Bonding and YOU.

I never thought I'd be posting one of these >__>;

I know, I know, it's only been a week since Osaiah's come home, and I really should just wait it out and see what happens. I used to think it was weird when owners sold their dolls so soon after getting them for 'bonding problems' - and now I realize why XD;

So - when I first got Roo, every time I looked at him I just felt this incredible stab of happiness. I can still look at his smiling face, and he makes me smile too. He's cuddly and snuggly and perfect - and though I'm considering having his faceup enhanced (if I can stop being afraid of sending him away), he's still perfect to me and I would cry if I ever had to part with him. It's been that way since day one. I never had even a single second thought.

But with Osaiah...

It's not that he was totally unexpected. Roo was an impulse buy, after all XD;

I look at Osaiah, and the feeling is not one of "Oh my god, I love this doll," but of, "Sweet, I have an expensive one-off 8D" I think I like him most because he's... an expensive one-off >__>; He's absolutely beautiful, and amazing, and unbelievable, and oh my god, F-05 makes a fantastic boy. But I don't feel the love.

I've tried to avoid the subject. I've tried really, really hard over the past few days to incorporate Osaiah into my life, but this thought keeps creeping in - if I sold him, I could buy this-and-such other doll. I could buy a mold that I've been wanting for a while.

With Roo, minor imperfections are no big deal. His little body is pudgy and his knee hooks show when he bends his knee, and his hands are pudgy... but it doesn't bother me XD His imperfections turned into endearments within a few days. Osaiah, on the other hand... I want a new body for him. I want new hands. His eye size is wrong. Etc. etc. etc. If I'm going to buy a whole new body, why not just get an F-05 FCS on an SD13 body? e___e;

What do I doooo? XDD Help me, DoA! Should I stick it out? Sell him now before I talk myself out of it or ruin part of his one-off-ness? What can I do to bond with him better? T__T; I don't want to force it and end up resenting him for being so expensive and not as lovable >__>;

The character, incidentally, will never die XD Even if he doesn't get a new resin shell, Osaiah will live on, because my characters just kind of do that. It would also be really, really easy to transfer him into any number of big-doll molds I want.

 

I suggest messing around with him, giving him a manicure or something.
I was having issues with rion for a week after he arrived, his nose looked huge, he looked misirible, and he was so tight I could barely straighten his legs.

but then I messed with his face a bit, trimmed his wig (alot) and restrung him... and I started liking him alot better, and he started looking happier, and now I feel much closer to him ^_^ *now if only I could get his eyebrows to not wear off so damn fast*

 

Oh god, but I couldn't do anything to Osaiah >__> I'm obsessed with keeping him pristine so that he doesn't devalue.

 

What it boils down to in the end is how you feel. I have times (when I haven't handled my dolls for a few days) where I'm like "Maybe I'd sell Keeran. Why are Blanche's eyes not the right size? Will doing _____ fix this?" But then, after thinking these things I can pick them up and fall right back in love! I feel like I was insane to ever want to let them go!

I'd try letting him just sort of 'mesh in' to the surroundings for a day or two or, just hold him, sometimes 'snuggles' without pretext of character can help you bond to a doll. If all else fails, you may end up selling him or changing the character you had planned. Such is life.

Best of luck, with whatever choice you make

 

^_^; maybe that's part of the problem, you are worried about keeping him perfect so much that you can't make him yours or have fun with him.
and I hope that doesn't sound mean >.< I'm really not trying to.

 

I'd say that maybe FCS would be better for the character you want. If you either don't change Osaiah and are unhappy with him, or you DO change him and then feel bad about "ruining" a One-Off, then you're never going to enjoy him the way you want. I doubt it would be hard to find a home with someone who loves him exactly as is, and then you can see about doing FCS and getting exactly the eyes/bodies/hands/etc that you want ^^ Of course, that's just my thought ^^;;

 

whoa, never mind X_X I totally didn't realize how old the first post was! D'oh! XD

 

Does anyone have a hard time bonding with a new doll?

You see I have my doll for about a month now but I don't feel like I am bonding with her. When I first got her I was dissapointed with her in general. Then there was the kicking legs. Then her foot flew off causing me to restring her. I restung her three times but never got it right. None of her wigs fit right. I buy her clothes but I don't like them or they don't fit properly. I take pictures of her but I'll take 50 and only post four. Most of the time she spends her time in her makeshift bed in my drawers.

I'll still think she's very pretty but I don't feel that bond that seems to have with their dolls. I tried working hard on her and making her mine but everytime I do something I feel like I am messing her up.

Does anyone feel this way this first doll? Or new dolls in general? I am being totally weird?

 

Hitasura started a great thread on Bonding already, feel free to resurrect it:

http://www.denofangels.com/forums/showthread.php?t=22455&highlight=Bonding+you

Many people go through bonding problems until they make those final adjustments that make the doll "just right" for them. The right wig, the right eyes, getting the doll re-strung or otherwise customized...it's part of the settling-in process unless you open the box and think they're perfect right out of it. (Which can happen too.) Either you'll decide you just can't get along...or you'll make little adjustments until she's just right. Bonding doesn't have to be instantaneous, it can take a lot of work.

As for the photos - I think most of us picture-happy people on the board take TONS of them but only post the ones we like best, which can end up being a small number of the original ones taken!

