Why is there such a bad reputation?

Jun 11, 2018

    1. First off I just want to state that I love DOA. I like the community here. Everyone has treated me kindly and always offered suggestions to help me when I am in doubt.

      But.

      Everywhere I go I see people being rude and negative about this community and it just makes me wonder, why? Why is there so much hate for DOA when everone here is so helpful and kind?
       
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    2. Many people don’t like all of the rules or the structure of the forum. I think some people also get ignored in a thread and take it too personally. There’s more reasons some people don’t like doa, but those seem to be the most common complaints I see.
       
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    3. People complain about how they tried to gain MP access then their posts were deleted so it lowered their count. Well...the whole point to the forum is to engage, not just gain mp access so..

      Too many rules, the mods are mean, I get ignored, people are snobs, toxic environment are all things I've heard but have never seen on DoA after being here 8+ years. The one thing I know though is that there are two sides to every story and not to be mean or call people out but everyone I've seen complain about doa has had some serious issues with foot in mouth moments or being overly opinionated.

      They also yes take things far too personally and call out the whole site for things that happened in one part of the site to them and them alone.

      Overall people do contribute to their experiences and no one I've seen has ever been truly 'honest' in their complaints.
       
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    4. Early on I was surprised to see how many people describe the doll hobby as "toxic" or "elitist" because I've had nothing but positive experiences here, but since then I've realized that most of the drama happens elsewhere specifically because DoA's strict rules keep that kind of negativity in check... Yes, it can be disappointing if you can't share a doll you love here for one reason or another, but besides that the only complaints I've seen seem to come from people who didn't follow the rules, faced consequences for not following the rules, and then became defensive and resentful about it.
       
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    5. If you post in the wrong forum, someone is going to shortly redirect you... if you just want to get marketplace, the post count and time will be 'not fair'... often times if you don't engage, it can be difficult to 'make friends'... I haven't actually made any connections/friendships here but I have had people I don't know invest their time and energy into helping answer questions/give advice/consider possibilities, which is more than I can say about most people I do know... I have been following a few doll makers on Instagram since before I joined DOA, and found out recently they are banned... and wonder if that has a lot to do with the reputation you are asking about... certain people saying who is and who isn't allowed to be here, who's work is or isn't allowed to be shown here... that can have an impact on the reputation of the site... but the rules are in place for a reason.
       
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    6. Honestly, I don't get it, either. I've been here for 4 years, and people have been nothing but friendly and helpful. The rules complaint makes no sense to me; the forum would be sheer chaos without them.

      I also heavily agree with @AnnoDomini, too.
       
      #6 Selenae, Jun 12, 2018
      Last edited: Jun 12, 2018
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    7. I admit, I've criticized DOA on other sites because (even in my very limited time on the website so far) I've seen the mods make some decisions that don't seem to make any sense. I've also heard horror stories of the banhammer being used a little to liberally. No website is perfect, DOA is bound to have its little blunders here and there.

      But I think people mostly get upset because it has standards in one sense or another. Whether it's the initial wait to entry or the marketplace access hurdles or the rules about doll inclusion (this one got me really irrationally angry- I couldn't believe my sweet DC Carol wasn't on-topic!) there are a lot of little things to get sort of annoyed with in the way in. I also think some DOA members (a small minority) are sort of dickish with "well, if you don't have a DOA you might as well not be in the hobby!" remarks.

      It all builds into this website being sort of initially intimidating for newbies. As someone who is relatively new myself, I can attest to that.
       
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    8. Echoing what others have already said.

      The thing about the rules just boggles my mind though. I joined a good number of years back and posted infrequently but i barely notice "rules". It's common sense stuff, things people should already know not to do.
      But i've seen the same kinds of comments directed at confession blogs, Facebook, deviantART mods, etc. It's just the nature of people.
       
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    9. Yeah. I think I got pulled up a couple of times when new, but aside from that the rules are pretty simple and are “don’t post recasts, don’t be a jerk”. Even if you post in the wrong place, the mods are nice and just move it or remind you of the rules. If you shatter emotionally at having a post moved... well, that’s a concern.
       
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    10. I'm in the hobby for a year now, and DOA has been an enormous help with all the database it has, is a wonderful research place. People also are nothing but nice and helpful to me.
      I feel sad that some can't enjoy the good things and focus on the bad.
      Oh well... :doh
       
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    11. Meh, it’s simple to just use the forum. Stay away from recasts, don’t engage bad behavior, etc... There is no Trade Association yet for BJDs, so the role of doll police and politics between companies and sometimes artists falls on the collector community. That’s not really fair but someone needs to draw a line. As far as I know, the mods are all volunteers, so they do their best to keep things in order. There really isn’t anyone that’s an all-knowing doll expert, but everyone knows something.

