accept and appreciate our doll hobby?

      How would it feel if everyone in the world was walking around with a doll at once? Maybe to some people,the hobby it wouldn't be as fun.

      I for one, am SUPER glad everyone doesn't understand or "get-it". It's not my problem,and keeps the masses away from what I enjoy.

      The Masses tend to really ruin and smear good things into an unrecognizabe state. Bad cartoons pop up on TV and sharks get jumped.

      If people tend to dislike what I share with them, I just stop sharing it, it's that simple.
      Aside from out friends "In the hobby" .Why is other's acceptance so important? Would some people rather be known as "That doll person", or known for being a good , kind, and noble person in general?
    2. I don't think it's so much that we want everyone to 'accept' and 'love' this hobby... I've got no illusions of everyone jumping on the BJD wagon, nor would I want them too, but I would like not to be seen as a complete freak/wierdo by my friends/people around me. I think 'accepting' is more the acceptance that 'yes, I like funny looking, expensive, asian dolls and could you please not be rude/make fun of me for it?' I'm happy being known as 'that doll person', really, but I don't want that sort of title sneered or said mockingly. I do enjoy my hobby, so I don't want that enjoyment leached from me by people making me feel bad about it. I don't care if they don't 'understand' it, but I do care if they can't accept that I understand and like it.
      • x 1
    3. I agree with Loki. I don't care if anyone understands it, as long as they /respect/ it. I respect their hobbies and don't make rude comments to them about them so I expect that they treat me the same way.

      I wouldn't worry about BJDs becoming so popular that everyone on the street has one. It is cool when you run into someone that knows about them, but though their popularity is increasing, I doubt that those people are going to become the majority any time soon.
    4. Hm... I don't want everyone to get into the hobby. Being respected is enough, you know?
      I don't like when people are rude with me, I don't care if it is a matter of clothes, dolls or stuff... - I want to be respected. They don't need to love Chocolate, Mikael and Vanilla, check DOA everyday and save for money.
      If I am able to play with my dolls without hearing somone trying to hurt my feelings, I'm ok.
      I also think media and trends might ruin the hobby... and I don't want this.

      Respect, that's all.
      In this hobby and in any other hobby, people don't need to love it, just respect it.

      it is my opinion about it,
      sorry if I was rude..


    5. I believe it's more a matter of the kind of people here on DoA, which tend to gravitate towards the more sensitive type-- and for people like that, it's difficult to deal with the crass rudeness we tend to experience on a daily basis. A lot of people here are also young-- to the same effect.

      It's not easy to be different-- it's always going to bring negative attention to us, but for someone like me, at least, that's not enough to make me try to change who I am.

      Granted, I've had to learn a lot-- like how to laugh at jibes and teasing that would, years ago, have (and did) bring me to tears. And in the end, it's better to laugh and joke-- maybe they initially meant it to be mean, or maybe they were just joking.. but either way, if you laugh, they'll think better of you (and if they were just being mean and dislike you more.. do you really care what they think of you?)

      I don't want nor expect people to accept my hobbies with open arms.. it doesn't affect me one way or the other. But I do my best to surround myself with friends who, even if they don't agree, respect me enough to not make me feel bad about things I enjoy.

      So, in that I'm happy-- sure, your random joe may be cruel or insensitive, but I find it easier if I don't bother to worry about what those people think ^^
      • x 1
    6. Well there you go,I'm a very sensitive person too,and I love sharing here on DOA. I really don't care what people think either,I prefer them to know me for my sense of humor and bubbly charm.

      But don't you agree as well that there are people that feed off reaction in all sorts of ways?

      They say "Ohhhh look at that,what is that,that is stupid! That looking funny thing doll har har har it looks like it's going to fall over!".
      Then they see you get irritated and it makes them happy,they feel secure in knowing they've pissed you off and upset you.

      I mean, just don't feed the lions! You know what I mean.

      But some people seem to anyway. I guess we all want to be secure in things we love and like to do.

      Shouldn't be such a struggle for some, maybe that's what I wish?
    7. *laughs* It's not, and seeing as how you're never going to get it, that's a good thing.

      Agreed, the masses destroy things, in general.

      Especially with such a topic where a lot of people actually fear, or are repulsed by the objects in question.

      I'm glad everyone doesn't accept this stuff... if everyone all loved the same things, man life would be boring.
    8. How was I never going to get it?
    9. No, no, not you personally, I meant, "You" as in, the general "you=anyone" and "get it" as "get it= everyone loving BJDs"

      I just meant that no matter how much people want everyone to love bjds, it's not going to happen, and that's perfectly fine XD
    10. AHHHHHHHH! Ok, I get it! ( I need more coffee) :)
    11. I dunno... I've been teased since little and after a long time I already learned to ignore, still, I don't like when people do this stuff. I pretend I didn't hear, sometimes I even smile and say something, trying to be kind ('cause if I hurted their feelings too I'd be as mean as they are... and that's wrong... to me XD) but it doesn't change the fact I hate when people are rude ^^'
    12. My dear, you are in no way rude!
    13. The problem with being sensitive is that, for some, it takes a very, very long time to be able to deal with the pain that comes from teasing-- or ignore it. It took me /years/ upon years-- because, yes, their words would hurt and I couldn't help but react and feed their cruelty.

