Bonding and YOU.

I really liked my first doll, Sid, and enjoyed having her with me but I never really got the urge to pack her about or make more clothing than I really needed to for her or, after a while, take pictures of her. And I assumed, because I thought she was pretty, that this was normal.

And then I brought Nao home. As soon as I picked her up, her weight was perfect. I loved her up close and personal more than the picture. And her little bizarre strings pulled her body up, as if she were curling up, whenever she was bumped or picked up and I was smitten. I pack her everywhere and she sleeps near the bed if not in it. And I really enjoy doing all the sewing and fussing over for Nao that I didn't care for with Sid. I love her.

It made me feel pretty bad about Sid though because I realized, once I'd experienced the sheer joy of Nao, I'd never 'bonded' with her. Luckily, though, my sister fell in love with her just over this christmas so Sid got a new home with someone who will love her and adore her much more than I and a new name that seems to fit her better.

I think bonding has a lot to do with what inspires a person or triggers something pleasant in their mind-conscious or not-like the smell of turkey sometimes brings back memories of pleasant holidays past. I know that part of what drew me so much to little Naoru was her odd stringing that made her fold in on herself when I first got her-it was so endearing to me that I couldn't help but adore her.

 

What I do for bonding with my dolls is doing their face-up, sewing their clothes and then doing their first photoshoot.
But often I have already a strong bonded feeling after finishing the face-up. The kinda feeling like:

 

I restrıng them, sued and try dıfferent eyes, wıgs and clothes.

Also I wrıte about them. The bondıng to a character starts sooner sınce I wrıte alot about my characters. So when they are here I see ıf the character fıts the doll, often I change alot of the character.

Kamı (soom lazule) for ınstance was allot more arrogant and degradıng before I got the doll, but that dıdnt really fıt the mold so ıt was changed.

Also, starıng helps. Just lyıng on my bed, dolls on my knees and I just stare and admıre them. Tryıng to see lıttle detaıls or thıngs you wouldn´t notıce on fırst sıght.

 

I only have one BJD as of now, and am trying ever so hard not to think about more, but I did have other dolls. when I get a doll home I carry her/him with me for days around the house. I stare at them to..hehe. I take photos allot because you can sometimes catch personality on film more than real life (at first anyway). I pose the doll allot, moving her arms and finding the range of motion. I search for a Name forever untill I find one that clicks. Names mean a lot to me for bonding, and Names allways need to mean somthing for me so that i have a starting spot for personality. No name, no person for me. When I was little I had three american girl dolls, two of witch were the historic kind. I found that the historical dolls with a back story were easyer to bond with, and in the absence of bonding well with the 3rd 'girl of today' I made a whole historic backstory for her as well...all in my head of corse..lol..and after I bond with a doll I can never un-bond, haha.

gah, I can be so long-winded! especialy at 3 in the mourning....anyway I bond easily and tightly.
Ommella is one of my best friends!

 

I role-play.

My best friend (Sparrow) and I, have a very interconnected herd so we role-play together and that greatly speeds along the bonding process.

I also do the staring thing. I re-bonded to my DZ Mo, Valeri, the other night by simply sitting and staring at him until he hypnotized me to sleep, the sneaky little thing.

 

Oh good, it's not just me that does that then!
I do have this thing for staring at my dolls. Their beauty just captivates me.
It's definitely a good way to bond with them, as is modding and doing their faceups.

 

With everyone but one of the tinies, who jumped out of the box ready to go, it started with doing their face-ups and putting their first outfit together. We then spend some time together discovering each other. As all are OCs or based on characters or people very near and dear to me it usually goes well.

I remember Lucifer was a bit quiet until we went out shopping together and he wanted jelly rings for bracelets. After that we both laughed a bit because the ice had been broken. With Anderson I knew he reminded me of someone and it just took a couple of days to figure it out.

The only one I've never been able to figure out fully is Taffy but that was because he's the only one I didn't pick out, he was a prize head, I've redone his eyes and usual wig but we're still awkward with each other. I think it's because he's so big, 70cm, and I wouldn't have bought that size otherwise.

I'm not one to sell off a doll I don't bond with either. Most everyone who comes in is here to stay unless I'm just stealing their clothes and stuff then I never give them a doll spirit in the first place.

 

I pull out the crochet hook and the thread, and make 'em clothes with no pattern, which involves a lot of putting it on and ripping it off and words my mother taught me. If I don't love it by the time I'm done (and that hasn't happened), out they go.

 

I'm another one who just likes to stare! I just get carried away with how beautiful they are and I stare and stare.

