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"You can't buy her too!" Friends forbidding you to get the same doll

Aug 7, 2010

    1. So my fellow doll collector-- and my best friend, and I happen to have very similar tastes when it comes to picking our dolls. It's never really been an issue, we've agreed that at some point, we'll have the same doll(s). There is one acception to that agreement, however. She's absolutely in LOVE with the doll she just got and has told me that I can never get the same one. It just so happens that she didn't like the doll the first time she got it, and I was actually the one trying to convince her to get it in the first place. Okay, so admittedly, it's a childish argument, but I was just wondering if anyone else has run into the same problem with collectors that you're close too. Is it just me, or is it a little ridiculous for her to be telling me which doll I can and can't buy? What would you do in my situation?

    2. I'm not really close with other collectors, but I'd be annoyed should anyone ever tell me what your friend has told you. It seems like a very petty thing to do. If I were in that position, my passive-aggressive streak would kick in, and I would absolutely buy the same one out of annoyance (assuming I could afford it and did want it). But, that's just me... It's not the best advice as far as keeping relations friendly goes.. :sweat
    3. I knew someone that never really said "You can't get that doll" but if she liked a doll and wanted to get it then the others in the group knew if we got it there would be unnecessary drama. I think it's ridiculous because many people in the hobby have hugely different characters in mind when choosing dolls and you can make a doll look totally different with a wig and a faceup. If you want the doll get it. It's a free country if it was my friend I would talk to them about how it's not friendly to limit my doll choice that way they aren't blind sided and you can let them know it's not because they got it, it's because you liked it too.
    4. I believe that it is your life. If you want it, get it. Personalities, face-ups, clothing can all be different. C'mon - how many other people on here have a DOD, or a Leekeworld doll? There's 7.4 billion people on the earth. If she dislikes you for it, I would think that is her problem. Though it may hurt, it is your choice, and your life. No one should have ruling over you.
    5. I think it is a bit silly to forbid someone from getting the same doll as you. I have seen this when it comes to wigs and clothes (people not wanting others to style their dolls like their own), but in reality I think it is all just kind of childish and silly. Who cares what someone else does with their dolls? Do what makes you happy and do not worry about what others think ^_^ I cannot imagine someone who is a true friend letting something like having the same doll destroy your friendship.
    6. It always comes back to the same answer: Buy the dolls you love and want, you don't have to answer to anyone about what you decide to spend your money on. No two dolls really look the same once an owner puts their special look on it, so tell your friend to mind her own dolls and not worry about yours.

      Now my girlfriend and I have had a similar disagreement and in the end decided we did not want duplicate dolls in the same house but they are in the same house so both of us get to enjoy owning doll type X even if it technically belongs to the other person. Though we each plan to own one half of an identical twin set in the future, if we can pick the right doll for the twins that both of us want. :/
    7. That's never been an issue between me and my doll friends. And honestly, no one has the right to dictate what doll you should or shouldn't get -- do what you want. Besides, the same sculpt can look vastly different in the hands of different owners. If I were you, I would get whatever doll I wanted.
    8. It's silly. I've seen plenty with the same mold but they all look completely different based on what the doll owner has done with the wig/eyes/face/clothes. I don't know what's up with the people that pull drama for your buying the same mold. "You KNEW I wanted that one!" "If you want it then BUY IT and if I want it I'll buy it too." It's not like they are LE1.
    9. Time to get new friends?
    10. I was just thinking that as I moved away from the thread. "Friends" who dictate what you can and can't do aren't really friends to begin with.
    11. im not sure my friend will end up getting the dolls we once planned to get (shes in a relationship where her other half has a hard time spending money on things you dont need. so as of right now it would cause to many problems as they are in a tight spot anyways)

      but i was going to get a migidoll ryu while she got a miho. she said if she doesnt end up getting any BJDs she wants me to get the miho. planning the miho has made me want him just as much as the ryu so if she does end up getting him, i still plan to get my own

      i can easily see how this might have caused a problem, but sitting down and talking about your plans for your dolls helps alot once you see how different they will end up. if there is only one miho between us it will be one that WE have created. if there are two miho's between us, they will go to different face up artists, have different hair and clothing styles and different personalities. they will be similar in a few ways but not similar enough to cause a problem

