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Bonding and YOU.

Aug 20, 2004

    1. I now have two dolls at home and I bonded with them in different ways.

      my Dollshe boy names Haplo was instant bonding the second he came in sight inside his white carrier I could not keep my eyes off him, he is still the perfect person to fill the background story that was waiting for him and him alone. its a story that means an incredible lot to me personally, and so does Haplo's doll incarnation.

      Cychwynn my first girl was love at first sight on the company site for the fullset, for with I had no money so I waited on the basic, of course the face stayed the same and I needed to have her in my home, simply because she is beautifull at first, and then her personality came out ( gypsy dark angel ) and We were simply bonded.

      so well even though I bonded in a diferent way to each of my dolls, I think its mainly their personality/ backstory that I bond with.
       
    2. well my doll isn't home yet, hes still waiting in Korea or wherever to the message that says 'please ship this tx :] ' but when I looked at DZ now molt Hong I was slobbering all over the screen. For more then 10 years I'v been trying to find a somewhat 3D ish form for one of my characters and there he was :o!

      I'm not really sure about this bonding, so far I'v actually only really fallen in love over the internet on dolls that looks like characters I created. But I'm sure this will shift, actually its already happening :D


      but still! I have to hold myself from buying any other dolls, I want Hong to arive first, becouse I care to much about the character hes going to be represent :aheartbea
       
    3. I, unfortunately, am yet to own my darling girl.

      But I am smitten with [MindBug]'s boys. <33333
       
    4. I'm actually really worried about that... I had FINALLY made up my mind to save for my first doll, an Iplehouse Tatiana, and it was kind of essential to her story that she get to me before any other doll--she's got that "lonesome only child" thing going, and it's essential to her character and story.

      My mother, being the incredible, ridiculous and angelic woman she is, just purchased me a LittleFee Pipi!!! I am extatic, of course, because without her help I'dve had to wait for a year or more to get a doll of any sort, but I'm really worried that I'll have trouble bonding with my new doll, especially since I'll have to trade the male body for a female one (or mod it, which would be... interesting).

      Any advice, all?? I'm super excited, but I feel more anxious than anything. XD I feel pretty stupid because of that, since I'm lucky enough to be getting a doll at all!! :)
       
    5. I've only had my boy for maybe 2 weeks.

      I work full time hours, and recently I've been feeling the bond, and he's got an irrational fear of being alone...

      He doesn't like it when I leave without saying goodbye. And despite his appearance, can sleep.

      Aside from his abandonment fears, I'm getting to know him. :3 But I think I'll get him some friends for when I'm at work. ^^
       
    6. My girl arrived not too long ago and I am bonded with her but at the same time I feel almost like she's not MINE. o_O I think it's because she doesn't have her proper eyes and clothes and her current dress is poofy and bothersome and so NOT Tima it's ridiculous. But I do like her a lot I'm hoping that once I get time to take pictures of her and get her proper stuff then she'll be mine for real!
       
    7. Back when I was deciding on my first doll (over two years ago!), I was so sure that my CP Miyu was the right one. But, after the excitement and enthusiasm of :fangirl: MY DOLL IS FINALLY HERE :fangirl:, I realised that she really wasn't. :(

      So, years have passed, and while I still love BJDs as much as I did before, Miyu and I were never meant to be. I don't love her, we never bonded, and she still doesn't even have a name. Sometimes I will sit her beside me like she is now, but it's always a bit sad.

      While she might be able to find a place in a larger doll family, the problem is that she's my only doll. I can't buy another because they are so expensive, and if nothing's been "done" with the first doll, it would be a huge (and perhaps stupid) waste of money to buy another. So it seems we're stuck together.

      Has this ever happened to you? Did you not bond with a doll you thought you'd love? Did your doll turn out to be just not right for you? Was this your first doll? What did you do about it? Did it somehow work out in the end?
       
    8. I'm sure things will work out for the best. Volks has this philosophy that each BJD has a destiny and arriving in which ever order is part of that unique destiny of getting to be with the right person.

      If you put up feelers now, wanting to swap the male LittleFee body for Ante's female one, you could have the perfect swap arranged before your little one arrives. Or you could hold on and see whether having a male doll makes a difference. Once Pipi arrives, you could be sold on him being a boy.

      I don't make any solid decisions about characters until the doll arrives and is sitting in my arms and I can look them over and know who they are to me. It might happen for you the same way ;)

      This seems so sad. I suppose you've tried putting her away for a couple of months and seeing if you miss her? If you really don't feel you are suited, try and trade her...or let her go and stay with a BJD friend and you can look after one of theirs at the same time, just to see if a different doll makes a change?

      I'm not as bonded to Alaw as I am to the others, but I'm trying to change this. I've personally made her a new wig, I'm trying to work on clothes, but it takes time...and I do spend more of it with the others, just because I found it easier to bond with them.
       
