Worried about showing off doll

Jul 19, 2017

    1. Hey guys,
      I'm taking Meg to my first doll meet soon and I am terrified she's not good enough. I've seen people with the most amazing dolls with full outfits and wigs and I am worried she's going to get laughed at because she doesn't have expensive outfits or an amazing wig.
      I don't know if I'm doubting her because of anxiety or if people do judge harshly at doll meet ups :/

      So I am wondering, have any of you been terrified to show off your doll for the first time?
       
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    2. I was scared to go to my first meetup! There were all kinds people there with dolls in varying degree of "finished-ness". In my experience it seemed like they were just happy that more people came by!

      One thing that I found useful is to look for other people that look nervous or quiet in the meetup and talk with them. They may be in a similar situation as you!
       
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    3. Aww :( can't say i've been to any meets so i'm no help there... But the dollworld is full of people who just started or have project dolls. I don't think it's expected to bring the most perfect dollie ever :) its a doll meet not a doll competiton. If she's yours and you love her then that's all that matters!
       
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    4. Don't worry too much about it. People always have different taste in dolls so they really can't judge others. Every doll is unique and most people go to meet ups to see the sculpts that they don't have. I met some good friends in meet ups and our friendship last longer than 7 years : ) We even talk about life stuff and make ups (for human) now!!!
       
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    5. Be proud of your doll instead of worrying about what others think of him/her. We all started somewhere. At my first meat I didn't even had a bjd. I've made some friends over the few years and some have just one or two dolls, some many. If someone looks down at you, you don't want to mingle with them. Have fun and go. So much to see, learn and meet:)
       
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    6. People will be excited to meet you, excited to see your doll, and excited to hear your future plans. It is sometimes hard to feel like you are somehow behind, or not up to snuff, but people understand this hobby is a slow burn and it can be years before some dolls are in a completed state. You got this. <3
       
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    7. The hobby has changed SO much since my first doll meet. It's gotten so much more accepting than it used to be.

      Don't worry about it, (easier said than done, I know) and just have fun. I always thought doll meets were a great place to see and learn about different kinds of dolls. And who knows? Maybe someone will be curious about yours. :)
       
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    8. I was very nervous about going , I did not even own a doll when I went to my first couple of doll meets, and I am a lot older than the rest of them. I was not sure I'd fit in. The people there were welcoming and friendly. I got to see and handle all kinds of dolls, including some hybrids, and anthros, neither of which I had even known existed. It was a real learning experience. Nine years later, I am still going to doll meets, they are so much fun, it is always exciting to see new dolls in person. No one is judgmental, because everyone in the hobby has been in the, " I got my doll yesterday in the mail, it's got no clothes, shoes or wig yet, but I still think it is beautiful and want to show it to everybody" situation.
       
      #8 rosalynmouse, Jul 19, 2017
      Last edited: Jul 19, 2017
    9. There are so many stunning dolls in this hobby that it can make you think that everyone has dolls that have expensive things. It's just not true. Yes, you will probably see some people who have dolls with expensive outfits and other things, but you'll also see dolls "in progress" and meet people who just happen to like their dolls in a more modest look or a modern casual look (a T-shirt and leggings, for instance). You'll also find people who are learning to do faceups themselves, so their dolls' faces may look less professional because they're just getting started. My advice is not to worry and not to compare your dolls to anyone else's. If you do meet mostly people with dolls that have expensive things, just appreciate them for what they are.

      And if it's any consolation, my first doll meet was a fantastic experience. Everyone was so nice and welcoming. I brought one doll, my Minifee Chloe, and because she's such a popular doll, people could have reacted negatively to that, but no one was judgmental or unkind. Everyone was so nice!
       
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    10. Bitch-slap whoever tries to bring you down.
       
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    11. Just say you're trying to find her perfect look, and ask for advice. That will derail any potential criticism (but I don't think you have anything to worry about). :)
       
    12. Yes definitely. I was terrified my first doll meet. I didn't know anyone, I was going alone and I'd only had my first doll about two months. I'd just joined DOA and pretty much no one owned any Dollmore dolls and I had just gotten my second doll who was a B&G Ymir, and hardly anyone owned B&G either. I was convinced everyone would hate them.

