Bjd shame

shame is something i rarely feel in this hobby, even though i take my dolls out in public a lot. Embarrassment, maybe, but its just a quick flash if i get in their way while im taking photos or something. my largely male household has attempted to shame me, but as an artist, i get to tell them that they are pieces of art to me. in public though, I get an even mix of folks, some who really love the dolls, and some who are scared or disgusted. as someone who was genuinely freaked out by dolls as a young adult, i get it. i, however, did a full 180 and started collecting after some life changing events. honestly, if i had known about bjds sooner though, i would've started much earlier in life. having only started in 2017, i feel i missed a lot.

 

After hearing a lot of stories for folks who felt shamed for their hobby due outdated gendered biases or other reasons, my heart goes out to y'all. I've been part of the community for about 20 years now, but I've always kept my BJDs stored away, mostly for safety and security. But it makes taking them out for special occasions feel even more satisfying IMO.

While we can't control other people's prejudices and reactions, I think it gives us insight into how we feel about ourselves and how our hobbies make us feel. And if you find that your hobby brings you joy and comfort, and it doesn't harm yourself or others, then that says more about the lack of insight/maturity of other people than of yourself.

TLDR Keep doing you! In this hobby, there's a place for everyone who wants to be part of it no matter where or when.

 

I dont feel shame but I do often feel the need to over explain the hobby so people don't get the wrong idea

 

I did feel a bit of shame taking my dolls out in public for photos until I went to Japan. Every cute cafe I went to had people taking photos with dolls, standees, figures or plushies so I didn't feel so alone!
With my local meetup group, we have safety in numbers haha

 

That's how I got into BJDs. I love art but as a guy I never gave much thought to dolls until one day I saw a Doll Chateau and I could only think of it as an articulated sculpture (honestly my first thought was "is this real?" I thought it was some 3D movie thing. I had no idea they got that big either). So there's sculpture and engineering and another dozen high-ceiling skills that go into making a finished doll. Doll-makers are some of the most diversely skilled artists I've seen so I have a lot of respect for this craft no matter if I can't share the enthusiasm with people outside the hobby.

 

I can get easily embarrassed about stuff but it's something I'm definitely working on because if it brings me joy, why should anyone else get to ruin that for me? But it's definitely a work in progress! I don't just tell anyone I've got dolls LOL thankfully I've got a good group of supportive friends (several who have Barbies and other dolls) so that helps me feel better. Good for you for getting into dolls, stigma be darned!

 

I can feel wee bit of shame at times when I think about other things I can be putting my money towards, but I know as long as I only spend an allotted amount on dolls and delegate appropriate amounts to other important sects I’ll be fine. In life, your happiness is a reward in of itself and if dolls make you happy, then love dolls! You’re no less or more shameful than someone who blows money of luxury cars or clothes. Society only holds those things in higher regard because they aren’t niche interests, but they are just as impractical to your daily life.

 

When I started to collect BJDs, I kept pretty much to myself. Then I kind of lost my passion for the hobby. This time around I'd like to participate more in the online community, but I still prefer not to talk about my dolls in real life

 

Re my dolls my family and friends thoughts range from "They are creepy" to "If it's what makes you happy" with only a couple actually liking them and taking an interest. They are mine .... not theirs. I paid for them. If I like them .... that's all that matters.

 

If you ever want to do some IRL doll talk, DOA has a great Meetup section. There's active meetups happening all over the world over there. I've been to a couple so far and had a blast.

 

Thank you. That's a great resource! I'll have to give it some thought. Maybe someday I'll give it a try.