Bonding and YOU.

Tynan was my first BJD and it was love strait out of the box. Once he had his outfit and wig on there was no turning back and I just keep falling more in love with him. Kenan is my other doll who I had instant love for. He came together so quickly once he got home and already had a personality it was easy to fall in love. Dinah was the one doll I bonded with before I bought her. I was at a convention and they were selling her so I was able to carry her around and I new I couldn't leave without her.

Lysan was the one doll it took awhile to bond with. I did about 5 faceups before I was able to fully see his character and bond with him. But now I would be hard pressed to get rid of him.

On the reverse though I have had quite a few dolls I couldn't bond with at all no matter what I did and so they have moved on to better homes. I sold my AOD Zi Yuan to a friend of mine and it was instant love for her and its great to see how a doll I couldn't bond with is really loved.

 

Since I know the personality of each of my dolls before I even buy them, when I get them, I just take one look at them, then all their likes/dislikes/hobbies/styles/everything go rushing through my head and it feels like I've known them FOREVER! I love all my dolls so much!

 

I bonded with Oliver and Fiona kinda like I would have with any.... well.... toy that I wanted and cared deeply about. I drug them around, refer to them like people, insist others treat them with respect (don't insult them, don't throw them around... stuff like that)

Then Anarchy got here. She brought so much life that it just filled up my house. She really brought Oliver and Fiona to life. I love her so much, and she's made me love Oliver and Fiona even more. I'm really glad I found her. Before Anarchy I was sorta on the fence about them having a "soul" of sorts or whatever. But An's making a believer out of me

 

I'm definitely the type to treat inanimate objects with some affection, although I'm always aware that it's just a human conceit on my part ^o^. I expected to feel some affection for my dolls, and while I could understand the idea of "bonding" I didn't figure it'd be a big deal with me.

Then, of course, I got one. (And then, of course, five more - ack!) I bonded with Hanwing, my first guy, pretty quickly, although I've noticed the same pattern I had with puppies and kittens in the past - I love 'em before they're there, feel kind of distant from them for the first day or two, then completely fall in love with them once I've gotten to know them for real. Weirdly, this pattern has followed me into the ABJD hobby ^^;.

That said, four of six of my boys are modelled after characters, and the latest waited two weeks before suddenly creating a new character for me in an existing storyline . . . it's only Eis who is in identity crisis. He was fine as this non-character doll until I looked at him and thought, "He could be Fabian" (a character from yet another storyline of mine). At that moment he stopped quite being Eis, and wasn't Fabian either . . . and for about a week that weird limbo bothered me so much I thought about selling him. However, now he has settled into a state of waiting to be re-shelled as Fabian, and I'm quite happy to have him stay!

That said, if it really came down to it, in an emergency I think I could regretfully sell all but my first two. I'm just too attached to Han and Kinney to let them go.

In short, bonding is weird.

 

I think sometimes you just have to relax and let "doll nature" take its course.

My two grail dolls have been hanging out in their boxes for almost a year. I have thought about them lots and I knew I didn't want to sell either of them but when I took them out of their boxes they felt...empty. As opposed to some of my other dolls, who I brought often for quite whimsical reason and then adored right out of the box. I had been feeling really guilty, partially about the expense, but also because I was also feeling that I was doing them an injustice by not playing with them and enjoying them, and doing other doll lovers an injustice because I see WTBs for both boys in the MP all the time. Maybe someone else would be getting a lot more joy from these boys then I am.

I think the process of getting them (well mainly my Saint) was so stressful, and expensive , that when they finally arrived I couldn't enjoy them directly after I received them. Anyway to cut a long story short, I had never let them interact with each other and I had always tried to impose long running characters on them which never fit. Yesterday I took both of them out and stood them next to each other, blank, no wigs, no eyes, and suddenly they started to make sense. It was almost as though they needed each other to work right from the start. Its been a revelation. They have their own personalities which have nothing to do with my other doll universes.

If its taught me anything its that if you can afford to, maybe just put dolls you don't understand or can't feel anything from away and let them gradually seep into your live. It might make you feel a bit guilty but when they come around its amazing. I actually can't wait to get started on finishing my boys now.

 

I never thought I'd want a girl BJD [and certainly not as my first!], but the moment I saw her I knew I'd just love her. She definitely gets a lot of attention here!

Oddly, I instantly bonded with another of diddoh's dolls, whose head I now have. I always wanted to hold him whenever we did anything dolly-related together. Thankfully I haven't fallen in love with any of her other dolls since I don't think she's letting any of her others go.

