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"You Have A Problem" - Friends Who Think Your Hobby Is Wank

Sep 30, 2009

    1. Edit: Rather than attempting to seem whiny about a particular incident that happened to me recently, I want this thread to be more of a "How do you deal with the negative response your friends and family give to your hobby?" Sorry for bringing my personal financial habits into this. ^^;;Try to keep discussion focused around the negative responses, and not necessarily whether my (or anyone else's) spending habits are healthy.

      Do your friends, your family members, or your significant others have trouble understanding why you would spend hundreds of dollars on resin dolls? How do you deal with people's negative comments, especially when those people are actually close to you? Do you find yourself discouraged by people whose opinions you value and whose advice you're used to taking?

      I just bought a beautiful MNM head off the Marketplace here, and showed it to a friend because I've been keeping her updated on my newest (and most expensive hobby). She gave me this weird look and asked me how much I had paid for it. When I told her, she said, "You have a problem." It's the same tone she uses when I talk about World of Warcraft, or smoking. Is collecting dolls becoming something akin to a destructive habit?

      Do we have a problem merely because we spend money on things we enjoy, that make us happy?
       
    2. I dont think it is, as long as you keep track of your spending.

      If you continue to get flake about it from people, point out there hobbies. Games, game consols, cars, designer clothes and accessories. All are really expensive and people dont seem to bat an eye about those things, even though they spend a ton on something that will be out of date, or not fashionable in a month or two.

      My mom gives me trouble every so often, but she is a smoker. She wastes 300 bucks a month on something that could kill her, or people around her. I point out how much she spends on that, and on her purses. It makes her be quiet really fast. XD
       
    3. Absolutely not! :) It can easily seem that way to some people who don't understand, and that says it all - they don't understand. It's like saying because someone has 4 designer handbags and only use one at a time or 2 classical cars when they only drive one at a time they have a problem, really, it's not a problem and it shouldn't be anyone else's business but your own. ;)
       
    4. It's worse when you get that from other doll people .____.

      A couple of my friends irl (with dolls!) are like 'Another one?!' or set on calling me rich (and I'm not, I just spend most of my money on my dolls as opposed to video games or clothes), and it's kind of gotten to the point where I don't even want to tell them when I've ordered another doll because they always get kind of weird when I tell them.
      Le sigh.
       
    5. I think that when my friends and family tell me I have a problem, they're usually right to some degree. When my boyfriend laughs and says "How many dolls do you need? You have HOW many now?" it's a good indicator that things might be getting a bit out of hand (I decided that I wasn't getting any more dolls unless I sold some after he said that, because he had a point, I've got quite a few now).

      That statement actually concerns me. You DON'T have to "snatch it up," especially if you can't afford it -- and if you're still paying off your first doll it doesn't sound like you can afford it right now. Sometimes we can't get what we want when we want it, and sometimes that means we miss out on things, but IMO my financial stability is a lot more important than ANY doll, even a perfect, amazing one.

      If people whose advice you normally trust and value are concerned I'd encourage you to listen to what they're saying, rather than consulting DOA. We all enjoy dolls here, so of COURSE we're going to err on the side of "dolls are good". It can be a bit of an echo chamber. If the people who care about you are concerned about your finances there may well be a reason.
       
    6. I feel that way right now, Savaille. Like, I don't want to tell her about my dolls anymore, because she'll give me that look.

      I suppose I need to be patient. It's a new hobby for me and I can't expect everyone to understand right away.
       
    7. It's hard for me because I don't know anyone who understands the whole me spending hundreds on dolls thing. My mom is somewhat supportive, but I don't have any peers that get it.
      A friend is obsessive over calling me rich when I'm really not... like was said before, I just spend most of my money on dolls. I really wish I had at least one 'doll friend' that would get it...
       
    8. Luckily my best friend is also investing in BJDs so she understands. My brother might tease me abit, but I tease him back about his gaming toys so it's all in good natured. I haven't told my mother the cost yet but she won't be too shocked, my old hobbies weren't cheap either so she's kind of used to it. In regards to two dolls being a sign or not, I agree with previous sentiments of it depending on your situation. If you're about to spend your rent money on a second doll then yes, it's a problem. If you realize you can afford it and took the time to think on the decision I don't see any issues. I just got my first BJD the other day finally and I've got my second just paid off but I was able to do so with some planning and hard work on mine and my best friends part.
       
