Bonding and YOU.

I'm just wondering how long it takes people here to bond with new dolls.
Is it fast for you, or does a new doll need to grow on you?

I just got my brand new Lishe 3 days ago. I was so excited when I ordered her, and even more excited when I saw she was shipping so quickly.
It was fun to unwrap her, and to see her for the first time. This was my first doll ever!

... but I don't really feel anything for her. I can't see the character she was meant to be inside her (yet?).

Not like when I got my Yder head. I started working on my second character shortly after I ordered Lishe, so I bought a sleeping vamp Yder head from the Market forum here on DoA. As soon as I unwrapped her (I know Yder is a he, but it's going to go on a female body someday so mine's a her) I knew she was exactly right for what I had in mind. I'm even working on getting a second Yder head so I can open the eyes on one, and swap heads for different expressions of the same character. I my little bald Yder head ^_^

But the Lishe... I'm not feeling it.
It could be the faceup, but I'm not convinced. I ordered the Luts faceup, and I like it on the site. I'm also reluctant to wipe off a $50 faceup to see if I can give her the right look myself when I'm not even sure my character is "in there". That sounds kinda lame, but I'm not sure how to describe it.
She seems more like "a" doll than "my" doll right now, and I'm not sure what to do about it.

 

i think you should go ahead and wipe the face up if you're not satisfied. i did that with my lishe head too. I mean, its not worth $50 if you're not bonding right? go ahead and make her your own. If you mess up, you'll learn from your mistake an you'll fix her even more and make her more of what you want her to be

i dont know what character to give my lishe head too, but ive just been experimenting with different face ups on her and its my first time doing face ups, but its fun and someday ill find the perfect look for her. Im sure you will too

 

How long does it take to bond?

As long as it takes!

Sorry I can't be more helpful, but in my situation bonding comes very easily for me so it takes a very short time.

Everyone's different, and each doll is different too. It won't necessarily happen the same way it did with your Yder. Take your time with your Lishe, take her to meetups, do photostories, try roleplaying with her. It'll happen in it's own time, and if it's not meant to be, then it won't!

Good luck! Update us on how things are going, okay?

 

I don't really believe in 'bonding' as such. Sometimes you simply find that a mold isn't what you had thought it would be. Thats the problem with relying on 2d photographs to try to relay something in 3d.

That said, a lot of a doll is what YOU MAKE OF IT. Changing the faceup, changing the wig, changing the eyes, maybe even modifying the sculpt.... its about putting in the effort and work to make it your own.

If the Lishe mold itself really isn't what you thought she would be, then maybe you should find something other than a Lishe. But if you're just not seeing your character in this particular individual head, maybe you just need to work with it more. A change of eyes, wig, faceup, etc, can completely change the way a doll appears.

I can understand the reservation about 'wasting' the $50 faceup though... its a tough call.

 

Bonding has always been more or less instant for me XD The one doll I've sold was one I didn't bond with instantly... and ended up never 'bonding' with.

It can take time, or no time at all... or it may never happen. Work with it, but don't be too determined to keep a mold if you don't absolutely love it :3

 

All my dolls i have now, i instantly bonded with, it was like this "connection" clicked inside of me and them. The two most recent ones i sold i only had for a matter of days, since i felt no connection whatsoever. I'm glad they have new homes, i see them get spoiled rotten!

 

I think the whole "bonding" thing is kinda over-hyped. Just ignore it for a second. Think of it this way: Do you like the doll? Do you think it's pretty? If you do, then great. If you don't, try to play with your Lishe and experiment with her. If you think about it for awhile and decide the faceup isn't right for her, "wasting" $50 for the first faceup isn't as bad as "wasting" $600-$700 for a doll you don't care for.

And if nothing works, you can always sell her.

 

Well if anything, your Yder girl can always take little Lishe's body.

And I agree with Kurosakura

 

Hmm.. I bonded with Karo right away, after maybe three days. But with Sultra, it took me maybe a week and a half to be positive about him. Same with Karrian -- he was quite silent for weeks, and he finally came to life one day! ^_^ Don't worry just yet~!

 

It depends--sometimes it's instentanious (pardon my crappy spelling) and sometimes it takes a little while. It helps me to do things with my dolls like take them places, sit with them while I watch tv/play on the computer. Changing wigs, eyes and faceups can make a *huge* difference as well.

 

Bonding is something I take very seriously, both of my boys were extremely hard to bond with, but not my Igon head, which is really weird.

I worked my little butt off for Kera, my El and when he came I thought he was absolutely perfect, but he came at a very rough spot in my life and he had bad memories attached to him, which he always will. For that reason I wanted to get rid of him because it hurt to play with him or remember he was there. Recently though, I changed his wig, on complete accident. I had bought a black wig from Cancan for Yue, my Igon and when it arrived it looked very small and Kera was right next to me so he modeled it first. It ended up looking AMAZING on him and I fell in love all over again. Now I would rather die than part with him.

Suna is almost the same story. He didn't come at a bad time really but when I got him he wasn't exactly what I was expecting. I really didn't see by the pictures on the Luts site that he was as smiley as he turned out to be and I found it hard to take pictures of him that weren't anything but smiley and happy. Also, he was shipped really floppy to prevent damage and I have no experience stringing a doll, especially one with the new Luts body system so I was scared to touch him and I wouldn't. He would sit, or lean against something and that was it, I ignored him otherwise. After a while I felt really bad about it though, he was very pretty and I love his faceup so I started messing around with him. Changing wigs didn't work, he's definitely a red head but changing eyes did. He now has one brown eye and one red eye as as soon as I did the change, his personality and character just jumped out at me. Now I love him just as much as I do my Kera.