 

I have an incredibly strong bond with my SooRi, he's like an old friend who gives me great comfort in the sad times. I will never sell him

The rest of my dolls though...My Chiwoo I'm not bonded to exactly, or my CCC Faith. I like them well enough but I wouldn't say we were bonded. Same with Lu-Wen, who I have fallen out of love with somewhat but I still have sad feelings when I think of selling him

My Heliot I haven't spent enough time with to know but I didn't get anything from him straight out fo the box, mostly because I was so ticked off about the shoddy job Soom did drilling his hoof holes . I think this combined with the long wait and that he has a blank face has really set back any bonding that may have happened. For now I'm waiting until I get him painted, then decision time...

 

I bonded with almost all my dolls rather well.

But the one and only doll that I'd hug really tight or to cry on or to rant and complain to, is Apollo. My AOD Gu. Helios(also AOD Gu but is a floating head) is good to rant and complain to. But for crying and stuffs, Apollo's the one. Especially when watching horror movies. He's really great to hug and cling to.

Edward's a Dollzone tan Mo-3. Hence a 1/4. He's a bit too small for me to hug properly and stuffs. But he's really good as he has the attention span of a puppy. Plus he has the sweetest smile in the whole group.

Lucifer(CP Juri 07 floating head), is the best doll/head to cheer me up when I'm feeling a little on the emo side. His sweet and constant smiles never fail to brighten my days.

Hypnos and Thanatos(floating head until I decide to swap him with Hypnos) are what I've acquired rather recently. Hypnos is cute and stuffs. I've definitely bonded with him but he's the only one that I love to bits too yet he doesn't cheer me up or anything. He's currently like a vase of sorts. Hypnos is OE Heliot by the way.

Thanatos, R.Heliot head, is so proud that I find him impossible to bond with. I'm still trying to bond with him. But maybe I should change his face-up. But he's the first time I'm having problems bonding with. I can bond with almost all dolls. Including my friends'. I'm their dolls' godma/aunt.

 

first i got my Delf kid mill while i liked him from first sight, but i only really started to love him recently after i gave him a face up that i'm actually happy with.
now he's so cute i just want to eat him xD! every time i look at him now i want to pick him up pat him on the head and give him a kiss, while before i was actually starting to wonder if it was a mistake getting him !

as for my Chami/delf girl hybrid i was a little unsure of her at first, but then she took a nose dive down a set of concrete stairs! it scratched the surface of her resin on her nose/forehead/over the eye (nothing fatal or big for that matter...) later i sanded her nose a tad and suddenly i love her so much more o_O;;; but she still needs a new/better face up

i guess i felt that she was to default so i couldn't connect with her now that she isn't 'mint' i like her better

well now i love both of my kids

a new challenge bonding with the next new doll ! but it's a nice challenge xD

 

Yumiko-tan was my boyfriend's Dollfie Dream. He sort of bought her on a whim, buttressed by metric tons of peer pressure from a group of friends whom he had followed to Volks Tenshi no Sumika on a run through Japanese culture hot spots in the South Bay area of Greater Los Angeles. He bought Yumiko...a Dollfie Dream Yukino-type full set which is rather pricy to begin with...plus a few items of clothing because he felt weird walking around with a doll clad only in lingerie.

He got a few more items for her, and occasionally would get presents from these doll loving friends for her. But really his heart wasn't with her. She wasn't his "Dollfie Dream daughter." Every time I'd come up to see him, I'd see Yumi-tan sitting on a shelf, haphazardly thrown on a couch or a recliner, and then finally cattywumpus in a box that was partially unpacked after moving. Poor thing! ;_;

I had to take her out of the box and set her down somewhere, brush out the ill-fitting wig that he had gotten from somewhere and adjust it until it looked right. He began to get the message. "You know, I won't be going to Anime Expo, you want to take her down with you?" Yes!

I brought her home and began to clean her up. There were random stains here and there, mostly schmutz easily taken off with judicious application of Simple Green, but the occasional stain that required sterner stuff, like a few on her head which needed sanding and Magic Eraser. She still has some little pink-y stains from a red hakama that apparently did lots and lots of staining damage that was largely dealt with, but that just looks like random body blushing now and I'm pretty sure can be dealt with by Benzoyl Peroxide therapy.