    9. I do have friends who think it's weird how I can even consider spending money on "those pretty, but useless dolls things" but I'm rather using their doubt to fuel my incentive to better my skills on face-ups, sewing, sculpting and the like. There's not much they can say when I tell them it's an artistic investment, with a potential to be a self-paying hobby to boot. xD
       
    10. I had three friends who thought I had no life for collecting dolls because I was older then 5 collecting dolls....I don't talk to them anymore for the constant insults I got.

      Other then those...Ehem...Asses all my friends support my doll collecting and are perfectly fine with it,they even collect and or saving up for bjds too :]
       
    11. Spending on dolls (or anything for that matter) only really becomes a problem when it ends up coming before your other responsibilities.

      Two dolls are really not that many. If this is a hobby that you love and enjoy, go ahead and do that. Others have things they enjoy doing that also cost a good bit of money and most of them probably don't think that they're spending habits are wrong if they are more conventional.
       
    12. Maybe I'm just too old to care but the number of threads here involving what other people think or say about your dolls kind of gets to me. I mean, what business is it of anybody else? If your bills are paid & you have food to eat, it's simply no one else's concern about how you spend your money.

      And good grief, if your friends are on your back about your hobby, well, I just don't get that. While my closest friends are doll collectors too, my other friends & neighbors aren't & have the good sense to never say anything about my dolls to me unless it's to comment on a particularly nice outfit or something similar.

      Like I said, I guess I'm just too old but really, why should your friends be all over you because of what type of hobby you have?
       
    13. My best friend is probably getting creeped out with all the dolls I like and have been showing her. :[

      She thinks all of BJD-dom is creepy. T^T

      And my parents are totally against it. :\
       
    14. You might actually have a problem if you're spending a lot of money that you don't have.
      Her concern probably didn't come from the hobby itself, but from you buying another doll before you paid off the first one.
      But, if you're not actually in debt than it's not her problem.
      Why should there be a social stigma in spending hundreds on dolls but not on spending hundreds on a PS3, X-Box 360, flat screen TVs and the like?
       
    15. My friends are really regular in it. some finds it too much money for just a doll and other friends are collecting it to:D My parents find it okey as long as I don't come in problem and too much dolls is also not aloudXD but what is to much? And I agree on the thing that every hobby is expensive or like playstation, games etc....
       
    16. i've gotten bad reactions from my mom. i showed up with one at her house one day that wasn't even mine and got into a heated argument about them and how that "the only people that collect dolls are people that haven't grown up yet." :x

      she banned my little sister from getting one and said that people would make fun of her if she got a doll. (she's just turned 12!) she still shows interest and i plan on getting her a pukipuki for xmas. i think my mom can handle that because they're so little... hopeful. whatever. she will get over it... and im buying for my sis, not her...
       
    17. I think it's really sweet you are giving your little sister one for xmas, I hope all goes well :P
       
    18. A couple of my friends think I'm crazy just for liking BJD's, imagine what they'll think when I finally get one. :aheartbea
       
    19. Of course buying BJDs isn't a sign of a "problem"... I would be concerned that anyone would take someone else's words so to heart like that! It's your hobby. YOUR hobby.

      When someone is unable to manage their finances and puts their hobby before other things: dependants, food, bills, then that would perhaps be cause for concern... but otherwise what on earth would the "problem" be? *_*

      A great deal of my friends don't exactly embrace my doll hobby, but simply because it's not for them. They don't like dolls very much. That's fine. I don't bother them with it, and we talk about things we both enjoy instead :) They can see I enjoy it, and they can see that I can manage my finances. That's all.
       
    20. If I spent $150 going to a concert with a friend, my father wouldn't bat an eyelash. If I spent $150 on a pair of shoes, he would yowl at me for three weeks about being irresponsible. This makes no sense to me whatsoever, since one is a useful article and the other is an experience lasting only a few hours, but it's how he is and how he thinks. (Granted, I don't spend that kind of money on -either- of those things, I just set it aside for doll stuff.)

      People don't value things the same way. It's just how it is. Some people won't see the value in a doll, or in an experience, or a pair of shoes, or whatever in the same way you do. Odds are, there's something they spend on that baffles you to blazes, too. ;)