    9. Huh... you know, I really kinda like that philosophy. :) It makes it seem less stressful, like I "have" to have a character and personality planned before the little thing gets here. ^.^ I'll just have to wait and see. Thanks, Jessica.
       
    10. My bonding process with Idris is going a bit more slowly than I expected. But I am thinking that's mainly because a) getting him was a surprize, and b) he isn't customized yet. He was a gift and came to me as a fullset... so I didnt have plans for his sculpt, nor is he clothed as I would dress him, per se. He isn't quite 'MY' Idris until he has the right stuff on him. But his character is really beginning to emerge. He is loud, in his nervous little way. =^_^= I love him so, though... he's just wonderful. I sigh smittenly every time I look up at him. *L*

      Now, Azhrafael, the Sard who is on the way to me.... that bonding is already done. *L* I have pics of the specific one I am going to own that I simply sit and gaze at sometimes, dreaming of holding him. *L*

      My strongest method to bond with a doll is customizing it, though. I find I even bond a little with ones I am sent for commission. I actually MISS them, when they've gone back home. *L* Rinny-chan, owned by BakaNeko, was such a wonderful houseguest... I can kind of see how people would be interested in running a B&B now. :lol:
       
    11. I grew interested in BJDs years ago, but it wasn't until I saw Irina that I had found the doll. I want her with me all the time, I constantly have to touch her to reassure myself she's real, and now that she's out getting body blushing, I miss her like crazy.

      I feel the same way about my pukis. There's something irresistably mine about them. I like to have them in sight, to see their cute faces.

      ...but a couple months ago, I saw this doll on ebay, and she'd been up a couple times before, and nobody seemed to want her. She had stains on her cap, and her makeup just wasn't all that flattering (in my mind) to her mold. So I decided to purchase her, clean her up. She looks positively gorgeous now, though I've got some new hands on order for her (black nailpolish does NOT want to come off of cream white resin), her wig is exquisite, and she's in clothes that fit her. I named her Liliane because she reminds me of a french actress... But she never told me her name, the way my other dolls did, and I don't have this overwhelming urge to have her with me all the time. I feel guilty about it, because I took her in, changed her.... and while I love the way she looks now, I just... she's just a doll to me. She doesn't feel like one of the family.

      And it bothers me.
       
    12. Before Lien-Hua came home I was all over the place, I was so excited, I'd always be planning out every single detail of him whenever I could (even in math class!) and I'd always be trying to figure out his personality and what his horoscope will be and how long it'd take him to get here. I'd always look at SHA pictures and be like "that'll be my doll some day, except blahblahblahblahblahhh" I'd sneak up onto the computer late at night just to check up on shipping status (which never changed no matter HOW many times I clicked on the 'refresh' button.)
      When Lien-Hua came home it was like a dream come true. We bonded pretty good, I think. I loved him at first sight (I don't know about him xD) and the more I saw his "SERIOUS BUSINESS" face the more I loved him. I constantly took pictures of him (but they never made it onto the web xD) and would always stare at him and try to take him places, but that never worked because my mom would say no and her word is law, apparently. I dragged him all over the house; I'd never leave him alone. ^u^ Lien-Hua warmed up to me and it was a good dollie relationship...
      But then I kind of took a wrong turn and gave him the worst face-up of the year. Everything's gone downhill since. I still love him, but I feel so guilty, I can't even DO anything with him anymore.;n; THE LOVE IS DISAPPEARING D: I think maybe a new face-up and a change of wigs and eyes will do the trick...hopefully. *shoots self* I want him to look beautiful again! T_T
      Cheer for me, please? ^^

      EDIT: Henny! I realized my post was pretty much the same as yours and I want to give you some advice, too. I think a face-up could help you bond more with your doll. I know some doll owners bond more when they do their doll's face-up so maybe that'll happen with you? D;

      ...hm...I remember reading this thread, but I don't remember posting anything in. Have I? I apologize if I did. xD
       
    13. Saif was love at first sight. I saw him and everything was perfect. The End. xD

      Muniya was a bit more complicated. She didn't look exactly like how I wanted (the wig's bangs looked like my little sister's emo-bangs...) and it took me a while to get used to posing her after having gotten used to how Saif posed. I don't think I will sell Muniya though. She definitely turned out a lot more sassy! She hates standing straight, so she's always standing with her hips to the side. She didn't turn out exactly like I wanted, but she's got this really cute charm I didn't see in the photos in the planning stages. I also felt a little down because a lot of people thought Saif was better. Though without the evil emo-bang of doom, I wouldn't've ever tried giving her hair clips and Muniya is even cuter with gigantic (proportionally speaking) hair clips.
       
    14. You know, to me it sounds like you've saved someone else's dream doll. Maybe that's difficult to deal with, and maybe it's not true (heck, I don't even have a single doll home yet!) but that's kinda what it feels like from reading your post. Would you get more satisfaction and joy, d'you think, in trying to bond with her or in sending her off to someone who will love her instantly, the way you do your other dolls?