Yumi-tan really is my little musume now. She is absolutely the belle of the ball everywhere she goes, even at AX where you'd think people would be jaded, and I've had to learn the Spanish phrase "muneca Japonesa" to explain her to some of my neighbors. I have a bevy of wonderful 1/6 scale minions you have to go to places like 13 Doll to hear about, but having a big doll really is way different. They really do take your breath away at times. Now I'm pretty sure I'm going to haul her with me to Disneyland on my birthday, for example, and she's going with me to Mikomicon and Anime Los Angeles. And I'm going to start sewing again to get her wardrobe situated...it's a pain to sew for 1/6 scale from what I understand but 1/3 scale is easier and more rewarding.

Heck yeah I've bonded with her. Can't you tell?

 

I think i love my Diogenes and Andrei since i saw them in the shop. With Diogenes it passed a year until i could buy him >.< I didn't look at him in the shop for a long time, but i still thought about him. And then, one day, i thought about his name. Diogenes. And it was then when i decided to buy him >.< When i received him i felt like if he had been made for me >.< When i take him in my arms he fits perfectly my forearm, and i can't resist hugging him a little x//D

With Andrei was love at first sight >.< I wanted "an Andrei" and i looked at lots of shops. I'd never found one that had a face of "Andrei". Until i saw a Kid Delf Bory in another forum. I said "he MUST be Andrei" and i decided to buy him >.< Then, fortunately, there was one in the marketplace of another BJD forum, and i buy him there :3

I can't stop staring at both, is just like i feel i have the need of looking at them and take some photos. I love their eyes, touching their hair, making them pose... It's just love xDD

It's something i don't feel at all with Yuuki and Hephaestos. With Hephaestos its because i don't have HIM yet, i've got the body, i've got the head, but is like if there isn't a "soul" inside him yet (i don't mean a real soul xD please, don't misunderstand me >.< i mean that is like if he is not the boy i want him to be)... I don't have his face up, don't have his final eyes, nor his wig... I love him, of course, but it's not as much as with Andrei and Dio...

With Yuuki is... well... is just that i haven't find the real Yuuki or maybe he isn't what i expected... Now i keep him in his tiny carrier, until i find what to do with him... It's sad for me, but i'm sure i'll love him as much as i love the others when i'm sure of who he is :3

 

I loved DOD Homme Kirill since I first saw him and adored Peitari the moment I held him. I didn't seem to have the same experience with Osiris (Dlef Lu-Wen). Maybe it was beause he was an SD and I was so used to handling an MSD, or because he didn't "feel" the way I thought he would, I dunno. But after I finally fit him into his character, I LOVE him!
With Sakura, it was love at first sight. Pukis are so much more adorable in person. She was my first girl and I already had tons of Kelly clothes for her so we played dress up and took pics the whole first day I had her (I received her on my birthday which just made her even sweeter).

 

I was going to an anime minicon with friends and one of them already had her Apollo model from BBB for a couple of months and she let me hold him during the cardrive to Enschede. I like muscular guys and he is quite handsome with a sweet face. From that moment I knew if I ever bought a BJD, it would be this model. And so I did and Shinta is with me for over a month now and I hug him very often

 

I was in love with BJDs as soon as I saw them. I was in love with B&G when i first saw them. But when i first saw Ymir...honestly? I was pretty dissapointed. D: Ymir was bought on a whim, I didn't have a charcter for him. Honestly i just wanted one because they looked so pretty <A<;; He didn't look at -all- like how the default picture, the one i was in love with, looked. I honestly didn't think he looked very nice. I was sad, honestly, and my mom almost convinced me to sell him the next day, but I'm a very stubborn person and I said no even though at the time I didn't think I would ever take Ymir out. Sad and dissapointed, I packed Ymir back into his box. But then, by a crazy random happenstance, there was a storm the night I got him and, you see, I am deathly afraid of thunder <A<; So scared of my wits, I unpacked Ymir out of his box and slept like a baby holding him close to me.~ That was the start of our bonding, i guess you could say.~ Then, a month or so after that, i was home alone and very lonely, and I remembered reading about people who watched tv with their dolls, and thought "Well, why not?" SO I ran to get Ymir out from his bed where he'd been collecting dust, so to speak, and plopped him next to me on the sofa. Then, i also used to sit him on my desk when i'd use the computer. Sloooowly, I started getting attached to him, and even now, more than a year later, everyday I get a little bit more closer to him ^w^ He's just my little boy, now!~

 

(you can delete this post if needed but I am still confused even after reading threads disscussing this topic)

Bonding with your doll. I just ordered my first BJD from Luts, so I am new to this whole thing pretty much. And I read all these things on the marketplaces that say "Selling doll because I couldn't bond with it." What does bonding consist of... does that just mean you didn't like the doll once it came in. I am very confused as to if this is a just a matter of liking or not liking the doll, or if its much more.

