Bonding and YOU.

Your Gabriel is truly beautiful, congrats!
Where could I find some pictures of him?

 

I think I'm bonding - I want to take Simon and Maeve everywhere I go.

I feel bad putting him in my backpack to go to work but I haven't made a proper bag for them yet (but I got him last Thursday so maybe I should cut myself some slack).

If I go out and leave them at home, Simon somehow turns his head in my direction with this little beseeching look of "Take me with you".

Wow...I'm insane...

 

I've read many things on bonding here. And I have seen that bonding is really a personal thing. I guess i'm having some issues of my own though that I could use suggestions for. I'm sure we've seen a million people with bonding issues but I never thought I'd be one asking for advice...even after all that I have read

Well...every since I got my DoD Too (Juyoku) my Luts Shiwoo (Nozomi) has sat in his box untouched. I think of taking Juyoku out all the time. I play with him and make clothes for him. I carry him around every where and even tuck him into bed ops: but poor Nozomi...I mean I was so excited when he got here but even then I would just put him in his box most of the time. Im thinking...maybe I really never bonded with him. I'm not sure if it's just because I can get things for Juyoku a lot easier than for Nozomi or what. Clothes and shoes are cheaper for minis...not to mention you can find clothes for them at your local target and I have found perfect shoes in many colors at a local trinket/doll shop. Things for Nozomi are so hard to come by though...I dont think Ill ever be able to buy him nice things because SD shoes and such can be SO expensive...

There is only one other reason I can think of as to why this isnt working. Maybe...I really dont like large dolls. I have the story of my buying an MSD Ken whom I loved and missed after selling for a SD Nono who I just...couldnt stick with. I always thought it was because she was a girl but...Im thinking maybe this is a size thing now...
My friend said it best when I told her "dont let him just sit in the box if you think he isnt right for you...someone else could be loving him and playing with him like you do Juyoku" -sighs- I dont know what kind of response I expect for this but...if it really is that Im not bonded Im guessing the best thing to do would be to find him a new home and stick with Minis....I mean...how many large dolls do you go through before you make the choice that they arent for you...
If you made it through my rant...thank you...and Im VERY sorry to all for posting another bonding thing...

 

*hugs* you could try to bond with him more.. take him out intentionally and maybe let him play with Juyoku. maybe they would bond too! Take some time, and if it really doesn't work, then it might be best to find him a new home.. i would agree with what your friend said about not letting a doll stay in the box when someone else could be loving him more.. *pats* i'm sure there're a lot of these situations too ne..

 

This is totally OT, but I thought from the title you were talking about some kinky S&M.

Give Nozomi some more time, I suppose, and maybe you'll rekindle your love for him. You've arrived at a pretty logical conclusion, and maybe larger dolls just aren't for you, but I'd hate for you to get rid of a doll before you're totally sure, you know? Best of luck to both of you!

 

LOL oops...didnt want to just slap on bonding issues because that is such an over used topic that could make mine be over looked as a result. Thought I would spice it up a bit^^;
I guess..I should wait longer and see what happens. Ive only had Nozomi for a month. Maybe Ill see if I cant get more out of this a bit before I make a final choice. Its just hard when...Ive been doing things with Juyoku since he arrived but even though I was excited with Nozomi...I didnt do nearly the things I do for Juyoku for him. Its so hard to make a choice like this when you are unsure.

 

I don't do things with my dolls all the time, but I do leave them out where I can see them all the time, even when I'm not doing anything with the doll in question. That way I can still enjoy them. Perhaps if you were to sit him out where you could see him, and even sit the little fellow on his lap.... that way he will at least be in your mind.


Ken

 

Maybe if you set up a little routine with him so he gets out more. Maybe change his clothes daily, or take him out to watch a particular tv show with you, or have him eat dinner with you.

 

:3nod:
(Durn Gaia!)

