Asking for a doll as a gift: okay or rude?

I think it mostly depends on the situation.
Coming from a family where you work for what you want/need, I could NEVER ask my parents, or family or anyone to just buy me something. Especially not something as expensive as a doll, just a little rude in my opinion.
But on the other hand around Christmas and my birthday, when asked what I like, I generally say that just money is fine, and I'd put it towards my doll fund.
But it really depends on the person you're asking as well I suppose.

 

Hey Linzabeth- just read your update - glad everything worked out for the best! and now you have a super cool present to wait for under the tree.

 

Hmmm.. I don't know. I'd rather have something like a camera as a gift rather than a doll honestly. xD

But really, like the posts before, I do think it depends on the relationship between the giver and the receiver. For example, I'm one of those people that many have trouble finding gifts for so I do end up dropping a lot of hints on things I need / want so they don't have to spend forever on thinking what to get me for birthdays/holidays/etc. And that's normally with people close to me so I know the boundaries of what I can ask for. The others can just surprise me because surprises are a gift too.

So hey, feel happy that you are close enough to your brother to be able to ask him for something like that!

 

Well my mother has a good job and knows I like to get a doll for xmas or bdays and she lets me pick out one and buy it excetra. Its not like she doesnt give me limits though and its my main present. She supports my hobby and knows how happy they make me and so she contributes to that. I would never ask her for a doll without a purpose though only holidays.

 

First off, I'm glad everything worked out for you, Linzabeth. :3

In general, I wouldn't consider it rude to ask for a doll from someone close - I get the guilt, though, even if they're perfectly okay with it. I can't name it, or describe it. The closest, I think, is embarrassment, and then the realization that it's something they could've spent on themselves that I'm taking away. But, if they really are genuinely happy providing it, then I find the guilt lessens, the gratitude remains and the enjoyment and sentimentality (of the gift) doubles. :3

 

I don't think it's rude as long as the request is to your parents or siblings. Or husband I find it really rude to request a doll from your boyfriend, though, or from friends. Clothes, accesories or wigs are a different thing. And, of course, asking should be done calm and politely, not crazy-doll-lady-like (L)

Now, what I usually do is posting a wishlist every time my birthday or christmas are near, so they may choose whatever they want to gift me. For christmas this year in the matter of dollies, I'm going to ask for a puki. I don't think I'll get him, because everyone around me thinks they're too expensive for their size But just in case...

 

I personally wouldn't ask for something as much as a doll for a gift, even for a birthday or Christmas. My family has never had a much money and I prefer to make a small list of things that I want, usually around November, then give it to my mom to pick and choose from. I never ask for anything over $50 because I would rather that my family spends money on things that they need. If I ever asked for a doll, which I do not plan to, and my mother could not afford it, she would feel bad that she couldn't get me something that I wanted and she doesn't need that on her shoulders.

That being said, I don't find it rude if your family/friend/significant other is in the financial situation to be able to afford such a large gift. But show some reservation. I would prefer to ask for a gift in the form of money to put toward my doll.

 

Like some people have already mentioned, context plays a huge part in this. It also kind of depends on the doll, in my opinion. Dolls vary a lot in price to. If someone were offering to buy it for you as a gift to commemorate something, like your graduation, for example, that doesn't seem rude to me.

As for Christmas though, it's not that my family doesn't have a lot of money (far, far from rich or anything, we still have to think carefully before purchases and consider ways to save money and such.) I would say we have enough to live fairly comfortably, not enough that we buy gifts or things for occasions other than Christmas or birthdays. But I haven't ever received anything over 60 or 70 dollars, and I've been totally fine with that. We kind of have a loose definition of Christmas anyway, so sometimes for Christmas I'll ask for my parents to pay for part of something, and then I pay for the other part of it. Or if I were to ask for something this year like...say a doll head, it'd probably count as both my Christmas or birthday present. Other than that though, I don't think I'd spontaneously ask for someone to buy me a doll, but like I said, if someone's in the position to be able to buy you one, it's not necessarily rude, as long as you're tactful.

 

I agree with the general opinion here; context is everything. It depends completely on who, exactly, you are asking to buy this doll for you, whether they've expressed interest before, their monetary situation, etc. As a personal example, my boyfriend is into resin models and Magic the Gathering, so he's no stranger to expensive hobbies. He is not, however, supportive of MY expensive hobby, and thinks my dolls are silly. He would never buy me one, so I would never ask him. My mother, however, is the complete opposite. She has no expensive hobbies, but she has said herself that she loves anything that I love, and makes a great effort to show interest in my dolls. She has been and is very open to the idea of (cheaper)dolls as presents, or going half and half with me on a very expensive doll as a present.

 

Like others have said, it really depends on the situation.

When I first got into the hobby, my family wasn't rich, but we had enough money to spend extra when we wanted to. When you're 13 and used to getting nice gifts on holidays, you don't really think "I'm going to consider my family's financial situation before I ask for an expensive gift!", you just ask for it. I was told that because the doll I wanted was so expensive, I had to choose between that or a birthday party, because they were around the same price. I chose the doll, and I haven't had a party since then :'D (On christmas, my brother and I usually get one 'big' gift and a few 'small' gifts each, so asking for a doll just fits our family norm.)

