Why the "Animosity" From (Some) Non-Doll People? (Revised opening post)

I think it's the "creepiness" factor, the cost, and how dolls are perceived to be as something only children or old grandmothers play with. Prior to collecting BJDs, I had expressed interest in collecting dolls to some relatives. I'm not entirely sure if it's a cultural thing, but my relatives would tell me about cursed dolls, dolls that steal souls, dolls that move around at night, dolls that grow out their hair and choke their owners, vengeful dolls that would curse you if you kept them in storage for too long... Lots of superstitious stories about how dolls were creepy and undesirable, unless you had a death wish. XD

 

I really dont think they understand it because its not the "norm" thing to do in society. Sadly though my mom and her friend understood the hobby because there are doll collecters but they didnt understand Doll Meets they thought they where stupid and freaky which bugged me.

 

People just don't understand why we put so much money into our dolls (since it's more socially acceptable to spend hundreds of dollars in alcohol and get wasted/throw up all over ourselves/defecate in our pants with random strangers we would never speak to while sober). Also because people simply don't understand the appeal of dolls. Luckily my fiance collects expensive resin kits so I've never had to deal with that at least with him.
I often have to deal with this with my other passion of keeping exotic animals. I often get the attitude of "We can't have/we don't want to have/we don't know how to take care of them so you can't/shouldn't want/have them either" Well okay so I'm kind of used to it but it doesn't mean I have to like the ignorance. I often get rude and inappropriate questions and comments about my dolls and especially my animals. In short, people are just hypocritical creatures. What they don't like isn't good for someone else to like no matter what it is and they'll make up any reason they possibly can to justify it.

 

Lack of understanding which can stem into the various reactions: Creeped out, 'Grow up' messages, Mockery or just a face.

I've had a friend tell me 'you should sell them' and an 'almost boyfriend' tell me I had to sell them if I wanted to be with him (eesh control freak, thank you dollies for making that side of him come out sooner!).
The most annoying is the 'grow up' message. One of my girl friends, who knows that they're pricey, asks me every now and then 'Soooo do you still collect those dolls?' More and more I see this person being kinda judgmental or trying to 'Rain on my parade' so I try not to tell such people too much, because in the end, it's jealousy in how comfortable I am (we are) at liking the things we like despite the fact that they have been associated in some ways to 'children'.

If anything these 'childish hobbies' we have might just give us extra points towards dealing with the younger generations. We aren't of the mentality that says 'Oh I am too old, too good for this kind of thing'.
There's a huge difference between being mature and being young at heart. You can be both.

I sometimes like to make jokes that they come alive and eat brains just like zombies. 'I am building an army'.

I'm also a gamer so I constantly deal with "when will you grow out of it" or "you live in another world (as an excuse for no-commitment LOL).
If gaming is such a childish thing, how come I make a living working in the industry? How come the majority of the people I work with, grown adults, all play?

So in conclusion: Jealousy. They have destroyed the awesome child within because they felt the need to comply to the pressures set forth by a society that generally doesn't understand the true value of art. Art envelops us in calm, it is essential. I prefer to escape in my 'world', my reverie, my art, than let 'the real world' overtake me to the point of burnout.

So let them judge I say. Let them get all angry, point and laugh, etc. I have no problem with their opinion as long as they don't 'tresspass'. Someone touches my dolly (although inanimate) and they're going to have to deal with the beserk version of me. No amount of Esuna will fix it. *geekjoke*

Sorry If I got a bit off topic there.

 

So, why do you think the main reason people sometimes get annoyed with BJD hobbyists?
Cause some are REALLY intense about this. I don't mean in the taking pains with an expensive item sense of the word because deep down most people can and do understand that. But the level of emotional investment some have in their dolls is very offputting to people. It's kinda weird to me sometimes and I'm in the hobby! Talking about the doll as if they are a real being with likes and dislikes etc...it's just not normally the behavior expected of adults. Put all that in a public environment or having to hear a friend/loved one go on and on and on about something you are not in anyway interested in...

