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Being Labeled a "Flake" in the MP

Mar 6, 2012

    1. Hollyraed - I agree with Jescissa, don't assume that people have masses of photos of their dolls. I'd be lucky to have one of every doll I've got here, in fact I wouldn't. Most companies have photos of their dolls online and in substantial detail. There are discussion groups and databases full of owners photos, and a lot are happy to help potential buyers with request ie I'm interested in Loongsoul and a person recently bought their new MSD and posted some owners photos including body shots. A lot of the "let's see them in 15 different wigs and eyes" requests sound to me like people haven't researched whether they like the sculpt. Whereas I'd like to hope that buyers have done their research BEFORE contacting the seller. If I received that sort of request, I'd probably suggest that they look around DoA first instead. I'm not a mad keen photographer, I prefer my dolls to be enjoyed at home. Any questions on scratches, dents etc are reasonable and I'd try and answer them with as much detail as possible, but trying to decide whether you like the sculpt is really something the buyer should do before contacting the seller imo. I understand how difficult it can be to purchase that first doll, but as a seller, I have a personal life and taking masses of photos so you can decide whether or not you even like the sculpt/doll is not high on my priority list, even for a sale.
       
    2. This is sort of how I was when I was buying my first doll. It wasn't from the MP, but there were some things that they just don't show you on the company websites - specifically, how it looks inside the head. Some dolls have a nifty key-lock mechanism, while others have the S-hook that fits into a groove. They don't tell you what their dolls specifically have, though.

      I actually asked people in the DM Kid thread to show me what the inside of the head looked like. I think they thought I was nuts, but I wanted to see what I was going to be dealing with if I ever had to restring them or do something like that. You can't find the answer to that by Googling, either.
       
    3. ugh....

      I had someone who wanted to buy a body from me, back in December.

      I told her I would sell her my body, which is when she gave me an exact time she was going to pay a specific amount of money...[$50 now and "$95 on Thursday" of the same week she paid the first $50...]

      I got my first $50 just like she said, which I then used to pay off my layaway at DDE I had at that time.

      About 4 weeks ago, I finally heard back from this lady......
      ...I hadn't gotten the $95 that was owed in December.....
      ....even though [in December of last year,] she told me she was definitely going to pay "on Thursday"....

      ....but I also hadn't heard from her *at all* until 4 weeks ago.

      In my point of view, by her telling me she was going to pay the $95 on Thursday [back in December,] she created a binding legal contract....


      ...and then, with her not paying me at all [despite her creating a contract], when she didn't speak to me for 3 months, I figured that she wasn't going to pay me at all.

      {I never had a hand in her creating the contract, either. She decided to create her own payment plan all on her own....:(}



      It was a really horrifying experience.

      I told her that I sold the Pukifee body I had for her at that time, but I had another one that I could send her now, which was the exact same skin tone and it was actually brand new [the one she wanted in December was actually about 3 years old.]


      To make it worse, she got quite beligerent and told me that I had no right at all to sell my 3+ years old body and then offer her a new one, because I should sell her the body I offered her...


      She also snooped my threads and saw how much I was selling the 3+ years old body for, and got enraged and told me it was far less than what I asked her to pay me for it. Which is untrue...I sold my old body to someone else for the exact price I asked her to pay me.

      Regardless, I wanted her to be happy and to have her body, so I knocked down my selling price of $95 to $50....mostly because she was being outrageous and I wanted her to stop treating me cruelly. I thought by reducing the price, maybe she'd be nicer and be more polite to me.

      Keep in mind, this body and the other body are exactly the same! {Pukifee NS body with headback...}
      But I still knocked down the price anyways.

      To which, she says it wasn't her fault she didn't pay me , and she wasn't to blame for not talking to me for 3 months, "because she has a VERY limited amount of computer time!" and "I should understand that, because not everyone who has a computer is on it 100% of the time!"

      I was absolutely appalled....and then she's threatened me with "very bad" feedback.

      I still don't have the $95, I still have a body of a doll that I'm uncertain she's going to buy, I NEED to sell it because I just really don't want the doll at all anymore, I never play with it, and so I'm holding onto it, hoping to hear from her again to see if she even wants it...but that was 4 weeks ago and suddenly, she's not online at all D: Again!

      I keep checking her profile, I've PM'd her {a few times!}, and I just don't get any replies TT_TT

      I am actually VERY saddened by this.

