Bonding and YOU.

My experience with Phiyero is...well I don't know et about bonding to be honest.
I had looked at BJD's before a good few years ago infact and figured I would never have one...far too expensive, and could never really justify getting one! So I put it out of my mind and enver really thoguht of it again. Until this past April. I happened upon the Dollmore store in Seoul! I was there for about a week afer finishing an internship in Phuket Thailand. I didn't really get the time to REALLY examine the dolls at that time but Seeing them in person did flare up that desire to have one.
So naturally, A few days later I decided I was going to order one. Didn't even think about the price really. Rationalized that it would make an amazing drawing model to work with as well as decoration for the house later! Hah.
I do alot of rping..and I had thought that I was going to be buying a doll for my character Ripley. So I went searching the dollmore site, I loved some of the glamour model dolls but just couldn't stand their hands and arms..for my first doll, and especially to be Ripley, I didn't want veining in the sculpt.
So instead I went for the Model dolls. My first instinct was to go with Kyle Reese. He is beautifull! but after some deliberation and bothering some of my rp partners I decided agaisnt him and ordered the Hanoel Moon instead.
I'm actually kind of glad of that because looking at the Dollmore Model doll database on here Sooo many people have Kyle Reese! And even though you can alter them to be entirely different little people it's nice to have something different. Though I'm sure theres more hanoels out there then on the database.
Anyways!
Weeks and weeks of waiting and I honestly never touched any doll related thing. I thoguht about it sure, but never came on DoA, nothing. Then he got here.
I was super excited! I got his box opened. and my initial reaction really was suprise. He was so big! Naturally...even thoguh it says 70 cm's when you;re ordering it I never really pictures just how big he would be. I think that alone impressed me about him.... But getting him out and getting him dressed I found.....he just wasn't Ripley, and I was a little disappointed with the default face-up. And his legs are floppy! I know part of it is likely the wig and the eyes. He has a black wig, and pink eyes. Ripley on the other hand has long red hair and green eyes. So theres the obviously fault there.... I know maybe if I changed the wig and eyes... but I don't have any other wig and the toher eyes I have sent as a free gift are yellow, and too big. I guess they're 16mm?
And seeing as he wa a spur of the moment purchase to begin with...on visa no less. I'm still paying HIM off let alone thinking of buying a new wig and eyes.
I decided I would make an entirely new character based around him. And over the past few weeks I've grown closer to him and enjoy him a little more. A few outfit chages from what clothes I boguht with him. A haircut as well.... and we're doing allright! It too about two weeks to decide on his name... I liked Finbar, but that wasn't fitting either.
Slowly I think he'll come more into whoever 'Phiyero' is...and it will be fun exploring that idea. Maybe someday I'll be brave enough to try a faceup on him and fix those lips...I also think he needs a little more eyeshadow.
I also after his arrival started looking more at other doll companies.... other options. And there are soo many gorgeous dolls out there! I'm picky about the looks I like. But Soom dolls I think are high on my list. But I won't be able to afford one for many years. Do I regret using my one time thousand doller splurge on Phi? No. And though I said I would onyl ever own two....I can't wait to buy him a friend. I'm thinking something with hooves.... but I was sad to see Sooms Faun type character is Female!! And yet she has antlers.

Am I bonded to Phi? It's tentative for now..but we're getting there. A few tweaks here and there. Tighter pants! And some sueding....
As for Ripley.... I still plan on having him embodied in resin. I just need to find the right body.

 

Well, I have also liked dolls so I sorta expected it to be like that when I ordered Nola. I remember when I first started reading the boards and was a little wigged out by the conversations of bonding and what not. Then Nola (Puki Lily) arrived and once I got past the shock of her tiny size I was in complete love.

J'Tem (LittleFee Ante) is more of the distance thing. I mean, she is cuddly but as she was the most expensive I am a little bit more concerned with her (which is funny because of course she was the one who broke when the wind knocked her down).

Jenna Amy (Bobobie Espree)... Ah, me and this doll have been going 'round and 'round. When I first took her out of her bag I was like "ACK!" and left her in her bag in my spare room forever. But I didn't give up on her and I have been working with her lately and I think that we are working it out.

 

I love these kinds of threads XD;

Sade is my first and only BJD at the moment. He's based on a role-play character my Sister made, whom i love dearly XD; So when i seen a doll that looked exactly like him I flipped.

So go figure, i was bonded to him before he was even made yet! It only got worse after i paid for him and he was on his way..

I've had him for exactly 3 months today (i should celebrate XD) and he's my best friend X3; That might sound weird to some people but i dont mind~ He's part of the family now, my Mom loves him and now she is saving for a doll of her own. My Dad supports me and thinks Sade is interesting but hes a manly man who doesn't play with "dolls"
Ah well..Mabye one day~

 

My bonding usually happens during the box-opening. I always do a photostory box-opening and this definitely helps me to bond with them when they are all bald and nekkid xD...

