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Am I really part of the hobby anymore?

Dec 6, 2020

    1. If that ain't the biggest truth.
      That's exactly how I felt too when after a long time I finally sat down to buy a doll again, got it home and then realized "oh god, now I have to buy all the other stuff too..." :horror:
       
      • x 3
    2. There are times when I'm so into a hobby that all at once I've had too much of it, and then wonder if I'm done with it. But usually just taking a break helps. The waiting definitely sucks but I try to keep myself distracted with other projects.

      It's okay to not be as active in something as you used to be. Take a break, try something new/different, and try not to worry about it. I once took a ten year hiatus with the bjd hobby, but I'm back now!
       
      • x 1
    3. I took a long hiatus for about 4-6 years. I would recommend taking one and then try coming back. If it still doesn't spark any joy, then you might've really grown out of it. There's nothing wrong with that. As you get older, you start to really prioritize on long term milestones like getting a car or a house.
       
      • x 2
    4. @vvnem , you are still in the hobby, you are just exhausted by it.

      I have been feeling the same way. Too many dolls without face-ups, or the right clothes. Too much internet surfing to find shoes I cannot make, then wondering if the doll will stay anyway.

      I have been cutting back on spending by making the clothes and sandals my BJDs 'need' using old clothes or fabric I have bought years ago or by repurposing materials, but I haven't been sewing for them for at least a month and it is bothering me.

      I am starting to think that I have too many BJDs. At the same time, my dolls are so diverse, I am uncapable of making a choice. My most beautiful girls are the ones that are the worst at posing. It gets to me.

      The waiting times are trying as well. I have been selling stuff/BJD parts slowly to give me more space and to cover the cost of a new girl. She will arrive in 2 to 4 months' time. Just the possibility that I won't like her aggravates me, as it would mean that I'd have to put her on the market place and wait...

      I am at a point where I consider selling some of the BJD clothes I bought when I first entered the hobby because they take space and some are barely used. I am not naturally a seller, but I find more excitement in packing used stuff off to someone than poring over an outfit I want to make at the moment.

      Uh...I probably need a break. :lol:
      .
       
      #24 Lilla, Dec 8, 2020
      Last edited: Dec 9, 2020
      • x 3
    5. Like a lot of others here, I left the hobby for several years for many of the same reasons (toxic community, constant focus on acquisition and spending), and I lost a lot of love for the parts of the hobby I enjoy. I also was a big name in the recast community (some of you probably know that account and/or knew me as a mod of the huge fb group), and I was so burnt out. It killed the joy for me.
      Then I randomly picked sewing back up and had this sudden urge to sew for my dolls. I bought myself a second hand minifee, have painted her and sewn for her. I just finished a layaway on a doll from a company I've wanted since I got into the hobby but never got because I wanted to be popular online....and this company just isn't!

      I also realized I love dolls in general. So, I've branched out and begun recollecting American girl dolls I had as a kid (I've thrifted three of them from local charity shops!), ginny dolls, etc, and the occasional cute mass market doll.

      I've also begun repairing antique and vintage dolls, and people have started bringing me their heirlooms to spruce up. I've got some incredibly neat old dolls now like an old chatty Kathy that hang out with my bjds.

      I may not have the time to dress my resin gang up and take photos like I enjoy all the time, but I'm happy they are still with me.

      you'll find your groove. Love your dolls. That's enough to be in the hobby for me.
       
      • x 3
    6. Thank you all for the replies! I guess I am still apart of the hobby but perhaps not part of the community (?) if that makes any sense.

      I got off social media for dolls back in January (due to the hobby and my personal life) and only recently got back on Insta (not for dolls). I guess a break is nice. I do adore my dolls, I have always loved dolls. I guess I don't feel as bad considering my money isn't going to buying/selling dolls or buying/making clothing.

      Hiatus is a nice way to put it.
       
      • x 4
    7. I will never understand why or how that particular phrase caught so much traction. Nobody else says "I'm in the hobby," in municipal reference to their own interests, not goths, not lolitas, nor any other type of collector. Or maybe I'm just out of the loop and they do but I've never heard anyone else use that phrase besides someone who collects bjd's. It's almost cultish in nature to say it, as if to imply belonging to a club or something private. For that reason, I have always associated that saying with being apart of this community and not the actual affinity for dolls. So at face value? Maybe you aren't, but ask yourself these questions too. Are you still an artist if nobody has seen your work? Yes. An artist in complete obscurity maybe, but yes. Is collecting something you love defined by way of another person's company? No. And if you never did anything with your dolls again, would they stop being dolls? No.