Have you ever encountered someone who put down the BJD hobby for some reason?
No. Well..not really. Most people are actually pretty fascinated by them and want to get a closer look. Of the handful (literally. I think it's only...maybe 5?) of negative responses, none were hurtful in anyway. I've encountered just one doll phobia. To her credit, she did try to look at the doll, but as I don't like causing people stress I put the doll away. It wasn't any hassle to me and I didn't feel slighted in the least. For others, it's the jointing of the dolls and the realistic looking eyes that tend to get me the heebie jeebie response. Though once it was because of how I was holding one that got a reaction, hehe.

Then the final and most memorable negative encounter was at an anime convention where a young lady said I had one of those creepy dolls. She looked again and conceeded that my little elf wasn't creepy but the group of people with them upstairs was. Rude? Definiately. I don't know why exactly she said that of them, but my guess is that it's rooted in my first answer.

If you're one of those people who have had people eventually accept your hobby, how long did it take, and in your opinion, what made them come to terms with it?
I'm not technically in this category; those around me that I care about actually LIKE my dolls and don't give me grief. The money aspect is actually not as alarming as I expected. My dolls are well cared for and dressed in neat, quality clothing. They *look* like they should be worth something to people that are not in the hobby. The fact that they are customizeable, that some can hold their value if not increase, and how many ways there are to actually profit from it (if that is your inclination) is usually more than enough to nip that line of protest in the bud. Of the people that have given me the "O_O" response it usually just takes a second look, and being able to examine them and ask questions.

 

Actually, I had an experience recently. There is an Asian figure and kit shop I stop by frequently. They carry Mr Super Clear, along with some really excellent paints and brushes used for the tiny kits. They're perfect for dolls!

I started talking to the owner, who has known me for some time, about them and he groaned. He told me that I was the first polite BJD owner that he had met and that the rest had been extremely rude and demanding of him.

Being a collector of Japanese action figures, he isn't judgemental of people who have interesting or young at heart hobbies. He's just had several bad experiences will doll owners that makes him automatically look at BJD owners in a bad light.

I was glad that I could give him a different impression on owners and after talking with him, he was kind of interested in some of the 1/6th scale sculpts and wanted to know more about them the next time I stopped by.

 

I can't understand why there's such negativity towards those of the BJD community. My Friends all think my doll head is creepy. My boyfriend thinks my hobby is silly and every time I try and tell him about something new that excited me whether it's a body or an accessory ( I do enjoy admiring other's craft ) or my newest idea of how to raise money for it he laughs. He says he doesn't know why I would put so much time/effort/money into a doll.

I told him once ( sort of jokingly after a picture I saw ) that my doll was going to be sitting in a seatbelt in my car, she was going to be part of the family. He said "No it won't. It's going to be in a box or a bag in the back. A doll is not part of the family. A DOG is part of the family"

And this is from a dungeons and dragons nerd... ( who's spent the last 8 months working on a "binder" for it whatever that means )

 

So, why do you think the main reason people sometimes get annoyed with BJD hobbyists?

I think there are a few reasons. Dolls are, generally speaking, toys. Having toys some how makes you childish or immature. Also, people tend to think dolls are creepy. The uncanny valley(if I'm right) effect. Another thing, some people tend to be very close minded. They're not open to the idea of dolls for adults for whatever reason. Cost tends to sway their opinions. I've gotten this a few times: "Hey that's really really pretty, what did it cost? OMG YOU'RE INSANE! IT'S NOT WORTH THAT MUCH!"

Have you ever encountered someone who put down the BJD hobby for some reason?

Yes. Again, it's cost related mostly. Most people stick with 'oh that's really creepy.' Oh well.

If you're one of those people who have had people eventually accept your hobby, how long did it take, and in your opinion, what made them come to terms with it?

