BJDs only for "nerds/weirdos/perverts"?

Has anyone ever thought you were a pervert for your hobby?
Weird maybe. But definitely not a pervert. Friends are kinda amused by my obsessions with BJDs

Ever talked to someone who thought they were fetish like?
Yeah! My boss's boss! He thought that they were sex dolls till I explained to him. But he still likes to tease that they are sex dolls. -rolls eyes-

Sexual in any way?
Not really. As my boys are modeled after my fav anime/manga characters, I am definitely attracted by their beauty and style but not in a sexual way

Been labeled a "nerd" or "weirdo" for your hobby.
Never been labeled a nerd cos I just do not look the part. As for weirdo, I get that label all the time! Friends and colleagues think I am 'insane'. It doesn't help that I work in the financial industry, which is typically devoid of creativity.

Do you consider yourself a nerd or a weirdo for this hobby?
A nerd and a rabid fangirl, yes.

 

Has anyone ever thought you were a pervert for your hobby?
For the dolls? Not that I'm aware of. I'd say the scantily clad PVC figures and posters I used to own would be the reasons I would be called a pervert. Or would have since I don't have any anymore. :P

Ever talked to someone who thought they were fetish like?
Not yet. But I keep my dolls at home in my room basically - they dont get out much. I never thought of EGL as fetish wear but all the guys I knew certainly seemed to find it to be a fetish... which was creepy and a big reason I got turned off the fashion. e_e So perhaps I'm just missing the vocalization of these thoughts by not bringing my dolls out.

Sexual in any way?
No, not unless the owner makes them out to be that way and even then it's a viewpoint issue... but my brother being a brother has to do horrible things to anything I own and once positioned my MSD in a sexual position because he thinks its hilarious (He did this to my Final Fantasy figures once too =_=). I was extremely upset and freaked out over it. I think the people who see the dolls - especially the immature and not sexually suggestive styled dolls - and think sexual right off the bat may have their own underlying problems. Sexy =/= Sexual either as others have mentioned.

Been labeled a "nerd" or "weirdo" for your hobby.
Like many others, these labels were earned for other hobbies. The dolls are just considered my creepiest by some since they're scared of them lol.

Do you consider yourself a nerd or a weirdo for this hobby?
No. Doll collecting - not weird, quite common. I consider my doll hobby just another facet of my love of art, fashion, cute and pretty things. Once again, I consider other aspects of mine to be what may make me weird if anything.

 

has anyone ever thought you were a pervert for your hobby?
I do not really think I am a percert for my hobby because I think this is a wonderful hobbit. I get to see the beautiful thing and further be able to developed more hobbit for it such as sewing and knitting. I

Ever talked to someone who thought they were fetish like?
Yes, but after discussion most of the topic end up that we are all pretty normal.

Sexual in any way?
Not really. Most my doll is like kid or teenager. I do not think they are sexual in any way. I do not even think they are Japanese sex doll or anything like that. They are just beautiful that I really appreciate the beauty of it.
Been labeled a "nerd" or "weirdo" for your hobby.
Not really. My friend just got amazed by how much I am willing to spend on the dolls.
Do you consider yourself a nerd or a weirdo for this hobby?
Not at all. I think I am perfectly fine. There are all kinds of people that are willing to collect pricy bags, cars and all kind of things. We just spend money in a different way.

 

My questions are, has anyone ever thought you were a pervert for your hobby?
No, if anything it's the perverts who ask that xP My roommate did make fun of me after he saw a certain episode of the TV series "Taboo" which had to do with "love dolls" but he was just being sarcastic... We have a sick sense of humor when we're around each other


Ever talked to someone who thought they were fetish like?
Nope, I've been lucky enough to not have to deal with that. Though I just know the second I get a Dollmore Lusion like I so dream, some comments may start popping up OTL OTL.


