Bonding and YOU.

I tend not to have bonding issues because every doll I buy, I usually have a character in mind that I want that particular doll to be when it arrives. I buy wigs and clothes in advance before the doll arrives so that when it does arrive, I can dress it up to look like whichever character he/she is meant to be personifying.

However, in rare cases, something might happen and make bonding a little difficult. For example, for my character Dieter, I had always wanted a big doll (at least 70cm in height) and I simply loved the look of the DoD DoIs, so I ordered a DoI Luke. When he arrived, he just became Dieter automatically as soon as he was out of his bubblewrap cocoon. I can honestly say that I bonded with Dieter so naturally and so fast that I decided straight away that I could never sell him.

But for my character Siegfried, I had looked around for a good SD doll for him. I originally wanted a Luts CP Delf Yder and almost ordered one off their website when Luts suddenly re-released the limited SDFs Cian and Dion. Now, I liked Cian from the moment I looked at him; I'm pretty sure the reason was because he looks like an adult Kid Delf Bory. Bory was one of the MSD dolls on my list when I was shopping around for my very first doll.

So, I ordered a SDF Cian instead of a Yder. It was definitely a spur of the moment purchase... which showed when the doll arrived. I did NOT like Cian's puffy cheeks and child-like face at all My character Siegfried is 19, and does not look like a child, so suffice it to say, we didn't bond immediately the way I did with Dieter.

It took two months and several wig and eye changes before I managed to find the 'perfect' look for my Cian; only then did I really start to bond with him.. when he looked more like my character Siegfried and less like an adult Kid Delf Bory

I've got a Soom elf Sabik coming soon... he's meant to be my character Nickolaus Volker a.k.a. the Norse wolf god Hati... I hope I don't have any bonding problems with him like I did with Siegfried. Sieg was fine because he's quite small in size, but Nick's going to be a 80cm Mecha Angel. I'm not sure what I would do if we don't bond straight away and all he'll be doing is standing/sitting somewhere in my room like a over sized paper weight

 

I try to do this, too. I try to have at least the right eyes and hair, and enough of an outfit that the doll isn't naked or TOTALLY out of character. So far, I've bonded really well and fast to my two complete dolls - almost immediately, but it got stronger as their outfits became more complete and correct for their characters, as I took photos with them, and as I did things with them (like hot-glue sueding Riddick!).

I'm not quite as bonded with Kale, but that's because he doesn't feel completely "here" yet - since he's just a head. Even when I put him on Riddick's body briefly over the weekend he felt like an interloper, since the body was still very much Riddick's. I think once he's permanently on a body, I'll bond more strongly with him. Doing his faceup was helpful, too, since it turned out well enough that I'm not embarrassed to show it - but I'm still planning to commission a faceup for him in the Spring, which will probably make him even more "him". His personality is there already, he's just not "saying" as much to me as the other two yet. Except that he needs a shirt or hoodie or something, and some boots, please!

 

I'm about to acquire the second half of my second doll, so he's been a head for nearly a year. I bought a Lu Wen off a friend, intending to upgrade my msd. I saw the mold and didn't 'see' Jay anywhere. XD I'll freely admit, I did entertain the idea of selling said head. Resin matching issues and whatnot. The friend that sold me the head let me borrow her boy's body during otakon for a quick minute and I knew I was keeping the head afterall. It also helped that another friend sold me some eyes that just Fit perfectly with the character that was developing.

I'm also the sort of person that if a prethought of character type doesn't mesh well with the doll, I'm willing to change the character to fit the doll. This actually happened with my first doll. I had ideas of him being cute and innocent and just awwww... Sheah. First time I had him standing there pretty sturdy on a shelf, I was putzing around the bottom. The doll pitches forward and nails me in the back of the neck with his pointy nose (it hurt. alot. But that's what I get for ignoring the doll). So I had to re-arrange how I saw him in my mind's eye.

I think one of the biggest secrets behind bonding is time. And sometimes, like in Isaiah's case..it sneaks up on you and smacks you in the head with the right eyes and wig.