Photostories definitely help with bonding and character growth, I think.

 

I've bonded quicker than a ray of light with Amber, I had no character in mind for a girl, just a vague idea but when I saw her it was her and no one else.

When I received her I know I wouldn't regret to have been so quick to decide for her, even if that doll isn't alive I'm sure she has a soul ~.~ and like to play trick on me lol

But recently someone told me this and I got the worst breaking moment inside of me.

X : That's ... as that doll, why did you bought her ? It's an useless thing and so expensive, you don't have money why did you do that ? ( I saved for a doll since ages and ask help from no one !!!) What did it bring you ? Nothing ! You just make clothes, for her, that's so useless it bring you back nothing ! You have that little doll it was enough ( I also paid ALL myself for Ryu -_- )

Me : ...... why do you tell me this now, why don't you told me this before I buy it ?!
X : ... pff now you know, You got what you deserved!
Me ( totally devasted at that moment ) : I will sell her then ( wished to know the reaction to this)
X : Pfff you wouldn't even get back your whole money ....

I stared at the wall blindly, crying silently, I never been so hurt and humiliated even worst when it is your own mother that was pretty happy with the girl and who "played" with before !

Ok I have financial issue, luckily no bills nor whatever, but I always saved hard every cents I may win "working" here and there to buy myself things.

I only have three things ( at home) I cherish, my bunny, and my two dolls and to hear this ......

A few days again and it will be a week since last time I took Amber out of her box since this .... I can't face her, I wait a wig and a pair of boots .... I will wait until to receive them and took her out again and load the bonding session once more .... I love her that's just I hear those words running thought my mind each time I think to Amber.

Honestly if I would had thought I would get a bonding problem, I would had thought it would had been my own fault, a bad face up, unable to do the clothes right I want ... but not this .....

 

DOT Homme Ducan was the very first sculpt I wanted to own no matter what. Et voilà, Now my beloved Lawrence is home^^
It was love at first sight. I saw the store photos and fell in love with the sculpt. Eventually I ordered him and had to wait 2 months. during those two months me and my boyfriend talked about him, made up his character together, thought about a name, stuff like that. When I look back it sounds a little bit like a pregnancy XD
Anyway, when he arrived we could hardly believe it. It just felt so unreal to have him home. But the day after I cuddled him and he sat on both my and my boyfriend's laps, we had so much fun!
I could cuddle Lawrence all day long... I love him to death! He's become a part of me in an instant.

 

When I got Seung (Souldoll Kanguk) I loved him dearly and I carry him around everywhere and sometimes I'm even standing around at work wishing I could be at home just to hold and cuddle him.
But when I got Abilene (Soulkid Linn) in the mail, I wasn't even all that excited to open her box when she arrived for some reason... I felt bad about it but I just didn't feel attached to her at all. And whenever I would look at her face she would just look sad or hurt or angry so I knew I couldn't keep her. I think I had her a full 21 days before I sold her to my best friend Hachi, I hope they are able to bond and that she gets the home she deserves.

 

I'm in love with all the ones i don't have yet XD They have names, backgrounds, stories, and styles already, i just lack the funds for them!

As for the boy who i am actually getting, love at first sight does not begin to cover it! Here it goes...

I was at A-Kon 20, in Dallas, TX, with my mom, looking for the booth her friend's sister was suppoes to have. Takes us like, an hour and we find it and sitting in the back i spot the most beautiful, most spoiled looking little brat of a boy i have ever seen. Now, prior to this my dream was a DoD Homme Ducan. But the moment i saw Lestat i was sold. My mom pointed the dolls out, for he was with several others, and i started to correct her, telling her they weren't for sale, since i haddn't seen any fully clothed, assembled, ready to go dolls for sale at A-Kon 19, or anywhere, when the lady said they were for sale and pointed out the little, previously unseen signs with their prices. Only $350, with everything, and the most beautiful doll i had ever seen? Was i dreaming!? I begged my mom but she said we didn't have the money but she would get in touch with the lady and see about getting me one at a later date, once my graduation money came in and she got paid again. I was crushed. It had to be him. I kept checking on him all weekend and on Sun i returned home bearing the news that my boy had not been bought! My mom got in touch and, sure enough, he was still available. A few words and the lady lowered the price, as a graduation present, and put him on hold for me! Now, i'm only $135 short and i hope to have him by next week at the latest!