I can never ever ever put my dolls away. All six of them are out in my room somewhere - on my computer, on my dresser, cuddled in an armchair. I couldn't bear to hide them away. =^^=;;

 

I think Kagami made an excellent suggestion - have them together, and have quality play time together - lots of posing them together, take pictures - and if shoes are an issue, have them both barefoot (a trick I use when shoes are a problem). You may find that you'll like the two sizes together more than you thought. I know it's hard, when you feel like you should love a doll more than you're feeling you do. Guilt sucks. So, give it a little more time, while trying to include him more, and then if you really feel like it's not the right fit, you can see that he goes to a family where he'll be happier. Good luck, and let us know what happens. Maybe we'll see pics of the two of them? (hope?) (sends hugs your way)

 

otherunicorn & Valentine- Yea I dont always do things with Juyoku but he is always in at least the same room as me...This morning I took him without even thinking of Nozomi with me downstairs -guilt-

Taco- It would probably help if he had more than one outfit to wear (his black one I made him I had thought stained him but it washed off thank God @_@) I seem to be terrible at finding patterns to make clothes that work for him or adjusting them to work...and they are so expensive to buy for SDs it seems...

StephG - Yea Im going to try somemore today because I actually have a bunch of pictures of them together. I find that I think they are cute when they are just sitting together (like him in Nozomis lap) but other than that...they seem awkward together. Juyoku seems TOO small for Nozomi so having them do a lot together bugs me =.=' Maybe the size really is the issue...

-runs to tear Nozomi out of the box hes been in for a week- Ill try again. Thanks all -hugs-

 

Maybe all it takes is more time. But, if it comes down to it that you just aren't bonding with Nozomi, then it's probably okay to give him up, because someone else will love him just as much.

 

I see you're getting a lot of suggestions as to further bonding... but honestly... maybe you just DO like minis better... and there's nothing wrong with that!

People don't always realize what's wrong right away! You can always sell off the boy you aren't playing with and buy back an MSD Ken if you regret that sale.

It's ok to realize certain kinds of dolls aren't for you! XD

 

While I never had a larger BJD I did really want one and was almost sad having to 'settle' for a MSD for the time being. Since getting her tho I've sort of lost interst in getting myself a large BJD. I saw a bung in person at cons and things and while I still think they are cool and may get one someday, I think minis are the dolls for me. No shame in that!

But I agree with whats already been said. Try putting the dolls somewhere where you can see them all the time instead of in thier box if you can. I know for awhile I thought I wasn't bonding well with my doll and considered selling her for a different one but then I got her all set up in my room and I see her all the time and now sometimes I'll look over and see her and pick her up just to watch TV or even just to take a nap >___>; We have deffinantly bonded more and now I can't even imagine trading her for anything!

 

Thanks everyone! I have been trying to play with him and suddenly the life I see in Juyoku is just not there with Nozomi...Im giving him the weekend and planning on playing with him as much as I can. But...well...I was eyeing the DoD site for wigs and saw U and kinda...well..Im stuck on him now. My husband told me if I sold Nozomi I could get him. And I actually went "Oh my God cool!!!" and that when I figured that Nozomi honestly doesnt mean as much to me as my other boy. Ah well. Thanks for all your suggestions. I have a big feeling that Nozomi will need a new home though..

 

I don't know that I'd actually consider myself bonded to any of my dolls (including non-BJDs), but I do enjoy them on different levels. I can relate to your experience in that I've sometimes gottened dolls that just didn't end up thrilling me as much in person. I always give myself a little time to really decide, but I usually end up selling them so that the doll dollars can be appiled to something new. Overall, I think I like the SDC/MSD size best, but when I saw Volks Heath (SD13) on their site, I started to picture him with all kinds of props...a nice upholstered chair...a lavish velvet draped bed...astride a horse. In my mind's eye, I saw him some sort of English Lord, even before I was lucky enough to get him. But my attraction to Heath doesn't seem to extend to other as large. I think helped make me desire him was that he inspired me at first sight, and he seemed more male than any other BJDs I've seen.

I'm not familar with the DOD doll you're talking about getting, or the one you're thinking of selling either. But if you feel you're more drawn to the MSD size, then I say stick with that. Should you find yourself mooning over the larger dolls in the future, perhaps make a list of the pros & cons of adding said doll to your collection.

Good Luck! :grin:

Hugs, Juli DC

 

I am curious if anyone else has founf this to be true,
I collect mainly CP dolls for some reason I am really drawn to them. but i noticed that the few dolls i do have that are not cp dolls I cannot seem to bond with. im not sure why, but they just dont speak to me the same. has anyone else found they have a particular doll maker that they bond with easier??

 

i'm the opposite of you. I find it easier with my volks dolls but not my CP luts boy...but well currently i'm trying to bond with him. it's a slow process but it's worth it for me i guess.