      And worst of all, she gave me what was essentially a binding contract that she wrote for herself and then she broke it, yet she's mad at *me* for everything T^T

      ; n ; I'm worried that if she says she will buy my other Pukifee body, that she'll not talk to me for another couple of months and I'll continue to wait for great lengths of time for money I might or might not see.


      I don't post in the Littlefee and Minifee threads anymore because I don't want this lady snooping my posts and see what I'm up to anymore and seeing what I do with my Pukifee that I've offered her.

      ;____; derp.

      I'm debating blocking her...I've NEVER used the "Ignore" feature, but I'm so tempted. She's so mean and when she does PM me, she's angry, and then she's ....gone D:...for months and months DDD:
       
    4. Ingy, don't make any new promises to this buyer. She broke the original agreement by not paying when she said she would, but if you make a new promise, it's a new agreement. Putting someone on ignore is at times the best solution. You don't really hurt people by using the ignore option, but you save yourself from being bothered or annoyed.
       
    5. Ingy, the buyer is completely in the wrong. If they do not finish paying for the item, then they have no rights to said item and you have every right to sell it to someone else. If you do a layaway from a company and only make one payment before dropping off the face of the earth, you would lose the doll and the initial payment. That's how those things work. If she keeps harassing you, I would seriously contact a mod and report her. This is a case where the buyer is being completely unreasonable and you have every right to not deal with her again.
       
    6. I'm actually in tears about this because it's so emotional...I would have loved to work something out with this young woman...I honestly would have loved to help her get her body ; n ;

      Guys, I honestly wondered if it'd be okay to block her and possibly not sell things to her.....only because she's taking such a long time...

      I normally don't mind holding onto a doll indefinitely, {and I have held onto things for a greater amount of time than I presume is normal...I love trading and buying and selling things. It's friendly for me!}

      I totally don't mind it when people change their plans, because I will totally work with anyone in any way to help them get their product.

      It's so hard ; n ; This lady was sooooo mean!! I've never had anyone be mean before D: I've had people feel upset or ... sad...because something didn't work out,...I've had some snide things happen because of disagreements, but everyone was okay in the end -- no one was speaking out of bounds to people, they were unly sad because of the situation...you know, they were only talking about how they were upset that things fell through {on either side -- I buy things, too. Sometimes I do stupid things and I accept those consquences 100%...if I mess up, I did something to mess myself up :XD:}


      I actually really love selling people things -- I give free gifts when I sell off dolls and parts, too! -- so the idea of someone being upset with a transaction they've had with me becomes a serious affliction for me.

      I didn't know that I had a right to turn this lady down....

      And I really truly hate that I have to turn her down....

      The selling process is such a wonderful thing for me, I take a lot of pride in selling items.....


      I was stunned by this person's crashness. I pride myself in being kind and being happy, so it hit me really hard when she was so mad....!

      And I always own up to things when I do something stupid...the thought that someone would blame me for something I didn't do actually scared me really bad...I'm actually very naive, I have Aspergers so I'm a little bit more immature than other people my age....oTL


      .....Thank you so much for the feedback....I honestly didn't know I could protect myself from situations like this.

      I was pretty sure I should try to work with the lady...and I would have worked with her 100%, if she would only be kind and treat me nice :(

      Thanks so much for relieving me like this :"( I really didn't know I could protect myself!! D:

      I didn't mean to derail the Thread...I'm just so happy that she doesn't have to be snippy anymore TnT I'm going to go block her now...it's so hard to push that button, though T___T I wish this ended better!!
       
    7. in my opinion, as a buyer, a seller, a mom, and an adult, you are responsible for your purchase so long as an invoice has been sent to you. Until then, you can back out of the purchase.

      thats my opinion though. Me? I'm more of an understanding person that knows life happens. Our children get sick. Our parents become ill. We become ill. We come before paying for dolls, so if someone told me life happened I don't know if I'd be able to, as a human being, leave flake feedback.

      if someone just went "oh i dont want it" then I'd probably be angry.
       
    8. As someone stated earlier, I think keeping all your correspondence with a buyer/seller is a good idea, until feedback has been given for the transaction, because that way you can prove to the Mods your side of any argument that might arise.

      Last summer I had to sell 2 dolls that I had only bought a few months earlier because of an unexpected cash crisis. I knew they would be popular and sure enough I had a lot of enquiries. I had stated clearly in the ad threads that I would not hold for anyone. I told everyone who enquired and still asked for a hold that I would only consider a doll sold when someone sent me the money to my paypal address, either in full or the deposit for a layaway. I don't know how I could be any clearer on that?

