Bonding and YOU.

I think there's at least 4 threads merged into the initial one

are you -sure- we can't have this as a sticky?

 

...couldn't I extend your analogy to include concerns regarding bonding with domesticated animals as silly because they lack humanity? ...does it make you cringe to hear that there are places in the world where people consume dogs, cats, guinea pigs, horses, rabbits, etc and think it silly of others to 'bond' with these examples of domesticated animals?

 

((due to the nature of the internet, I'm not quite sure if you're serious or not as I have no vocal/physical cues to guess off of, so I mean nothing offensive in this reply at all, and I hope you don't take it that way.))

I don't think you could, really. Animals and resin are two diffrent things. If you kill a dog, you can't bring it back to life, and any bond you might have had with it is gone because it's dead and you are just left with the memory and one way love.

But if you break a doll or loose a part of it, you can fix it up to be as good as new, or buy it new parts. They're still still toys -maybe not JUST toys, and certainly not silly, because of how much they mean to us in their own way- but they're not alive in the physical sense, and in some ways that makes it easier on us, the owners. If your dog or cat dies, it's gone and there's no way it can come back -you've lost it completely and forever, though you never really lose the love you had for it. But if you have to sell or you lose your MNF Chiwoo, it's sad & it sucks majorly, but you'll be able to get another one just like it if you have enough money.

So yes, I think you can bond to your dolls, but it's a diffrent kind of bond. Just as there are diffrent kinds of love, there are diffrent kinds of bonds, and the bond between human and animal is not the same as a bond between human and toy. They're both equal in their meaning to the owner, but not the same.

 

I'd actually like to get to another essential issue in the difference between animals and dolls that the last post kinda-sorta touched on, and didn't: animals have nerve-endings. Dolls do not.

It's simple factual information, and it means a lot of things; cruelty to a doll may damage it, but it can be fixed, and be none the worse for the treatment. An animal, on the other hand, can feel physical pain (whatever you think about it having a soul - that's a different topic) and experience cruelty on a completely different level than a resin figure. Likewise, they live, breathe, and respond to the world around them.

As far as bonding with dolls is concerned though, I don't think it's such a strange term to use for the experience. I don't consider my doll to have a personality or life of its own outside of my imagination, but I have real reactions to face molds, faceups, etc - I'll like them or hate them, and what they mean for the "personality" of the doll I'm looking at. I wouldn't buy a model I don't like, because I wouldn't want to look at it. On the other hand, I'd feel a real loss if something happened to Adriel, or if I couldn't get Miyu for some reason, because they've made an impression on me.

Bonding doesn't have to be an exchange. Maybe calling it "attachment" would be better? I've formed an attachment to my doll. I've also formed an attachment to my favorite book, and if someone stole it, I'd... well, this probably isn't the right place for that kind of language. :P This attachment is essential for me, mostly to justify the price tag. I spent hundreds on Adriel, so I'd bloody well enjoy having him around, you know?

However, if you don't feel strong attachment to a doll, I don't think it's a bad thing. As long as you don't regret purchasing it, and find some way to enjoy it, that could be enough.

But as with everythinig, this depends on the person.

 

I'm so glad I stumbled onto this -- especially the opening statement, which is EXACTLY what I've been needing to read!!

I have lots of dolls. Yes, I do. My wallet says I do. And I'm just nuts about most of them (there's one that, well... we're still working on her look yet). But I haven't taken lots of pictures of them or posted them up or anything... a few, yes. Frankly, with as little time as I have, and as big a pain in the butt as resizing, cropping and posting the pictures is, I had been approaching the point of feeling irritated and anxious about the "responsibilities" of having all these dolls.

... and that's not how it should be!

As to the bonding issue... at first, I'll admit to thinking the exact thing. "What are you talking about, bonding with dolls??!!" But having experienced bonding with decades' worth of cats and dogs, and with two children (one of whom took a while to bond with, the second of whom was instant love) I feel confident that I know the sensation when I sense it! And yep, I have a definite bond with most of my resin kids The fact that they can't bond BACK doesn't make it any less a real emotion.

