A Tiny Concern about Tiny Cliques

I like that this has been acknowledged I hope no one feels left out ~xoxo

 

Forums like DoA are a great place to share a common interest in dolls and enjoy a sense of community, and I don't think there's any type of conspiracy to ignore anyone's posts. It's simply that this board is HUUUUUGE! And one could easily spend every waking hour just reading it's contents. Posting takes even more time, even if you mainly follow only a few threads here such as the ones for Fairland's Pukipukis. Moderator Sher has dilligently closed and restarted Pukipuki threads when the post count has reached epic proportions. But even the current thread is really massive, and it's really difficult to stay on top of, so currently I mostly scan through it, rarely commenting. All of that said, I try to think of it as coming into a party already in progress and approaching groups of folks in active conversation. I listen for awhile, comment if I feel I have something to add and if no one responds, I try again later, or just move onto another thread. Yes it is always nice to receive positive feedback from a post you've made, but I just don't base my state of happiness on it. JMHO (Just my humble opinion folks.)

Juli DC

 

I feel like you've summed up my feelings on this issue exactly. Sometimes there's just nothing to say, either because others have already said it or because you really have nothing to say. I very rarely if ever see an actual question post go unanswered, it's more the photo posts that sometimes get no comments. Even my photos sometimes get no comments! When that happens I don't feel like I'm ignored, I feel like I need to take more interesting photos! Nobody else knows and loves my dolls like I do, so if I post a mediocre picture of them that only a mother (me!) would be interested in, I can hardly complain that nobody has anything to say about it. So I try to take pretty photos, and only post the best ones, and do interesting poses or effects. I find that the more effort I put into setting up a shot and getting that perfect picture, the more of a response I get.

I don't think anybody on DOA in any thread deliberately sets out to ignore another member. When I first join a new thread I try to interact with others for a while before expecting them to interact with me. And if nobody is responding to my overtures of friendliness, then I look to myself as to why. Am I asking questions that have already been answered and could easily be found by using the search function? Am I repeating things others have said without adding anything to the thread? These are little things that can lead to a person being overlooked in the general flow of things because nobody feels like responding.

Lastly, while I'm very sorry that anybody has been feeling excluded and shunned by any thread, I also think it's important to consider the people in these so-called "cliques". Dolls are a hobby for all of us, and I'm sure most of us have less time than we'd like to spend on our hobby. It's unfair to expect or demand others' time in commenting your photos or responding to you if they don't feel moved to do so.

 

I agree with this gracie.

During the day when I am at work and skimming the board, I cannot see all the pictures. The network filters/blocks photobucket so those pics show up as red x's when I read the board. I try to comment on the ones I can see but sometimes I forget to go back and look for the ones I missed during the day.

On the flip side of the clique idea, in one thread lately there have been situations where someone new to the thread will post a question and a couple members will answer, but then the original poster will only acknowledge the answer from a board friend. Then the next time they ask a question, they pose it directly to one specific person and if anyone else answers they again do not acknowledge it.

 

I totally agree with acexkeikai, julidc, prettybird, gracie - this post really bothered me. I had no idea that we were required to comment on peoples' posts and I find that terribly off-putting. I have quit posting as much lately because I don't want to have to go through pages of posts to comment on those that haven't received comments, and frankly, I just can't keep up. I have had lots posts have been ignored (I fondly refer to myself as a "threadkiller"), but I have never let it bother me; I just assumed that no one had anything to say, but that doesn't mean they didn't enjoy my photos or my post. I have also had lots of posts commented on and because of the these are quickly growing threads, I've probably missed some responses. I have had nothing but pleasant experiences in the Lati Yellow and Pukifee forums; perhaps there are other things going on elsewhere but I find this post disturbing.

 

I pretty much agree with everyone here. I have found myself lurking more often lately just because I can't keep up. I do my best to comment on or answer questions from everyone. I have occasionally seen and experienced the clique-y happenings, but I try to not let it bother me. This was good to put out there Sher, and we will all do our best to be as open and friendly to every person possible.

 

I lurk more in this section because the tinies I do own I can never find wigs for my Elf Doll fairies when I ask......may have to get rid of them eventually since I really don't do anything with them any more....now that is truly sad.

 

I hope this isn't directed at me, if it is, then I'm sorry! I didn't mean *you* were demanding we post to everything. That's definitely not what you said at all. I only meant that I feel like we're all as friendly as can be, nobody as far as I know is being deliberately cliquey or snobbish, and it's unfair for other users to expect responses as their right. Definitely didn't mean to put words in your mouth though, I hope I didn't come off that way.

 

Sher relax! I don't recall anyone saying that you said it's required. It's just people are confused now...and we're sharing our feelings...it does NOT reflect on you. Maybe some people felt accused...I don't know. What would people like to change here to make this subsection a happier place?

 

sher - When I read you original post, I was so happy that finally someone mentioned this topic in an appropriate way. Thanks for doing this. I know how hard it can be to be the first to jump into such a topic and try to explain everyting in one eloquent post. Sometimes it's good to be reminded to adjust ones behaviour a little bit. Even if we are not deliberately doing something wrong, it is good to have it in the back of ones mind to treat others like we would like to be treated ourselves.
I don't know if I am able to make myself understandable (language barrier... ^^).
Since you posted this topic, it's always (positively !) in the back of my mind when I visit DoA and I try to behave accordingly.

 

I've noticed this happening on a couple of threads as well, and I think the thing about it that bothers people is that this board IS so friendly. There's a general atmosphere of "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all," so when your picture or post goes unnoticed it can feel like you've done something really...offensive? I don't post very often because I don't usually have new questions or fascinating pictures. My dolls aren't fantasy characters or spectacularly unique, so I don't feel like sharing them would be interesting to anyone else. Not that there's anything wrong with normal kid-looking tinies, I just feel like I've brought jell-o to the fancy banquet. I'm just glad there's no tracker for views vs responses on individual posts like there is for whole threads. 400 views and one post is its own kind of bummer!

 

I think that is rather the point, it is not necessary to comment on a picture that 20 others have commented on, but to try to comment or answer the pictures or questions that are being ignored. I know at least one thread that is just terrible in this way, but I think part of it is that it just moves to fast - and it gets difficult to stay on top. And then it is easier to just comment on the people you know.

I try to answer questions I know the answer to, and I comment on the latest pictures in a thread. I don't have it in my to comment everyone since my last post, luckily there are always others who do in my fave thread