Bonding and YOU.

I kinda know what you mean, When I sent for my first doll, which was also a Lishe, they sent me Tanning Lishe by mistake. When I decided to keep her it took a while for me to adjust to her being one of my characters. Though I did love her. I've had her near 3 weeks now and I have her clothes and hair and stuff, I carry her with me all over the house, that has helped turn her into the girl she was meant to be.
Now I don't see her as the wrong doll or Tanning Lishe, she's my girl Hikari.
Don't worry, carry her around more and call her by a certain name other than Lishe, this will help alot, trust me.
I always pick the personality before the doll so maybe if you build her up in your head how you want her to be it might help, also try photo shopping a picture of her, maybe she does need a new face.
What is the default face up like, the old Lishe pictures or new ones?

 

I understand, Im in the process of getting rid of two dolls right now because I never bonded with them. My definition for me is just liking the doll. (Thats because Im male and have no maternal urges )
When I got my Leah I liked her alot but then went off her, so re did her face up, scary thing to do. Maybe you should go for it with your Lishe as I think this really helps you bond with a doll, putting yourself into it and making it unique. However, shortly after I started to feel the same again. I realised it was the sculpt. I love my snyder soulkid Leah but shes not working for me for what projects I want to use dolls for. Same with my Neil snyder soulkid.
However I love my Orientdoll Tae, this is because I didnt have any expectations or personality worked out for him, he just sort of grew by himself.
Also, my friend lent me her B-El to restring and re paint, in that time I really bonded with him although he isnt my doll
Bonding means so many things. I like my dolls, I like playing with them, photographing them, making their clothes...but I dont feel attatched to them, just because others are on this forum doesnt mean you have to feel the same way.
Sometimes dolls dont work out, sometimes you grow out of the sculpt or face...Just be honest with yourself and dont settle for anything less.

 

I completely agree, really well written

 

To be honest these dolls are so easy to love I find it hard to believe people save so long for a certain type and then sell it. But it does happen and that is fair enough, if people don't feel right with a doll then they should sell it on.

Because I was sent the wrong doll and kept her the bonding process was odd for me. Yes I loved her, otherwise I wouldn't have made such a effort to keep her. But it wasn't a right from the box thing, She wasn't my Kit. I did however feel badly for her, naked, in the wrong place and the resin was freezing cold. I wrapped her in a towel and I guess that was my "mistake", by holding her and taking responsibility for her I began to care about her.
I'm glad I did though, it was natural and fate.
But the bad side about bonding with a doll that wasn't in my plan is that I lost two dolls by keeping her.
The NS Lishe I originally sent for and the Jollyplus Daisy I had my heart set on to be my second girl (the personality of which now belongs to my 'tanning lishe'.)
But don't get me wrong, I have no regrets, Kari means the world to me and I wouldn't swap her for another doll if I was given the chance, even a NS Lishe.

I think, holding them, naming them, taking pictures from the box, and having a preset personality or at least an idea of one helps with bonding.

 

You rock, Hitasura!! Totally well said.

 

Well, this is just my opinion.

I thought the very same thing before I bought my first doll. You say to yourself, "Wow, this doll is expensive, and it's just a doll. But I want it." So you buy it, and then he or she comes home.. WOW.

When you open that box, it is one of the most amazing feelings you'll ever feel. (At least for me!) Now like Hitasura said, not everybody bonds with their dolls. But you might change your mind once you get your first doll! ^_~

Just my two cents!

 

thanks so much for posting this.

lately, it really does seem like people feel a pressure to express that they have "bonded" or that they feel about their dolls in the same way as a lot of other people. There really is no reason to feel pressured to that.
the bottom line is that they are DOLLS. You can choose how to play with them (or now not to play with them.)

don't buy in to the "me too" thing! enjoy your dolls how you wish!

as to the selling dolls because "did not bond with them". you can think very hard about how a doll might be good for you, look at tons of photos, and then when it comes in person, you could not like it for a multitude of unforseen reasons...! The headmold might feel different in person, you might not like the posing... they might not look right with your other dolls. There's so many things.
Also, there are so many new dolls coming out every day, the perfect doll to fit that spot in your collection (or family) might be this one doll one week (because it is the best of what is available that week) but the next week one that fits even better might come up.

some people never ever sell their dolls, and that's fine, right...? but why give people a hard time if they aren't able to find the right one at first?

