Asking for a doll as a gift: okay or rude?

THIS thread.

Right before I got my first job, a friend jokingly asked if I would buy her a BJD even though I myself didn't even have one yet. I found this to be extremely rude. Looking back, I'm still offended that she would expect me to buy her something of such high value for no reason. Plus, I know that she would never ever spend that amount of money on me, let alone her own family members. Though asked in joking, the request still was an idea that had crossed her mind before. Of course, she got a lighthearted "no" as a reply. :/ I wouldn't dare ask one of my other friends to buy me something as remotely expensive as a BJD, especially if they just started working and earning their own money. Pffft.

My view is that I think it's okay to ask for an item such as a doll if it's a special occasion like Christmas or a birthday. I did something similar when I got my D-SLR. I offered to pay half with my money, and my parents paid the other half as my "big" Christmas present. I would have done the same with my first doll if I could. (I paid in full instead because my parents frown upon dolls. I'm cool with it since it's their money, not mine. They chose to get me something else for my birthday). I also find it acceptable to request a doll if a partner or someone close to you asks what you want as a gift. The partner or close person would have to be financially stable, of course. I would feel guilty if someone with money problems wanted to give me a doll as gift. Even though they want to do it, I would feel horrible accepting the doll. There are plenty of other posts on this thread with good insight which I agree with. I don't have much else to add to this topic. ^^

EDIT: I re-read the first paragraph of this post and realized it sounded very bitter/hateful. I did not intend for that at all. I think it may have sounded so because of the situation. She has asked me to buy her things before. That coupled with asking for a doll is too much to me. I worked really hard to buy my first doll. She didn't understand how much stress work and school caused me at the time, which is what made me mad. I certainly don't think it's wrong to ask someone for a doll, as long as it's a reasonable situation.
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Well my 1st BJD and only at this moment was a gift, in fact I asked my mom if she could gave me my BJD as a present for my 15th birthday, I know it was expensive, but I don't feel guilty for that, because I had the time to talk to her.
I think it also depends on the relation you have with that person.

 

I'm really glad to hear he's as thrilled as you are! I was going to say that since you asked and he knows how shy you are about such things (the fact you were feeling so guilty showed that; then again, I'm the same way) he had the opportunity to say no, but he didn't. He could have said "Maybe a cheaper one?" or something, but he didn't. As you and others have said, open communication is the key.

I don't think it's rude to ask people you're close to. They have the option of saying no, of course. I asked last year and my aunt laughed in my face. See? Simple. Haha. xD However, Celestila's story I can understand why she'd be offended.
Though, I admit I did something similar to my boyfriend the other day... Boyfriend, though, maybe it's not so similar. ^^; He knows me too well, haha.

 

I have always been the type of person who does not like asking for gifts unless somebody ask me what I would like first. Thinks like birthday gifts or holiday gifts... but a BJD is something I have been too afraid to ask for. The dolls are very pricey, and my father does not understand the concept of collecting. He even told me up front one time when I went on about BJDs: "I don't see why people spend money on such useless things when they can be helping others with that much." That's one thing which has really kept me from getting into the hobby. I'm still dancing on my toes about making my first doll purchase, my father's words ramming in the back of my head.

So no, I don't think I would ever ask somebody for a BJD as a gift. So much money put into something so small and a doll. Surely, it would mean a lot to me if somebody did give me the doll of my dreams. Them putting so much money into my happiness would be an honour, but to ask for that I would consider rude.

 

I think it depends on the situation. If I know someone who is already going to be buying me something for a special occasion, say, parents and birthday, and I know roughly how much they are planning on spending, then I think it's fine to ask for doll related things in that amount. I wouldn't ask anyone unless I know they are already going to spend that much on me anyway and are in the financial position to do so.

I personally won't ever ask anyone since no one close to me is in the financial shape to just give the doll I want as a gift. I know they will buy it for me if I ask, but I would feel too guilty to enjoy it. In my personal situation, saving up is the best and only way.

 

I could ask my husband or my sister, we've always felt comfortable asking each other what we want for occasions so we can get exactly what the other wants. We also know each other's financial situations, which is important because otherwise I would feel very uncomfortable asking for something that's above what they would've normally paid. I actually recently asked my sister if she would pay a portion of a doll I've been wanting (non BJD) and she was happy to do it. But I agree that good communication and understanding is key and I couldn't just ask anyone for something expensive.

 

Well it's kinda a double edge sword for me. Like a lot of people are saying it depends on the person. My first boy was a christmas/birthday gift from my entire family, however I had offered to pay half his total price before they all pitched in to surprise me. The two fell so close together that my family just told me not to worry about it basically and ordered him for me as a two big occasion gift. I felt kinda bad at first but knowing that they were all supportive enough to chip in for the cost made me feel a bit better then say....if one of them had thought it was stupid and had just chipped in cause they had to.

After that I got my second boy with my own money.

 

I, personally, wouldnt ask for it. I'd ask for money to put towards it maybe, or maybe, if the place I wanted the doll from offered gift certificates, something like that. But I don't think it's rude, and if you have a good relationship with someone like that, I don't think it's wrong or in any way rude. =]

 

For me, it would depend entirely on the situation. Just outright asking/begging someone, I'd probably feel weird about. On the other hand, my Mom sends out a request, usually around September/October for a list of things we'd like, preferably with a nice variance of price ranges. The rule is, if you put it on the list you aren't allowed to get it until after Christmas (all but one of us have October - December birthdays). She may get you the one BIG thing on the list, and tell you "that's it for your birthday AND Christmas", she may get you a whole ton of little things, or anywhere in between. I'd be willing to put a doll or accessories on that list (which would be HIGHLY amusing to her, as I was a Barbie brat growing up, and bribery through the promise of a new doll or outfit is the only way she managed to get me to progress from standing by the side of the pool crying to learning to swim)

 

Not only have I asked for dolls from my husband, I have asked for specific dolls, and he has gotten them for me. That is why, for instance, there are "wish lists" on Amazon. Sometimes people want to get you a gift and don't know what to get you.