I did have a switch in opinion. It took about a month I guess. I showed one of my co-workers pictures of my boys mostly and my cat-eared doll. She really thought they were unusual. She had the 'its creepy' reaction. Then I ordered my DDoll Lia, a normal human girl doll that has a fab smile, and showed her. Immediately my coworker was thrilled about the doll. So I brought in all the clothes for my doll; she was gaga over the clothes and shoes. Then it was all about when she was coming, what wig, what eyes. She's really into her. She's still iffy about the other dolls but she's coming around especially when I told her about the 'character' relationships. I think the shift came because she could 'relate' to what she was seeing. She wasn't looking at a boy, a robot, or a cat....she was looking at an attractive girl. People tend to relate to things that are like or similar to themselves.

 

So, why do you think the main reason people sometimes get annoyed with BJD hobbyists?

Because it's a societal norm that playing with dolls/toys is something for children, and when people see the price tag associated with BJD's it's a shock that anyone would spend that much on a "toy".

Have you ever encountered someone who put down the BJD hobby for some reason?

My grandmother actually, is the only person who has actually reacted badly to me liking dolls. She reacted about the same as when she heard I spent money on online games. She basically said she couldn't believe I was so frivolous, or that my mother would approve of me being so wasteful with my money. I basically got scolded about how I can't do anything with it and it's just wasteful and she can't wrap her mind around how I can behave that way.
My only response was that most people I know my age just party and there are much worse things I could be doing and putting my money towards.
It ended the argument, but she still doesn't approve of my hobby.
She doesn't rant about how irresponsible I am (which I'm not, all my needs are covered and my left over spending money goes into doll funds) but she tolerates the hobby. Her responses are generally short and something like "that's nice/interesting/pretty".
If I had to guess why she tolerates it is because she tried to lecture my parents about my "poor money sense" and they supported me in pursuing whatever makes me happy and she had no one else to argue it with.

 

So, why do you think the main reason people sometimes get annoyed with BJD hobbyists?
I think it's just closed-mindedness, to be honest. I think it comes from the same place as childhood bullying - "why would you do [non-mainstream thing]? Doing non-mainstream things means you are weird, and if you are weird, I can't associate with you lest people think I'm weird too!"

Personally, I don't have the energy to spend on anyone who would judge me for my hobbies. I enjoy them, so if you respect me at all, you won't speak badly about them.

Have you ever encountered someone who put down the BJD hobby for some reason?
Nope. I actively avoid surrounding myself with judgemental people, and don't chat about my hobbies with strangers.

 

Money is always annoying as far as the doll hobby is concerned.
why do non-doll people get annoyed? Probably because they feel frustrated by a use of money that they personally do not comprehend.
I have tried comparing limited dolls to first editions of important books. (this didn't go down so well for me, but I think the imagery is important)
Current problem:

I think my mother is particularly concerned about the value of a doll as a "distraction". I get distracted very easily, and often get sidetracked, often not dropping something until it is completed. Clothes, wigs. I can tell it would bother her if I put a lot of time into that rather than academic pursuits.

basically what I wrote elsewhere. I'm quoting myself TT_TT

and finally...
how long does it take for people to accept the hobby? I had flatmates this year, and they've all been really accepting of the hobby. I told them at different points in the year though, as that was when we got to know each other better. It's best to tell people about your slightly more out-there hobbies when you've already formed a bond.
Fortunately for me, my flatmates are very open-minded people, so they pretty much accepted my hobby right away. One of them has really warmed to Anya, and always asks me what I'll make for her next! It's a real confidence booster when you meet non-doll people like that who are really supportive

 

So, why do you think the main reason people sometimes get annoyed with BJD hobbyists?
It's all about the money we spend on these dolls. That's what gets brought up the most from people who don't understand this hobby. I have tried to explain what goes into BJDs,and that the costs really are reasonable,but some people still don't get it. What gets me is that I kept my opinion to myself when certain people I know spent $700 to go to a ball game that's over in a few hours,but they criticize me for spending money on dolls that I consider works of art.

