Asking for a doll as a gift: okay or rude?

A couple of years ago, I was in a car accident and ended up getting settlement money that I happily shared with my brother! But then again I'm very close to my brother and I even shared money I got as my wedding gifts with him.
My husband on the other side isn't too close with his siblings and funny enough his brother got into a car accident a couple of month before me (we even had the same lawyer) and he didn't gift my husband or even offer nor did my husband ask him... in fact I gifted him the same amount I gifted my brother.

Like a lot of others mentioned it REALLY depends on how close and comfortable you are with the person gifting you or offering you a gift. I like sharing with my family and I don't feel too guilty asking for gifts when they offer, even if it is expensive because I would o the same for them if I had the means.

 

Just my 2 cent a YID Mars- Iplehouse is a little over 600 after faceup and shipping. greate doll
But ?'s for you
did u ask for the doll only because you bro got 45000?
I guess i would of been more modiest and asked for a bobobie or a aod doll still greate doll's just a little cheaper in the pocket.
But yea it's ok to ask for a little help paying for one i think my family all got in on a 400 dollar limited doll for me well they came up with half.
and i have gotten a few doll's for my girl but she had no clue and dident know but she would never ask for 1 for a gift as we all know that its' a big chunk of change

 

Im just so excited Im bouncing off walls.

Oh How rude of me Congrat's on getting your dollie. your getting him for X-Mas right?

 

I asked my boyfriend to buy me a tiny doll for Christmas, and after much coercing and pouty faces, he assented. I'm getting him a Wii so its only fair!

 

I agree with many that this is not a cut and dry question/answer. A lot of it is dependent on the situation at hand, and obviously no one can completely know what the entire situation between two other individuals would be.

A doll may be an "extravagant gift" simply because they are expensive (in general) and a want, not a need. But in my experience, some people really like giving others "want" items more than "need" items because those "wants" are often more enjoyable to receive or give.

Someone mentioned getting a sofa instead of a doll (I don't remember who, or what the exact context was, sorry). Personally, if I were to give someone a gift, I would prefer it to be something that, every time they look at it, it brings them joy and memories of me and how much I love them. I cannot bring myself to believe that someone, every time they plop on a sofa, would think, "Oh, Lilac loved me enough to get me this sofa and it is such a wonderful thing to have." Yes, the sofa is useful. Yes, the sofa would probably be appreciated. But... it isn't fun, and it isn't particularly special (to me), and it isn't something I would really want to give.

I've received dolls as gifts before. They are always from someone who can afford to and really wants to give them to me. Sometimes I ask for them, sometimes I don't... in every case, I make sure that the gift giver knows very well that I love them very much for even considering it, and that whether I get that doll or not I am happy that they would want to give me something I'd treasure so much. I make sure that they also know that, should they give me a doll, it will indeed be treasured not only as a doll, but as something THEY gave me. I don't consider it a "I love you so much I give you things," but I know that when I give gifts, I like to know that the gift, large or small, will be loved and will remind them that I love them.

TL;DR version: Yeah, they're not needed as a trophy of how much you are loved or anything, but dolls are fun to give/receive because they will be loved and treasured. Make sure to keep it in perspective though, because it's not the size of the gift, it's the importance of the giver. That's my opinion.

 

I personally feel that it's a tad rude to ask for something so expensive, but my parents were thrilled when I first mentioned the idea of them contributing to my doll fund.

I've always been difficult to buy for because I don't feel a "need" for most things. How sad is it? I wouldn't even ask my parents for $20 to buy a bookshelf I needed for my new place because I already had one overly cramped (and tiny) bookshelf. In the end, my boyfriend bought the bookshelf and simply left it so I couldn't refuse it.

My parents are thrilled to have an idea of things to buy for me for my birthday/christmas/etc. because they've never really had anything to go off before, and they said it used to really frustrate them. At that news, I started feeling bad about never telling them anything in particular, as I had just always assumed that asking them for something was rude.

I suppose it really depends upon the situation surrounding the asking.

 

My first doll is actually a gift. I knew there was no way to get her myself. So I hinted at a doll then my dad told me I can have on as long as the cost for EVERYTHING is under 300 dollars, that includes Tax and shipping. So I ran with it and now my girly is on her way to me... I'm not allowed to play with her till christmas but having her in the house will make it all the better

 

For me, I think this all depends on the situation. If you were asking for a bjd from a friend or not a very close relative, I would consider that rude. But, I would say if you are asking for one from your parents or grandparents for a holiday present or birthday present, this would be okay. I think it all really depends on the relationship with the person your asking and the situation that you're in. =]

 

It definitely depends on the situation.

I for one would only ask for a BJD from my husband. I'm not a fan of jewelry, expensive shoes, etc. like most women we know in real life so he actually considers a doll for my combined Christmas/Birthday/Anniversary gift to be a bargain (those three events are all within the same month for me).

My parents have both passed, but I can say I would have had a difficult time asking for a BJD from them... even though my mother used to collect dolls and nutcrackers, herself. I just wouldn't be able to ask them for something this expensive. Same goes for my in-laws, siblings, etc. It's one thing if any of them offer, but I would not actually suggest the idea to them.

 

I think it depends. If you feel the person you are asking is in a comfortable situation, would buy you a gift anyways, and if they want to buy it for you. I think it's no problem to tell them that what you want is a doll.