      i think your friend just needs to be assured that your doll wont be a copy of hers just becaus he/she is the same mold.
    12. This sort of issue happened with me. My friend first showed me the Volks site and together, we were both obsessively trying to get a doll. She showed me another doll - one that I liked a lot, too - and ended up getting her for Christmas. Now, the only thing I blame my friend for is liking awesome things, because a lot of what she likes, I end up obsessing over, too. But, she ended up not getting the doll, though she kind of did hers by scratch - getting a body and a head...

      Sometimes, I worry that I shouldn't have brought my doll over to show her. She didn't act angry, or jealous, though.

      But the thing about this hobby is that even no two dolls are alike. They can be as unique as their owners, to some degree. Just because her doll looks one way, it doesn't mean you want the exact same face up or anything. Who knows, maybe if you do get the same one, she might change her tune and say 'Yay! They can be siblings!'
    13. Seems like a good plan.
    14. I think with how much you can do with these molds, it's really silly to say "Don't get the same one as me." The two dolls would most likely end up very different.

      However, I could understand someone feeling like another person ripped off their doll. If they had same mold, same hair color, same style, same personality, I would certainly understand some frustration. Perhaps talk about a character you want and describe it to her. Describe the hair color, the eye color, it's style all that and than end it with "But I think the perfect sculpt for it would be _____". If she sees you're not trying to rip off a character of hers, perhaps she'll feel better about it?
    15. That is just so immature and selfish, i think.
      I would not ever tell someone that, infact every time i saw someone here that had the same doll as mine im happy for some reason. I dont think no one in this world should tell you on what you wanted and what you dont, what you can have and what you cant.
      If I were at your the situation, if she chooses her doll over your friendship . . . well, i guess she wasnt my/a real friend.
      Yep, time to get a new friend.
      And also, i so agree with WRITERM
      "But the thing about this hobby is that even no two dolls are alike. They can be as unique as their owners, to some degree. Just because her doll looks one way, it doesn't mean you want the exact same face up or anything. Who knows, maybe if you do get the same one, she might change her tune and say 'Yay! They can be siblings!' "
      I would be so glad if i had someone here at my place with the same doll as me. Maybe we could do doll meets and takes photos together. It'll be so much fun . . . it's like you found your doll her long lost twin sibling. lol >__< That would be so awesome!
    16. Never had trouble with this...my friend and I both have Delf Els, and they are pretty different in looks and how they dress. We usually get the dolls we want, be it someone has the same one or not.
    17. Honestly, I think thats just silly.. If I were in that situation I'd just buy it anyways, she'll get over it. I had a similar situation once, but it wasn't with a bjd. My friend got over it after a few days and we were fine. She has no right to tell you what not to buy.
    18. I've seen it happen before and it's just stupid. As long as the doll is a standard doll or a limited edition doll of more than 1 in the edition, anyone should be able to buy a similar doll. If some one had a special OOAK doll, it's okay to tell people not to recreate that doll, but you can't forbid people to buy something that can be bought from a doll company or the secondary market. (Unless there's something unethical going on, but buying the same doll mold as your friend is not unethical.)

      Having a friend tell you you can't buy the same mold is like you telling what kind of wig colour your friend's doll can't wear: insane. Your doll collection is not your friend's business.

      You can be considerate towards your friend and reasure her you won't copy her doll, but if you want the same mold, you should be able to buy it.
    19. I do have some doll friends in RL and I think I'd like it if I had the same one as someone else. I have RS Dan and my friend has RS Dai (who are very similar-looking) and we kind of bonded over it and declared our dollies cousins. One of the fun things about this hobby is seeing how different the same sculpt can look. So I think your friend is being a little silly. Presumably you wouldn't be choosing a wig, eyes and clothes exactly like hers, right?
    20. I've not had this come up with dolls but in other aspects of my life. I won't stand for it. If I want it, I want it and no amount of moping or whining is going to change that. My friend can get over it or get under it.