      I don’t use tumblr, so that is probably why I have seen such little drama personally. The worst thing that ever happened to me involving the hobby was being scammed several years ago but DoA didn’t play a role at all.
       
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    12. Because they are uncivilized, brainless, spoiled brats.

      Like, for example the person who complained about being banned for having a second account.
      First of all: if she had read the rules, she would have known that you can't open a second account.
      Second: every forum that has a MP doesn't allow you to open a second account. So, it's really nothing new.

      Or all those people who can't bring themself to post -less than 1 time per day- in order to reach 40 posts in 2 months.

      I'm glad the "stricly" rules of DoA are keepinh this kind of people away. I'm not a person who generslly follows the rules, but I think some rules are needed, or it will be a chaos.
       
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    13. There might also be a nostalgia element to it. If someone's been in the hobby for a long time, they may look at DoA from "back then" and consider it better for one reason or another.

      Me, I like the strictness of the forums. My time at a forum for other kinds of dolls had moderators who thrived on drama, favoritism and other things that drained the fun of going.
       
    14. Don't forget the people who got banned for not following the rules or shady Marketplace practices and are, of course, blaming their own poor behaviour on DoA ...
       
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    15. I do feel that it is tougher to make connections and friendships on here but still everyone I've encountered on the forums has been helpful and polite, mods included. But that's just my personal experience. Usually I see someone who has a problem with the way DoA is managed or doesn't agree with the rules and then they make a ruckus over it on other sites. And their complaints can scare the newbies who come across them. It's a shame because this place can be a great resource for them in this hobby.
       
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    16. I have been on DoA for eleven years. Some people feel that because you own certain "rare" dolls you are an elitist but that's true in any hobby really. A few people started badmouthing DoA on social media and it kind of snowballed, newcomers thinking that this was a fact, whereas it's a pretty welcoming community. Some don't like the fact that DoA will ban some dolls they deem copies of other dolls, but honestly as we see the hobby being slowly destroyed by recasters I aplaud them for taking the stand even it's probably going to be a loosing battle.

      I actually prefer a tightly run forum like this one, I really think that's one of the reasons it's still around, it stays on point instead of going all over the place like some Facebook ones. Being a moderator on DoA must be a thankless task, but without them we wouldn't have a reasonably safe marketplace and structured forum. I try to stick to the principle that if I don't have anything nice to say I abstain from commenting, civil conversation is always a lot more interesting to me, I think we could all use a little bit more civility nowadays.
       
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    17. I'm honestly not trying to be flippant here, @Daiyanissa , but I can't help wondering . . . if "everywhere" you go online you see people smearing DoA untruthfully, could it be time to rethink where you go? Do you really want to spend your time among people who spread lies and stir up drama? :sweat
       
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    18. Honestly? I think a lot of it is that DoA isn’t social media. The rules are strict to keep things on topic, and a lot of people have trouble with that. I feel like if you’re using the site as intended, you’ll be fine.
       
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    19. In agreement with everyone else, the rules are reasonable and make this forum safer and secure.

      I tend to poke my head into different threads despite not actively participating in them, and I have seen some conversations end up with people going, "well that does it for me, I don't need this forum if it's going to be like this. Bye DOA". And those comments are pretty saddening to me because it's often the result of that person getting too defensive when it was unnecessary. If something in a conversation upsets you, it's generally a good idea to walk away for a bit so you can return later with a clear head, so that you don't misinterpret things or say something hurtful when you otherwise wouldn't.

      Just to clarify, I am not one of those people who thinks everyone is too sensitive nowadays and needs to 'get over it'. I think, especially over the internet, miscommunication is often at the heart of these kinds of situations. It's important to maintain awareness of that, if not also a basic trust that others on the forum are not actively trying to hurt each other. I don't think people on this forum are so unreasonable that they will shut you down if you politely communicate that their words came across in a manner that made you upset or uncomfortable.
       
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    20. Before I applied for an account, I read up on the community. Reading all the criticism certainly gave me pause, but in the end it all seemed to boil down to people not being happy with DoA rules about dolls and post content. Since neither of those things bothered me, and since DoA is a great source of information for BJD hobbyists, I decided I wanted an account. People who love drama will bring drama. If you enjoy DoA, there's no need to worry about what other people are saying :)
       
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