      For many people, being in this community is just one aspect of doll hobby. For some though, that's not an aspect at all, and it doesn't make them any less of a doll collector, artist, hobbyist, what have you, than any other. So to answer your question in the simplest context, yes. Your hobby with dolls is yours to enjoy whether you do anything else, or not. Whether anyone sees it, or not.

      All right, jumping off the soapbox.
       
      • x 9
    8. If you still love and own some BJD's then you are still part of the hobby. I think some people get confused and think if they aren't actively a part of the ONLINE community or if they haven't purchased any new dolls recently that means that aren't part of the hobby anymore but many people were engaged in doll collecting years before the internet (social media, forums etc) existed and would still have been regarded as a doll collector/hobbyist. I think some people put too much emphasis on the social media interaction side of things but it's for you to decide whether you want to share your interests with similar like minded people or just keep things to yourself. You don't have to keep buying dolls to be in the hobby either or visit doll shows. It's not unusual for some people to take a hiatus (especially if they have other hobbies and commitments) only to return to their dolls later on reinvigorated.
       
      • x 3
    9. I think a lot of people already said what I wanted to say. But yeah, taking a hiatus from this hobby is certainly not uncommon and pruning the different media outlets/BJD groups/individuals you might have associated with before is probably more of a good thing than a bad thing. This hobby is interesting compared to my other hobbies, but I think with any of my hobbies (doll/toy/collectibles, stamps, books, anime/manga, video games, lifestyle like lolita or history bounding, etc) I go by these kind of pseudo unspoken rules:
      • If you like it, participate in it. If you don't like it, don't participate in it.
      • If you have the funds to make a purchase and it isn't a financial burden, do it. Otherwise, save enough to be comfortable and then use your fun money to invest in whatever item/experience that goes with the hobby.
      • Find people in the hobby that bring out that joy you associate with the hobby. Like any good friend, over time it just gets better hanging out or communicating with them online or following them on other social media outlets.
      • If you find there are people/individuals that make you or others close to you uncomfortable, distance yourself from those people/individuals that make you/others uncomfortable. Sometimes the healthiest thing for you to do is cut people/individuals out of your life and it's okay.
      • Take breaks from your hobbies when you need to. You can always pick them up, dust them off, and play with them later.
      • Share your hobbies with those in your family and closest friends. If they get it and support it, great. If not, that's still okay. They might have hobbies too that you are not interested in either so that's fine.
      • If you want to leave the hobby entirely, that's fine too. Sometimes selling off items related to one's hobby or giving them away to others that would still enjoy it helps one figure out if leaving the hobby was the right choice or not. Either way, getting a little money back from selling stuff off or bringing someone joy by giving them an item they normally would never has access to is its own reward.
      • It's not uncommon for a hobby to be rekindled years later. So even if you decide to leave entirely, sometimes coming back to it after different life milestones (graduating from school, getting a job or two, getting married, having kids, buying a house, death in the family, surviving a cancer, whatever) puts the hobby into a different perspective. Maybe in the beginning it was the "Gotta Catch 'em All" kind of mentality but later on it is more just finding the beauty of what you have or simply investing in that one grail doll you always wanted or giving a doll to a loved one that might think it's cool. Whatever it is that rekindles it, it changes every time.
      But yeah, like what a lot of others have said, I've gone anywhere from weeks to years totally not touching my dolls and not doing anything dolly related really at any given moment as I have other things I prioritize in my life. Same with my other hobbies. Some hobbies, I got burnt out with (because of a toxic experience, the expenses involved, or lack of access to things to help maintain that hobby), whereas other hobbies I'm still very much into and would rather invest more time and funding into at the moment than others. Just pick what makes you happiest at the moment and go with it. The other stuff can wait until it's their turn to make you happy. :kitty2
       
      • x 3
    10. (I tried to quote the initial post but it did not take for whatever reason. But, to give this response context it is a response to the individual who started this thread).

      I do not perceive this as a hiccup. I see this as becoming more mature by (a) overcoming addiction and (b) taking a step back from negativity. Life does not need to be all about dolls in order to be a part of a hobby. A hobby is something that should ideally enrich one's life not limit it to that one activity.