I'm at the point where I just don't care anymore if people accept this hobby or not.

 

So, why do you think the main reason people sometimes get annoyed with BJD hobbyists?
Because we're considered to do something that most people have never heard of before. The unknown breeds fear; plus games and movies showing how 'creepy' dolls can be are more commonly viewed by people than actual BJDs themselves.

Have you ever encountered someone who put down the BJD hobby for some reason?
Nope. Some of my friends have no interest in it and make that blaringly obvious when I speak; which is rude but not outright mean.

If you're one of those people who have had people eventually accept your hobby, how long did it take, and in your opinion, what made them come to terms with it?
There's been some people that instantly liked my dolls because - ("I could design my costumes on one of those!" "They're beautiful" "Look at the craftsmanship on that" "You love them so I love them"). Oddly enough it's actually been my male friends who have been the most supportive of my BJD hobby. I even had a guy friend interested in buying one, although he later had to spend the money he saved up repairing his bike which was in a crash (He was Ok though). There are also those who are dis-interested ("I don't know what you're talking about" "Oh, dolls. Yeah." or the most common "*Sighs, looks away distantly* Yeah, yeah, sure....") That last one is the most hurtful because I hardly ever talk about my dolls. I wish for just once my closest (and female) friends would ask me about *my* hobbies instead of talking about theirs all of the time. Ah well. My family (regardless of gender) are supportive, and my grandad and great aunt both really love them

 

My boyfriend thought my doll was creepy and a waste of money when I first got her. It really hurt when I would mention BJD related things during moments of idle conversation, and he'd either ignore me completely or tell me that he thought it was stupid and too expensive. I keep my doll out of sight and in her box, so she doesn't sit out where she can be seen. Even when I am working on her faceup, I place her head in a white cloth and back into a dark box when I am done working. One night, while my boyfriend and I were eating dinner together, I had an emo moment and expressed my sadness of not having anyone to talk to about the hobby, since I don't know any other BJD owners in real life. I also lamented that it really sucked having no one support me in something I really love, and to either be ignored about it completely or told that it was a big stupid waste of money. Maybe a month later during Christmas, he actually bought me a BJD related item and it meant so much to me, since it was sort of symbolic of him actually giving a crap about my feelings regarding the hobby. It was really a happy moment!

 

So, why do you think the main reason people sometimes get annoyed with BJD hobbyists?
I think the main reason is because some people don't understand why we love it. They may be afraid of the thing they don't understand and so react negatively out of fear based on negative stereotypes of doll collectors. Alternatively, they may not understand why we put time and money into something "impractical" like dolls. Some people are extremely practical and also aren't afraid to say their opinion, and it may come off as negative when someone expresses their view that we are 'wasting' time and money or that we are 'too old for toys'. But who knows, really? There are probably as many reasons for people to have bad opinions toward BJD hobbyists as there are people who hold such opinions.

Have you ever encountered someone who put down the BJD hobby for some reason?
All the negativity I've encountered has been from people in the hobby, not from people outside it. Pretty much everyone I know who isn't in the hobby either thinks it's fine or really seems to have no opinion. I have a few relatives who think it's a waste of time and money, but they've never interfered with my enjoyment of the hobby in a way that I would consider detremential or 'putting down' the hobby.

If you're one of those people who have had people eventually accept your hobby, how long did it take, and in your opinion, what made them come to terms with it?
My mother has slowly come to accept my passion for resin. I've been in the hobby over five years and it's only this year that she'll discuss it conversationally with me in an accepting way. I think she finally realized this is one of the things that makes me happy and that it's not just a passing thing. The resin is here to stay, so I guess she's just decided to accept my dolls because she loves me.