I mean,... me for example, for a long time (years) I wanted a vampire-like doll. One that was pale and elegant looking. I tried a CP Shiwoo, but he just looked too friendly for the look I wanted (even though I thought about it for a long time!) I tried for a while different outfits and looks for him. but it never quite felt right. I sold him and got a CP El. Again,... just not quite right! I finally, recently, got a Chris and had him repainted. Now he's perfect, exactly the character image I wanted, right? It's not that there is anything "wrong" with the other two dolls I had. They were beautiful and well made. They just didn't fit the image I was looking for (even though I spent a long time thinking about it before I bought them.)

and they are very expensive things to keep if you don't absolutely love them, wouldnt you say? I'd rather the doll go to someone who really could enjoy it instead of sitting in my closet.

 

I had the same problem when I got my Lishe.I had a preconcieved notion of what she be like,look like etc but when she got here(no faceup,but with a wig and eyes)I just felt deflated...she wasnt that character at all.I didnt like that head mold at all and I felt bad because I also couldnt use her body for my floating head since Lishe came from an odd colored resin batch.I gave her a few faceups,plopped that wig onto her head and she became this totally different girl I loved more than character I had originally wanted.I had wanted a saucy girl and I got a sweetheart instead.She's still evolving too even after 6 months.She has a different wig now(white now instead of wine,but getting a rust red one soon)and her clothing style has finally been established(girly instead of sexy).Lishe's are one of the most versatile molds Ive run into so keep evolving her and see where SHE takes you.So,she isnt that character....she may be a better one than you planned originally.

 

While I currently lack room to talk, as I'm dolless, I'll offer up my two cents. And won't even link back to this thread (I've counted two or three so far). At the moment, I'm paying for a kid delf boy body (one more payment and it's mine.. ). I am planning on getting a Woori head to go atop it. I will not be ordering a faceup. Why? I have no real idea other then a vague impression of how I want the faceup to look. Seeing a picture on a site and having the head in hand are two different things. Afterall, having seen a mnf shiwoo in person, I do want one. Even if he is a common mold now. In the process of giving the woori head a faceup, I'm sure I'll go through with the bonding thing. The doll/concept has a name, but I'll figure out the style of the doll as I go. It's all apart of the getting attached process for me. =D

 

Not sure if this was answered later in the thread, but maybe I'll respond to it anyways for the benefit of other reading... I noticed that my bond with Sakura and 'Carol' grew when I brought them to meets and spent time with other people in the hobby (DoA user 'starfighter' in particular). I haven't taken much in the way of photographs, but every now and then I get the urge to just grab Sakura (she's my trooper! *^^*) and have her sit with me on the couch while I watch tv or surf the net.

 

I definitely feel the same way, seeing as how Sakura is a Volks MSD 'Sakura' Assembly Kit, 'Carol' (I'm not sure if this will be her final name, it may depend on the next addition to my dolfie family) is a Volks SDG Carol, and 'Renge' (same deal) is a Volks Yo-SD Rengemaru... I thought i was just unimaginative but my dolls don't have extensive backgrounds and personalities, so unless the default name strikes me as totally inappropriate for the mould, it typically sticks even if its as a temporary nickname.

 

I'd like to respond to this one...

I think you were/are mistaken in attributing a 'cavalier' attitude to those who decide to part with a doll, no matter what the cost of the particular mold. There are few dolls who in person, perfectly match their promotional image depicted online (which the decision to purchase is often based on), and this can cause some people to regret or become disappointed with their decision... translating 2D pictures into 3D in your mind doesn't always work.

 

I love what the first post said totally agree. I'm very attached to my doll, but I get attached to blankets and shoes and a certain skirt as well. I don't take reqiuem out to play with him all the time. I have porcelian dolls, and I don't give them backround stories or buy them things, but I still love them, and find them beautiful. The bniggest thing that appealed to me about BJDs was that I could paint all over them and not ruin the doll. Lol. I find it fun to make the backround stories and the like, but I RP all the time, so it's not really a new process. I think, you paid for them, and whatever you want to do with them, you do.

 

I agree completely.

I loved my DoD Too and My Lati Cara, but I just can't get used to Msd's. And although my F-28 was gorgeous, when I was in dire financial straits - he was the one I'd bonded with the least, so he was the first I let go of.