      I got there and found pretty much everyone owned Volks and CP Delfs, which didn't exactly help my terror lol
      However, every single person was super-nice and accepting of my dolls. Even excited to see them, since they were different companies dolls than the majority. It didn't matter that they both had default faceups and not the best clothes or that their wigs weren't great (because trust me, that was the case.), it was just a nice social hour(s) where we all were able to chat dolls and I got to see a lot of different BJDs which was great, as I'd only ever seen mine.

      Nine years later (holy hell has it been that long omg) and it's the same....new people come all the time and some dolls are brought blank, some with no wigs or eyes, some with no clothes and it doesn't matter, because it's not about whose doll is the prettiest, it's about the hobby, and the people and since so much of the hobby is customization a lot of dolls are in WIP stages all the time. Heck some of mine never leave that stage lol

      No one minds. And I know this gets said all the time, but it's true.....if they do mind and have a problem with it, it's their problem, not yours and it's possible you don't need that type of person in your life.

      EDIT cause I just saw this -- asking advice is a great idea for a couple reasons. A. you can always learn new things, and some people may have been at this for a long time and know the things.
      B. It's a great ice breaker and a way to get to know people. I literally met some of my best friends in the world at my first doll meet, and one of them I grilled a lot about faceups back in the day lol
       
      #12 VampireAngel13, Jul 19, 2017
      Last edited: Jul 19, 2017
    13. Don't worry if its your first meet with this group. My local group has a group of regulars and irregular attendees who have everything from all-company-original limited fullsets to do-it your-self-ers and made-your-own dolls folks attending.

      FYI: its at least as uncomfortable for those of us who have "nice dolls", whatever that means. Deciding who not to bring. I have been collecting since this hobby kicked off stateside in 2004 and I always worry people will be envious of my dolls or think that I have $ when the reality is that I once lived in Japan where I had a decent job and relatively easy access to Volks and YJ auctions. The only way I get to buy anything nice now is by selling another doll.

      I am lucky in that I can sew, and can paint a decent faceup if I have to. But I was also a beginner once.

      And as others have said, if you are relatively new to the hobby or are a do-it-yourself-er you can always ask for advice from others as a way to break the ice.
       
    14. Just be yourself. I haven't been to meets in awhile (I'd like to get back to going) and aside from one person, everyone else was always super welcoming and nice. Didn't matter if my dolls were resinsoul or even Obitsu. Didn't matter if at the time I couldn't hem to save my life. They were just glad I was there. And I was the youngest there too at the time at 17 years old. But I have a lot of happy memories of taking my dolls to these meets, getting to know people, getting to handle dolls I would've otherwise not been able to. Helped how I wanted to shape my collection too because I could see what kind of sculpts and sizes I wanted to stick with or expand on. I wasn't the only one with Resinsoul either. And one of my MSD girls has no faceup but no one judged her.
       
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    15. It's been an age since I attended a meet, but "back in the day" when I went to them more regularly, people brought dolls in all kinds of different states... from perfect, custom-everything, dressed-to-the-nines finished favorites to first dolls with beginner face-ups and home-made fur wigs. No one was given a hard time over what they brought as far as I ever saw, OP.
       
    16. I was so scared of my first meetup because I felt exactly the same. My first doll was an AoD that I (poorly) painted and sewed for myself, and I thought I'd be left out for it. Nope! It actually went really well. Someone there had a limited fullset Volks, and that intimidated me even more, until she put that doll in my hands and told me to check her out and play with her. People were super nice about my dolls as well.

      I can't speak for all groups, obviously, but in my local group, we have dolls ranging from secondhand rescued cheaper dolls to very expensive limiteds, and no one seems to care. We have everything from dolls who have been completed for years to black floating heads here. We always get excited to see the newest dolls at groups, regardless of sculpt or how complete they may be. We have newbies who are just learning to do their first faceup or make their first t-shirt to people who have been in the hobby for 10+ years and have even professionally made shoes and sculpted their own dolls. We try to be very welcoming to everyone and remember we were all newbies at one time. We encourage each other, offer tips when asked, and support each others' ideas and projects. We are a rather diverse group and may not have a lot in common outside the hobby, but we do a pretty good job of setting all negativity and drama aside and just enjoying the dolls for the meet times. :) I hope other groups are like this too.
       
