Bonding and YOU.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, actually...

My first doll was Sway (SA Hound). And although I think his shell is - sometimes litterally - breathtakingly beautiful...it still doesn't click. The warning signs were there from the start. It's lovely, it's just that Sway still hasn't meshed with it - and thus, most of the time, Sway the character is still in my head, and the Hound is just a doll -_-. It's very frustrating, and something will have to be done.

Because he was my first, I thought maybe I just wasn't the type of person who bonded really closely with their bjds - I mean, I could think of selling him without a twitch, from day one - but really, I thought that was just how it was, so it wasn't a big issue. And then Luca arrived, and she was very much alive, as a doll, which made Sway seem even less to live in the body I bought for him...he only seemed to come alive in photos. Still - Luca wasn't a pre-designed character, so I still thought maybe that was all the bonding I'd get when I had a character so deeply in my mind already...

And then Sash came. And the moment I opened the box, I realised my mistake. I love him to bits - he's always on my lap or in my arms - the mere thought of selling him makes me cold - and despite being a pre-designed character, he inhabits his shell so completely that he might as well be a the doll, now.

So yes - I've had a non-bonding experience, and an incredable bonding experience...and the non-bonding really bothers me, and my aim is to remedy it asap...

 

I consider myself bonded with my dolls-Im having issues with my Too, but I think its more to do with wigs and costumes, he's not quite 'Loren' yet, whereas my Bee-A rubbished the character and name I gave her, and became 'No-Nonsense' Lenore.
Ive bonded more with Lenore since I got the twins as she's undeniably cute, and I find I always pose her in a certain way...the way SHE wants to pose, the way a girl like her would sit.
Loren I nearly had a breakthrough with a while back with a long blonde wig-Im going to have to spend more time on him. I sueded his knee-joints, but that didnt help much-I know if I did it to Lenore Id probably end up cuddling her all day, while her brother is neglected (Its something I actually feel guilty about)

But I loved them both straight out of the box. Not sure how that'l work for the disembodied El head Im buying soon, but you never know. Maybe I can wrap some pipe-cleaners round a Milk Bottle, pop him on top and he can become Milky Joe, with twiggy little arms, no butt and no legs....

Having said that, if some disaster occurred, and there was NO OTHER WAY of getting the money (and I try everything) I am ready to have to part with them. But Ive been careful, so nothing silly like a late bill or an overdraft breach will make me sell.

 

I always thought I had "bonded" with my boy. He was here, I thought he was gorgeous, it worked.

But the last few days I've been playing with him a bit more. I had made him a stupid little sock sleveeless tee and now it's winter I started to feel he'd get "cold". So I sewed on some very crappy sleeves. suddenly, seeing him in something at least a bit similar to the baggy long sleeved tops I always thought he'd wear I just went XD

Now I feel like I'm really attached to him. it's really very nice ^_^

 

I thought I was bonded to my Obitsu, Isabeau with her Haruka head and large bust, but I had such a hard time finding wigs..that it was frustrating..but now that I changed her back to a normal bust plate and bought her Soony head, with a wonderful faceup...she is just beautiful...I bought her some wigs..and I am just enchanted with her..now i want to change bodies to a 2 part one so she can show some belly..maybe get a belly piercing..

My Dollzone Lucia, took a while to bond with, he remainded "faceless" for a while and when I started his face up..which took alot of tries..I was so frustrated that I even considered selling him...but now he's done, I think he is so kewl looking...my sensitive boy..and wouldn't sell him now.

With my Sharmin Rhidian, I was just in love when I took her out of her box..it was almost like Xmas...I took my time opening the box..and just held her and looked her over for almost an hour...

My Elfdoll is gone to a new home, but I have pics of her...and my Dm Rosee Asha is now "Pippin" my little Punk elf...
After getting my Dim Odelia I almost sold her but after dressing her up and taking pictures, I have fallen for her..she is quite lovely..and I fixed those pesky wrist wires..

 

I'll tell the story of the only doll I actually have, physically... XD And right now he's just a head.