Sometimes love grows. I bonded instantly with Kazu. And Enki, was super cute straight out of the 'box'. It was love at first sight. I really couldn't have been happier with those two. [Kylyk counts in this too, although he isn't ready yet]

But when I finally got my dreamdoll, my first Woosoo Haku, I almost started crying out of sheer frustration. He was nothing like I'd envisioned. His eyes didn't suit him, his wig wasn't right... I was bummed out. I had a red fur wig from a Dolce order that was kind of raggedy, and I wasn't sure what to do with either him or the wig anymore... 'till one day I wet the wig, threw it on his head and placed a hair tie around it like a bandana, and poof! there was Haku. We bonded pretty quickly after that. His wig changes pretty often, but we're pretty content. He's my lethargic love.

Same with MiYuki. When he came in - we tried about 5 different face-ups on him and none of them suited him in the least. Then the last one I had on him (which was cute) got messed up, and in a rush I went to my friend to do an emergency fix-up. She did her best to recreate what I had invisioned for him in my head... and poof he was gorgeous. He was that much closer to the MiYuki I'd adored. I'm really happy with him. But MiYuki is ever evolving, and he's going up for another face-up this month [we're wiping the last one, because we're having his head lightened to match his body better]. He's my ever-loved work in progress. XD

~*~

My bonding experiences have evolved, just like my dolls have... and just like I have. So don't lose hope. Sometimes things don't work out, whether you have pre-existing characters for your dolls or not. Sometimes dolls become other characters, and you learn to work with them.

 

My bonding experiences have evolved, just like my dolls have... and just like I have. So don't lose hope. Sometimes things don't work out, whether you have pre-existing characters for your dolls or not. Sometimes dolls become other characters, and you learn to work with them.

So true! I am seriously thinking about narrowing down my dolls cause not all really fit in. Some need faceups for me to try and bond. Some have really nice ones but I dunno what or how they fit in! One will be going to a friend and she and I have a story worked out so he'll fit right in and be with one he loves. Another...I am seriously thinking about selling but I dunno if the original owner will do much with him either...here, I might try too...so I'm torn.

Edit: hit enter too soon!

 

This is great... and would make a great chapter to a

"So You Want To Get A Doll" book XD

 

This entire issue just seems silly to me. Good grief, we're talking about dolls here, not living, breathing creatures. Of course you should enjoy your doll anyway you like & definitely don't compare yourself or judge yourself according to other doll owners. I do however encourage everyone to play with their dolls, in whatever way you choose. First & foremost, they are toys for adults.

 

I'm the same way, Kiwi. I love my toys. I make up stories for my stuffed animals, talk to them sometimes, and I've even had one for 14 years now (yes, I realize this makes me sound about 5 years old, but I don't think I've really grown much creatively since then anyways XD), but I would never consider it a "bond" because my affection or disaffection is recieved the same no matter what: inanimately, without response or thought. That doesn't mean you don't take care of your dolls if you don't believe in "bonding", or that you don't enjoy them. It just means you realize they're inanimate and cant answer back in any other way except being something to brighten your day. ^__^


Great thread!

 

I think there are many different aspects to this in terms of 'bonding.' Some people say that you can't bond with inanimate objects. But the dictionary term implies that you can: to establish a close emotional relationship to or with (another).

Bonding is a very flexible term. It's like love. There are varying degrees and forms that love comes in (love for the mother, love for a friend, love for a partner etc), and the same goes for bonding. It all depends on the context.

That's why I know now never to judge people if they are considered fanatically attached to their doll. The subject is not only totally controversial, but like with most things, you shouldn't judge people unless you've been in their shoes! It is again about accepting that people are all different. *cue racial harmony campaign *

And for the record, I consider myself to be bonded with a few select teddies simply because I would be devestated if anything happened to them, they are important to me for reasons that are silly, for reasons that are understandable, and for reasons that are unexplainable- there's no one reason behind it!

As for my opinions of this thread, it highlights a very important issue for BJD owners/potential owners and I think there have been some pretty damn good comments in reply too (except this one! lol ). Great job everyone!

 

I feel a lot better after reading this. I think my dolls are gorgeous, but people all around seemed to be adoring their dolls so much more strongly than I feel for my own that I was wondering if my feelings weren't strong enough to justify the price tag ^^;... thanks for posting this!