Asking for a doll as a gift: okay or rude?

I don't think is rude, if people can buy a bjd as gift and chose to give one I think is very sweet.

After all even if you want a bjd people won't buy one if they don't want or can't, they will give you something else you like or want. I don't see anything wrong saying you want one as a gift either, if we can't be open to people close to us what is the point. The same way I would totally be happy to buy someone a bjd I know they love, sadly I still need to convert someone.

 

Umm i don't know if rude but inappropriate for most?i think the only person who it would be ok to ask such a big gift from would be your husband or wife

 

I don't think it's rude. Personally I never had someone buy me a doll I always saved up. I don't think people who are not in the hobby understand the value of the doll so they wouldn't want to spend $500.00 on one.

 

Rude isn't the word of use. Selfish maybe because they cost so much but then again it depends to me who's giving it to you. For example I wouldn't ask my sister or brother for a doll. For one they have a crap ton of responsibilities to take care of a doll just cost too much. However my boyfriend I'd ask. For one he's already trying to buy me a $500 LED Phoenix mood hoop. The doll o want isn't even that much so of the two I feel if I decided to ask why not? He's trying to do it anyway. My dad I'd ask but then again he's my dad. He's done things like bug me a $250 laptop just because he knee I wanted one and couldn't afford it at the time. So rude I don't think is the Right words but perhaps it could be considered as such but to me it depends on who you are asking. Like I'd never ask one of my friends to buy me a doll.

 

I think it's a little unrealistic in my family, at least with BJDs! My family often gets me play-line dolls for my birthday or during the holidays. Some times my dad will find a doll I might like on clearance and pick it up as a surprise gift. When it comes to my resin dolls, if I'm going to buy one around my birthday or a holiday I'll just ask for cash instead of presents, that way I can put it toward whatever resin I'm saving up for and get it a bit earlier than planned.

My family has come to realize that even with play-line I am VERY picky about quality and factory errors, so they prefer to give me money instead of ruining the surprise by sending me pictures while they shop to make sure I won't return anything. It works out for both of us, because I get an expensive doll that I want much more than anything I can buy myself on a regular day and they don't have to see me inspecting every doll like a perfectionist monster ever Christmas morning.

These days, however, I've been funding my own doll hobby since I have a job, and I tend to ask for more practical things like clothes and shoes. How fun it is to be an adult.

 

It's not rude. First of all, it's not like you would ask a friend or stranger for such an extravagant gift. A parent, significant other, or child for the older members of the community, maybe a sibling, would be the only people most of us would feel it is appropriate to ask. Second of all, people who are saying it is rude clearly don't understand what the word "no" means. Just because you ask for something, doesn't mean you will get it. You're all talking about how expensive they are and not wanting to make a family member pay that much. Well, if they don't want to pay that much, than they simply won't! But if they do, good for you! Don't shame people just because you worked hard for your money and they got their dolls as gifts. It doesn't do any of us in the community well to be a bunch of salty sallies.

 

It's not any ruder than asking for any gift in general I think.
Of course though, the price plays a role there, too, and asking for an expensive gift from someone like an acquaintance would be too much.
If however the person is prepared to spend a certain amount anyway, why not.
I think in general it's not a bad idea to tell another person what you want, because a lot of the time, they might not really know what would make you happy (no offense, even knowing my boyfriend very well I'm not always sure what he might want, simply cause he usually already gets whatever he wants himself!)

 

I wouldn't ask for any kind of expensive gift, for fear that the person would then feel pressured to spend more on a gift for me than they had planned. And then if they can't get such an expensive gift, they would feel bad for giving anything less. It puts a lot of pressure on the giver.
However if the giver asked what I wanted and I knew they planned to spend that much money, I would suggest a doll. My frends and family usually spend less than $50 for gifts, so I would never expect a doll.

 

I don't think its rude to ask for such a gift as long as its a genuine thing. The only way it can be rude is to ask for it and if its not received causing and argument or some kind of hard feelings over it.

 

I think it would be fine to ask for such a gift from a parent, especially on a special occasion such as Christmas or a birthday. That would be with the caveate of your parents being in the position of being able to afford such a gift. Same thing with a husband, depending on both of your financial circumstances. Spending on such a thing as a doll when your single mother is just barely able to raise you and siblings or if you and your husband are yourselves barely able raise and educate your own children, is just not a good idea. However, asking at times is a good idea because parents and grandparents (and aunts and uncles) give cash out of desperation unless they know you are saving something big like a car or college, they would rather delight you with a real thing that you will enjoy.

If you are surprised with such a gift, regardless, be humbly grateful that someone thought of you.

Asking someone other than a parent, grandparent or spouse is different depending on the situation. I probably would not do that.

Six years have passed since the first post on this subject by Linzabeth, I wonder if she has finished college, gone on to work, with her own income to purchase other dolls? Is she still a collector? How does she feel about the gift now? Does the brother have any of his money left, did he invest any of it? Windfalls like that happen seldom, and no one wants to get one for an accident, let me win the lotto instead.

One thing that I have noticed about bjd folks on this site, they are all acutely aware of the price of hobbies, and have the grace to be aware of their good fortune. In other words, they are very nice people.

 

If it is about buying a doll and ask to mark it as a gift than no, it is not rude. If it asking for a doll from someone you barely know so yeah it is rude. Dolls are very expensive and ask from somebody expensive things (except family or friends) is not very polite.