 

*claps frantically*

 

Ditto!

I also think this should be a sticky.

 

Yeah sometimes it made me feel guilty not posting regularly on my LJ ^_^
But that's bcoz uni works are so hectic. But yeah I updated mostly my LJ every 2-3 days, though ^_^

 

I don't know what number we're at now, but I say this should be a sticky. nwn I this this is a good thing for newbies and oldbies alike to read! :D

 

Ahah, I know what you mean ;3
My Jade isn't here yet, but from all the pictures I've seen of him, I don't think he's going to be much different from how I have him in my head. Which is, the first impression I got of him. I love his default makeup and I'm trying to -duplicate- it as much as I could even, seeing that I got a no-make-up one.

Plus, unless a name pops up in me when I first see him (that's how I tend to name stuff or even get a password for an account XD on the spot XD) he'll always and forever be "Jade" to me. Sure, his face would look exactly like the Jade I see on Angel Region website. Sure, his NAME is still the mold name that AR gave him. But that's how I see him, like him, want him. He has been Jade in my mind with that godawfullysweetsmirk for the past two years, and that's how he'll be when he's here in my arms.

I don't think it's wrong at all to keep with defaults. Even names. If you're comfy with it, your Hound can always be Hound. There's nothing remotely wrong with that name. Just because you're "older" or more "serious" doller, doesn't mean your Barbie can't be just Barbie, to put it simply.

A lot of people are so obsessed with having "the only unique name" that it almost intimidated me to have my Jade as just 'Jade' as well. I thought, they may think I'm a 'lame newbie' (yes I fear the peer, because somehow, 'lame newbies' are not taken very seriously in many, many boards). But when I realised that there's no other name my lips want call that boy as anymore, I came to me that, hell, he's Jade. My Jade. No matter what.

sorry if that was in circles a bit, but just wanted to add too, that your doll name and looks doesn't have to be uber special or different as well, just to bond with him. I don't mind people who go through the trouble to be unique. I just think that sometimes, defaults are just as good as long as you like it.

 

Some people buy a toy, never take it out of the box, and display it as part of a proud collection.

Others buy the toy and play with it untill it can be played with no more.

Both of them find value in their toy.

edit for an afterthought:
(And both usually have a difficult time understanding the other. Heehee.)

 

I think it comes down to who you could sell and who it would break your heart to part with. I am new to BJDs but a long time English Sasha Doll collector. When I fell hard for the resin I sold most of my Sashas to get the money. The last one, my favourite, sold...and I fell to bits! Fortunately the buyer was symp and let me out of the deal...but I guess I had 'bonded'. Big Time.

When I ordered my Petit Ai I loved them. While waiting I became enraptured with the Hound IM...so even before they arrived I decided to sell the Ai to finance the Hound. Life being a learning experience, we fell into harsher financial waters and Hound will have to wait. I decided to keep the Ai for now (otherwise the money would vanish into ...gasp...groceries!) ..and low and behold...a little curl of adoration sprang up from what I thought was barren ground. Could I be....bonding!?

Maybe. But back to the point...everyone is entitled to enjoy the passion as they see fit without measuring up to other people's expectations...which means that this would indeed be a Very Useful stickey. Add my vote.

 

I'm sure people will get pissed at this and try and provoke a discussion... I just want to state my point of view.

I do NOT understand why people sell dolls and say, "I did not bond with them."

I can't understand such a cavalier attitude about something so incredibly costly. As for me, knowing how much the doll costs makes me realise that I better be absolutely sure I want to buy it.

I guess some people buy impulsively, especially if it is a limited and they don't want to miss out, and some people can afford several dolls. For someone like me, the concept is completely alien. I guess I feel like people selling them due to non-bonding issues didn't think the purchase through first.

I don't mean to anger anyone. It just amazes me, that's all.

 

I'm glad to see this thread. I've always been very comfortable with my own type of bonding with my doll -- which does NOT entail sharing much about him online, and does NOT entail coming up with elaborate storeis and relationships, etc. -- but I have been on the receiving end of a lot of implications and outright statements that I am a "bad" owner because of this. People need to realize that there is no one acceptable way to enjoy these gorgeous creations, and revel in the wide variety of experiences out there, as opposed to feeling threatened by them.

My doll Kitsune and I give the OP much love, and 40 billionth the request for it to be a sticky.

 

Well,maybe this will help out- All my dolls I bought to represent very defined characters of mine. As such, I tried to find the molds that I thought would best represent them. But this is sometimes very hard to do, I have several friends who have had a very hard time trying to find the perfect doll to represent their characters as well. It can be a difficult thing to do when your aim to to find a match for a vision you already had in your head, especially with all the different brands and molds and customizing you can do to these dolls. And if the doll you think might work is a limited, then it's better to get it when you can as you might find it very hard to get later.

So as such, it's easy for me to see how a persn could buy a doll in an attempt to fit that vision, but when it arrives it doesn't end up working the way they'd planned. In which case, yes, I would sell it to try to find a better fit for that character. This would be an example of selling because they didn't bond with the doll.

(And guys, as happy as I am that everyone finds this thread so helpful, I doubt we're going to sticky it. Unless all the other mods agree with making it one. XD But I will get it liosted in the GD Index thread as it's not listed there now.) =3