But ... she just GOT there! >__<

The moment you sell the doll you accept that the doll is no longer yours. Th new owner can do whatever they please.

As harsh as it sounds thats the way it is.

 

What is so horrible about it? If the person didn't like the doll in person like she liked it in the photos then so be it. It's the risk we all take when buying dolls, we never know if we will like them in person.

The buyer has not done anything 'horrid' to the seller and they have not done anything 'horrid' to the doll.

If the doll had a choice, I'm sure it would much rather be sold on to somewhere it could be loved, instead of saying in a place he or she will be unloved, locked up and never cared for.

 

I've said it before, but allow me to elaborate on it.

If what is bothering the seller is that the doll isn't being loved, its resale is the best possible thing that could happen to it. Instead of languishing in a box or closet, it's going to immediately go to a new home where it has another chance at being cherished. The original seller even has the option to buy it back herself, if she wishes!

To my eyes, this isn't a tragedy, but an ideal outcome. I know no one can control their feelings -- they can be evil little things that refuse to cooperate with logic -- but sometimes taking a step back and looking at the larger ramifications of a situation can give some perspective.

 

I have to agree with many other people in this thread that it's very important to emotionally detach yourself from the doll once you sell it. No matter how much we give them anthropomorphic qualities, our dolls are still inanimate playthings. I can understand feeling a little disappointed that the next buyer decided to sell the doll so soon, but it's not your property any longer.

I've had a doll I sold go through four sets of hands in six months. Instead of feeling upset, I watched her progress across the country (she went from Vegas to Florida to Hawaii to New England!). I liked that a doll that once belonged to me became so well-traveled .

 

i've been on both ends so i understand both sides. i've gotten a few bjd and as i waited for them i could have goen mad not having them home, but as soon as i open them they just didn't fit. so i'd offer them to someone else hoping they'd find a home that'd love them properly. i've found out sometimes it takes a few homes for them to find their way^^ i was a little upset once when i found a bjd i sold was sold less then a week after they got him, but once i thought about i relized what i said before and it helped me accept it. sure it's a bummer you didn't find your bjd the perfect home, but hopefully they'll find the perfect place soon^^

 

Some people know, pretty much from the moment they open the box, whether a doll is for them or not. Some people take a few days, or weeks, to figure it out, some people will try different wigs/outfits to see if that's the reason they don't bond with a doll.

Personally, I take forever to do anything about it even if I don't bond with a doll. Only a couple have I done the instant-bonding thing and only one the instant dislike (and she's still here, two years later and awaiting a major makoer in the hopes it will improve the bonding).

I suppose those are jsut the chances you take when you pass on ownership

After all, the buyer was under no obligation to even tell you she was selling on the doll. If she hadn't, you'd be none the wiser and this thread wouldn't have come up.

Teddy

 

Its happened to me quite a few times, and there was something weird about it, but I've also sold dolls I bought as well, when I found tey weren't working out.

The only thing that would make it a situation to really be upset over would be if they were selling the doll right away for a profit. That's called flipping and is generally discouraged, though I'm sure some might say that I 'flip' some restorations I've sold. But the original owners knew that ahead of time.

 

it has happened to me. i bought a doll and once she arrived i wasnt sure she was for me but i gave it 2 weeks. there was another doll i really had been wanting that was available so i decided to sell her. the nice person who bought her held on to her just a short time and decided to resell her since she was larger than she normally collects and just wasnt feeling it. i was actually suprised she pmed me to tell me since i felt it was her doll and she could do as she pleased. i did think it was very nice of her and i think she didnt want me to feel bad, but i understood. i even posted on her sale thread how long i had her and how little i handled her, so anyone interested would know that she was pretty much brand new.

 

Yeah... but there's a difference when you've done something to the doll. If someone buys a damaged doll, repairs it, then sells it for a higher value I just see it as that person charging for their labor. Same thing if someone buys a blank doll, then gives it a nice faceup and sews an outfit for it and sells it as a fullset for a profit. To me, neither of those situations are really "flipping".

I've sold dolls that just weren't right for me, but the only time I sold one so quickly was my Scarlett Johansson minimee head. I kept her for a week or so after I got her and then sold her. For me, it was an emotional attachment though... I ran the GO for the head which seemed fraught with delays and was just problematic overall. I stressed so much over the order that I just couldn't disassociate the end product from all those negative feelings. She spent the entire time I had her in the box she came in.