      I echo this. I have not been on Den of Angels for quite some time and it truly shocks me how much "discussion" is "look at my new dolls" or "where are new dolls" or "dream up new dolls." It is exhausting. Being able to enjoy what one has rather than mourn what one does not have is key to being happy not only as a "collector" but also as a human being, in my opinion.

      The one piece of advice I would give is enjoy the moment. Dolls wait for us. There is no rush to finish that face-up or complete that outfit or get that wig. It will happen. And, in the meantime, the dolls are still beautiful. Within that journey to completion lies many stages of beautiful to be enjoyed. There will come a day when all those projects are completed and there will be a desire to create new projects.

      My take on it is that all those projects are what keep people in this hobby, so to speak, whether it be getting a wig or doing a photo shoot. Because once the projects are all done, what is left? Just a pretty object that evokes memories of all those projects. Personally, I always try to have something "unfinished" in my collection even if it is only a doll waiting to have its clothing to be changed or a doll that has not been photographed in a long time. It keeps me involved with my collection even if I am not active online.
       
      • x 3
    11. I think everyone can burn out on something they love regardless of what that is, like so many of the posters here. A hobby is something you do for fun and there is so much more to the hobby then purchasing shinies. At the end of the day you should choose how you want to to participate and what you want from it.

      I try to pay no heed to the gatekeepers they aren't paying my bills or buying my dolls. Please remember it's your hobby and your choices that matter here including ones related to breaks from said hobby. :)
       
    12. Of course you're part of the hobby (unless you yourself don't identify so) <3
      Corrently, I don't do anything with my dolls either. I can sew and yet half of my dolls sit only partly dressed up. Faceups? Two dolls have been waiting for one for abouta year now... or so. I don't go outdoors for photos (even though I love/d taking my dolls out to parks and places).
      But I know I will come back to it ;) It's just that now for the past year I've been working on finishing my thesis and I will be working intensely on it for the next several months at least (the writing, research and then preparing for the final exams (langugage, minor and major field of study interest and only then the defence). So, practically, all my evenings and weekends I am spending on this. My partner is neglected just as my dolls are, it's part of life, sorry. No dates, weekends away, etc. because my time is running.
      And what am I doing here you may ask? I just woke up and I am warming up for thesis writing ;)
      Oh, and the not-buy/low-buy tendency has been more an more popular. The reality now is uncertain as the world's becoming more and more communist. I fear for my and my family's safety and I don't want to either overspend or ground myself by hoarding dolls. So yeah, when I see all the threads of "whatcha savin up for", "how much do you spend", "what did you buy" etc and I'm like... triple "nothing" I also ask myself: am I still a part? Well... dolls are the first odd thing people entering my room notice, so yeah, I think I am ;)
      Don't worry so much about the labels, but just getting your life together if the situation requires it. If it's meant to be so, you will come back to dolls one day more intensely. And if anything, you don't have to constantly buy more stuff and spend 24/7 to be a part of the hobby. Only yesterday did I read someone's comment that they keep their dolls in boxes and only take them out to play. To me it was weird, but, hey, they're having fun doing so, so why not? Everyone plays with BJDs in their own way and it's fine ;)
       
      • x 3
    13. I think you are in the hobby. I don't even think you need to own a doll to be in. You might just be able to admire them and want to discuss, or just have them as shelf sitters but follow some trends for doll style, for example. You can take a break for as long as you like, or just have them for display. They're yours and you can do as you please. Some even sell off all that they own, and never come back, others will just disappear and come back years later. To me, I don't see any reason to put much money into them if you don't want to do it, or can't. It's mostly about collecting, which usually does take some, but lots of folks get a few and then just make things from old clothes or re-purpose materials that might otherwise go in the trash bin.

      There's different ways to participate, or not. I think of myself more of a collector, even though I do like to 'play' with all of my different types of dolls. When I take a break from BJDs, I don't take a break from dolls, I might just do more or focus more on other dolls. Sometimes, I'll get into reading a book series and that will take a lot of free time. There have been a couple periods of time where I had to shift focus to serious life issues, and didn't really do much with any doll. They did still have a visible place to stay, so then I could still enjoy seeing them. I might occasionally shift their order on the shelf, or put a different set of clothes on one.