Having said that, though... boy am I glad I'm not an evil being for not doing photostuff all the time. I'm too jealous of my teeny little shred of free time

I think the opening shot in the thread said it best: everyone enjoys their hobbies and their lives differently ... and that's FINE.

 

If not spending time on photography makes one evil, I'm about as evil as they come. I just don't LIKE taking pictures and manipulating them. I'd rather spend my doll time doing something else.

Of course, not photographing them makes them very hard to share on the web .

But these dolls are here to make me happy. And that's the bottom line. Everything else is just details about how they make each person happy.

Marcia.

 

I'm not sure if this is the case with some owners, but my CP El has 2 distinct modes: the storyline personality (who is completely unaware of anything except the storyline that I drafted for him) and a doll personality (that I bond with and is aware of the storyline personality).

This division allows me to enjoy both the character-drafting side of the hobby and the normal bonding side. I'm not bothered by imperfections in Warren at all--I'm actually glad to see them when I photograph him, because it means that I have many things to provide him so that he can become more 'complete'. So far I'd say that I'm satisfied with the way we coexist. =3

 

I've bonded with my girls from the moment I saw them. There was this *spark* of love and knowing when I first saw them. I've had a lot of dolly-lust over the time I've collected BJDs, but its the ones with that special spark that ultimately come home.

 

.. Today's my year anniversary with my first boy. He's on my lap and um yeah, I love him just as much as I did the first day. I've got two boys now, a third on the way, and at least 3 future dolls planned out but he'll always be my one and only. Ridiculously bonded. ;w;

 

Hmmm i havent had much bonding issues. Ringo was love at first sight...he made me smile when i saw his pic in the market place...when i finally opened the box, even without a face up, my heart melted...and i would kiss his nose and hold him, even as a head.

Kishi was definatly love at first sight. i couldnt get her out of mind...to the point that i had to buy her and felt bad about how long i had her on layaway. but shes happy now...and spoiled.

Joans bonding isnt as strong, but i still love her. i've done lots of customizations with her. including sueding and body blushing. Cause she came blank to me. i love her though. shes my model.

Cleo was adorable and i never had problems bonding with her.

Sawyer...hes another story it took me awhile to bond with him. even after i did a faceup on him and left him in the care of a friend. but she gave him a new wig...and now were getting along just find.

Motoko? no problem. shes too cute to not bond with.

Oranda. Saw her on the forum for sale multiple times. I HAD to have the last time she was up. When i opened the box my heart melted, just like Ringo. (i think i have a fondness for doll heads. lol)

Aiden. Oranda stole his thunder. and i was totally fearful of not bonding with him. But last night i restring his body and sueding him...made him some simple clothes out of a pair of socks...and now hes sooo hot. i love him!

So yeah...so far not big issues on my part.

 

Hummmm, all this talk of bonding sort of confuses me. I know I'm going to love a doll before I buy it because it has to speak to me before I'll lay out hundreds of dollars. Of course picking out names & trying out different looks is, I suppose, some of what is meant by bonding but then I don't have set characters that I'm looking for my dolls to be so it's never a matter of bonding or not for me. I just let the doll tell me their story & I play along.

 

When I got my first two dolls I really loved them but didnt really know if that was me bonded with them or not, until I got my Tae then I realised I hadnt bonded with them at all because I instantly fell in love with Tae. When I first saw a picture of him, waiting for him and getting him I was so excited, he really is my perfect doll and I can not imagine a doll better.
Now I just have him sat near me most of the time, or I will just sit and look at him for ages, take photos or dress him up. Im constantly moving him about, I really really love him and it took him to realise I wasnt fully happy with my other two which I am now selling.
My Limho has arrived and instantly I loved him too, maybe not in the same way yet because he still asnt got a face but when he has I know I will probably pay him the same amount of love and attention as my Tae, just watch this space

 

When Ruu first came, I was totally awed by his pretty. Then Aoi came, and I was even more in awe (seeing as how Aoi was mine and Ruu technically wasn't).