Over the past few years, though, our situation has changed to where we're living comfortably, but we need to watch what we're spending much more closely. (That, and now that I'm older, I'm actually concerned about our family's financial situation) My mom is used to me asking for dolls/doll related things for holidays now, since it's my main hobby, so it's really just like asking for any other gift to me. I don't ask her with the expectation of getting it, though; we'll usually talk about money limits, and I'll offer to pay for some of it if it's a more expensive doll.

I'd never ask another family member or friend, though, or at a time without a holiday.

 

I think it depends on who you ask, how you ask, the cost, and possibly what you ask it for. I know I probably wouldn't ask for a really expensive doll as a gift, I would just feel too guilty and unless you know they have the money the reaction may be differ. I would perhaps ask for a tiny doll, since they aren't nearly as expensive. It's almost better to ask for a contribution to the doll, instead of an entire doll. For example, "For Christmas I'd just like money if that's all right, since I'm saving up for a doll." I also think it needs to be a big holiday/milestone if it's a more expensive one, since it isn't just a little everyday gift(it would be nice, but I don't know many people who can do that). If I asked my Grandma, she might consider it say for a Graduation gift next year when I graduate highschool, but I would never ask because I know she can't afford it. My Nonna(grandma on the other side) can afford it, but she's frugal, so she would think it was a waste of money. She usually gets me money for holidays anyways, so I wouldn't bother asking. It all just depends.

 

Well, my first boy was bought as a Birthday gift when I was 18, it was when I found a doll I loved who was actually affordable. (and I still have him/love him). About two months after that I bought my 2 DOCs together myself and have been buying my own since then, except for this time.

I did ask my parents for a Puki for Christmas and she has been ordered. ^^ (I bought a few hands and other things for her myself though). They asked if I'd like a bunch of smaller things or one big thing and I said just the Puki. If someone asks/offers, I think it's okay, but I'd never ask anyone for anything outside of their means/comfort zone. It's similar to LexehAnn for me, all I really want for holidays is doll stuff, so it's become normal, instead of other things that I didn't much need anyways. If they had said no, I would have stopped asking, I'd never bug about something like that, it's my hobby and for the most part, I'll spend for it, but a couple things here and there (like my brother got me an MSD carrier for last Christmas) are always nice.

 

I don't know if I could ask for a whole doll for a present. My first doll I brought was made possible thanks to family members contributing money towards my goal than rather giving me gifts

 

I'll also pitch in that I do think age can be a factor here. I'm in my 30s -- I would feel strange asking my parents for a doll that is very costly. I didn't have an issue asking my folks for a $290 computer chair, however, since they commented that mine was falling apart and it was mentioned I should Do Something About That. There are dolls in that price range, so it isn't necessarily the price tag issue that would concern me, but the fact that there's Stuff You Need, and then there's Stuff That Is Frivolous, at least as far as my family is concerned.

Also, if you're very young and not in a position to do the 'go out and get a job and pay for everything yourself' thing, it seems pretty harsh to say 'don't even ask, it's the sum of all evil to do that' -- after all, that's probably how someone who is supported by their family is getting the other things in their lives, not just luxuries, but essentials as well. Again, it depends on one's family finances.

 

I've been in the hobby for a good five years now, and I think this is the first year I've even thought about putting anything doll related on my christmas list....Yes I still make those, sad I know :3 Christmas and Birthdays aside, I wouldn't ever consider asking either of my parents or my boyfriend for that matter, out of the blue if they would buy me a doll or front the money for one. I've always enjoyed the thrill of saving up, ordering a doll I've worked to earn and the exciteable wait that follows. If I do put a doll on my "I would like this for christmas.", it doesn't mean I will have unealistic expectations and sulk like a small child if I don't get one. The list is more like a list of ideas to draw inspiration from, and not necessarily something to take as wrote.

Anything doll related will, 99.99% of the time (with this year being the exception), will be non existant as there's always something far more practical I would much rather have as a christmas present or Birthday present. Socks and a big box of tea for example Or a nice box to keep said socks in because I always end up with lots : D

 

i think if you feel bad about it, then it's not the right thing to do. always go with your conscience. maybe let him know that you feel bad, and that you take it back, and that you care about him. and if he insists, then allow him to give it to you with happiness.

 

Your brother wants to buy you a gift. Knowing that it is something you want very very much will just give him more pleasure in getting it for you.

 

It depends on who you're asking. If you're asking a bunch of friends who aren't doll people, they'll probably resent you if you ask them to pool their (probably badly-needed) funds to get you a doll that's $600. Maybe doll people would understand it, or maybe not.

If it's your parents, then I think it's ok. They can always say 'no', and that's that.

It also has to do with your relationship; how well you know the person you're asking, and vise versa.

 

Something like this has happened to me recently as well but it is with a coworker. He was deciding what to get me for Christmas and knows for a fact the way I have been sacrificing my money and saving it to get my first dollfie. I have also showed him photos and knows how much I squee and get thrilled of getting her.
Here comes the situation, I told him I am pretty much half way to my goal of getting the doll and told him that he can pay for the other half for my Christmas present and he was happy to assist. I was happy but I do feel somewhat guilty for mentioning it especially since he is a close friend of mine. The only problem for me is....how do I pay him back? @_@ Tough decision...