 

I think its rude only if the other person doesn't have that much money available or has other priorities. I did ask my parents to buy me one once though it was a cheaper one, and I convinced them by saying that would have been my birthday and christmas gift.
The problem in my case is that I don't know anyone willing to spend that much money on a doll easily, it really depend on the person.

 

I wouldn't feel right about asking someone to buy me one because there just so expensive. i would asked on like holidays and birthdays for money to put in the my doll fund but not to get a whole doll. my mom i might ask but not to pay for the whole thing just maybe half and i pay the other.

 

I'd put in for a holiday request, but not for a whole doll. Like freefall55890, donations to the doll fund are appreciated! However, I have made my doll preferences known to my husband. Just in case. ;-D

 

I depends. For instance, I personally wouldn't ask my friends if they could put their money together to get me a doll for my birthday/Chirstmas/ect...(partly because we're still in school and don't work yet.) But, I would ask my parents. I mean, if I were to ask for a doll $400+, I would have to pay half, atleast, even if it was for Christmas or a special occasion. If anything it's like I'm asking for some help paying for one. Though, my first girl, who is an X2 Dahlia (out of currently two xD) was a Christmas gift from my parents. ^_^

 

I think it's fine if it's someone you're close to, like a brother or parent, and you know they have the money for it and there's a good chance they'd be willing. For example, my parents generally get me and each of my siblings one main gift each christmas, and then a bunch of other random things they've picked up for us during the year. This year, I told my parents that the one thing I really wanted was a SOOM Sov, and that I was happy with that being the only thing I got and I was willing to help pay. They were perfectly happy with that arrangement, especially since they often struggle over what to get me since I'm not into fancy bags, jewelry, and make-up like my sisters.

On the other hand, none of my friends or siblings could afford a doll, would want to spend that much money on me, or even know what a BJD is, so I would definitely not ask them for something like that; I doubt any of them would even take me seriously if I tried, and it would feel rude and morally wrong.

 

As a parent/aunt/friend, I certainly would like to give a doll out of the blue, but I would like to know that my child/niece/good friend dreams about this or that doll, soif I want tomake him/her a surprise for some event, I will be able to choose the very thing (s)he wants.
To choose a special and meaningful present for someone beloved is something I have pride to do fine. And for birthdays sometimes when we are a lot toput money in common for a present, the amount can be high soit would be sad to choose the wrong item, and a "real" present is better than a voucher,as it shows more that we have listened about the things a friend is interessed in...
So to ask directly may be rude, but to say "I really dream about this beautiful doll" may be a good thing to do with people you're close to (As somebody else said, humans have no telepathic powers ).

 

In some cases yes, in others, no. I was always brought up that asking for things was not the way to go (so much so that as a child I wouldn't even accept offers of drinks or snacks when visiting friends).

But this year for my birthday I was left in a tricky situation... my boyfriend decided he'd get me an amazing gift for my 18th (he'd just come into money for the first time) and that I was to chose it. We went shopping and I drooled over new gaming consoles and other things, but wouldn't let him think about buying me anything (I abused him in order for him NOT to buy me the $20 Gameboy Advance SP... hehe). But I don't know, I think on the bus home from the shops we were both feeling funny over not getting me anything. I think a few days later I told him about the BJD I kept seeing for sale and how much I adored it... then he offered to buy it for me. I had no money at the time and insisted I'd pay him completely back. He said no, he'd pay it all. He agreed he'd pay half. But now I've wormed my to pay for it all ($200).

I still feel like I've cheated him into this... I know he wants me to have something I want for my birthday (for his 19th we agreed to the same deal - he chose a new shiny Xbox game). That's why I decided I had to pay him 100% back. I don't know how I could do it otherwise... I don't know, I felt sick when he handed me that much money. I'm not sure if it's just because it's a doll or what... /rambling

 

I have asked my husband for my first SD Charlotte. I wanted her for Christmas and birthday gift ( same day-bad thing for me).
After that I fell really guilty because of the BIG amont of money, as we have to spare for a home.
He was afraid too because of the money too and as he knows nothing about resin BJD. ( and at this time, me neither). We spoken about that.
Now he is happy to see how I am happy with my girl, looking at her and taking pics, and he does not regret at all.

 

I really don't see this as Rude at all. I think my brother and I have the same close relationship that you and your brother have. So, if I had just received a Large some of money, like your brother did, it wouldn't have bother me at all if my brother ask for some. Let say the doll you got was a really expensive one that cost $4,000. That only 1% of the 40k your brother received. It's not that much at all if you compare with the 36k he'll have left.

If it was me and my brother, I would have been "Sure! And while you're at it, here! Take an extra 4k!"

I think it would have been Mean of you, if you Hadn't tell him what you wanted because then he could have wasted the same amount (or more) on something you Didn't want. But I'm glad everything turn out well on your end! =]

 

I think it depends on the relationship you have with the person. For me I would only ask my parents for that kind gift and maybe ask others to pay for part of a doll( for chirstmas or my birthday only).