Then Akane came, and because I had never had a big boy before I didn't really know what to think and found myself kinda resenting him. But, I persevered, because I really didn't want to give up on him. I spent most of the time just cuddling him and telling him how pretty he was. And lo, I love him as much as Aoi now! XD

 

I'm rather the same way. Though the wait for saving up/paying off/shipping gives me time to realize more of their look and character as well as pick out a name (though I prefer to save that last part till they arrive).

So generally I have an instant bond with my doll. My bonding *moments* with Orly are when I carry him around and just chill with him while I'm at the computer or watching TV. Or when I poke fun at him and imagine how disgruntled he is being not only a doll but *my* doll. >.> As well as when I make some new clothes for him.

 

I bonded with Nabee before I ever saw her in person! I bonded with Special Sooah after I had owned her awhile and saw how great she looked in various wigs and outfits. I bought the limited edition Lydia and never did bond with her, so I sold her to my happy friend and bought Sibara instead. I bonded with Sibara as soon as I unpacked her a few days ago...Tibby

 

I only have one doll, i paid her with my money.
I take time to buy her and was hooked with her before she was home!
when i open the box: It was love at first sight

 

With my first doll she was actually the second one I ordered and pretty much ruined me for the first I was so happy to have her but we didn't really bond until about 2 months later after I had surgery... and the other doll souldoll clara just didn't work for me because she was too big

 

My first doll with be a persona of a kind, and will share some qualities of mine, thus already making that bond between us, but I'm yet to figure out how the doll will develop after I get him and keep him for a long while.

 

Well... I don't know if I will seem insane for this or not, so I'll only say this once.

For me, these dolls are not like clothes, bought to be pretty for a while then sold off for whatever. They are not like the pocelin dolls my mother used to collect, sitting in glass cages to be admired. They are not model kits, built and customized to show my artistic talent.

When Shiori came home, even tho she hade no paint, no eyes, no clothes... I could see her smile and felt like a mom.

These are my kids. I'm not gonna give any details, but something happened to me when I was younger that prevents me as an adult from bearing children. I most likely will never have the joys of raising a child, so these dolls are like my way of having children. I understand they are not living things, and I understand that in a pinch they can still be sold if my fiance and I really need the money. But... For me, bonding with these dolls is the closest I will ever get to being a mother. And I truely beleive they have souls.

I'm sure this is probably a bit off topic but I wanted to say it at least somewhere, just once. I love these dolls. Maybe I love some in different ways than others(my Puki is... evil. but I still love her!), but I still love them all! Even the ones I don't own...

 

Hello all. Im not sure if this thread is in the right spot, but since it relates to an MSD doll I thought it was a good place to start.
I have a Doll Dream Lily (Her name is Uetena) and when I first got her I did not get the feeling I got from my first doll (Angelregion Ami). I assumed that this could be because Uetena came with no face up and that perhaps it was startling compared to Emiko's (Ami) lovely face up that she came with. Well, I just got Uetena back from being done up and the artist did an AMAZING job, she looks absolutely gorgeous...
however...
Im still not feeling it ><
I dont know what it is about her or why I cant seem to connect like I did with my other girls. I have heard of people selling their dolls because they just couldnt bond but it wrenches my heart to think of selling her after getting all of the lovely work done on her. Not to mention she was the first doll I bought myself. When I first saw pictures of her I was in love, but now I feel just ill
I was thinking that maybe changing some other things around might help, but Im really afraid that its not the accessories but just the doll thats wrong for me. But is it really possible to love how a doll looks and still not be able to bond with her?
Does anyone have any ideas as to what I could do to maybe help? I have gotten everything I origionally pictured her with (outfit, wig, eyes, face up) and still nothing seems to fit.
Please help me, I feel so depressed like my girl maybe just doesnt like me