Why the "Animosity" From (Some) Non-Doll People? (Revised opening post)

We are also living in a culture of fear and distrust. The media in general go all out to perpetuate this (it gets ratings), blowing up a story of "someone left a backpack" to SUSPICIOUS POSSIBLE TERRORIST BOMB OMG !!!1111!!!!!! And "here is someone with an interesting hobby" to OH WOW LOOKIT HOW MUCH MONEY THAT FREAK SPENDS ON ANATOMICALLY CORRECT DOLLS MUST BE A PEDO!!!111!!!!

 

So, why do you think the main reason people get so annoyed with BJD hobbyists?

A lot of people who look at me strangely for being in this hobby believe I'm either too old to be playing with dolls or shouldn't be spending so much money on something like a doll. So yea, the animosity comes from either money or maturity.

Also, if you're one of those people who have had people eventually accept your hobby, how long did it take, and in your opinion, what made them come to terms with it?

My mom was the first person to come to mind for this question. At first she couldn't believe how I was going on about something that cost hundreds of dollars. Truly, she still can't see it but she's grown a little more understanding about it [probably because it's mostly my money I use nowadays for the dolls, haha]. After being around them for so long [I've been in this hobby for three years now], she can finally see the beauty in them. Granted she's used to the dolls that were around when she was growing up, but she doesn't go cold when I tell her anything concerning the dolls, whether it be about photographing them, buying more, or going to meet up with friends for a doll meet.

 

You know, that's a really good point.

I actually remember, back when I was collecting fashion dolls, a friend of mine brought one of her dolls -- I forget what it was, but it was an artist doll in the same general Gene/Tyler scale from the late 90s -- to Paris with her for the fashion doll convention there in 2000. She was taking pictures of her doll in various places around the city while we were all there, and they were fun and cute like your average fashion magazine model pictures. At one point, a policeman stopped her for 'leaving a suspicious parcel in park' even though she was standing only 10 feet away obviously taking a picture of what was, well, obviously a doll. She explained as best as she could (since I don't believe she spoke French), and there was no real trouble about it and they laughed it off together, but people really can get the wrong idea very quickly and in very unexpected ways. And this was even before 9/11. I recall her telling us about this over breakfast the next day and having my mind utterly blown. It's very sad to think about, but a problem like this is potentially even more likely now.

 

Hm, my hypothesis is that truly negative reactions from some people don't necessarily have to do with the fact that they're non-doll people. Rather, I think it has more to do with the fact that they're likely non-hobbyists and/or non-collectors. My family and friends are all collectors, hobbyists, and/or gamers of one type or another. Not only are they accepting of my new hobby among my many hobbies, some are even happy that this hobby is allowing me to share other hobbies with them (my mother, for example, loves to sew, and she was so excited when I told her I would like to spend time with her sewing clothes for my dolls). To further illustrate my hypothesis, a friend I recently reconnected with, an extroverted man who loves sports, especially football and baseball, just looked at me and laughed like I was crazy for even asking if he had something against dolls or the fact that I collected dolls. Even after hearing the cost of my dolls, he still couldn't understand why I would have thought he'd react negatively to them if I brought them over when watching Packer games with him. In fact, he thought the idea that people could hate and even fear dolls was rather ridiculous. Unusual for such a person? Such a thing would only seem unusual until one enters his home and realizes it's a shrine to the Green Bay Packers and the Anaheim Angels (I'm not putting LA in there; I still think that was such a silly thing!). He's spent a lot of money on his sports collection and other hobbies, such as magic, so his view on my hobby is that it's a hobby like any other, and he expects it to cost money.

Those who don't collect things or engage in hobbies have no real concept of why someone would spend so much money on an item that either doesn't aid towards survival and/or act as a visible symbol of their economic status. On the matter of survival, I've noticed this growing trend where people in the upper economic brackets seem to feel that poor people, like myself (I can be described as a struggling university student), should be spending their money on things that only contribute to their survival. More, poor people shouldn't enjoy having nice things like people with money do. For example, I recall my husband describing a forum post on our city's newspaper website. This person was really angry that low-income families should enjoy eating things like lobster and steak. They should be eating nothing but ground beef. My husband had to reply with, "Why shouldn't low-income families enjoy lobster and steak? If they're smart enough to catch the good sales in which a pount of lobster tails or a pound of steak is roughly the same as buying a pound of ground beef, then they have every right to enjoy the nicer meat." Why shouldn't low-income people, like myself, be allowed to save up for a really pretty dolly that gives them joy in a high-stress environment? But, there are some people who simply don't see things that way. Apparently, they seem to feel that people shouldn't be allowed to be happy until they've obtained the economic status that allows them to more easily obtain the nice things that make people happy.

On the matter of status symbols, people understand buying things such as expensive gold and jewelry, high-maintennance sports cars, houses too big for just one person, etc., because it's an understandable, visible symbol of one's status. For some reason, that's really important in society, so people are expected to spend their extra cash on such things. To them, a doll is a waste because it isn't any of the things they would spend their money on. Why buy a doll when one can buy that expensive car? Why buy a doll when one can buy that expensive watch? Why buy a doll when one can spend money on that expensive gadget that everyone recognizes as expensive? For them, the doll serves no real purpose.