 

I just got my Soom Sard (which I have been ALL over the board about
I have had an immediate bond with him I have had 4 other dolls and the bond was never as strong as it is with him. I have wanted him for so long I think this adds to it.
I've loved the Soom MDs but never got one. Now I am hooked. I think I am going to be a stricly Soom collector. I am already thinking I need to sell my other two so I can begin with the Soom only collection. I really think I am just going to stick with the Soom MDs and have a magical folk collection!
There is not a thing I would change about him! He has the default make-up and it is perfect for me. I did switch out his eyes and wig but that is it. He is perfect to me. I thought I knew what it meant to love your dolls but with him (Drosselmier) it is so much different!
What is the term..."I've been Soomed" and I love it!​

 

Aww... that's the saddest story I have heard....

Give her another chance. When her wig comes in, dress her up in her best clothing, pack a tasty-lunch of your favorite things and take her outside someplace pretty and just take lot and lots of photos of her.

It might sound silly, but I believe that a Doll found it's way to you for company and to comfort you. I'm sure that Amber will be happy to help you forget those words that your mother had said.




... er, I hope that I didn't sound like a total nut-bar.

 

This is indeed such a sad story, that someone could be so cruel about something you truly care about and worked so hard for!

I have to admit... my mother knows about my dolls, but not how much they cost. I just said 'expensive'. But I earn the money myself and I do not ask to borrow from her so she doesn't really care. I would imagine she would probably say much worse about what a waste it was.

But, I do not give her the chance.

YOU worked for her and YOU earned her and no one has a right to tell you that you cannot spend the money you earn for something you care about, even if it is meaningless to them.

When I have saved for something and worked hard for it, to me it represents something special, all the time and effort I went to as well as something beautiful and lasting. If I just spend money on going out or something, it is different.

Don't let anyone spoil your enjoyment of your doll!

 

@Elysion gear & ryochan

Thank you !
My mother know how and where to hurt ! The prob is now I wonder : and if she was right ?! I try to chase that idea quickly but now I will need time to stop to think about.

I still wait for her new wig and boots but nothing come but still, I didn't take her out since ..... I'm doing her a coat ( it will be summer soon lol ) and I need to check on her but no, I didn't even took her out .... I'm stupid to be so easily hurt

I have been heavily sick past week so I didn't toucher Amber much and now this .... it feel liks ages since last time I saw my doll.

 

I'm glad I read this thread.

I never thought "bonding" would be an issue....mainly because I had thought the idea of bonding to a doll or a figure was a touch silly (I'm an adult after all!). In hind sight my own scoffing at bonding amuses me cause I'm totally bonded to my Transformers....if one of them so much as falls over I'm all "Oh No!!" and I run to their aid. If I'm shooting a TF comic I even go so far as to make them comfy on my couch as they wait for their scene to be shot.....nooooooo, I don't bond to dolls or figures at all! LOL.

I'm actually having trouble at the moment bonding with my MSD Fiona. Granted she was a bit of an impluse buy. But I adored her when I got her. And when I got her wig and dress it was awesome.
Problem started when I got my other doll Annaleigh. I had actually ordered Annaleigh first then Fiona but Fiona got home first. When Annaleigh arrived it was instant bonding. I love love love her! I want to take her everwhere with me. And I just don't feel that way with Fiona. I could leave her on my dresser and not give her another thought. Not so with Annaleigh.
I'm thinking part of the problem is I planned with Annaleigh. I had months to do so as I waited for her. Wig, eyes, dresses, shoes, all that. I didn't do any of that with Fiona. I got her a wig, dress, and eyes and have left it at that. I don't believe they are right for her. I had even thought about selling her but I feel I would be throwing away a perfect opportunity to work with her (does that make sense??).
So I'm going to take others advice and start modding. I want to re-do her face up myself, new wig, make her some new clothes.....basically strip away the stale identity I've placed on her and give her more room to express her personality.

 

My first two girls, I didn't bond with at all.

My puki pipi! I loved her so much. I wanted her so bad. I got her, and while I did love her a lot, I never bonded with her. It was very obvious when I needed money and she was the easiest to let go.

My Volks Nasia. I fell in love with a marketplace girl, and i bought her fairly cheap. When she got her, I was instantly disappointed. I tried so hard to bond with her. Got her different wigs and eyes, all trying to make her fit. And she just didn't. So I sold her again to a home that *will* love her.

My BBB Mei, Akemi! I got her for Christmas from Amb2730 and her then boyfriend. I had wanted her since she came out. I'm in total love with her. It wasn't a slow bond at all. I nearly had a heart attack from Joy when I opened the present, and I've been hard core attached to her ever since. I take her to all the meets, I take her with me on certain trips, I don't think I'd go on a big trip without her. I make her clothes, I finally broke down and learned how to do face ups and restring with her. She's the doll I'm convinced I'll always have.