      One sold without any hitches but despite a lot of enquiries over 3 days on the other, every interested party stated they had issues with getting the money together for either a deposit or to pay in full. I kept stating to each one that I thanked them for their interest and the doll would be sold to whoever was first to pay me as I would NOT do holds (too many bad experiences). One interested party chose to ignore all of that and PM'd me back with something along the lines of "I will definitely buy this doll, will have the full amount for you in the morning, do not sell to anyone else until you hear from me"... so much for a contract being a two way thing.

      Next day (a Friday)came and late in the evening, while I was still answering other enquiries, she PM'd me again to say she was going out of town unexpectedly, that she had the money right there but had no time to deal with it and would have no internet access and would pay me when she got back on the following Tuesday. Well, excuse me for thinking that was a load of BS! I had already sent her my Paypal address, she could have paid me in the time it took to write that PM and the doll would have been posted out to her before she got back from her weekend. Before I could even PM back to remind her that I DO NOT DO HOLDS and she was now breaking the terms of her own contract to pay me on the Friday, someone else I had been discussing a sale with sent me the full amount. Sometimes when a seller says there is a lot of interest in a doll they mean exactly that!

      I dealt with the buyer as a priority next day and got the doll packed and in the mail then came back and pm'd that person to say that the doll was now sold after they had backed out of their own agreement to pay me on the Friday (this member was in the EU and only one hours time difference to me, and Friday had come and gone). As she had stated in black and white that she would have no internet access until Tuesday, I assumed I wouldn't hear from her for a while but actually got several angry pms back right away and more over the weekend. She was going to report me to the mods, she was going to blacken my name over the forums, etc... I just reminded her that I still had all her correspondence and mine and that she wouldn't have a leg to stand on as far as I understood the rules. She just blustered on for a bit about how underhand I was trying to sell for more money, which was completely untrue, I stated a price and that was what the doll sold for. I stated I wouldn't do holds and didn't. I stated I would sell to the first person to pay me, she was the first person I gave my paypal details and yet she didn't do so.

      Some people just think the rules don't apply to them but as a buyer I never enquire about a doll, even in these quieter days, unless I have the money ready to send off, because you are just wasting everyone's time otherwise.
       
    9. Ingy, I really think you should explain the whole situation to a moderator so you can get the go-ahead to cancel your transaction with the buyer. That sounds like a really ugly situation - and the person definitely sounds like a flake to me!
       
    10. Seconded! Protect yourself!
       
    11. Hollyraed - I feel like I should clarify here. :P I have absolutely no problem answering questions about a doll (It takes, what, 2 seconds for me to give you a wig and eye size? :) ) and I totally agree with you that the full doll should be visible in pix, as should any damage. I will NEVER start a sales thread that doesn't show what the bald, nude doll looks like. If there is damage, I will most certainly show it. What I meant is more like what Hobbysue and Jescissa explained. More often that not, I don't have a lot of already taken pix of any certain doll just waiting for a buyer. I do expect a buyer to do basic research first and know what they are looking for, but I also understand that you might find a sculpt on the MP that you've never seen before that just calls to you. I'm fine with basic questions, but when it turns into "will (insert brand I don't own) clothes/shoes fit?" "Will it match (insert company) resin?", "Can you take a pic of it next to your DZ, AoD, RD, AH and RS and with 14, 16 and 18mm eyes with a pink wig?" that's just too much. Asking general questions and making sure it is in the condition expected is good. I would much prefer a person ask me first about damage, just in case my idea of minor and theirs differ. Expecting me to do all of their research for them is not okay. That's what I meant by "frustrating waste of time", not legit questions about that specific doll. :)
       

    12. It is my understanding that once money has changed hands, then backing out or violating the agreed to terms of the contract by either party is no longer "flaky" but NEGATIVE behavior.




      Agreed as to recommended action, but this is not a flake - this is negative. And blaming you is adding insult to injury. This person's behavior is not only grounds for negative feedback, but is so outrageous and abusive that it might even earn a Marketplace suspension from the mods. In any event, you need to warn others - I for sure have no desire to enter a transaction with this person, and I assume I'm not alone in that!
       
    13. Yesterday, i have one personn who with 0 msg here and newbie here ask to sold unoa lusis via ebay O.o with no polite !

      Others ask to me a translation everytime and use the other shoping service than me... Each time, i will tell her/him i don't translate only for my regular buyers !!!!!!!!!!!!! I am really tired of this kind of personn who bother me for nothing !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
       
    14. OK, so what about a seller who posts an item for sale, you PM the person, wait a week for a reply, and you can see they've been on, send another PM asking if the item was still for sale, and if not, to please let you know.

