Being Asked to Sell Your Doll By Fellow Hobbyist

I think that the difference between a statement and a question really matters here, because a question warrants a direct response, which may make the owner uncomfortable. Basically, "That's a really cool doll, I'd be interested if you ever wanted to part with it." is polite because the owner can respond passively and not have to turn anyone down, whereas "Would you sell me that doll?" seems a bit pushy and may fluster someone who is shy or otherwise doesn't like to directly say "no thank you".

 

It's never happened to me but I guess it would depend on the circumstances. I have considered asking a friend to notify me first IF they ever decide to sell a certain doll. I can't decide if it would seem too rude or not (anyone have advice?!) The doll isn't available anymore. It might be in the future, I'm honestly kinda unclear, but if it's not, I'd just like to be on this person's list in case she ever sells hers. I would never straight up ask someone to sell me a doll, but idk, is asking to be notified in the event of sale acceptable or rude?

 

I think its rude,and it doesnt matter how it is brought. The phrase "it never hurts to ask" isnt a truth in this community. Lots of people put lots of work and love in their dolls and it can hurt if someone wants to just buy that love. Ive been asked if I sell my doll when I was just sharing a picture, I wasnt hurt or offended but still thought it was rude. And like other stated, I reply with the same "rudeness" as the question is asked (if asked nicely Ill respond nicely). And the "I get why they ask" isnt a good reason in my opinion. I dont slap someone when I have a reason to, cause that is not done. And the "you should be flattered", a catcall could also be seen as flattering but still is rude. so seeing it as flattery is just makeing the best of a weird/rude situation.
I dont mean to offend anyone that is totally not what I wanted, its my vision on the matter. Which I gave a lot of thought,if you disagree I have no problem in hearing your arguments (worst case is that Ill be changing into miss "glass-is-half-full" XD )

 

It just happened to me again and I have to say I find it extremely rude. I can't understand how people just ask about buying a doll when in no way I indicated that I'm thinking about selling her. I don't feel flattered honestly, I feel irritated :/
Especially when it's a costly limited doll and the person is looking for a not too expensive doll to get in the hobby.. what the hell D:

 

One of my friends has long been fascinated by a particular OT BJD doll in my collection. So much so that she's considered getting one for herself more than once. Normally I completely shut down people who ask to buy my dolls outright. Unlike a lot of things I don't hardly ever sell a doll. I have taken a number or an email from someone who has said to me "Oh, I love what you have done with that doll and I've love to own her if you ever decide to sell." That's a polite request and I don't have a problem with that way of asking. This particular doll I have at least a dozen of. I've admittedly been obsessed with her and have bought just about every incarnation of her available over the years. A couple of them look almost identical only the outfits that they came in are different. I also have several duplicates that I bought to OOAK when the doll was being discounted and was more readily available.

The other day she was over here and she was lingering by the cabinet with those dolls as usual. I've never seen a clearer case of doll envy. I just knew she'd never go there on her own though because in her mind owning a doll is a frivolous thing and she's just not a person who buys much that is. Money is very tight for her, always, because of disability and she has to second and third guess every purchase she makes. I reached into the cabinet brought out one of the duplicates and handed it to her. I told her she could have it with one caveat that if she ever decided she didn't want her she would come back to me and not just be sold to pay a bill or something no matter how much she might be tempted to go there, that I wanted the doll to have a forever home if she was going to take her. I've known this person half my life, so I knew that if she promised she would indeed return her if the charm of owning the doll wore off for some reason. She left my house with the doll in her possession and a huge grin and I have no doubt that she will be taking very good care of her.

It's not often that I give away that expensive a doll. BJD's are not cheap, no matter what they are made of, but I could see how much she wanted one. She's a very good friend so for once I made an exception and did. I think that's why people ask though sometimes. Because they just see something that they love, that they might never buy for themselves and they just can't quite bear the thought of letting it go. BJD's they're not something that most people outside of the hobby relate to and a lot of people they just don't have the kind of creativity it can take sometimes to make a doll look it's best. So when they see a doll that has been done up in a very special way they go a little green and maybe a bit mad over it and they just so WANT it that their manners take second place to their desire for that doll.