I bought Boe from the lovely batchix thinking he would be nothing more than a practice head, so that I wouldn't ruin a more expensive piece of resin with experiments. But within ten minutes after opening the box, I realized my folly... XD Even with my challenged sculpy eyes in, he had this expression that was like, "I hate my life D:", as if he knew what he was and what his purpose was.
I took him to Matsuricon, and even though he was nothing but an ugly head with his headcap taped on, I felt protective of him, especially since he looked so homely compared to all the other well-dressed, well-groomed, full-bodied dolls XDD
So, what started as a practice head became a character - and that character needs a body. He'll be a complete doll fairly soon, I think :3 P'raps over the summer.

 

I bonded with Kazutaka immediately out of the box. Our eyes met and up until then I had feared I made a big mistake. But it was perfect. He was so bossy looking and at first he seemed to act that way, but now we're great friends.

Lily, however, was an impulse buy and I thought about selling her for weeks. When I looked at her in Kazutaka's arms, though...he seemed to glare at me as if to say, "You made a commitment to her. She's an orphan and if you desert her I will hate you forever."

So I kept her out of love for Kazutaka. But eventually we bonded, and I was quite glad I didn't sell her. I love my little Lily (Lilsy, as I frequently call her) and couldn't sell her or Kazu-chan.

Now I'm expecting a Mythdoll Little Leroi who will become my muse from an original story I'm writing. Kazutaka was based on an anime character, Lily made herself a personality, and now an original personality that has only been in my head is soon to be born into a doll's body. I can't wait, because this doll will be completely mine as I have to string and paint him myself.

So we will see how that turns out. Originally I had thought to make Tema a DoD Si, but they're so expensive and I wanted something I could put myself into. :3

 

I felt bonded with my first doll, Annabelle, from the second I took her out of the box.

I think I bought my second doll, Nae, too soon after the first though. I didn't really want to get another so soon, but Christmas and my birthday came up and mom said she'd pay for most of one as my present. Nae came early, near the end of November, and it wasn't until late March that I actually felt bonded with her. I just started making some better clothes for her, and she really grew on me

 

i am so jealous of Enchantress and Taco, who have had my boys since mid-April! i've this irrational feeling (?) that the dolls will bond to them instead of me, and won't want to come home!

 

I am amid of selling yet another head, and this one's more difficult then I had frist thoght.

I had brought a RML-head from here earlier, and when I got him, I realised that he wouldn't fit into my doll family. For one thing his face was rather small for my prefences.

And so I set about perparing to put him on the marketplace forum.
I gave him a really nice gothy-looking face up with eyes to match.(custom made "Mother-of-pearl")
He gave me a bit of troble when I scrached his face-up with a pin while trying to put eyelashes on him. And I had spend quite a bit of time trying to hide the boo-boo. ^_^;;;

I love his face-up, (even though it's my own, and I still think I need more pratice.)
It was my first attempt at painting lower eye lashes and useing some new methods that I discovered for myself.
The whole face-up was inspired by Satoko Ohno, but with heavier blushing and colors.....


*sniff* My baby-boy is leaving me.

Someone had Pm'd me wanting to buy him, and I didn't think that I'd get so emotional over selling him, I didn't think that anyone would have been intrested,...and I'm trying to justify in letting him go.
I need the money to pay the rest of the body that was going to be his.
and also, to pay part of a Micheal-head that comes with his defult eyes/Wig.


Has anyone else had this problem? Last moment Bonding with a doll your about to sell?

 

I only have one dollie, and so I am as of yet to even consider selling her.
I can imagine that it must be tough, but I suppose there is no way that you can hang onto him now.
to answer your question, no I have never had your problem.
and I wish you luck in your farewell.

 

Oh goodness... that sounds terrible. Maybe you can find some way to pay for the body and still get to keep him?

 

Yes- I have been in this exact same situation.

I got a juri head from Luts when I ordered my first boy, and I took one look at it and hated it. I kept it in a box, and eventually decided to sell her. First though, I decided to try a face-up on her, just becuase I hadn;t done one before.

So, I painted her up, and suddenly I loved her. I couldn;t even wipe the face- let alone think of selling her....


I would say keep him for a week and see how you feel. If you have a concrete buyer, then you should sell him as you made a commitment, but if (as I think it is) the person in only interested and no money has changed hands, then keep him- I'm sure the person will understand...

 

"but if (as I think it is) the person in only interested and no money has changed hands, then keep him- I'm sure the person will understand..."