I think it's this that causes people to react negatively to dolls.

 

I disagree. Granted, my view is limited by the fact that I go to an inner-city public school that has people wearing anything from Apple Bottoms to North Faces to the occasional burqas, so I ‘m really not susceptible to the brand pressure. However, BJDs are not a fashion accessory-- they are a hobby. Are barbies the "fashionable" things to carry around because they are a recognizable brand? While I agree that people walking around with expensive uggs and smartphones makes it more acceptable to spend more money on those items, the typical iPad carrying teen has no appreciation for a doll that doesn't "do" anything. They don't see the mastery of a BJD artist as something of interest, therefore the dolls having little value in their eyes.

I think that today's youth culture, which is both fueled by and fuels some of the commercialism you talk about, generally discourages the idea of traditional hobbies in general. The idea of patiently saving money and spending it on a hobby is lost to the instant gratification of iPod apps and online shopping, and our appetite only grows for the ADD-fueling pastimes of youtube, facebook, and video games. The model-plane builder of yesterday might be the Call of Duty player of today. Also, why do we love apple products? Portable diversions. Most hobbies lack this convenience.

Where does this leave BJDs?
If you look at the hobby as art-doll collection, it's clearly an oddball activity. Now more than ever, doll-collecting is considered by the general public as a pastime for older people. Collecting cheap, quirky things such as bottle caps is perfectly acceptable for younger generations, but who sees a high school student building up their art collection? The idea of luxury items that don't serve the purpose of clothing, communication, or diversion lack the illusion of being a necessity. People fail to see dolls as a part of a more creative hobby like sewing or photography.

When people do see it as part of an artistic/crafty lifestyle, it still appears odd to some. Art supplies are expensive, cameras are expensive, and BJDs seem an unnecessary accessory. Again, not “doing” anything.

*Sorry for the long tangent aaaggghh I hope it makes sense somewhat*

SO BASICALLY, I think the BJD hobby is prone to rejection not because of brand obscurity, but lack of cohesiveness with today’s culture that is increasingly based on instant gratification.

 

I this this - that it's not about the dolls as much as it's about collecting in general - is a very important distinction. To a someone with an ultra-minimalist style a any collection of more than a couple of pieces is clutter; To someone with an ultra-frugal lifestyle any non-necessity that costs more than $20 is questionable. That it's a doll as opposed to an Inuit stone carving or a model car isn't really the issue when that's the source of the comment.

 

I have read those too, and I do say that they are absolutely amazingly uplifting.

Also in those posts however, there's usually some sort of disclaimer in the first post along the lines of "We've heard the horror stories, what about some positive experiences?"

-shrugs- It takes all types to run a world. We get extremely positive reactions, extremely negative reactions, extremely indifferent recations or some variation thereof. I think that's just human nature, right there.

 

They don't understand. The good ones will try to and eventually accept that it makes you happy. The closed minded...well why worry about them?

 

Its probably because they can't see themselves spending money on something that does not interest them.

 

I've never gotten animosity, really. I think the most "negative" reactions I've gotten were "Oh, those are weird/creepy". A lot of people don't say anything, and a lot of people think the dolls are cool.

I don't even find the "weird/creepy" sentiment negative in particular. It's easy enough for me to understand. I'm sure my dolls are in the uncanny valley for some people, and I used to think BJDs were pretty weird myself. I think the only reason most of us don't see them that way is that we're accustomed to looking at them.

Also really the majority of people who see my dolls are people who come to my home. My dolls are kept in a pretty visible area (I live in a small apartment and there's not really anywhere else to put them) so if you're at my place you see the dolls. It's possible that people are too polite to make negative comments about the dolls when they're a guest in my home, and if so I'm glad my friends and acquaintances are so tactful. And really, if people do have negative opinions, I don't think that says anything about them except that they don't like my dolls.

 

well this is a topic that im used to.

My family really dislikes my doll. They give me a multitude of reasons, because her eyes are to big and make her look freaky, she costs to much ect.
But for them personally there is a very specific reason. My mother hates anime, I got into it as my grades started to drop back in middle school. Ever since anything of asian culture has been shunned by her. My doll inclueded because she does so resemble the anime like characters I enjoy to read and watch about.

but it also does come down to many things. And there was one quote I got from my mother that fascinated me. When I had a friends doll over for a bit it was the first time we had a boy doll in the house.
My mother hated it.
I walked through the house carring the doll in my arm one day, taking him upstairs to my room. And the way I hold dolls is really to have them sitting on my arm or almost carddled. This I do for a few reasons, its easy to hold them as sometimes their heavy, and in a way i do seem them as small people. I dont believe they have a soul or anything, but when I see them somethin gin me tells them to treat them with respect. I think we act this way with dolls because they do resemble people, we see this in young girls often. Anyways so I craddle dhim a bit and my mother said
"Thats sick... your craddling a doll of a little boy."
while I was 1, offended and 2, apalled. It did make me register something

I do treat my doll in a way like shes a person. I carry her around affectionatly, I dress her in nice clothing, find myself feeling bad if I dont give her enough attention ect. And I think that scares people.