 

Oddly enough, the only negative comments I've heard were from some people I know who collect other types of dolls (Barbies, baby dolls, AMerican Girl, wooden Hitty dolls, things of that nature,) who dismissed BJDs as "those weird Asian things. Not REAL dolls." i think it's the "new" factor that they were having a hard time with. Not that ball-joint dolls themselves are new, but BJDs are a new interpretation of an old art form. Then at the same time, they were bemoaning about how "young girls" don't collect dolls anymore, because "it's all computers nowadays."

These were people around my age, too. Eek. I must have missed a memo about what age I'm supposed to be acting....

 

I think it's because BJDs are often associated with the anime/manga crowd (nothing wrong with liking either of those things), which many people associate with those few who are unhealthily obsessed with it. People see BJDs and make the assumption that the owner must be some sort of weird Japanese-obsessed person with a creepy doll fetish. It's sad. I can't talk about or show my BJD to any of my friends or else they'll think I'm weird. Only one of them knows about it and he recoiled in horror and called my doll "freaking weird" when I showed it to him…

My sister railed on me for a long time for getting a BJD because she saw it as a huge waste of money. She would call it "weird" and use any opportunity she could to ridicule me in public for being so interested in dolls. She'd say things like, "Well at least I don't play with DOLLS!" just to embarrass me.

 

So, why do you think the main reason people sometimes get annoyed with BJD hobbyists?: I think it's a mixture of a phobia, and deep down resentment of us following an expensive hobby that is an extension of a childhood love (for many).

Have you ever encountered someone who put down the BJD hobby for some reason?: Yes, a good friend of mine, who I finally snapped at when she commented on how she couldn't understand why people would enjoy dolls, and went on and on about it. She was often forced into dolls as a child when she didn't want them, and so had a deep-seated loathing for them that put a strain on our relationship due to a conflict of interests and her being generally rude about it.

If you're one of those people who have had people eventually accept your hobby, how long did it take, and in your opinion, what made them come to terms with it?: It took several months of her actually being over at my house constantly, in a room that had about eight of them in it, and my friend and I using pictures of them as characters (we RP). The funniest part is, she now wants her own. What a turnabout!

 

I'm not sure why people get annoyed with us! I only person I've ever encountered who had hated BJD's from first sight is actually my twin and yes she puts me down alot! She thinks they look like Chucky! (She has actually never watched that film. How does a Resinsoul Ya look like Chucky????)~ and she does not have a doll phobia... its sad because she knows how important it is to me, I just want her to accept it...

My twin sis has never accepted that I'm in the hobby...But my Mom sort of humored me for a bit! But she had accepted it now, and we have begun to talk about BJD's sometimes, which is great! For her it took around 2 years (when I got my first BJD), I think she was ok with it as I paid for it all myself, and she was already used to me collecting anime/manga anyway

 

Here's the thing; someone, somewhere, sometime is going to make you feel uncomfortable. It could be making fun of you or just being critical. It's going to happen and there is not much you can do to avoid it. However, you have complete control of how you react. Sometimes it's best to smile, nod and turn away. Sometimes someone is just trying to understand and lacks manners. Sometimes you can just say to someone they are making you feel uncomfortable. Bullies are not used to being called out. If someone is outright being a bully, call them out, but be polite. Hold your head high but don't be a snob.
So, why do you think the main reason people sometimes get annoyed with BJD hobbyists?
I don't believe I have experienced this. Some folks just don't understand the concept of hobbies. Some folks have no money for hobbies and might be jealous. Maybe some hobbyists come off as snobs or act rudely. No one likes it to be rubbed in their face you can afford something they cannot.
Have you ever encountered someone who put down the BJD hobby for some reason?
No. I also make dollhouses and my friends and family are used to that. People in public are usually curious and the dolls make them smile or they just ignore us.
If you're one of those people who have had people eventually accept your hobby, how long did it take, and in your opinion, what made them come to terms with it?
Sometimes people are afraid of things they do not understand. Be patient. Understand that not everyone is going to 'get it'.