      Now, don't get me wrong here--I'm not saying OMG SELL HER DUURRR, 'cause that'd be rude and insensitive. Of course you'll try to bond with your new girl first! XD But it's a thought. Maybe you should ask your other dolls what they think of her, try to get them to interact, and then see?
       
    15. Well, I took Lili with me to a doll meet yesterday, and while it was neat seeing her interact with other dolls-she and my pukis simply ignore each other-and I did get a hint of personality from her... I felt guilty the entire time wishing Irina had been home so I could have brought her instead. :(

      But I finally did get some sort of something off of her, so who knows? I figure I'll give it until the end of this year before making a decision. I've read that sometimes it takes a few months to really bond, so I'm trying to be open about it. I still have hope! :)
       
    16. I fell in love with Shoyo-3 at a first look. But when she was home, bonding was really hard. She didn't feel right to me. But now I am really really happy and I feel stupid because I was thinging to sell her. I love her now and she has her own character, differend from the one I was thinking to her. But now she's my Mimi^^
       
    17. After about year and a half after receiving my dolls, I'm finally starting to feel that "bonding" feeling.

      Both of my boys are FCS and, while it was a really great experience going through the Full Choice System and while they came to me looking exactly like I hoped, I just didn't really bond with them. They sat in my room for a long time just looking pretty. I think it's because I didn't really put anything into making them my own. They were pretty much complete when I got them and, in a way, they seemed too precious to play with or even touch. Also, I kind of rushed into getting my dolls and didn't flesh them out or give them deep personalities. I rushed in picking their names, which is really unlike me.

      I did try changing them, buying new eyes and wigs, but that didn't work. I tried developing their personalities, but that didn't work either. They just felt like dolls. It was really depressing.

      Sometime over the summer I threw out the idea of turning them into girls. Maybe I'd relate to them better, but I didn't really take myself seriously. Then, to make a long story short, one day while listening to a really beautiful song featuring cello and violin, and I felt inspired. That's when I seriously decided to change them into girls. Angry, lesbian, schoolgirl musicians XD. Madelene, who plays the cello melancholically, and Lysette, a violin prodigy. While I'm not a musician, I think these new characters suit me.

      Over the past few months, I've been thinking up their characters and creating an image of what they'd look like. Saving, buying, and putting them together piece by piece. Through all of that, I'm getting really attached to them. I'm happy that I'm finally making them my own. And in everything I do to make them complete, I feel really happy because I'm doing it out of love for them :aheartbea. That sounds really sappy I know, but I'm a really sappy person XD.

      I'm not sure if I'm just relating my story, vaguely offering advice, or some mix of the two, but that's my two cents :).
       
    18. I have pretty much got used to the idea esp when it's the first doll I have bought from a company, it's either a hate or love feeling and if love then I may buy others as in the case of Dollstown while others it's been so bad for me due to my fickleness that I just never buy from that company again. But what has really hurt is fact with one of my latest. I love him, he poses well except for this weird thing with his torso but I can generally fix it and all is well. Well I thought I was so happy with him I ordered 2 more from same company and will be making final payment next week. Problem is now I am feeling not as close to this guy as I do my others and wondering will that trickle down to the other two as well. I worry mainly because one is a gift from DH but then again won't be first doll he has bought I have sold., But should I wait and see if the 3 make me feel they are now a family, or should I hope I can find them all new homes quickly?
       
    19. Hmm, I felt bonded to both my dolls before they even came. Since, my first doll I was so excited to have I already had everything all planned out for him and had made jewelry and other things awaiting his coming. My second doll, I planned around Gambit (my favorite comic hero) and being the rabid fangirl that I am it wasn't hard to fall in love with a doll I based on someone I already loved (shameless, I know >.>;).
       
    20. TBH, I was actually basing my first doll on a character that I created (and bonded with if that sounds strange) many years ago. She's an elf so I had to limit my search down (however, I was looking at human dolls too) and I found quite a variety, but from the moment I saw B&G Sapphira I knew she (he at the time because Sapphira was male lol) was Akakios. I didn't know whether I would bond or how I would react when I finally opened the box.

      I can honestly say it was love at first sight :)

      Then, to make things more interesting, my 2nd doll, which was a spur of the moment thing, arrived too. So, it was a kinda three way bonding process. I had to bond with my two girls and they had to bond with each other. As luck would have it they have formed a strong attachment to one another (hope that doesn't sound too weird) and I actually can see them as sisters. They do everything together. Akakios is very protective of her lil sis :lol: I think they get on better with each other than they do with me lol.

      So yeah. It will take a while for them to fully develop within themselves (I need to get more clothes, correct wig/eyes) but I know that my girls are happy and keep each other company when I'm not around.