      But that's part of growing up and maturing-- you learn how to deal with it and how to not let it get to you. There's no way to teach someone how-- it has to be learned individually.

      Wee_Little_Faerie is right, too.. dolls are scary for most people (including me ^^;;;;;; ) and the wide, staring eyes of a BJD can be very, very scary. Especially when you have weird eyes.. People think Shoshou is my scariest doll because of his pupilless eyes XD; I think he's cute and adorable, but I can also understand where they are coming from (even if I don't necessarily agree)

      Truth is.. only one of my dolls scares me >_>; ChinSeung, because I think that if I make him mad he will murder me in my sleep T-T;;;
    14. If suddenly everyone around me gets into the same thing i'm into, i go off it. I like to be original and therefore i don't mind too much if people don't like BJDs, as long as they don't insult me/my doll (when i get it xD)
    15. People don't have to like us, they just have to respect that we have a legitimate hobby. When people don't respect or accept, abuse sets in.
    16. I wish this were generally accepted as just another hobby, which probably boils down to being a variant of the "respect" thing mentioned above.

      I mean, stamp collecting is accepted as perfectly normal -- nobody really sits around saying, "Oh, you just collect stamps because you have a secret, frustrated longing for travel" or whatever.

      But with dolls, people think they have some kind of secret insight into your character. A teenager must still be childish ... a senior must be in her second childhood (quite possibly the onset of senile dementia!) ... a middle-aged woman is either coping badly with her children growing up or compensating for not having children ... & any guy who likes dolls *must* be gay. Because EVERYBODY knows that gay guys like girly stuff (which is one of the more stupid stereotypes I've ever heard). Or if the guy demonstrably isn't gay, then he must be some pervert child-molester or something.

      Everybody say it with me, now: "ICKY-YUCKY!! Stop projecting your crap onto me!!!"

      I don't want everyone to own an ABJD ... I want this to be just another hobby -- not some alleged statement about my mental, emotional, moral, or spiritual health -- & of no more deep significance than my love of recreational reading, or going camping, or playing the Sims, or whatever.
      • x 1
    17. I was an anime freak back when DBZ, Pokemon, and Sailor Moon were the only anime anyone knew about, before it became 'cool'.

      I was a yaoi freak back before Gravitation and the flood of 13 year olds giggling about how 'kewl' it was.

      I personally see no reason to explain myself, my likes, my dislikes, my hobbys, and my favorite brand of toothpaste to everyone I meet. If they like it, great, if they don't they're missing out.

      Especially when there is REAL bigotry and prosecution and HELLO my country is still at war which we seem to have forgotten for a 'holiday tree' rumor... I guess I really don't see random people thinking BJDs are weird as that big a deal. When everything is peace and love and equal pay reguardless of gender and right wing conservatives laying down with left wing liberals, and then only hate left in the world is against BJDs, then maybe I'll pay it some attention.
    18. I don't want everyone to accept this hobby, I can care less who likes it or not. I'm not the whiny type of person who can't handle what reality throws at you. You like what you like, you dislike what you dislike, that's how life is, learn to deal with it.

    19. I agree with most all of the statements stated here. I think it is more of a wish for respect. I try to respect other people and other people's hobbies (I admit that I do sometimes fail. I am only human) but so many others do not, at all. I have stopped believign in the Golden Rule. In fact if I didn't have so many friends who cared abot me and so many people I know who are good and loving people I think I'd just become a hermit.

      As far as sensitivity goes I used to be a lot more sensitive than I am now. Growing up in South Carolina is a VERY conservative society, it is also a very hypocritical one. I had to learn at a very young age to deal with abuse from my peers. It gave me a rather jaundiced view of the world for a while, which is just recently starting to be lifted.
      There are so many people out there who will hurt you just to feel better about themselves, to assure whatever they need to assure to themselves inside. It is hard to deal with ridicule, and it hurts a lot of times.

      The young member's of DOA just need to learn to tell people to kiss their butts and to not be victims. Don't let them upset you, don't let them anger you because that is what they want. They want to suck your enjoyment and happiness, from dolls or otherwise, and take it into themselves. It's not right, it's not fair, but it's the world. You just have to look for the bright star in a bunch of blackness, and there you find your true friends.

      (By the way, the gay comment made me laugh so hard. I know a guy who has to be the very most masculine guy I know. He's big, and hairy and very, very stereotypical country guy, he's a truck driver c'mon! You would never, ever suspect that he lives with a male partner, but he does. Just goes to show.)
    20. Like so many have said, I just want some basic respect. I don't expect people to agree with or like my hobbies. But I'd prefer not to be called 'nuts' or a 'freak' 'cause of them.