    17. Thank you all for your kind words and advice. It's really intimidating to go because it will just be me (my IRL friend thinks its weird and find dolls creepy) and its a few hours away so it's a road trip with terror that I won't be accepted or my doll won't be good enough to be seen. Meg is a Doll Legends Luna and because it's a new company not many people have seen them/have them, and that's always nervous.

      I'm starting to get more excited because someone might be bringing a minifee that I'll be able to look at, as I'm looking at getting one later on in the year but have only ever seen them online. The big downside to this hobby is that everything is through photos online and hoping for the best whilst your credit card cries lmao. I'll be making Meg a pair of pants and a shirt before I go and pairing it with the most expensive thing I've ever purchased for a non human (a Code Noir jacket), because it's winter and I love her Captain Cold style jacket.

      My biggest fear is about her wig. I just can't get it to look nice enough for me, there is always something wrong or it looks to cheap :/ I think it's just going to be one of those things that no matter what I'll always find fault with.

      It's really nice to realise that everyone seems to be nervous before their first doll meet, and hopefully even tho this will probably be a very small one (not really a big hobby here in Australia), I'll be able to find people who I can gush about beautiful dolls with.
       
    18. This is a strange discussion thread, if I have a nice doll with nice clothes, I'd show it off without hesitation. "Nice" is subjective. Oh yes, I would even give the exact price of the doll if asked. In a dolls' meet, every doll is beautiful. I've come to a point where I can attend a doll meet without a doll but instead take time to admire everyone else's. If you have a really nice doll, please don't hesitate to show him or her off.
       
    19. I really believe you have no reason to worry! :3nodding: It is quite possible that you are overly critical towards your doll. Even if you weren't, nobody would be unkind. They'd probably be curious about your doll - in my experience, new or rare dolls get attention because everybody is interested in them. If you go to meetups often enough, you will notice that it's mostly the same dolls you will see over and over again, so it's interesting to see something new. I can almost guarantee you the minifee you wanted to see - probably a Chloe. ;) (I have absolutely nothing against Chloe, I own one myself and love her, but she's very common, just like @AmaltheaMoon said!)

      Another thing that will probably happen is that there's one or two dolls with absolutely perfect outfits, wigs, face ups etc. and people will photograph those dolls and gather around them. I think that that's very understandable as most people would love to see and hold a beautiful doll. The owner probably has put a lot of money, time and effort to complete the doll and probably also has a lot of experience in finding the best of everything. This doesn't mean that they would laugh at somebody else's less complete doll. In my experience, the vast majority of dolls in a meet up are more or less incomplete and usually every doll owner can name at least one thing they would like to fix or upgrade in their doll. So have fun in the meet up and don't worry about your doll! :aheartbea
       
      #19 Mista Isilme, Jul 20, 2017
      Last edited: Jul 20, 2017
    20. Not quite the same thing, but I was hesitant to bring several of my favorite dolls with me to a BJD convention in my area this summer. I have a lot of social anxiety to begin with, and didn't know what to expect. But it was great! There were no "judgey" looks or comments at all, and my dolls aren't dressed to the nines by any means.

      But like others mentioned, it was a great way to see other sculpts, and see how others style their dolls. Someone had a fantastic full sized BJD decked out as a fantasy style vampire, including open mouth, fangs, and some dripping blood. Another was covered head to toe in intricate tattoos. Neither were my style, but that didn't stop me from admiring and asking a lot of questions. And they asked questions about my dolls, too.

      I think it was a good way to live vicariously for a bit with other people's dolls. You know, a doll you would probably not own yourself, but man is it cool looking, and so fantastic to see in person!

      It's hard to get past initial shyness and uncertainty, but once you do I think you will never regret attending. :)