Sexual in any way?
No, if anything it's the random non-doll people who comment that are the perverts :P


Been labeled a "nerd" or "weirdo" for your hobby.
Actually it's my dolls who are labeled weird xD Poor resins... Then again, I have many peculiar hobbies, so anyone who knows me tends to brush it off. And those who don't are actually really fascinated by them


Do you consider yourself a nerd or a weirdo for this hobby?
Nah... I mean, what is the definition of "nerd," anyways? Not ten years ago if you were an avid computer user you were a "nerd." And fifteen years ago you were labeled a "nerd" for playing video games. You're a "nerd" by media standards no matter what you do, it just takes them a while to see you're instead a trendsetter xD

 

While I am sure the majority of people have not experienced this, please do not instantly disregard this situation for being ludicrous because it has genuinely happened to me concerning a doll I wish to own.




Also please do not reply with:
"Why let other people's opinions bother you" and similar.
We are all familiar with that adage and it will not add anything valuable to this discussion.
This person's opinion is bothering me because this person is close to me and it is "cheapening" the doll in a way that makes me uncomfortable.

​

Story

A comment was made to myself with no malicious intent or judgement of myself by someone close to me. It conveyed the message that although I clearly wanted a doll for "normal" "doll liking" reasons, that the doll I wanted was designed for men for purposes of sexual gratification and not for girls with "pretty dolly" motivations.


The doll that sparked the conversation was IH nYID Bianca and the photograph that sparked it was this one:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/5thavenuevixens/7678493750/

(A completely work safe headshot)
which was described by the above mentioned person as looking "seductive".
(I have replaced the more vulgar word actually used)


I was then asked if they were anatomically correct and of course answered that they are.
I was then asked if I knew about Japansese love dolls. These dolls are not "news" to me but I don't know anything about them as such. I ignored the question and simply said "these are just dolls, they're intended for girls" (I am fully aware that some males enjoy BJDs for the same reasons girls do, but mentioning this would not have helped in this case).


I was not really worried by this person's comments at first, they were just ignorant comments with no intention to make me upset or uncomfortable and they didn't stop me showing more pictures of dolls that I would like to own.


I then went to the official Iplehouse website to show the new Audrey YID which I also love and unfortunately for the conversation the majority of the promo pictures involve lingerie.
http://www.iplehouse.net/shop/step1.php?number=2832

(Mature sculpt female doll in lingerie)


This person was not offended by the dolls, but clearly indicated with comments and knowing smiles regarding the physique of the doll and the outfits that they were intended for "male perverts" (my judgemental wording, not the words of the person in question).


The reason this has bothered me enough to stick with me days later and make this post is really that I had no good come backs to explain to this person that they were mistaken and the target audience is not looking for these dolls for sexual gratification. I could think of no convincing explanation for why Audrey's promo pictures involve so much lingerie (I do know it is because both the doll and the lingerie were released at the same time so the pics are advertising both products, but that hardly covers it convincingly.)


Please do not read into this that I am a prude and offended by sexy shots of dolls. On the contrary I enjoy seductive pictures of adult dolls both male and female, I just wish I could explain to this person that heterosexual girls can still appreciate sexy photos of beautiful female dolls without it being sexually arousing.



My questions to you are:

1) have you ever had a similar experience with a similarly ignorant person?

2) do you have any advice for how I can show/explain to this person that the intent of mature sculpted BJDs is not sexual?
(One idea that has since occurred to me is that the existence of "love dolls" disproves the idea that people would want BJDs for sexual reasons: if you wanted a doll for that, you would buy a love doll.)

 

My questions to you are:

1) have you ever had a similar experience with a similarly ignorant person?

Yeah, while most of my experiences have been positive, there have been one or two people who react with all of the tact and maturity of a five year old who has just discovered bodily functions.

2) do you have any advice for how I can show/explain to this person that the intent of mature sculpted BJDs is not sexual?
(One idea that has since occurred to me is that the existence of "love dolls" disproves the idea that people would want BJDs for sexual reasons: if you wanted a doll for that, you would buy a love doll.)

My standard answer is that these dolls are ART. The Venus de Milo is topless, but no one would ever say that she was created solely so that some pervert could get his kicks.

 

I guess since I'm almost 30 and a Mom....I've never really had to deal with that. I'm also not one to put my own dolls in lingerie and I don't show websites to anyone. I love that picture btw, simply gorgeous!

Now my sister's reaction to a Dollshe.....oh that was priceless.