Sorry if this question has been asked so much. But I assume that once my doll comes in the mail I will use him alot for photography and sewing and I am already in love with him. Is THAT bonding? I really can't grasp what that word is meant to be.

I have a stuffed animal that I've had since I was two that I would never get rid of, because I have gone thru so much with him over the years. I see that as me bonding with that particular toy. Is it the same with dolls? Cause I see that taking time, not just something you know right away like a lot of people on here claim. "I got him a month ago and just didn't bond with him, so I'm getting rid of him." To me bonding seems like it takes more time, so I guess thats why I'm so confused as to if its the same type of bonding I tend to understand.

 

It's a question I've wondered about as well. I can't figure how on earth someone could wind up buying a doll they didn't 'bond' with - I love every doll I own and can't imagine ever selling them (haven't done a 'head count' lately but I think I have something like 15 now)! Yet 'failure ot bond' seems to be so common, I am beginning to fret that I am somehow 'doing it wrong' and my relationship with my dolls is shallow and inadequate.

In the unlikely event I didn't adore a doll right out of the box, there are so many things you can do to make each doll more personal and spark the magic. I know often I feel I have 'made a connection' after doing a custom face-up, or finding that perfect outfit, wig or set of eyes (super-satisfying when it was somehting I already had) that really brings the doll's character 'to life' - it's such a thrilling moment of discovery, too, if the doll suddenly seems to 'become' something you hadn't considered until the vital elements were brought together.

 

I think a lot of times you'll find 'I didn't bond' in the marketplace because people feel like they need to put some sort of justification for selling their BJD here on DOA. Saying they just didn't like the doll when it arrived somehow seems...mean? Disrespectful..? I'm not quite sure.

I know that personally, I've definately bonded with a few of my resin crew because I've had them for a long time, because of the circumstances surrounding their arrival etc. I tihnk that must be more of the bonding you have with your stuffed animal, pinkninjastar. I also think there are some of my dolls that I don't necessarily have a bond with, (at least not in the same way), but that I still love dearly for other, more aesthetic reasons. I can't quite imagine parting with any of the dolls I feel that way about.

 

I just figure "didn't bond" is a "polite" way of saying "I bought this but after I got it, I decided I don't really like it and want something else now."

It seems like saying you don't like a doll, whether it's yours or someone else's, is a big faux pas in this hobby. And if it's your own doll it's a faux pas to say, "Right then, I'm sick of this doll, it needs to go, so who will give me X amount of money for it?"

 

I think it is more that 'not bonding' is equal to the owner not being able to see or interact with the doll as they thought they would when they bought it. I for one have had two doll heads that have come and gone from me and I just plain didn't like the first one. The second was a doll I liked and I thought I wanted but when I got him I simply couldn't get the 'feel' for him.

And I think it is that 'feel' for dolls who are aesthetically meant to fit an ideal and then don't when they are received that constitutes as 'not bonding' (for me this was not fitting a character or the personality I had for him and not being able to really find another that I could apply to him, meaning I had nothing that I wanted to do with him at all). At least that is what it is in my mind. It is that you just can't get attached to that doll in a truly sentimental way and you don't really see it changing?

I'm not saying it is like that for everyone, but that is what it was like for me. Every other doll I have bought I adore and would never let go.

 

For me... I am a bit of a writer at heart, so I like to imbue my dolls with a character and write stories about those characters through photography (and just plain writing). I do tend to grow a bit attached to these characters, as any artist is a bit attached to the things they create... that's what I consider a "bond". My dolls are more toys and creative expressions of storytelling than they are display pieces, so just being pretty isn't enough for me.

"Not bonding" has happened to me a couple of times. When I say I didn't bond, it means I just couldn't find a character that seemed to fit that sculpt. There are times when a sculpt is truly beautiful, but I just couldn't make it my own character, or bring a personality out of it in faceups. With most of my dolls, when I get the right wig, clothes, and faceup things just seem to click into place and I can say, "Yes, this is perfect for this character".

It's kind of hard to describe... but sometimes that "click" just doesn't happen, and I never form any sort of attachment to the doll. And if I'm not personally invested in it, there's no reason to hold onto it. That being said, I try to give it at least half a year before I sell a doll for that reason... sometimes it does just take a bit longer for everything to fall into place.