Asking for a doll as a gift: okay or rude?

I got my first doll as a gift for my sweet 16. And of course even though I was thrilled to death, I also felt guilty because of how much the dolls were. Buuuut I agree with several people here, communication and honesty is key and hey if your brothers okay with it and you havent annoyed him about it everyday then there nothing to feel guilty about.

 

Asking for expensive items for christmas/birthday/whatever is always a tough situation. Most of the time people want to know what you like/want so they know what kinds of gifts you would enjoy (so they can choose on their own), but asking for something specific and expensive is difficult because not everyone has that kind of money.

Here's a little tidbit I use, this process may take a while for you to end up with what you want, but it can work for any expensive gift desires, not just dolls.
In my family, when christmas rolls around, my mom asks each of us to draw up a list of things we want so that we can all look at one-another's lists and see what to buy for each other. I make two lists. One is the "realistic items" list. A list of relatively inexpensive items you know would make good gifts because of price and whatnot (clothes/dvds/giftcards to your favorite stores/books/etc.), the other list is the "unrealistic gifts" list (New desktop computer/Expensive art programs like adobe and autodesk/a new car/Soom MechaAngel Sabik/etc.). I always put this list at the bottom of my christmas desires list, specifically marked as "unrealistic". The point is that they know this is something you want, and who knows, one year you just might get it. [I ended up with the Autodesk Suite last christmas =) very expensive 3d modeling programs.]

 

I would never ever ask for a BJD as a gift! There are several reasons: I'm pretty picky so my BJDs are of a middle and up price range. I feel that BJDs are a luxury items so they should be earned in some way. I would jump into the hobby only if I can handle all the expenses of it on a certain level. I would also feel like I owe a donor after receiving such a pricey gift, and I'd prefer to be independent.
But if me or my relatives would suddenly have some huge unexpected income it's OK to spend it on some luxury.

 

I asked my parents for an Iplehouse YID Mars last Christmas. Well... actually, I just said I wanted one and I thought he was the prettiest. My mom bought him for me as a surprise. I was very glad! And now, they bought me another doll, this one is an Aria Doll Iris secret. I searched and searched for the cheapest, prettiest doll. And I found her! I asked for her for Christmas. She should get here before then. The next doll I get, I want to buy with my own money for once, even if it takes a while.

 

Though it is rude to ask someone who doesnt make that much money, I do think its alright if they were planning on a very expansive gift already for you. For me, I had asked my mother who usually spends the same amount on me for christmas. I would like to afford my own but lack of a job due to moving around with my husband and his job making it easy for us to live on just him make it hard to find something temporary, when they dont want temporary. When I asked for one this year I made sure that it wasnt something too much over $300 and that it was worth the money. And i asked for only this, knowing that my mother was already spending that much since she only had me and my husband to buy for. I think as long as your considerate, or even offering compensation in return for buying something that expensive..

 

It depends on your personal situation, I believe. I know my mother has been struggling financially for awhile, and we are middle class on average, so I feel there is no way that I can possibly ask my mother to buy a ABJD for me.

However, if the person had alot of money to spend and if their the type to buy you something like an ipod which you might not enjoy that much, than asking for a doll instead of something else that is very expensive would be fine!

 

I wouldn't call it definitely rude unless you were demanding that someone has to get you a doll. I'd feel bad asking for a doll from someone I know can't/won't spend that much money on one gift, like trying to get someone who normally gives you a $30 gift to suddenly jump to $500. And I would assume it's pretty useless to ask someone who doesn't get/like the hobby. And since so much of it is done through internet, I probably wouldn't ask someone who isn't very internet savvy...

I've expressed wanting a doll, but I've never directly gotten a doll as a gift. I've gotten to an age where most relatives just gift money (I'm gone for college so much it's hard to have much conversation on what I even like most of the time) so I tend to pool it together, some for saving and some for my own things like dollie stuff and school supplies.

 

I'm like you, I also get really shy when it comes to gifts, and probably wouldn't do it (except maybe with my parents, but I know they wouldn't do it unless they had the funds and it was one of the cheaper options, and even then that's pushing it.) But if it's someone you're close to and you know that they wouldn't mind, then I don't really see a problem with it so long as you don't act as if you're entitled to it and they MUST buy it for you.

 

I think it depends alot on the relationship you have with that particular person. My best friend paid for my Dollshe Saint early this mth without hesitation. In fact, I think its a relief for her cos she doesnt have to wreck her brains to think what to get me for my coming birthday. Likewise, whenever its her birthday, I will just ask her directly if there anything that she wants? Most are my friends are kinda happy that I got into this hobby (even though they just dun get it) cos it makes birthdays/xmas gift picking so much easier. So in my view, I believe it weighs alot on the closeness btw the said parties.