 

My response would have been a rather crass, "Pretty hard to f* a 20" tall solid resin doll with no orifices." and been done with it.

They're not comparable to love dolls because love dolls were created for obvious sexual usage, and there is nothing wrong with that. Hell, there's nothing wrong if someone does fetishize their BJD. But BJDs were created with a much broader audience in mind with much broader applications. Of course, I'd also want to know why was the target only male perverts. Are women not allowed to enjoy cheesecake photography? Are women not allowed to enjoy Renaissance nudes?

 

That is new to me...well not the "love doll" thing, but the response a person would give or receive in regards to a bjd.

I guess the only thing you could do, is just get the doll and prove it is NOT what your friend/companion thinks it is. People will think what they think though...I guess there's no way to really put that until you actually have the doll home.

I wish I had better advice.

LOL oh man...that had me going for a while. I think I love you...in a non sexual way.

 

My mother reacted similarly to mature dolls when introduced to them. I started out in the hobby with immature minis and tinies, so to learn of mature dolls was kind of a shock to her. Specially when I told her I want one. Ironically, she had this reaction even before knowing they were anatomically correct and without seeing them in lingerie or similar "sexualized" attire. She just kind of viewed it as, "If it has a mature body, it is for a 'mature' audience.", though she didn't actually say 'mature'... She used the phrase 'trashy'.

Of course I disagreed. My argument was that it was just like everyday life. All dolls have different bodies, different proportions, different skin colors and different facial features. Some of those happen to be mature, some immature, some fantasy. That it doesn't necessarily mean sexual and even if it did, sexual really isn't a bad thing and sexual can be quite beautiful too.

I compared it to her to how a model may be able to pull off a cute look, a tough look, a sexual look or any sort of look but that doesn't mean that image was created for one target audience. I also reminded her of some of our shared favorite photographs and famous portraits that were of nude models, that the pictures purposely had a sexual intention, that the artist was trying to express sexuality but that it was in a beautiful and artistic way and not a pornographic way meant to be for arousal.

It was really that last paragraph that got her to look at them differently. She accepts my want of a mature doll now. That being said, she still hates the ones she sees that she thinks look 'trashy' or that were purposely posed and photographed in a sexually vulgar manner and I can't blame her for that, she's entitled to her own opinion and is allowed to have things she thinks are uncomfortable to look at.

 

@Kim: For once, I agree with you.

Not sure how much help I'll be... since I got mad and almost got to the point of yelling at the chick who made an off-hand crack in that regard. She thought she was making a funny joke, because it had got around that my doll was anatomically correct, but the doll was meant to be a teenager, whereas I'm a bit older (enough to be creepy if I dated someone that age).

(It was somewhat common in my relationship with that particular girl. She wasn't a bad person but had an immature streak and did little crap just to piss me off.)

Best advice? Don't get mad. Make it clear you think the person has just said something incredibly idiotic. Because they did. Anybody who knows anything about BJD wouldn't make remarks like that.

 

It concerns me that when some people see these dolls...the first thing that they think is "sex doll"...

 

My dad is notorious for making immature comments about everything,so it didn't come as a surprise when my boy came and dad made a comment about his 'junk'. xD All in all I just ignore it or make a smart ass comment. :3

As Kim said,it's kind of hard to have sex with something that's made of resin and has no working 'parts'. I suppose someone could always wank to it but porn is cheaper if they wanted to do that. xD I don't think you'll have much trouble setting her straight about it once you have the doll though,especially since you said she wasn't trying to be mean about it. ^_^

 

1) have you ever had a similar experience with a similarly ignorant person?
Ignorance is everywhere, sadly.

2) do you have any advice for how I can show/explain to this person that the intent of mature sculpted BJDs is not sexual?
I would ask them why they thought that mature sculpted BJDs were designed for similar intents as Japanese love dolls. What kind of evidence they had, other than some sort of preconceived notion that Japanese are hentai. Because clearly, as has already been mentioned, you can't exactly ride a 20" doll. I would concede that there may be a very small minority that might get some voyeuristic gratification from looking at small, pretty, idealized people, but by no means do thousands and thousands of people spend thousands upon thousands of dollars on this. BJD businesses cater to a very different niche, as can be observed if they spent any time at all in this forum.

