Worried about showing favouritism to your dolls?

Oct 29, 2020

    1. I recently got my first doll, and she's absolutely beautiful. I've spoiled her with lots of dolly clothes and accessories, and when I'm not busy with work we're practically inseparable. In a nutshell, I'm head over heels in love with her.

      However, I also have 2 more beautiful dolls on the way, and I'm also eyeing another preloved one. I'm tempted to get the preloved doll too but the thing holding me back is I'm wondering if I could divide my attention well between these 2, and eventually 4 when they all arrive... I'm certain I would still love my first doll most and I feel it'd be a bit unfair to my future dolls. I didn't really think about this when I ordered the next 2 (whose sculpts I really love). But I would feel a bit guilty if those dolls arrive and I can't give them all an equal amount of love. Or worse, if I end up liking them more than my first doll and neglecting her....

      I'd say I feel almost like a parent who doesn't want a second child because they're worried about not being able to divide their love :sweat I was wondering if anyone else had these kind of feelings? What happened in your situation if you did?
       
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    2. I personally haven’t been worried about it, I would say I have three types of dolls, my universe crew who all interact with my first who is the center of the universe and my “favorite spoilt” one, then I have the ones that I just enjoy looking at and are 90% just decor and my last set that kinda mix in with the first set of dolls I can experiment with and try new things on (I love the hands in customizing of the hobby the most)

      Tying the characters together to interact helps keep the non favorites in the forefront if it turns out you aren’t able to spread out the love, you’ll want to play with them because it makes your fav happy :frownyblush::)
       
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    3. 60+ dolls.... favorited about 6 of them at the most. But its okay. It depends on my mood, I’d give one or two more attention than rest for a while, then move on to next 2, and so on. They all take turns getting my attention. Its like a harem, basically. Ha!
       
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    4. Haha, I have the opposite problem! I've ordered a few which I love.. but I've got my eyes on one that I know is going to become the favorite if I do buy her! She doesn't quite fit in with the others, so if I do get her, I'm sure there will be resentment on both sides of the dolls that conform to the main aesthetic vs. her as my favorite.

      Might be easier if I didn't buy her.... but I don't know if I am strong enough to not!!!

      (In the end, I think it's okay to let them all know you do love them, and that you just have different priorities for all of them!)
       
    5. ...Stating the obvious, but the dolls don't care. Some people buy only one doll, and are satisfied to shower it with clothing and accessories, never owning another. Other people like a wide variety for many reasons, like shelling characters or simply enjoying owning many sculpts. Personally, I'n in the latter group - although I do have three favorites. You just have to figure out what kind of collector you are! :thumbup
       
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    6. Nah. Dolls aren't alive or have feelings. Any feelings we think they have is just our own projection on to inanimate objects.

      It's something to keep in mind because some in the hobby put their dolls "feelings" above that of real people.
       
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    7. I'm in the "inanimate object" crowd. It's easy to feel that our dolls are almost human, as we give them names, stories, characters and grow attached, but in the end, they really are just pretty hunks of resin without feelings or needs. You aren't obligated to give them equal attention, or regular attention at all.

      I did worry about this when I got my first. He was just so pretty, so perfect, so amazing. When I got my second, I didn't love him anywhere near as much as the first and actually had some buyer's remorse, though I went on to grow to love him too (for awhile. He's since been sold as I decided I liked bigger dolls better). Currently, I'd say my "favorite" doll is not my first doll, but a girl I got last year. Yet my first still holds a special spot in my heart and if I were somehow forced to sell every doll except one, I'd probably keep my first. You can have different favorites in different ways. Your favorite may even change day to day, that's perfectly okay too!
       
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    8. Im also in the inanimate object crowd. Sometimes things take a personality in your mind, and that's totally cool! But they don't really care if they are set to the side a little bit. Even if another doll becomes your favorite, I'd find it hard to believe you would completely ignore all the other ones. They are still individuals and likely your attention will go in shifts in which doll you want to spend the most time on :thumbup
       
    9. The important part in loving a hobby, doll or a past time where you are the only living being is not the object you love - it is how YOU feel :) As long as what you do gives YOU joy and makes YOU feel the warms and fuzzies it's ok to be careless with your dolls "feelings" - in fact that is a big part of the attraction - for once you can and even should be as fickle with your affections as you feel like being, because at the end of the day you are the only one alive in that relationship, so you are the one who matters and nobody really gets hurt :)
       
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    10. I definitely show favoritism. Sometimes my attention comes and goes between all of them but one pretty much became my emotional support and heart, love her to death.
       