Its by no means the only reason people dont like dolls or doll owners, but it is one reason.
They dont understand it, they dont understand how we can at times treat the doll like a little person.

and it can be especially odd if were doing it to dolls who represent younger characters, like my girl looks more adult than the male doll I had over for a while.

In the end I do think it boils down to understanding, and how to some its odd that you can form an attachment to an inanimate object.

thats one reason Ive spotted at least.

 

I haven't ever really dealt with anything too negative. Some of my friends and my fiance think my doll is creepy. I think for them a lot is they don't have interest in the hobby themselves and just can't see spending that much money. But like a lot have already said different people have different hobbies. When I was first researching buying my first doll my fiance was giving me crap about spending that much at a doll. To which i pointed out that he had spent a couple hundred dollars on comic (he is a comic collector of course) and really has no grounds for saying anything. He has not said anything since. XD

But they still find my little girl creepy! My brother and his wife were staying in our spare bedroom (which is my sewing room where my doll spends most of her time) and his wife asked me to put her away since my little Aoki was creeping her out. I see them as art, something to collect and work on. People save their drawings and save their paintings.

 

I agree with many that have said 'money' and 'because they don't understand.' I was talking about it with a friend, and mentioned my roommate's next doll is going to be about $700. She FLIPPED. She practically shrieked 'It's just a STUPID DOLL!' She didn't know anything about them, so it frustrated her for someone to be spending that much money on it, even when the money was 'extra income'.

But when I think about it, I can't understand spending hundreds on framed photographs by vaguely known people. Or paintings. Or jewelry. Or electronics that are kind of useless. Or a JACKET. Or even a wedding dress. So when people do it, I feel frustrated too. Can't they see that's a waste of money?

So I just have to step back and realize no, it's not. I just don't understand the draw. That's what they're into. This is what I'm into. Some people just can't actually realize this fact and move on.

 

Doll owners have the freedom to change their doll into any look they want them to be in. People are used to society looking or acting a certain way and I think the idea that a doll owner could just usurp all of that order bugs them. Seeing dolls for the first time even for myself was a head trip.. It didnt offend me at all I fell in love with them immediately I actually became stressed out and upset because I wanted one.. but knew I could only get ONE.. and had to settle on, THE ONE. Knowing that.. in all likelihood because of their cost I'd want it to be my only doll for a long time. And that was a big deal for me to get over. I ended up settling on the CP Soony (LUTS) she has larger eyes than some other dolls and a much more round face.. a lot of dolls I see are very pointy. Anyway.. So ya I settled on that one.

I just think most other people are not mentally prepared or capable to understand that a doll is out-of-time. A Barbie is in-time which is a big difference.

As far as I know porcelain dolls are not considered that weird. But those have a particular aesthetic that people are used to. I think its the very idea of a fully customizeable doll particular to BJDs that wig people out. That's really what sets them apart. Also, the resin is very scifi to them and its an initial shock how photogenic they are.

and it has nothing to do with money.

 

1. Chibihaku's response struck me. There is a lot of mentality about 'growing up' meaning to abandon the things you love. I often feel very negative connotation to things that are creative and don't 'add' to society directly the way that say a doctor's contribution does.
I sometimes feel that way about my career since I design video games for a living. I make entertainment and my work is often seen as 'goofing off'. Luckily I don't get flack for it but I do get a lot of reactions like: That's so cool, must be fun playing games all day.
Well I don't play games all day, I make them and it's work, hard work and very draining and I'm surprised that ANYONE WOULD WANT THIS JOB! (lol...there are fun parts though.)

2. Also echoing those who treat the dolls like they're alive puts people off. This is different though than treating them with care (i.e. carrying them like a child is actually probably the best way to carry them due to size and shape).

3. How I usually explain things to a non-doll person is that they are 'Collector Dolls'. This at least puts them in a frame of mind that it's a collecting thing, thus my interest in spending lots of money on it. (Like those crazy people who collect comic action figures in mint condition! ;D) In this light they can at least understand that I'm a collector.

 

One of my daughter's cousins is forever asking her if it's time she grew up and she just answers no.

She's had sarcastic males in stores ask her if the doll was her child and she looks at them and says "I rather tink not, it's a doll, perhaps you should check your glasses."

 

I am really glad no one has asked me this. I would probably concoct a lurid tale about a sordid affair with a mannequin on the fly while covering the dolls' ears, then insist, "BUT SHE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW!" -- but then, I'm... peculiar. *cough*

 

Oh dear God.... don't GIVE her any ideas! hahahahahahaha!

 

i actually brought my doll to school to show my art teacher (don't worry, he went right back into the cold dark car after class ) and all my classmates were like, "what the hell." one guy asked if Astro was a voodoo doll, and if he could stab it. i think it may just be that they're retarded freshmen, but they sure don't get the whole "this is art" concept.

 

I get this a lot with my other toy and figure collections. People don't seem to understand that collecting art comes in many forms, and I view small plastic figures (and indeed much larger BJDs) as art. My friends and family always ask me why I spend so much money on them. I think they appreciate the way some of them look, but none of them would spend the money themselves.