 

if someone asks me how to bribe me, my answer always is "a bjd by (name of an artist) will do". they usually get lost. but i hope i'll get such a bribe one day

 

Uh well, I would never promptly ask someone to gift me a doll (or anything for that matter, no matter how expensive or low cost) like OP did (sorry, I do find that rude). But in my household it is very normal that for birthdays we ask each others what we want to get. So if my mom were to say "hey what do you want for your birthday within this budget?" I would totally ask for a doll if it is within the budget. I've gifted some unusual stuff for birthdays of family because they asked for it.

 

I think if it's someone who would usually/ want to spend that kind of money on you, then that's fine. Otherwise, it's a bit rude.

 

As an aside, I think it's rude to ask for gifts out of the blue. I'd ask someone to buy me something, with the intent to pay them back... Or I'd ask for something if a gift-giving holiday is imminent... Or i'd ask my parents for something if I suddenly needed a new one (Ex. suppose my phone breaks)... but I'd never just out of the blue ask for a gift like OP did (sorry, op! Hope you're still loving your doll, though! I'm with @flyboru , i'm curious about what a follow-up might say.)

HOWEVER, in the case of the OP, I think their family is simply different than what I'm used to. Given the response of the brother (how he was hoping she'd ask for a gift, rather than simply offering to buy her one), I'm going to guess that this wasn't rude within the family to do. So, I'm going to answer this generally, and not at the OP.

I don't think it's rude, but I think it can be a bit selfish/inconsiderate IF it's the only thing you ask for.

Like, if someone asks you, "What do you want for your birthday?" and you say "I want this $500 doll, in this skin, with these options, plus customs and shipping and fees..." I think that could be rude, unless someone specifically requests that sort of answer from you.

I don't think it's rude or inconsiderate to INCLUDE your $500 doll and its options on a wishlist, which has a range of things you want. If someone then chooses, of all those things, to get you the doll? Then no, that's not rude or selfish at all.

However, if the ONLY thing you want is the $500 doll with its options and fees, then I think the most appropriate way to obtain it (using gift options) is simply to explain, "Please don't get me anything, instead, please donate towards my savings for this big thing I want!"

My birthday is in August, and that's how i'm going to approach it. It feels a little weird to tell your friends and family that you take cash, check, and PayPal, but I'd rather have them contribute to my savings than get me something I don't want or need!

Bonus: as another user pointed out on page 1 or 2, asking for a contribution then gives them free-choice of how much they want to give. They don't have to spend more than they want to, or settle for something they know you don't want. They can simply contribute however much they feel is appropriate. IMO, that's quite a considerate option to give them!

 

I don't think it's rude to ask someone for something. It is then their choice as to whether or not they agree to give it. Demanding is a different issue. If you "ask" but are actually demanding an expensive gift then it is rude. My friends and I have had similar discussions to this a lot, mostly concerning if one of us won the lottery. All of us know the expensive hobbies and such of each other so if one of us suddenly came into a lot of money, it's likely we would buy gifts for the others.

Concerning dolls as gifts, when I wanted my first I had only just started working and had saved up a bit of money. For Christmas, I asked for money toward the doll. In previous years, for Christmas and my birthday, my mother had asked me to give her a list of things I wanted (even down to links online where the items could be found). She did this because she doesn't really understand the things I like so it's helpful to her to have specifics. Of course, I never get every single item. She chooses which she can afford or which are feasible. When it came time for the doll, I felt a bit bad but on Christmas day, I got no other presents from my family aside from money toward him. In total, the money came to 2/3 of the price and I paid the last third.

Asking for something doesn't mean you'll automatically get it. If I were to ask for a complete doll, I would likely only ask for a tiny or cheaper one, but that is only my opinion on the matter. Families are different and the rules within families about gift giving vary from culture to culture and family to family so what is normal for one might be rude for another.

 

I'm kinda in the middle on this. I personally would feel a quite a bit uncomfortable with asking, but then again, if you don't ask, you won't receive so...

I'd more so ask for money towards a doll instead of a physical Christmas or birthday gift. That way, they have a choice of how much they get to pay, instead of being intimidated off of it by seeing the giant price tag. And this way, you feel less guilty about the doll, knowing that you yourself also payed towards it a bit. It's a joint effort.

The thing is though, if you were to specifically ask for them to buy you a doll, I think things would get a bit complicated. They aren't going to know exactly what you want, and since its usually a person who is outside of the hobby, they will have no clue about all the different companies, and sizes, and ways to order. So you'd end up having to walk them through the whole purchase - which I think is the most uncomfortable bit, 'cause at that point it feels like you're just doing it yourself, and they taking all their money at the end. It's an amazing thing when it's a surprise. But the longer you talk to the person about the gift, the worse it gets in my opinion.

 

It really depends, I am the type to always work for something that I really want. Growing up, my mother would often offer to pay half of whatever it is that I'm trying to save up for, so I had to earn the other half for myself. Eventually I was able to find a job in where I could pay for everything myself.
Now, asking for a doll would be a little selfish for me. but i do still make ends meet by selling and saving for things that I want without sacrificing the things that I need.
I do mention a lot about my doll hobby, and if whom ever is wanting to gift me something, then they can ask me what I want.

 

i always spend my savings or my bonuses for dolls i want. my family has no idea what i ordered. when my husband sees how happy i am, when i get it or by accident gets to know what i ordered, he always asks permission to compensate it to me in order to make it a present from him. he knows i will be twice as happy "to have it from him" as a result, I never ask, but i always get

 

I just asked my fiancé to buy me one for Christmas or my birthday... I mean I do feel bad, but then again it's so he knows what i want.
I think maybe its not an issue if you do a lower price range, but asking for one thats 500$ and up might be a little rude..