 

you know, for me it is not about the whole doll, it is about pulling the parts together. When I got my first doll, a Hound, it was plain and simply because I was in love with his hands. Oh I knew what character he would be, and had debated getting an El, or a Yder, but then I saw Hound and the lank and those hands, and I was gone. I got him home and was in love instantly, so it surprised me to discover that only grew as I slowly pulled him together, doing his mods, getting the right eyes, and the right wig, and to be honest I am still working on him, I think I always will be, it is just the way he is.

My second doll I had issues with, I loved his head sculpt, but it was just wrong on the body it came on, even though they were designed to be together. I nearly sold him, then put him on a different body and suddenly he just came to life for me, I had the right doll all along, he just needed the right body!

Some of my dolls have not been this way, they have been perfect from the get go, bonding has been instant, but not many, this is mostly because I quickly learned to NOT accept the company body as the right one, as few of my dolls are not mix and matched, out of 13 so far only4 are not, one is about to loose his factory body for an upgrade, and two more hybrids are about to join the family, admittedly along with two more dolls on factory bodies (yay for birthday and tax return time!)

I guess we are all different, but it seems for me I bond most strongly with those I have to work on the most to make them who they are, swapping bodies, mods, searching out the perfect wig or boots or eyes or something else.. it is all part of the process

 

I am in awe by the beauty of my F16, Phyllis. I love to carry her around everywhere, but I'm not really bonding with her. I don't know why. I waited to go to the LA Sumika for so long and order her, and I made countless drawings of her and had already developed her character and was just anticipating her coming so much... I was awed and overjoyed when she came, but I can't bond with her that well. She just looks so arrogant or vague all the time and plus her wig is so easy to damage so I can't hug her or play with her easily. Thankfully a new wig's on the way. It's only been like a week since I got her so I hope I warm to her more.

 

Of all my dolls I have those that I consider "cuddly" As in they get drug with me to the sofa where they lean against me and we watch tv. or look at the internet, I have some that just seem to be all too content sitting in the big chair.

The only bonding experience I have is my achernar the sd from hell. his existance was a botch from the beginning to end, I got him then realized he was WAY too big, a secondary sale didn't go through and so I had this doll that i didn't know what to do with. It was actually my roomate who shoved him at me and told me to take him in to my room to sit by the bed for a few days. So i could figure out if I wanted to keep him or not. Apparently.... she was right. Because now hes probibly my most beloved sd. Hes had so much work done to make him my boy but I could never sell him now.

 

I've had Alex just over a month now, and he's my very first doll.
When I ordered him, I had his character all worked out, and when he arrived I was all 'Wow, wow, wow!'. But as I did his face up, made his first outfit, and got his wig, I quickly realised he was someone else. The Alex I envisioned was funny and cheeky, but the Alex I had seemed quiet and a bit sensitive. The strange thing is I didn't like him any less for it, and today I discovered just how much he'd grown on me when I had to give him a squeeze just before I took him apart to re-do his faceup tomorrow. His little chair is empty, and I hate it. I know he's just in his box in the other room, but I'm suprised by how sad it makes me.

 

I didn't think I had any problems bonding with either of my dolls. I was wrong.

I have a very set 'character' for who I picture No Name to be. I wanted such and such sort of wig, he needed this certain outfit...whatever. Today I felt brave and wrestled his headcap off (he's strung so tight, I can't even imagine where to begin fixing it; I really need to go to a meet up and find someone knowledgeable to help me, it's really just his legs/head that's the problem, his arms are fine...) and even though I couldn't get his head off completely, I still managed to change his eyes from brown to a light turquoise.

The results were immediate. I honestly thought he was even better looking than he had been previously. I went to go do something else, but I couldn't get him out of my head. I had to go back, and put him in his original wig he came with (something I despised and have been looking for a replacement ever since I got him; none of the ones I've got ever seemed to suit him), fluffed it out a bit, put him him more casual clothing...

