Asking for a doll as a gift: okay or rude?

Well, I've been wanting a BJD for almost 3 years and my grandma approached me the at the beginning of the year saying, "What do you want for your birthday, darling?" the conversation ensued that I wanted a BJD, and my grandmother has understood that this has been a wish of a long time. She said that since this wasn't the cheapest hobby to get into that'd she'd think about it. A family tragedy happened and no one had lump sums of money to spend on resin. I told her that I would wait until another date to get my doll. She was appalled that I said that I wanted to wait...and she said "alright."
About a week ago she told me to order my doll. I was so happy. It's a Christmas present. But I do have to work the expense off. Which is alright by me.
It all depends on how you go about asking, I suppose.

 

I'd feel guilty asking anyone but my fiance for one, and even then, only the ones that are $250 or less, like several anthros, RS, etc. And I'd still feel bad anyway. >_< I'm loathe to ask for anything for myself, since I usually focus more on what other people want.
I might ask for one indirectly by asking people to give me money instead of stuff for Christmas and my birthday, but that is as far as I feel comfortable going. Mainly because I usually end up with a bunch of stuff that gathers dust anyway.

 

In my opinion I think you may have gone about things in the wrong way. You mention feeling guilty and I think thats normal. I think its okay to ask for something that you feel really passionate about, but you asked your brother for the doll because you knew he had all this money. (thats what it sounds like) Also you asked for it twice, despite the first time when he seemed reluctant. Also I think your comment about how he was spending his money was a bit unfair and a little bit manipulative.

 

im glad it all worked out for you & he was happy to buy the doll but in other circumstances i wouldnt ask. of course where he just came into some money i would think it wouldnt be so bad. myself i would never ever ask but for a completely different reason.
because if i asked for one, then they would know how much they cost! XD
lol, right now my mother loves my dolls, but i think if she knew how expensive they were she might think differently! so when the holidays come around i just bite my toungue & keep saving

 

It is completely a situational basis for me. For example, my fiance knows I'm very interested in dolls and actually purchased me one for Christmas several years ago. And my sister is my only friend in real life who is interested in dolls, and she's most likely pitching in a bit of cash for my endless Lusion Dahlia fund-raising as my birthday gift this year. We discussed it openly and I told her if she changes her mind that's fine, but there's nothing I need at this point, and she knows how much I want this doll, so most likely she'll go this route.

On the other hand, I've never asked my parents or anyone else to give me a doll or funds toward getting a doll, as it seems very inappropriate to ask them for something so grandiose. For one, my parents have never had a lot of money and I'd never ask them for so much. Additionally, I don't wish to go around discussing the finances of my hobby with everyone, and lastly, I like working hard on my own toward obtaining my dolly goals.

That said, if you're open with him about what you want, and he wants to spend the money on you, then it seems ok to me

 

I find it rude. I was talking to my mom in law about a doll that had recently gone on sale and how much I wanted it and she said "Why don't you ask your Mother? " The first things I said was "Noooooo way! That is way to much to ask for a Christmas gift!" I can't even ask my fiancée for something like that!

But I am considering. I really want this doll so I might as well ask.

 

It's very situational. I wouldn't ask for a BJD as a gift from anyone. It's just too much. I am, however, asking for money as gift on Christmas to go for my BJD. ^_^ They know how excited I am about getting one, but I would never ask them to buy it for me.

It will be a gift from my husband. Since it is OUR money and not just mine. xD He really wants me to have one.

 

It depends on who you ask, how much and why you think you deserve it.

For me if you ask your family members, I don't think it's rude but if the doll you want cost a lot you should check your family financial too.

If you ask you BF, I think it's rude because dolls are way too expensive to request (spouses are exception)

 

Juliet my RS Mei was a partial gift. My Mother gave me $100 dollars towards her as my birthday and christmas gift. I don't think it's rude to ask for a doll as a gift if you know the limits and boundaries with who you are asking. If you often get a gift/gifts in the price range of a doll from that person and they ask about what you'd like then i'm sure you wouldn't be uncomfortable asking for a doll.

My dad and his girlfriend recently just asked me what i wanted for christmas. I told them i wasn't really sure and they asked me if i'd like a doll. I explained to them that they're pretty pricey and the dolls that i'd be interested in for the next in my doll family are between 300-400 dollars. They said to come over some night and look online with them at dolls and they'll see what they can do. I feel sort of awkward asking them for one of the more expensive ones since usually my dad and his GF together spend at max $200 on me for my christmas+Birthday. (they always get put together as my birthday is in january)

It's only rude if you ask in a rude way. If someone you loves wants to get you something and you suggest a doll and they're okay with it that's great. It's nice to have support in such an expensive hobby.

 

I asked my friends/family for money for my Birthday this year for a specific limited doll. The money they gave me paid for it completely, and with a freelance check and the leftover bday monies, I got another mold I'd been wanting for a really long time as well. It was great, I got something I wanted and they didn't have to shop for me XD

I probably wouldn't ask for doll as a whole gift though from anyone, unless it was the only thing I was getting and somewhere in the 150 range.