My DZ Nina, Ingrid. I haven't bonded with her yet, but I've only had her for three weeks, and her heads beeen gone for most of it. I think once I get her head back I'll bond with her very quickly. I'm hoping so, anyways. I love the concept I have for her. I love looking for her perfect eyes and wig. I love looking for clothes for her concept. yes yesss~~ She excites me so very much.

 

It worries me a little that I don't seem to have "bonded" with my dolls much. I like them a lot, that's true, and they make wonderful decorations for my room and pose extremely well to enable my whimsy photography. Thier stories also give them much character and I imagine dialouges between them, which are fascinating.

On the other hand, I can't shake this feeling that apart from all that, they're just consumer commodities and I probably wouldn't be too upset if I were forced to let them go - but then, I hardly get upset over anything. It might be something to do with Asian culture and how we were brought up not to form or physically show attachments or raw emotions.

Having said that, though, I have never wanted anything so much as I want my twins now. Maybe my bonding issues with my current dolls is just to do with their characters have gotten a bit old.

 

Bonding is a big thing for me because if I don't bond then it has to go. I once fell out of love from a doll I had, he was good while I had him but his body mechanisms and joints were driving me nuts. I had to give him away.

 

I was drawn to my Ivy immediately; it was an instant connection. I feel extremely bonded to her, and I just want to bring her everywhere with me ^_^

(I hope I don't sound totally nutso, lol. )

 

This BJD bonding thing is the strangest, most inexplicable thing - it has been a totally unexpected aspect of BJDs for me!! TOTALLY unexpected!!

I'm new to BJDs, and like others who have posted in this thread, my initial reaction to references to "bonding" was a bit skeptical. I'm thinking if you purchased the doll, you obviously really liked it ('cause they ain't cheap!), so what's the problem?

Well, I've now experienced both sides of the bonding issue BIG time! I felt an immediate bond with my first two BJDs - as soon as they were out of their wrappings, even bald and naked, I was immediately smitten with them! And one of them even turned out to be a completely different character/personality than what I had planned for her. The instant I unpacked her, I knew the character I had in mind for her was NOT who she was!! I knew it with absolute certainty. But I still bonded with her immediately. Actually, I love the fact that she dictated her own personality!!

On the other end of the spectrum, I recently received my first tiny size doll (teeny tiny - 15cm). I'd looked at a lot of pictures, loved her sculpt, and finally decided to get her. When she arrived, she looked as she did in the pictures - she is a really lovely little doll. But I just feel no connection to her - she does nothing for me. It quickly became apparent it wasn't going to happen between us, and so I am letting her go. Just like people, I guess.....there are some you just don't click with for no apparent reason....there is just no explaining it.

 

I am having a lot of trouble bonding with my first BJD, Tae-Jun at the moment. I spent months saving for him, and looking forward to buying him, and then I finally got him in February. When he first arrived, we were inseparable. I brought him all around the house with me, and had him sitting with me while I was going about my business, and took lots of photos of him, even though he only had one outfit.
However, now that I have my second boy, a MD Ryu and I am anxiously awaiting his body, I am finding I don't feel bonded to Tae-Jun at all anymore. I just bought a bunch of clothes, mostly for Asriel (my Ryu) and even a shirt for a doll I haven't even started saving for, but none for Tae-Jun. I often feel kind of angry when I look at him and think "You are standing in my way from getting other dolls..." I'm also anxious to get Asriel completed and start working on him and making him clothes. I also find that Tae-Jun is...not photogenic at all, and this disappoints me a lot.
I definitely don't want to sell him anytime soon, because he was my first and is very important to me, but I don't like feeling like he's in my way or was a waste or bad choice. I've been recommended to put him back in his box for a while and leave him alone, see if I miss him. I will most likely try this soon, but does anyone else have recommendations that would help me bond with him again?

(I think my biggest regret is buying these dolls without preexisting characters for them, with the intention of developing their characters. I have done this a bit, actually moreso with Asriel, but Tae-Jun just has...well, basically no personality. Now that I have gotten more into dolls, I have decided on many characters I've had for a long time that I want to have dolls of, who have much more developed characters, and I can just see myselves enjoying them so much more, and so I'm going round and roundd in my head about this and it's making me have very negative opinions of my current dolls, especially Tae-Jun.)

 

I don't know if it's because part of me wants to believe that myth that BJDs have souls or what, but I really do feel like I'm starting to bond with my dolls. It's a bit silly too, because when I bought them, I had no pre-existing character traits for either of them. As soon as I got them and actually held them, it's like I automatically knew who they were. A few hair and eye transplants later, and they almost feel like family.

I feel so weird saying it, but I don't think I could sell them at this point.