      Seller writes back, and a bit rudely stating they don't have time to play on the interent so basically it's not like they just wait around to answer your questions...

      Overall it was just rude and put offish, and I just never replied after that. I checked the thread and the item I inquired about wasn't even listed anymore, so I just moved on.

      Where does that fall?
       
    15. I worked retail for years and I wouldn't be bothered if someone asked me for 100 photos and backed out. I'm just simply used to it. My very first job was selling very expensive shoes... it was definitely not rare for a man to come in and try on 30 pairs of dress shoes and not buy a single thing. I would rather have that kind of thing happen with a doll where I can keep the photos around for future questioners, but with the shoes I had to go put all of those BACK where I got them which sometimes took longer than getting them in the first place @.@

      As a buyer, I feel the exact same way. I would be VERY upset if I got feedback for being "flakey" when I was simply shopping. If I go to buy a shirt in the mall, darnit I will try it on! If it doesn't fit I ain't gonna buy it. That should go for anything. Nobody should ever feel obligated to spend money just for inquiring about a product.

      Also, I once inquired about a $200 commission and got fired from my job shortly after (I loved that job too T_T). When I sent them an email telling them the bad news and that I had to cancel, I was really... offended that they didn't reply and just removed me from their "currently commissioning" list on their page. Now, don't get me wrong, they hadn't started on the project yet and I had not given them any money yet. I would never back out of something unless I absolutely had to but come on. I got fired. As a seller would you rather someone cancel the order or go into credit card debt just to keep up a good face?

      It's one thing if someone's actually a flake, it's another if something bad happened rendering them unable to purchase. Hey, maybe someone wanted to buy a doll from you then their car broke down and had to use their saved up doll money to fix it?

      But the same thing goes for the "flakers". You guys should at least send a "I'm no longer interested but thank you for answering the questions." message. If you just... don't say anything that's monumentally rude.

      Edit: Oh god, I sound like a flake don't I?
       
    16. this pretty much sums up what i was trying to say. life happens, and so many people are out for blood that they forget that life happens. if it becomes habit, thats wrong. if it happens once, give the person a break.

      idk. its a lot of hassle over feedback. people make a HUGE deal over it on this site, and a lot of people are.... REALLY threatening about it sometimes. "WELL IM GONNA LEAVE YOU FLAKEY FEEDBACK"

      its rude, embarassing, and a lot of the times, unfair. This is going to turn into a huge rant, so I'm just going to end it here.

      if it means anything to you, starry ary, I don't think you were being flakey at all. That's my opinion, anyway.
       
    17. I don't know what category that falls under, but I've certainly had to deal with that in the past and it's always frustrating. It would be nice if people could just explain that an item is not available or something rather than just ignore you.

      I do understand that sometimes PMs don't go through and whatnot, but it seems unnecessarily rude for them to get mad at you for wanting to know what's going on.
       
    18. It does ^__^
      Being fairly new to DoA I didn't want people to start getting negative ideas before I even get access to the MP XD
       
    19. It falls under general rudeness, but since no money has changed hands nor has a sale even been discussed, it's certainly not a feedback situation.
       
    20. Definitely doesn't fall into flakey category, but general rudeness.
      I've had someone on here, that was selling a doll I was inquiring about. Same thing, I sent a pm telling them I was very serious about making them an offer that we could both work with, and that I was ready to buy.
      No answer.
      So like a week later, (noticing this person is still online meanwhile), I send them another pm saying "hey, I'm very interested and serious about buying" or something to that effect, knowing that maybe they didn't get it, or whatever, and of course, added the whole "sorry if you didn't get my last one, but blah blah blah" bit just in case.
      So they message me back saying they thought they found a buyer, and just...deleted the rest of the pm's.

      I was like O_o? Okay. But I just messaged them back happily about their reply, that it was now available (only reason she pm'd me back), and we started to negotiate. Replies were few and far apart, we were talking about commissions + money, plus things to trade/work with to make it even, and finally they just stopped replying all together.
      I was like w/e. If this person is not going to take the time to try to sell me an item I want to buy from them (That they obviously wanted to sell!), then I'll just take my money elsewhere, and that's what I did.
      And it's not like they fell off the face of the earth either. I watched, repeatedly as their green "online" dot was on, and hoping now was the chance (btw, always send read receipts), but it never came. So I figured, "to heck with them". The doll obviously wasn't meant for me, and I wasn't going to take my time to solve it.