He's gorgeous. He's perfect. He feels so /right/. And I even took him with me to sit at the computer (and left poor Florian upstairs XD). Just changing his eyes made me feel so much more closer to him, I feel like he's saying "This is how it should be!".

Hey, maybe he won't be "No Name" much longer. I despaired ever finding him a name that fit, so much so that No Name actually became his name...maybe now that he's starting to feel right, I can pick something that'll suit him. :3

 

Funny thing, when I got my Migidoll Ryu head I had no problem bonding with him whatsoever. Even though he's still a floating head and I haven't done his faceup yet something about him just clicked with me instantly.

However I got my Supia Roda at the beginning of this month and have a had a lot of trouble getting attached to her. I think it might be because she's still in her default eyes/wig that make her look vacant and too innocent and she only has one outfit that doesn't work all that well on her.

It's made me kind of sad since I invested a lot of money and time into choosing the perfect doll for me, waiting three months and then being kind of disapointed. She's absolutely gorgeous but we haven't clicked quite yet.

I'm sure we will though, I traded out her 16mm brown eyes for green 14mm ones and it made a huge difference. When her new wig, eyes and clothes come I'm hoping her character and name will jump out at me then

 

My first doll I had real trouble bonding with. I went through so many names as he was meant to be Theo, a character I'd already come up with but that didn't suit him at all. I settled on a tentative elvish name and tried to make him into a tortured ranger character of sorts and we had a bit of a iffy relationship. I was so upset that the magic I'd hoped for wasn't there.

When my first LUTS doll came along who I fell in love with immediately, I was considering selling my first doll, who was then called Aranel. I got as far as packing him into his Iplehouse bag and the buyer promising to send payment before bursting into tears and telling them that I couldn't sell him as I hadn't realised how much he meant to me. We bonded that evening and he is still my most special treasured doll with his proper name and character, who isn't actually tortured as I'd tried to make him, but a deep thinking, regal man with a fighting spirit.

Ironically my Lu-Wen, Gull, is still causing me some trouble to bond with. He was going to be a sweet but bratty elf prince but is actually very aloof and a very independent spirit albeit loving to my SooRi. After switching their wigs recently, a sweeter side to him has shown through that I hadn't seen before so I'm getting to know him a bit better now

My Chiwoo has a similar story of 'almost-sold-but-not-after-realising-importance-to-me' to my SooRi. He was adopted from the market place and I wasn't used to having a second hand doll who wanted to cling to his name. I let him keep it and tried to give him a character that I wanted him to be. He didn't fit in with my other two, things went sour and I nearly ended up selling him. Upon convincing the buyer how sweet he was, I made myself realise that actually I still wanted him after all and was tbh, quite relieved when the buyer turned him down. Turns out I'd bonded with him without realising
Now, I've just accepted that he doesn't fit in or match the feral personality I'd hoped he had. He's a sweet little loner and he's happy with that and so am I

The only one with no issues was my CCC Deer Faith. She leapt out of her wooden box and backhanded every expectation I had of her. She was meant to be sweet and shy and frightened and instead was this ballsy, bossy, confident little firecracker and I love her for it.

Forcing personas on dolls doesn't work for me. It's only when I stop trying to turn them into something do I bond with them. That way they are themselves, not some tortured princeling character from blah kingdom that I want them to be xD

 

Bonding is a fun thing.

James was my first dolly, a Delf Harang bought by my girlfriend as an early Christmas present. I was, I'll admit, terrified of not bonding with him, for obvious reasons. *laughs* When she showed me pictures of his blank face (she ordered him without faceup) I was in shock. I didn't...feel anything for him, and I was worried I never would.

Once she'd done his faceup, I was utterly in love. She sent him to me, and (despite his original faceup cracking and getting a new one) he will always be near and dear to my heart. He sleeps on my nightstand next to me, he has his own blanket that I made for him, and he's just...I love him.