I would courteously ask such people not to jump to conclusions about my dolls because it doesn't make me feel very happy. I would tell them the truth; that these dolls are worth a lot to me and it hurts when prejudiced comments are made. If he or she spent any time actually looking around the BJD community, he or she would realize that the reasons why we get them are myriad but are usually not centered around sexual gratification. And, even if they are to a certain extent, I would ask him/her why it should bother them. Sex is a healthy, wonderful thing. Even if I didn't get my dolls for that purpose, if someone's desires were being fulfilled in a safe and legal way, the more the merrier.

 

... I kinda had the opposite experience. My office mate seems a bit disappointed that they are too small to ride.
I kicked him out of the office once he starts with the dirty jokes.

 

Pat pat you for having to go through such unpleasant conversation. I would be upset. You are cool enough to analyse that the person didn't mean to upset you, though, which I respect.

I am new to BJDs, but here's my answer.

Not really this blatantly ignorant, but it displays a quite similar notion. I showed my SoulKid doll to a friend last week, and she looked in awe and adoration, then said "Oh boy, it's so detailed, I bet some perverted persons would buy this doll for the different purpose than yours." I was so shocked, but it could be true.

However, just the fact that some people MIGHT be perverted enough to look at BJDs in a sexual way does not mean that the original purpose of BJDs (mature sculpts) is for such purpose.

And since I totally agree with your idea:

I strongly disagree with your friend's saying. Moreover, BJDs are, in my opinion, far too expensive to just buy for sexual satisfaction. If someone is so sexually desperate, I don't think the first thing that comes to their mind would be go buy a BJD, borrow a BJD, or look at BJD pics. It would be far more common, and easy, to just search for stuff or do things like normal people do to er...., well...., to satisfy their sexual need. (Like watching, reading magazine or playing game that are p_rn related.)

Also, the beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, and one cannot force others to see and perceive things like they want. Take cosplay photos for example. When looking at the same photo, some people focus on the costume, some on the likeness of the cosplayer to the character, some on how neat the makeup is, and some might just try to look at the cosplayer as a sexual object, whether or not the costume is revealing or not. It's their own attitude and perception. Having someone looking at something as a sexual object does not dictate that the object is intended for sexual use.

As for the promo pics being sexy and stuff, I think it's just a way of marketing.
(Sorry, something came up, I gotta leave my reply at this and come back to add to it later.)

 

Why do you even need a comeback? It says a great deal more about the mind of the person who's first thought upon seeing them was that a DOLL was a sex toy than the person who owns said doll.

Also, what Kim said. People are idiots and see what they want to see.

 

My questions are, has anyone ever thought you were a pervert for your hobby?

I don't think so.

Ever talked to someone who thought they were fetish like?

No, but I've read stories of other people who have been confronted by people who think that. I just don't understand that logic. Maybe the people who think that BJDs are a fetish are the perverted ones...

Sexual in any way?

No, I don't think they are sexual unless it is implied. However, my mom thought that the default outfit on my Soom Amber with "too skimpy" and that she was "hanging out of the dress". I just blew it off because Amber's one of the most innocent-looking mature dolls imo, yet some people still think it's sexual.

Been labeled a "nerd" or "weirdo" for your hobby.

I haven't, but I'm sure that I would be by some of my old high school classmates.

Do you consider yourself a nerd or a weirdo for this hobby?

No. I just like expensive dolls *shrugs* And I don't think that's much different than people who spend the same amount on designer shoes or sunglasses. Personally, I wouldn't spend my money on it, but I'm not going to call them a nerd or weirdo :P

 

This really upset me when my sister called me a pervert because she wasn't expecting my doll to be naked when she arrived at my house. She'd even do that when i was five and i'd take all the clothes off all my barbie dolls so my favorite doll could have more outfits.

Seriously, why are we weird when there's tons! of doll collectors out there, but we just like the resin ones? It's not like i actually act weird or perverted when I explain my doll to my friends. It's just a hobby. Everyone likes different things. If someone thinks I'm weird for it, so be it.