I've been there. I've totally envied a doll that someone else had more than once. I can't say I've ever demanded that they sell to me but I've definitely let them know that they'd have a buyer if they ever decided to sell said doll. Fact, it happens a lot with dolls. I've seen tons of people on the few doll boards I am on posting how they're CRAAAAZY about their new doll only to sell it a month later because they want another one or are bored with it or whatever. Easy come, easy go, apparently. I'm personally not like that. I can count on one hand the number of dolls of any kind that I have sold over the years. I'd much rather redo a doll I find I am not nuts for than sell it most of the time. Not everyone gets as attached to their dolls as I do apparently.

In this hobby though there is one bottom line thing though that you have to remember. 99% of the time you CAN have that doll yourself. Unless it's a completely OOAK doll, as in one cast, not just done up in a certain way, there is likely another one out there that you can buy. IMHO there is no reason to hound someone for a doll. Not when you can buy the same doll, do it up in a very similar way, though preferably not identical, and have it yourself. So that's what I do in situations like this. I tell them where they can find it to buy and let them know that they too can have such and such a doll for their very own.

I'm probably a bit too nice in how I shut people down but I do understand how caught up you can get in something, how much you can want it, and how hard it can be to remember to have manners when you REALLY want something that badly. Been there, done that, said ruefully, and unless the person is being totally rude and demanding about it I will have some sympathy and I will try to help them get one of their own....

 

I can speak to the other side of this at the moment. I have few "other people's dolls" that I've been admiring, all ones that really do tug my heart strings in one way or the other. I would love to be able to say to their owners, totally respectfully of course, that I would love to be notified if they ever decided to sell a few of these dolls. So far, I've not had the nerve since, just as the topic of this thread, I don't want to come off as rude or otherwise. Also, being new to the community, I had no idea if making such a request was acceptable or not. So this thread has been interesting. Hopefully as I get to know more people in the community the opportunity to have those conversations comfortably might come up. A girl can dream anyway, right?

 

I think it depends on the context, but I think I would be flattered if someone wanted to buy my dolls. if they acted like a butthole then maybe I would be upset. Some people are not educated about them and if it wasn't a limited doll I would let them know where they could find one of their own.There have been a few that I have seen that if their owners ever needed to re-home them I would gladly oblige. I have never asked anyone but I have had a conversation with someone who managed to put in an offer on a marketplace ad before I could and I told her if she ever didn't want her/ had to sell her I would love her. It all depends, I am outgoing and love to talk to people so I dont mind being asked questions.

 

I guess it all depends on who you are asking the question to. I would just say "I will keep you in mind if I ever want to sell". It's nice to know there is a possible sale in the future, so I am just fine with being asked.
Life must be good if this question is a problem (considering the many other issues that might come up in life!)

 

I see a lot of mixed answers here, quite surprised, to be honest. I thought more people would be offended by this, but I guess it is just me. I pick my sculpts after characters that are very special to me and would get greatly offended if someone would think I would ever consider to part with one of my dolls. But yet again not everyone is so attached. I'd say that it's very rude when someone keeps asking after the first reject.

 

I'm pretty attached to a number of my dolls. Wouldn't change my reaction though and if asked a second time I would just say the same thing again :-) and maybe add that I hope they find the mold. People rarely want your doll. They normally just want the mold.

 

Well, it just happened to me, out of the blue, and I was surprised and upset because I was unaware that anyone here knew I had that particular doll. I don't like people knowing I have expensive things, because it makes you a target for thieves. But I did start a dialogue and discovered that I actually had posted one picture of said doll 4 years ago, on the thread specific to that doll, so that soothed my poor rattled nerves. It turned out to be quite a nice conversation in PMs.