Clover was a little more difficult. I loved the mold, but I didn't really feel any need to get one until a friend of mine was selling hers. I asked if I could see her Ariel before she got sold, and the first meetup I went to, I saw her and bam. It was instant love. I got to carry her around (along with James) and at the end of the meetup, my friend trusted me enough to let me take her home and do a layaway-dealie. For a while, her personality was elusive, but once I figured her out... she sleeps on my other side, on a pillow on my bed.

Choko...oh god, Choko...little Bobobie Elfkin, I had to have her. My girlfriend, again, bought her and I was almost more excited for her than James. No bonding issues there, I loved her before she got here and the minute she was here she was speaking to me about who she was.

Lanon, a Lati White Laches, isn't quite so outspoken about who he is, but that's to be expected -- He's like, six months old! He's James' son and that alone was enough to make me fall in love with him. His adorable face was just love at first sight.

Bo...is more complicated...and yet so simple. A friend of mine had a Delf Elf Yder head, BW resin...which accidentally got dyed in some nail polish remover! She was so upset, he sat in a box until my friends and I convinced her to take pictures...I dunno what it was, but I looked at him and a character of mine immediately spoke up. I had to have him. My friend was more than happy to sell him to me; he's recently gotten a faceup and a wig and has his correct eyes on the way... He's never going to have eyebrows or eyelashes and that's part of his character, and I love him to death! I cannot wait to get a body and take sooo many pictures.

That's my bonding stories. Sorry for being long-winded...

 

Well, my first BJD was my Bobobie Sprite, Mokuren. No matter what I tried, I could not get attached to her. I literally had her for over half a year and could not get attached. Mokuren is now known as Aaleayah and has a great home with my good friend Jessica.

My second BJD is my Bobobie Sunny, Edvard. The minute I saw him in the marketplace, I knew I had to buy him. The second I held him, I felt bonded to him. To this day he is very, very, very precious to me. I never planned on him, I didn't even have a character created for him ahead of time... It all just happened, and he made very clear who he was.

Zaius, my newest doll, is one of my oldest rp characters. What was really interesting is that Zaius came to me with a gorgeous dark faceup and beautiful dark hazel eyes (just like his character)... Those were he defaults from ResinSoul! :P Definitely was an interesting experience...

Unlike Edvard, it's taken me quite a bit to bond with Zaius. Some difficulties with getting the right wig, right clothes, and fixing up his body had distracted me from really bonding with him. Now however, we are close as can be!

 

I've had three dolls as of yet, and every one I've ended up selling, due to not being able to bond with them. Currently I have Friday, a MSD girl, but she just sits there and I don't feel very bonded to her either.
I feel terrible about it cuz they've all been wonderful dolls, but I just find myself unable to figure out exactly why they're with me.

Has anyone else had this problem?
Could it be because I've bought all my dolls without specific plans for their characters?

 

Maybe this just isn't the hobby for you?

 

I find saying that kinda rude :/
I love the hobby, and I did love my dolls, but found mysef unable to develop them into anything more than. well. dolls.

 

Maybe you jumped into it too fast? Did you collect other dolls before, I'm just curious because I'll be getting my first soon (but I also have other dolls that I love/play with)

 

Maybe you just need to enjoy them as dolls then? There's nothing wrong with that either. Dolls are pretty, customizable, and you don't really need a reason to enjoy them beyond that. I don't feel like I need to have a reason for my dolls other than that I like them and I think they're nice to look at.

 

I've never quite understood what other owners mean about 'bonding' with their doll.

To me, when I don't 'bond' it just means i'm disapointed in the doll, it does not look the way I thought it would or feels like too little for what I paid (again, it's matter of the doll not looking the way I expected it to look or the doll not posing the way I wanted.)

But you mention loving all three you've sold and thinking the were beautiful, i'm curious, what else do you expect of a doll?

 

Have you tried doing more things with them? Customizing, taking more or different photos (maybe try using some of the threads in the games area as "challenges" for yourself to take those types of photos), maybe trying a new look? Or maybe just enjoy them as dolls, as said above.

 

I guess they just didn't speak to me personally - they didn't feel like "my" dolls.