 

I am turning 21 next year, and I asked my parents whether they would buy me my dream doll. My dad has an incredibly well paying job, and so (and it sounds really awful to say, but my partner always reminds me of it) they do have enough money that it isn't a big purchase for them. But at the same time, I asked that they didn't get me anything for Christmas, as my birthday is in April, so for me it was too soon after Christmas to expect gifts for both events. I spoke to my Mum and emailed my Dad (I don't live at home, and he always checks his emails so it is easier than trying to call!) and they said they would talk about it. Mum ended up talking to me again, saying that my Dad was just concerned that there were other things they could get me instead, such as a new laptop, and was I certain I wanted the doll. My laptop that I have isn't actually that bad, and if I was going to get a new one I would feel bad, as I refuse to buy a new laptop/phone etc if the old one isn't actually broken. I mean, it isn't the best laptop anymore, but it works fine for me, and my dad got me an iMac last year so I don't use the laptop all that often as it is. Mum loved the idea of getting me the doll, as she loves my dolls, and likes when I bring them over, and Dad is getting used to them - I used to be a bit of a tomboy and always wanted remote control cars and things, so I think he is a little confused as to where this person who loves pink and dresses and dolls has come from! (But I still want remote control cars...)
I think as long as the subject is approached the right way it is fine. I mean, my partner bought me two of my dolls as presents, both second hand. That was without me asking, but I still felt guilty, because I thought they were too big as presents. He countered with it was his money and we had been going out for nearly 2 years, so he could buy me whatever he wanted. But with my parents, I know that it isn't a super enourmous amount of money to them, so I don't feel as bad asking. My Mum thought I was being very adult saying I didn't want Christmas presents in leu of getting the doll, so she only got me a charm for my charm bracelet (she always gets me one).
Equally, if I was going to ask any of my other relatives, I wouldn't feel at all guilty asking my uncle and aunt - they are both very highly paid lawyers, both partners in the same firm, and have a 40inch flatscreen tv in their childrens PLAYROOM. So I would know that they really wouldn't be put out with something with a pricetag of pocket change for them. (Can you tell I don't like that Uncle and Aunt very much?!)

 

My Grandmother bought me a doll for this Christmas, but it was totally her idea as I did not even know that she had bought him. But when everyone was asking me what I wanted for Christmas, I would say to please give me a gift card or money so that I might be able to combine everything to buy either a doll or clothes.
If they are family, it really should not hurt to tell them what you would like.

Desirae

 

I always hope to get a doll which is gift by someone important to me. In state of telling the person what I want, I would be happier that he or she knows my hobby and buy me a doll that I like. But till now I have not meet such person yet haha...

I do not think it is rude to tell someone what you want especially the person you like. Because I think both parties will be happy as they buy the right gift to their loved ones and you receive a gift that you like.


ps: It is important too to know the financial condition of the person before telling him or her what you want.

 

I think it depends like if its your husband or parents or something then it really isnt to bad. For a friend its kind of iffy but i do think its alittle rude if it's your brother but mainly because me and my siblings dont really spend much on eachother. This is a tough one so I say it rude unless your willing to pitch money into it so they dont have to pay to much.

 

Well, My first doll was a birthday present. So I think it's okay if it's a special occasion.

 

I could never ask anyone for a doll, no matter how much money they make. If I want such an expensive hobby item, I will buy it myself. Asking for something like that is an bad taste in my opinion. My first doll was bought with summer job money in high school, so I can't say I would have asked for one before I had a full-time job or was an adult.

This means no offense to anyone who doesn't buy their dolls or has asked for them, everyone and every situation is different but in my case I would be mortified to receive one from a loved one. I don't even like people going over $100 on my for gifts, I don't need all of that, the thought really counts with me. I could accept some money towards as a gift, but even that is pushing.

 

I think if my gf ask me an doll as gift i would be happy, i guess.
But if it was a 500+ high price doll probably is a "no".

 

I think it really depends on the person you ask to, the relationship and trust you share with that person and that person with you, on his/her resources and intentions and even on the situation. I catch the question as asking a BJD as a gift to a close one and I also think honest communication is the key.

My personal experience is a bit different, but shares a similar point. All the BJD I got arrived home thanks to my parents' help so they are not exactly gifts, but sort of it each of them. The real gift was the help I got, specially from my mother who during the process even got her own BJD. I have done the opposite, I have given BJD as gifts twice (One of them was my mother's BJD), but I have never been asked to.

So would I ask a BJD as a gift? Maybe, if the person to ask is a truly close one (My partner, my parents,...) and the situation (That person's funds and willing, that BJD is a really wanted and still missing piece of my crew and I am not able to get it all by myself) deserves it. But no, I do not think it is rude if you tell honestly to the right one.

 

I think it depends on who you are asking. If it's a friends then no, but you parents maybe.

 

Well lets see 2 of my dolls so far are presents from my boyfriend. He never knows what to get me and he likes my dolls so he is ok with me asking for one for presents...But anyone else nope I wouldn't ask it of my family or friends, I'm kinda older though so I don't get many gifts from my small family and none from friends so yep it depends on your individual situation. I usually get a little money from my dad so I just use that for my doll fund. Of course asking for the specific doll takes the suprise out of it, but I try to keep it simple for my boyfriend so no oh I want this head with this body,etc. I don't think he minds and I tell him don't feel like you have to get it for me just because I asked for it, especially since the recent one I asked for is a little more than the others.

 

Well glad you got your doll and that it worked out so well for you. I know my hubby would rather get me something I really want then waste time & money getting me something I would not enjoy. So for the past 4 years every gift giving occasion is either combined like the 4 small ones into one doll or he will buy a doll for my Birthday or Christmas. And he is fine with getting them early as he has learned sometimes certain times of year work better to get a doll done, or it is a LE. It has worked out time and time again. Haven't kept them all, but after this newest purge all my dolls will basically have been paid for by him in one way or other.