Bonding: When to give up, and when to wait.

Try *EVERYTHING*, if you can!

With regards to appearence: different face-up, different eye-colour or wig style (if you can get to a friendly meet or have doll-friends, ask to plunder their collection and try them out briefly, so you don't spend a fortune buying tons of different potentials!)... even different eye-materials or sizes... it *really* made a difference to my girl to switch her out of acrylic eyes, for instance. She totally came alive!

Play with your doll. Take him places, try out going to meets if that's your thing, photograph him... just spend time with him, carry him about a bit, have him sit with you. Basically make friends with him, hehe! Take him to bits and give him a clean, re-string and do engineering work if he needs it to pose better... get to know him inside and out!

Perhaps show him or photos of him to friends, and get their opinion... it could be that they might be able to see something that could really make a difference... someone might suggest a wig-style or other feature that you could have overlooked and it might just click!

I hope it works out for you~!

 

I very much agree with PeppermintPocky .
I had two dolls I sold recently. I bought them on impulse and we didn´t really click. From now on I swear I will only buy those who I am sure I will love.
Also as others have sadi faceup makes a big difference trust me. I would have never bought the Ducan I had if it wasn´t for the gorgeous faceup. Also I don´t really like my CHroms default feceup which is the only thing that bothers me about him.
But if you feel like the doll and you do not go together don´t force it. I was really torn for a few months and I feel like I am free now again when I got what I wanted and sold the dolls that were not really my taste.

 

My advice is a bit of the flip of a lot of people - I find that efforts to make myself like a doll more or to make a doll fit a character more all end up being a waste of time and money. If I don't like the doll right off the bat for whatever purpose it is for, I am never going to like it, no matter what I do.

I don't believe in the whole bonding process - there is no two way relationship here - but I do know when I feel that spark of "this is the right doll", and if it does not happen right away, it's never going to happen for me. If you keep looking at your doll and thinking of what you could have if you did not have that doll, that is a good sign that maybe you should sell it on. I know once I start thinking of a doll in terms of what I could get for it, it's time to sell that doll.

 

For me, the time to give up is when I look at the doll, regret buying them, wouldn't mind selling them and have something else in mind I know I'd like more. If I know there's something I'd like more for that money, there's not reason to keep trying and wait.

 

I've bonded most with my doll Light, and he's my 3rd doll. My first two dolls doesn't mean as much to me at all, and my newest...well, I've not bonded with him at all yet. Though Ageha's character settles, I've not settled much about him. I think I need time. I remember I was a little dissapointed with buying Ageha, but I had been wishing for him for more than a year, so I just thought it was time to buy him. My MSD is currently waiting for his friend to get home, and perhaps it'll make me bond more with him. I just think the dolls needs time. They have to get a chance!

 

It took me both second and third doll before I bonded with the first I got. It being your first doll I would give it halv a year, perhaps buy another doll, see if it works for him to have company. For me it helped to create a character out of my first and write him into my stories. Perhaps draw him if you are into that? Try to make him a part of other creative processes.

 

I bonded with my first right away...but Tobi is proving to be far more difficult :/

I'm going to wait until he's finished before I make up my mind whether to keep or sell him though, I don't think you can really bond with a doll who doesn't feel finished! Having a faceup that you're happy with, I think, is very important...as is actually having a head XD

 

I feel this way still about my first doll, a DiM flowne that is STILL freakin' nameless, but once my 2nd doll arrived and I instantly and randomly came up with a name for him (after my late Great Dane) I feel he is totally mine. I would suggest always to keep a doll until you finally get that AH HA PERFECT name you know what I mean? Assuming you don't have a name for the one you are speaking about yet. With Flowne I still haven't come across the perfect one but I'm still hoping I will. If it never seems like it's going to happen and you feel hopeless about it I would say sell and surf ALL dollie sites for someone you instantly fall in love with and someone whose page you visit 100 times in the decision making process.

 

I have had this problem two of the three times I've bought dolls. The first doll, I immediately loved, I wanted him so bad that the wait for two days was intense. He came and he was so beautiful. Faceless, and ready to be individually mine. He was amazing to me. I bonded with him, a lot, but I bonded the most with him when a lot of bad things were happening in my life. It made him all the more special, because even though everything around me was changing, he wasn't. He was a bit of a security blanket for me at the time I guess. ^____^;;

The second, I had wanted for over about a year and a half before I got him. He was my baby. I never thought I'd love a doll as much as I would him. He came, naked and with a face up. The face up looked so different than every other person's I'd ever seen that it really broke my heart. He looked so sweet for being my mean boy. For a while, I didn't like him at all. I was mortified. My favorite character just didn't seem to stick with this doll. Eventually though, he did start to grow on me. Now he's my doll. The one I always wanted and had such a hard time trying to afford. I love him dearly.

My latest one, was nothing but a roller coaster worth of torture. I had ordered him on a whim, because he was a pre-order sale, so I couldn't pass him up. The doll looked perfect for my character. He was suppose to be a little over six weeks to deliver, but ended up taking 4 months due to the company's poor management. My best friend at the time, and fellow doll lover, seemed either jealous or mad that I had gotten him. Since she would be the one to buy his lover sometime down the line, I had hoped she's be able to share in the excitement like I had in waiting for hers prior. Disheartened by the entire situation, I started to resent the doll more than the situation at hand. A lot of terrible memories and handful of shattered dreams came with him when he arrived. I didn't even want to look at him the first day. He had just been nothing but a magnitude of mixed emotions, and I didn't know what to do. It was two months later that I stopped talking with my friend, and slowly I gathered my boys up and their RP characters to rebuild something I felt was lost in that time. I started slowly liking my new doll. Slowly, I am trying to build him into the character he once was, but now winging it solo for the first time.