      My friends are all from the doll hobby. Without the hobby, I would have friendly people I know from work, but zero friends. Nearly all the ones I had in my school days all changed their values and priorities so much, I have nearly nothing in common with them anymore. I also moved away from my home town right after high school, along with about half or more of my classmates. I keep in contact with one friend from college, but it's mostly by chance since she's also a doll collector. I used to have a friend that was also my neighbor, but once I moved away, we lost contact and I think she's even left the country by now. On social media, I tend to not get too chummy with strangers on a personal level. You just never know what they might do at any time since talking to someone online vs knowing them in person is often very different. I've had a few younger people on social media sites seek some advice about life issues, but other than that, it's really all about hobby things.

      If I had more outside my work, family and hobby, then I'd probably not put as much of my time into doll stuff. It's an easy way to spend my time that doesn't cause me much stress. When it does, it's more like.... shipping updates, or finding some supply or material to complete a related project. Those are very minor things, and if that's the most worry I ever had, I would consider myself incredibly fortunate.

      As far as toxic stuff on social media.... yeah..... I knew this would happen years ago when computers started to be sold at Wal-Mart. It used to be only people that really put in extra effort to be tech literate that were on the internet, so it was a fun way to connect with others that likely had similar interests. Now, everyone and their grandma has an internet presence and the old style of net etiquette is nearly forgotten and gone. Except.... on niche forums such as this one. I see some good things on my social media, but one does have to be very careful to curate what's on their feed and what is not. So, you can use it, but I'd suggest only going with those that stick to a topic of interest and use good manners.

      I hope you feel re-assured that you are still in the hobby, and realize that however you want to enjoy it, participate or not is all okay!
       
      • x 4
    14. It's normal to be interested in multiple things, and to be currently prioritizing something else over dolls. I spent the last eight months frantically trying to complete my goal to get my massive cross stitch project done by the end of 2020, and while I continued to purchase dolls, I definitely did not complete any of the clothing projects I was originally planning on. This was partially caused by mom taking over the crafting table to lay out materials for mass producing cloth masks, which forced me to come up with different goals. Now that that's done, I'm taking a break to draw up clothing ideas before jumping back into making clothes.
       
      • x 2
    15. I agree completely with @Cyclothymia. I even find that “to be in the hobby” weird. Maybe it’s because I am comparing it to playing tennis, golf or chess or whatever like this. I think that is up to you, if you consider yourself part of this hobby, you are.

      I myself took a year break because life happened. I was asking myself too if it’s the end but apparently it was not and I got interested again. There is no right way. But I sometimes too feel like one must be active and post tons of pictures to “be” there. :huh?:
       
      • x 1
    16. This is exactly how I feel about it. I’ve been in this hobby for nearly 15 years now. I’ve amassed a wonderful collection (slowly over time) and Den of Angels is my only doll-related social media. I’ve checked in here every day since I first began, and continue to have a lot of fun doing so (the mods do an excellent job of protecting us from toxicity so I simply don’t feel the need to go elsewhere.) This is my “happy place” and the way I enjoy the hobby. But even if you don’t own a doll and just love researching, window shopping, thinking about BJDs and talking about them on occasion, you’re still part of the hobby as far as I’m concerned, whether you own a doll or have one stashed away in a closet unfinished. There are just so many ways to enjoy this hobby...the timing, activity and participation are totally up to you.
       
      #36 PoeticSoul, Jan 27, 2021
      Last edited: Jan 27, 2021
      • x 4
    17. I definitely think that you are still "in the hobby", and I also think it's perfectly normal to have your ups and downs in terms of your interest in and commitment to any hobby. Life happens; I have gone through months of barely looking at my dolls, followed by periods where I spend all my time on them. I also barely engage with the community at all, simply because I am very shy and awkward, but I still consider myself a part of the hobby.

      Don't worry about it, there is nothing wrong with taking some time to explore your other interests. Your dolls will still be there if/when you decide you want to start spending more time/money on them again, so for now, just enjoy looking at them! :)
       
      • x 2
    18. Its nice to not feel alone. I had no idea so many bjd owners felt this way!
      I don't connect with very many doll people.
      I started the hobby with other people and now we don't talk as much.

      A number of my dolls are simply collecting dust at the moment. I bought a head second hand and I am genuinely looking forward to giving her a face for the first time in a long time.

      Thanks for expressing yourself and making this thread. It was Cathartic for me.
       
    19. I have same problem with doll clothes
      I brought too much and they end up just sitting around
      Then I lost interest in buying more even if I found they are real pretty
       
    20. .
       
      #40 Agnes-Agatha, Feb 15, 2021
      Last edited: Feb 16, 2021