My puki was a gift from my parents, and because I know she was expensive I expressed that I didn't want them to give me anything else. They asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I sheepishly said "A Doll, and nothing else." But the thing was, they WANTED to get me a doll, because they knew how much I love them. I also let my mom choose which one she liked best and wanted me to have.

I think that it really just depends on several things, and if all parties involved are okay with it, why would it be a problem?

 

I half-jokingly ask for dolls from my brother, best friend, and mom every year for Christmas. If I ever actually got one, that'd be awesome! As it is, I'm the one who buys expensive gifts for everyone. ^_^'

 

If someone offers to buy me a gift, I'm very straightforward.

Person: Hey, I'm gonna buy you a present. What do you want?
Me: How much are you looking to spend?
Person: No more than $400.
Me: Okay, buy me a Pipos Naughty Cheshire Baby.

To me, the above is the right way. They offered to buy me something, I gauged their price range before I even mentioned a doll, and when the price range was easily within what I wanted, I asked for it. No one was offended, everyone was appeased. I know some people aren't that to-the-point about asking for gifts but that's just my personality. People who are close enough to want to buy me a gift know this.

THE WRONG WAY-
Person: Hey, I'm gonna buy you a present. What do you want?
Me: Buy me this doll. It costs $800 and I might die if you don't get it for me.
Person: .......I was hoping to spend $20 or so.....
Me: Oh. Okay. Then go drop it in a charity jar cause I'm FAR TOO AWESOME to have something so cheapy. Pssh.

It all depends on the person and the situation. If they're offering to buy me an expensive gift and they can, why should I feel bad?

 

Hey, me too! (Well, they are within a month of each other ...) Mr. polyhymnia is glad to have guidance on the subject of presents, so when I found my doll, that's how I approached the subject. It's a lot of money, but he was cool with it; and considered as a three-fer, it's not bad.

Asking anybody other than mr. polyhymnia? Couldn't do it. This actually goes for more than dolls, btw.

 

If it's a gift, and the two of you are absolutely clear it IS a gift, then you don't have to pay him back. He is willingly help a friend and co-worker pay for their doll. In some way, it's a good thing, because he doesn't have to wonder what you'd like for Christmas. He doesn't have to guess about if you'll use something or not.

All you need is a nice gift (in your price range) and a thank you card for being a nice friend, and doing this was awesome of him.

This is me, too. I'd prefer a 'want' item, rather than something I needed. It doesn't even have to be something I actually 'want', but something you think I'd enjoy having.

Unless I am unable to get the funds to get one myself, I wouldn't want someone to get me a 'need' item as a gift.

 

I personally wouldn't ask my brother or parents for a doll as a gift. After seeing what they are worth, I doubt they will spend that much. I already hear the music with the one I have already.

But someone asks you what kind of gift you want, and you said a doll, it's not really being selfish if they agree and happy to buy you one. Demanding, or bluntly asking someone is rude.

 

I got my Everpurple Iris head for my Mother's Day present this year, and the body for it was on layaway for five months with the understanding that that was my birthday/Christmas gift combined. In return, my husband bought himself a painted Napoleonic miniatures army for his birthday/Christmas. We both have our little hobbies...

 

I've been fortunate to get a few dolls as gifts from my mom and boyfriend. Having a birthday in January helps me get nice combined gifts XD At first my mom didn't like dolls, but she saw how much I like them and now she asks "Do you want a doll this year?" LOVE IT. It's great all around because it's less shopping for everyone, and I don't get things I don't want/need, and I don't have to figure out where to put the nick nacks and stuff I would get otherwise.
The only thing is that my bf and I reciprocate gifts equally, so if I want to doll I have to be prepared to get him something of equal value! But somehow the spirit of Christmas makes spending the money easier, uh oh
Anyway, I am a lucky muchacha!

 

Wow this topic sure has mixed feelings among members. I personally don't think its a problem unless either party makes it one.
There is nothing wrong with saying what you want if people ask also.

 

Much like most people who have posted, I think this depends on the situation. For example, I have asked my parents if they could buy me an MSD for my birthday, but I offered to contribute to the cost. Because of the recession etc. we don't really have much in the way of surplus money, so they said that they would think about it nearer the time (my birthday is in January), although they said if we were better off then they wouldn't have a problem with it. I completely understand this issue and I am happy to wait.
If the doll in question was under $300 and you offered to contribute a certain amount, then I don't see a problem. However (unless you are filthy rich), I think it is unfair to ask someone for a gift that costs over $300 without offering to pay a substantial amount.

 

Letting someone know what you'd like for a gift is never rude; otherwise, why would they ask you what you wanted? As others have said, it depends on the situation and how much money is able to be spent. If it isn't possible to buy the doll, the only thing that person needs to tell you is something like, "Sorry, I don't have the funds for that, but what if I contribute what I can towards your savings for the doll." or "I can't afford that right now, but what if I help you buy the accessories you'll need?"

As much as I love my doll friends would adore to buy them the various Volks and Luts and Dollzones they would want, I can't afford to, and they know it. But I get them outfits, wigs, other things they need or want. It works out. If I got a huge amount of money, I'd scour the internet for the Wolfy my best friend wants desperately and give it to her as a surprise.

But no, I don't think it's rude to ask for a doll as a gift. If the person can afford it, they'd want to give you a gift that makes you happy.