I have to agree with this. I think as long as no money has changed hands it's your right to change your mind. What changed for you and your little guy was well...you breathed life into him when you did his face. He's a part of you now and so I would say give yourself a week or two to determine if you are ready to send him to a new home, or if you're more interested in seeing more in the character you just gave birth to.

Good luck.

Christal

 

oh my that's sad. Seeing as I have yet not even ordered my first dolly I wouldn't know how you feel. I'm sorry to hear this happen to you though.

 

When I first receieved Kyo, I wasn't even too into dollfies. Yuni was absolutely smitten with him, so I helped with funding so that we could bring Kyo home.

When I first laid eyes on him, I stared. He was naked. He stared too. "Hell you looking at?" kind of stare. Well, guess that was really our relationship.

Well, I tried to bond with him showing him all the things that I liked. Tennis, he wasn't into. Said the outfits weren't his thing.

Video games, he liked. Watching and playing. And criticizing.

Our bond is not the cutesy love bond I wanted to have with him, I guess. However, I think our personalities are like that and I respect the way we treat each other, even if we don't respect each other.

This is not always applicable and it's not written in stone, but I feel that any dolls that I get from now on with Yuni... I won't be so nicey nicey goody because that's not the way I am.

Whether the relationship is love or hate, tense, relaxed- whether your conversations are meaningful journeys through life's twists and turns, or perhaps heated banter... I feel that the most fulfilling relationship with a doll can be developed by simply living your life normally... with someone new in it.

 

Hahaha I don't think I'm alone anymore! I also do those kind of stuff XD

Only God knows how much I love Cloud. And sometimes I even pray to God, for preventing something bad were to happen to him. Not just bcoz he's Cloud. I luv the doll as well. And when the first time he came, he already established his own personality that I cannot change. And I'm considered him as my friend, not just toys. Sometimes I'm able to see whether he's sad or happy. It's displayed on his face....
Almost everyday, I hug him, pat him, caressing his back and gives him a goodnight kiss before I go to bed.
But seriously, doing that can alleviate your stress

 

I'm pretty sure I won't have a problem bonding with my doll. I already love her. If the face up isn't what I like I think I'll still love her even then. It's more the idea of her I love, the way I've planned her in my head so I won't be too mad if she doesn't look the part when I get her, it just might take time.

 

Hmm.. i'm not sure.
December is lovely.
But i've constantly wondered if i really have bonded with him or not.
I swear i have post natal depression but with a doll xD
I'm not sure what to do about it. I hope that as i get him new things and change his look etc, i'll warm to him more. But it's not instant love unfortunately.
I have thought about maybe letting someone else who will love him more than i do have him. But i don't know..

 

I never liked dolls as a little girl, they just seemed boring and faintly creepy. Most dolls that were large enough to be hugged and a 'companion' were modeled after toddlers or babies. Even worse were the Cabbage Patch kid-like faces, that were so cartoony and unrealistic. So I never really played with dolls.

Then, a few years ago, I saw my first ABJD on DeviantArt. I believe it was actually Linsey's . At first I thought Gee, that's really kind of weird. They're so expensive and what can you really do with them? They are pretty though.... So, not knowing what I was getting into, I started looking at different doll sites.

Everything I saw was just 'oh, he's cute/handsome/whatever' until I stumbled onto Luts. Page two, that darn Shiwoo looked me straight in the eyes and basically sucker punched me. I saved for him for two years, and waited another year to actually purchase him.

I'd decided that he would be the embodiment of a character of mine, and that maybe that would help me bond with him. This character was positive and kind, if a little bit impetuous. Kind of 'cute' in a more adult way. I figured he'd fit a Shiwoo. But after the payment was accepted I almost had a panic attack. How could I do that! It's so much money! I don't even like dolls! What the heck am I going to do with him!?

When I opened the box Vale's personality totally overwhelmed the predetermined character I had thought I was getting. Vale was sassy, had a mouth like a trucker, and was a bit of a clothes horse. I honestly had NO clue where this personality had developed from, but we clicked immediately. I couldn't stop adjusting his wig or holding his hand. Against all probability I learned that the boy loved to just sit and read and cuddle. Not a part of the original character at all, but very VERY Vale.

So, yeah. Things don't always go the way you plan them. But sometimes the unexpected is even better than what you had planned!

 

DoA hates me today XD