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    11. I felt that way as a kid a lot about my stuffed animals and haven't entirely grown out of it, as illogical as feeling that way is. I definitely have favorites among my dolls, but that hasn't stopped me from bringing more home. :sweat
       
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    12. nah they're resin, they'll deal. :lol: I didn't raise my children to be so dependent on external validation. #FreeRangeResin
       
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    13. I had these exact feelings when I was expecting my second doll. Don't worry, if you develop a personal bond with each doll, each one will feel special. And they will have each other to keep them company. ^^ None of my dolls (character-wise) require or are desperate for my attention... they probably like it when I'm not watching closely as they can muck around and be mischievous :XD:
       
    14. @NatsuC :lol: Love your comment!

      I‘m in the ‚objects‘ boat. It is fun & part of the play to project feelings into them, but I would not let that bother me. Part of the attraction of the hobby for me is, that when life is getting in the way, I can just leave the dolls alone for days and month if needed. I can also favour one and think another would mind not being in the focus, But these are just mind games.Two of my cats on the other hand are often jealous of my attention towards them or other things and that is a real problem as they them sooner or later attack each other. As long as your dolls don‘t start that, you are fine. :3nodding:
       
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    15. There was a time when I thought this. But to be honest, I like my entire crew. I sometimes think "Maybe I should sell one or two dolls..." But no, there is reason why every single one of them is with me. I have very few OCs, most of them are from existing franchises. But the characters mean something to me. And I lovingly made most of the stuff for them myself. Many of them are modded (in fact, I modded the death out my very last Iplehouse SID to work properly). So they may even not be worth anything by now, as they are not in MINT condition fresh out of the box.

      Well, I do not care. They are dolls, not pets. So it is no biggie if they stay half a year or so in their cabinet because I work on something else (well, it is mostly something for one of them). They need no food, get no strange conditions because they are bored...so all is fine as long as I look at them and think "You are cool, I really like you".
       
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    16. I mean, unless I'm wrong, in which case when my dolls become haunted one of them comes for me in vengeance. Pray for me.
       
    17. Lol. Every time haunted dolls comes up I would be like "YOU HAVE BESPOKE TAILORING WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT YOU SPOILED BRAT"

      My dolls with the most stuff are usually the ones with more conventional/popular fashion styles and easy to buy outfits.

      I have dolls I like but they are a weird size so they don't have a ton of stuff.

      =_= I really need to finally stop myself from growing the collection so I can finish sewing for everyone.

      I don't really put that much thought into favoritism.... but I guess the "un-favorite" are the dolls that end up on the marketplace!
       
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    18. Nope, not worried at all about favouring one of my dolls more than others. First of all - the dolls don't care. They'll be just as pretty when you never touch them at all. Second - I'm not the kind of doll owner who does a lot with their dolls anyways. Some of them, I haven't touched in years. But I still wouldn't sell them cos I love to look at them (sooooo pretty/handsome!). Generally speaking, the newest doll is almost always the one that gets the most attention. Gotta get the clothing and wig and eyes right, after all. Once that's gone, my attention might shift again to a different one. Or stay on the newcomer. Or shift back and fro between dolls. I also definitely do have my favourites among my dolls. Those will often get to sit next to me while I'm working or watching TV, just because I wanna have a doll nearby every now and then (and since I'm working from home, I don't even have to take them along to work, I can just grab one from the couch - perfect).
       
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    19. Haha. It's natural to feel this way. Likening it to a parent trying to divide their love amongst kids is so spot on. Hahahahaha. It was easier when we had one then two then three. And then, well, stuff happened :hug:and we're at a booming 18 dollies (and one floating head). :sweat If I was a good dolly mommy I would say like a parent shift back and forth whenever you can. Some may get more love than others but it's okay as they have a good home with you. That, and what some else said...they are dolls, not living creatures, so nothing to worry about playing favorites, right? *looks over at dolly collection* :| If you really feel guilty, just pair them up so it "feels" like they are not alone on that shelf gathering dust as they sit unused and not played with. :XD:
       
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    20. :XD: ikr?! Child I wear 5 dollar scraps for 4 years, the lace on your dress is at least 20dollars please stop complaining.

      That said I do feel a little bit bad for dolls I do not bond with and am sincerely happy for when they find better forever homes. Everything deserves its own place in the universe.
       
      #20 NatsuC, Oct 31, 2020
      Last edited: Nov 1, 2020
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