 

Usually once I've got them dressed appropriately and their eyes and hair right, and their faceup all finished, I know who they are. After that, it's usually photographing them, seeing how they interact with the other dolls, spending time with them, getting their posing perfected (sueding, wiring if needed, etc.) and just letting their characters develop. While I love all mine and am bonded to them all, there are three who are bonded the strongest. One of those is a doll I thought I might not even like, I got him because the body didn't come without a head, and I thought his face was nice. Most of mine are like friends that are fun to see from time to time, but those three are much closer!

 

I grow more attached to dolls by touching them, playing with them, and doing things with them. I don't necessarily mean taking a doll everywhere I go, but small things. I like to sit my doll on my lap when I'm on the computer. I like to seat her nearby when I'm working on schoolwork. I recently had a rare chance in which she had to come to work with me to go somewhere else afterward, and since nearly everyone is using up their vacation and the office is almost empty I stood her on my desk while I worked. I recently found a small tea cup for her to "join" me for tea at home, and she "watches" movies with us often. This is what has contributed to my attachment. I feel like I am "using" my doll for her intended purpose; that's what starts to make her feel like mine instead of like anyone's doll. n_n

 

I do or enhance faceups, change eyes, play with their hair and make clothes for my dolls. That either bonds me to them or prepares them for the forever home that awaits them elsewhere. Also putting them together and seeing how they look with each other makes a difference.

 

The more time I spend with a doll, the more attachment I have for it. However, I have to like the doll in the first place of course.

I would say that the doll I've bonded with the most is the one that I think is the cutest. She's also the smallest, so I tend to grab more often than the others when I go out (usually just to my boyfriend's place).

Doing face-ups and any sort of work helps me bond with a doll much better as well.

 

I don't really bond with my dolls emotionally... when I keep one it's because it would be very difficult or impossible to replace.

Raven

 

I sold off one head...it was a character i didn't fully develop and it felt ackward bettween us. But now that I'm getting a new head (which I should've ordered in the first place) everything is falling into place....I've got a wig and clothes on hold for him and I need to find the right set of eyes. Basically I'm just buying whatever I see for him and then I'm gonna try it all on followed by staring, posing and taking pictures! ^_^

 

restring the doll and figure out the mechanisms to their posing by keeping them in the weirdest poses possible *Thriller in particular XD*, move the eyes around and take several pictures of the same pose in diff. light. : and of course, epic staring. :3 I keep her close~

 

I take nude photographs of him.

(Great way to get to know a guy. )

 

With my very first doll, I ordered her within the month that I had learned about BJDs, so I was VERY MUCH a noob. I hadn't even heard of DOA yet I was very thrown off when I first got her, because I hadn't really seen many of these dolls yet, especially without the help of all these galleries I've found now! I wasn't even sure if I liked her. However she quickly became one of my favorite possessions, and still is (3 dolls later). What helped me bond to her was the gradual "personalization" process and making her to be what I envisioned. The more I tried to develop her appearance and personality the better she would look and the more I became attached. Being SO new to these dolls, I didn't really have much of a concept for her when I first ordered her, and I think working with her to create who she is (as strange as that sounds) is what really made me bond with her.

For my second doll, I think I bonded with him before he even arrived. Before ordering my second doll I made sure to do a substantial amount of research on the type of doll and what to expect from him, to make sure he would be perfect for me. I was so happy when I finally got him home, because I knew he was exactly what I wanted, that I was automatically in love with him.

My third doll was a bit different from the other two however. I received him as a random unexpected present. And as I am sure many people are aware of here, that ordering a doll is quite the process. It goes waaay beyond just "ordering a doll." The anticipated wait time allows you to prepare for them mentally, as well as buy them clothes, look at photos, talk to other owners of the same brand, etc. But with this doll, I was never given the chance to do any of that, let alone even consider owning him, so the bonding process was VERY slow. Of course I was shocked and ecstatic when I checked my mailbox and I had this jumbo box, and I was so happy to get him, but it seemed to wear off fairly quickly once I had this giant bald doll hanging around in his tighty whities. I had trouble finding the right clothes for him because I didn't have time before to envision what type of a personality and look he would have. It took about a year to finally get him right, and for some time I even thought about selling him. However, the more I got his look right, and the more time I left him out in the open, the more I accepted and loved him. I didn't really have a space made for him when he arrived, so I had to keep him on my bed, and once I decided to do that I bonded with him much better because it allowed me to hold him and play with him more.

Overall though, I think the biggest things that helped me bond with my dolls were the process it took to develop who they were. In a way, they kind of have to tell/show you who they are. You may have one idea for them, but it just might not work (they may have other ideas ). The more time you put into them and play with them the more you come to love them.

 

Aine was my first BJD. She came with so much personality it was hard NOT to bond with her.

@JennyNemesis, That is EPIC. XD You rock!

 

I think it depends on both the doll and the person. It took me a day to bond with Malice but he had so much personality to begin with!!!!