Yue was instant though, even as a head. I that little guy.

I think it really just takes time. Neither one of my dolls turned out like I had planned them. My advice is just to give it more time, try new things, maybe even ignore it for a while and come back later. It seems to me they tend to pop out when you're not really expecting it.

 

I bonded instantly with most of my BJDs. I was in love the minute they came out of the box! But for some reason, SD13 Emma took longer than the others. I didn't see as much life in her eyes, and the fact that her character was based on a person (who was dead) from one of my other doll's pasts didn't help. But now I love her nearly as much as my other girl, SD13 Mimi.

My SD13 School needed a faceup before I bonded with him, but I think that is pretty normal. Although I bonded with my kill_U 2nd head without a faceup at all!

I did have a Yukinojo at one time, and did not bond with him at all, beautiful as he was. I felt no love, and even a bit of alarm at his "Frankenstein"-like qualities. He went back in his box after one day, and I knew within two days that he would not be staying.

Linda S.
galatia9

 

i honestly may or may not have bonded with Kodona yet...what does bonding mean? what does it do?

Iunno..I just know that he's pretty..and I like taking pictures of him...I role play him in games with a friend..and thats where he's most alive.

The doll doesnt do much to make me laugh or cry or whatever...He's good company and a comforting weight...Is that bonding?

Everyone is convinced that theres a specific way "by the book" to bond with a doll and if you dont have what others have..then you MUST be doing something wrong

thats not how it is..Bonding is specific to YOU and your doll..

Pretend DoA doesnt exist..and theres NOT 10,000 other people to compare your interaction with.

Whats bonding to you? What would you do with your doll if all these other people werent here giving you all sorts of ideas on whats right and wrong?

If you enjoy poking your dolls in the eyes then hey! bonding time!

Nobody else but you knows what it would be...everyone enjoys and DOES differant things..there is no uniform bonding method..or uniform bonding SIGNS...

The best way to NOT bond with your doll..is to try to do what other people TELL you to do with the doll. Because we arent you and we all have preferances that you may not share.

 

I also don't know 'exactly' what everyone means by bonding, but if what I feel is a bond then I guess I bonded with Sarang since I took her from the box. At first I was having doubts, I worried I wouldn't 'bond' with her, but when I had her in my arms for the first time. I knew she would make me smile, and that was enough for me.~

 

It took me a couple months to bond with my DoT Sha. I was unhappy with the color of his face up because it was not what I ordered. But now I adore him. He feels like a best friend.

My Sesshoumaru though - it took me about 30 seconds to bond with him. I would probably walk through fire for him.

 

I've found bonding takes various ammounts of time. with Snowdrop, my first doll, it took several months before i found the right look for her and suddenly she was MY doll. With Ruby Lydia it took even longer than that. (please note, i tend to buy dolls because i like their sculpt, not to fufill charachters, so i am generally not inclined to sell a doll i've bought because i bought it for artistic reasons even though i do bond with my dolls. ) But then, all it took for me to "find" Ruby Lydia was for me to cut her shaggy layered wig into a blunt, short bob and wow, there she was. With Nathan it was different. Since i got into BJD's, i'd always had a male charachter in mind, before i even chose any dolls to buy, but no sculpt was right. I bonded with him as soon as i had him put together.
But, i don't like any of my dolls more than another. It just took different things and different ammounts of time to bond with them all. Sometimes the doll is perfect the way it is, sometimes it takes a lot of work like a new faceup, and sometimes something small, like a change of eyes or wig can make all the difference in the world.

If you're really unhappy with Lishe and love your Yder though, maybe you could try putting your Yder head on Lishe's body and see how you feel about that.
~Erin

 

While I do very much agree with the "traditional" ideas of bonding, I'll also say that it probably took me a couple months to reach the stage of attachment I'm at now. I think about the three month mark was about when I finally decided whether to keep or sell each of my dolls. I wouldn't freak out just yet.

 

It took me nearly a year to bond with my Volks MSD Sakura, but that may have been because she spent that long without a faceup *guilt guilt guilt* ...'Carol' on the other hand, i bonded with before she even arrived, and more so since Starfighter lent her a beautiful dress and styled her hair. And then there's a yet unnamed 'Rengemaru' who came recently into my home, but he's been one of my dream dolls since I first started into the hobby

 

With most of my dolls, the second they were out of the box, I knew they were what I wanted. But... sadly now it's happening the opposite with one of them. After getting what I thought would be the perfect wig for her character, and an extra outfit, BAM, it hit me she's not the one.

Not even with the perfect wig... that's why I posted a "Feelers" for her in the marketplace *sniffles*

But I gotta tell you I was THIS close to sell my Elf Kirill cause i thought we weren't bonding and I also needed money badly then, but luckily I felt closer to him and I know now I would have been crazy if I had sold him!

If it works, it works... if it doesn't, even after customizing and all, just let the dollie find another loving home ^^;;

 

As others have said, first define bonding.

With some dolls, I opened the box, and knew immediately that this was my doll.

With some, I liked them, but needed to spend some time with them before knowing if they were going to stay.

And with one, I was seriously thinking about selling him, and he basically said "no, don't sell me". And now he's one of my favorites.

So I figure go with the flow, eventually it'll become evident which way things are going and you can always deal with things then.

Marcia.