 

I honestly don't think it's rude. I think nowadays it is very hard for a gift giver to give a gift (regardless of the price) that the receiver will truly enjoy, cherish, and be excited about (for me anyways). Go for it. A large amount of money is very hard to come by even for people who work full-time. I think you getting a BJD will be a good investment in the long run. I'm thinking about getting a Iplehouse Mars myself in the future. He is very beautiful.

I personally have not ask anybody in my family or friends for a BJD because I can afford them myself if I set aside money each time I get paid but if somebody who is close to me wanted to buy me one, I would not refuse their offer. Of course, I would take into consideration if that person is financial well off to be offering in the first place, if not then I would politely refuse.

 

I can't imagine asking for one for a gift-giving holiday like Christmas or... my birthday. XD

But then again, my family is only lower middle class, so something expensive like a BJD would be wayy higher than what my parents usually spend on me for things like that.

Also, I've never been in a situation like the one you're in where someone close to me came into a lot of money.

Though, TBH, if my dad ever won the lottery, I'm pretty sure I'd bet getting a whole buttload of BJDs. =P We talk about the lottery a lot. LOL

 

I could say, as my personal opinion, that it is not rude.
Many people ask expensive gifts, like gameconsols, stereos, even cars.
Then again, I myself, could never do such a thing. Its not about being rude, but about that I know they're expensive and that I wouldn't want my parents/whoever I'd ask it for, never spent so much money on me.
I got very confused when I first time heard that someone had gotten a doll as a gift from their boyfriend, becouse such a thing wouldn't be possible with people I know. I think it's a cultural thing.
We can ask for a expensive gift, but almost no one does (In where I mostly live: Finland), becouse it makes us feel uneasy.
Thats at least what I think.

 

Interesting issue to talk about. I only ask for expensive gifts knowing that I have and can to 'return' the gift back in some way... and if I know that everything is ok economically speaking for the person at the moment (sadly, I cannot say that at this moment T_T). Anyway, as this is my hobby, I prefer to buy dolls myself with my effort, because it's quiiiiiite expensive and I have to count on customs etc. That way, it's my money, I got it with my job and anyone can say absolutely nothing about that (provided that I don't need that money for anything else, of course, but that's called responsability).

But of course, your case is someway different. Probably, you were feeling guilty not because you were asking for an expensive gift, but because you maybe felt you were taking advantage of your brother's car accident, and yes, I would also feel like rude in that kind of situation. But if he was really willing to make you that gift, everything's perfect!! ^^.

 

The way I have always asked for big ticket items is indirectly. My family has always had enough money to make ends meet, but we were never rich. We have to save to get the expensive stuff. So, my parents would ask for a Christmas list and I'd put one or two expensive things I wanted on there, but I'd also put a lot of cheaper stuff too so that they could buy what they could afford.

Now, I'm not really comfortable telling my parents how much I've spent on a doll (even though it was my money) so I don't ask for doll related gifts.

When my boyfriend asks me what I want for Christmas I tell him, "well, I would always love doll stuff" but I also tell him about other items I'd enjoy. When I wanted a specific doll and he asked me what I wanted I first asked him how much he was planning to spend. Since I'm in college and he recently graduated we frequently discuss price limits so that neither of us feels like we have to spend beyond our means and so that one of us doesn't buy a really expensive gift and the other one a cheap gift. He named his price range (under what the doll cost) and so I told him that he could give me money toward the doll if he'd like, but I also gave him a list of items within his price range.

I usually don't feel guilty if I get the expensive gifts because I am careful not to stress any gift over the other and the giver is the one to choose how much they spend on me.

 

Last year, I asked my parents for help with purchasing my CP Luwen, but I didn't ask them to pay for the whole thing. We worked it out so that they gave me the amount they would usually spend on me for my birthday to go towards the doll, instead of buying me other thing. I didn't receive anything else for my birthday from them. In the end, I felt more awkward about asking for cash than guilty about it.

 

Rude is not the right word, I'd feel uncomfortable. Where I live in my country an expensive gift like a doll, a car or a tv-set is not something you ask for. And receiving a gift like that will mostly result in a slightly embarrassed "oh, you shouldn't have...". So, no, I would never ask for something as expensive like this, not even as a graduation gift.

 

I think why not? Doll is no worse than any other gift or present. If it's ok to ask for a present why this present couldn't be some wonderful BJD?
So I don't see here any rudeness at all.

 

:3 Glad you worked it out with your brother. Yes, communication is most important here. I think is ok to ask for something expensive when the person you are asking has the resources and is close to you. I believe your loved one is more than happy to fulfill your request if it is within their ability, just like I would be glad to buy my loved one anything if I had the resources~

 

I really think it depends. C:

I mean... if you have a list of things you want (and are not just demanding a 500-1000 dollar doll) then I think it's fine. c: Then at least they have the option you know? And if they buy it, it's their choice to do so. n.n

If you're demanding ONLY a doll. "I don't want anything except this doll. And if you get me anything else I will be sad/mad." Then it's rude, and definitely not ok.

Personally, I ask for everything that I was gonna buy myself haha. So I can save up for my doll faster haha!