I think it just takes time. But I'm a family oriented person. -No one is left out, and no one gets thrown out for being different. I'm the same what with my animals, I couldn't imagine getting rid of one of my dolls.

 

I have the same problem right now: my Lu (Soom MD Topaz) came last May, and I'm still stuggling to "feel" her. I felt my Lily (Fairyland Shushu) as soon I got her the first make up, but Lu... even thought I really wanted her, it took a lot of efforts to find her and then to buy her, now I'm really desperate. I plan to have her make up redone, and if it doesn't help - well then, I would sell her, I guess.

 

I'm going through the same thing right now. Granted, I haven't had her for very long (plus she was an impulse buy) but she just doesn't feel...right. I have no desire to take her out and play with her and cuddle with her, despite the fact that shes cute as a button. I've tried different eyes, different wigs, different clothes, I've taken her out and carried her around and she still feels like she doesn't belong. I want to sell her so I can bring home the doll that originally got me hooked, but I worked so hard for her...I feel like a horrible person for wanting to sell her even though shes mine and shes a doll ><

 

I just got my first doll, a Bobobie Espree, a few weeks ago and shortly after got an RS Mei, and I am really loving Mei but not totally digging Espree. She was kind of an impulse buy, and I find Mei is so much easier to pose and not quite so floppy. Mind you I also haven't tried to restring Espree yet, just pulled up on her existing elastic job.

 

I recently purchased a woosoo male vampire head from a split, I also bought a used DOD doc male body. It was more of a helpful split with a friend, I had no desire on buying a new doll at the time and she was looking into getting a upgrade for her boy and I was tempted by the idea. I looked at heads from fairyland and the woosoo kind of grew on me and I decided I would give it a try. I was blocked however, on what eyes to choose and what hair style/color to look for. I suspected it was just because my passion for this doll was below mild and the excitement wasn't as pronounced like it was for my other dolls. Later, I decided to just sit and think of a story for him and I did come up with one, but still it was difficult to come up with a look for him.. I worry that I wont be able to bond with this doll, and I will end up selling him, which I honestly don't want to do since well the idea of selling a full doll bothers me... (bah separation issues...)

My questions are:
Have you ever gone through this? Explain your situation.

Did you try to come up with a way to keep your doll, maybe storing the doll for a while and thought up another character for them or perhaps just keeping it and not even 'play' with it?

If you did sell your doll, how long did it take until you came to the decision to do so?

Thanks everyone for your participation.

 

I went thru something like this...

when Volks first released Kurumi, she was dressed in h.naoto clothing... and I adored her... adorable mold wearing one of my favorite brands... and it took 3 years of constant saving and trying to get her before I finally won her in a dollpa lottery.. I was ecstatic I won her... but when she arrived, she came to me with a huge crack completely thru her chest... even though volks replaced the chest piece I never felt like I could touch her without her cracking again and ended up selling her.

 

I bought an IoS head on the MP earlier this year - it was an impulse buy and I just wanted a doll at the time, having once again being shut down on getting the doll I really wanted. It took me nearly six months to really bond with him. None of the characters I came up with, or wig/eye combinations, really seemed to fit him. It got to be really frustrating, and more than once I thought of selling him.

I eventually found a character and eye/wig combination I liked, but it took me a lot longer than my other dolls since he was an impulse buy, and I wasn't really that terribly excited about him coming home.

Give it time, and I'm sure you'll bond.

 

Swifteh I am sorry to hear about your doll situation. :<

Bewaretheshort1 That's great you kept him. And thank you, I hope we do,

 

for my first doll's arrival, i loved her so much and her face just told me what kind of personality she had, and i didn't feel any uneasiness towards her ~ she was adorable and i could take photos of her all day ~

and then my second and third doll came at the same time, i was fine with one, but sort of neglected the other because well, it was difficult to tend to both ~

but after about several weeks, i took a good look at my 3rd doll and put some unique clothes on her, and then it just clicked, i found a personality for her ~ so now i love her the same way as the other two !

when my fourth doll arrived, the same happend (it was similar to my 3rd doll); she wasn't as good as i thought she would be . . and now it's been 3 months, i still dont' feel anything, but i really don't like selling my stuff, so i'm still going to wait, and try to put different clothes / wigs etc until she becomes someone special ~

 

In my case, I've bought a lot of dolls who seemed like they'd be great, and they were generally lovely, but didn't click right away like I wanted them to. So I'd play around a bit and try new things: face-ups, wigs, eyes, etc. Sometimes they'd be better for awhile, but in the end, they've all moved on. The ones I've felt die-hard love for instantly are the ones who have stayed, and generally, they're the dolls who can hold one look all along. I know these dolls are meant to be able to be changed, but I find I have better luck with the ones who really take to one special look and keep it.

 

As of this past week, I finally sold a doll for the first time. The doll arrived during a really bad week for me, and as weeks followed, stuff only went down from there. I thought that I might be able to bond with this doll if I waited, but quite honestly, every time I looked at this doll it made me think negatively because of the events surrounding the arrival. The doll was absolutely gorgeous, and luckily the doll itself isn't limited, so if I ever wanted to give this sculpt a go in the future again, it would be very do-able.

Usually I have no problem bonding with dolls (or other various objects) so had this doll arrived in better circumstances, I would have kept her. I got into this hobby to have something to enjoy if I am having a bad time, so as soon as I realize that part of it was doing the opposite of what I wanted, that's when I realize it's time to let go.