Stormlight: In your case, however, I would also be a little shocked. Like you've said, it is technically their doll after the sale... but it's the two-day timeframe that would have me scratching my head. I understand about not bonding with a doll, or it not being exactly what you had in mind... but in general I think people should give the doll at least a week or so before they just say "not for me" and sell it. I know not everyone thinks the same way, but I have had some dolly traits "grow on me" over time and I'm hesitant to write a doll off that quickly. While what happened to you isn't technically "wrong", per se... I would kind of feel the same way you do, that the person bought the doll for the purpose of reselling it. And I'm okay with that. What I wouldn't be okay with is the feeling that you'd been misled, or that the person on the other end may just not have been completely forthright.

Then again, they could just be a very decisive person and they didn't like the doll as much as the photos.

 

I had an incredible doll a few years back. The moment I put him in front of a camera, he came 'alive'. He was so realistic, it was unbelievable. Wonderful to photograph, amazing in front of the camera. I fell into some really hard times, and though he was a one of a kind... I sincerely couldn't afford to keep him. I kept the rights to his character (since it's originally mine), but sold the doll attached to it.

He went to live with a long distance friend, who had been completely in love with him for quite some time... Within a few weeks of him being with her, she pmed me to let me know she couldn't keep him. She was distraught that she couldn't bond with him through her own pictures, and frustrated with how 'blank' he always was. It didn't matter what she did, he wasn't the same. He looked too much like a doll, and not enough like the 'personality' that came through when he was with me.

...A lot of time has passed since then, and I found out recently that he went from home to home until about a year ago. His owner saw his faceup wasn't to her liking, wiped it immediately and now he's her own. I'm happy he's loved.

Once they leave, there isn't much you can do. Just let them go, and wish them all the luck and love you can.

 

You buy a fixer-upper, and over the years repair it, put in a new kitchen, landscape it beautifully, and partition a large room into a nursery and kid's room. It is full of memories, but things change, and it's time to move on. You sell to a friend who has always admired it, and before the ink is dry, he rips out your kitchen, moves walls around, paint the walls atrocious colors inside out, and replaces your garden with patch of gravel. And rents it out to students. It happens all the time.
But I would be upset, not because she wasn’t within her rights, but because she was so insensitive. At least she could have made up a feeble excuse, like “my best friend’s dolls are getting married and I have to buy a tux for Jeremy he can attend the wedding.”

 

I would've said some VERY filthy things to a voodoo-doll of the buyer, thrown a wicked tantrum in the privacy of my own home, & then gotten on with my life. (What would really make me actually stick the pins in the voodoo-doll is if the buyer had turned around and sold my doll for a HIGHER price. Gyah!) Sure... everyone thinks it's so easy to tell others to suck it up & divorce themselves from emotional reactions, but humans don't work like that. I say be upset, be as pissed as you want to get, but then move on. That person's just not playing with your doll in the same universe as you were. It's another doll now.

It does suck when you make things extra-nice for somebody, all perfectly-made and full of personal touches, but it turns out to be Just Business for them. Like, say, when you bust your ass making a super-special dinner for family or lover-- and they wolf it down without tasting it, mumble "thanks" with their mouth still full, and flee back to the TV room. :P

It's weird: for me, the "ouch!" point of your story was the free extra wig you'd given them. ^^ I don't know why! It's poignant. Anyway, hope you feel better.

 

Ah, that sounds lousy -- adding a freebie and expecting the doll to go to a loving home, answering a bunch of questions, but then having the doll sold almost immediately. *pats you* That is one of the reasons why I prefer to keep "business and fun" separate for the most part. And I firmly believe that it is not the seller's duty to explain easily-searched for basic information about dolls they sell (ex: "how tall is the Kid Delf Ani you are selling and what clothes can she wear? and can I see her in 16mm eyes?"). DoA is a great place for having friendly doll chatter and discussion, but I try to keep marketplace transactions pleasant but impersonal unless I happen to have some more specific shared doll interests with the person or if I know them a little already.

Like JennyNemesis so wonderfully illustrated, nice personal touches are often completely unappreciated and/or unwanted. So I rarely send nice little freebies when I sell stuff unless they are very basic (like undies!) or I have a good idea that the person would like them in particular.

 

I completely agree! Sometimes you just can't Bond with the doll. There should be nothing wrong with her selling it right away. She did give you a heads up, which is more then others would do.
I do believe she should give you first dibs on getting her back, other then that...dolly is no longer yours.
I'm sorry your feelings were hurt. As for the extras... I do always include extras with any sale, that is a gift.

 

If I feel weird about a purchase I'm going to make, I usually opt out BEFORE I make the purchase. You have to be more careful than that.

I think they can do whatever they want once they receive the doll, but it's a bit insensitive in my opinion. I usually wait a while and then make the decision to sell. Sometimes it just takes a while for a doll to mesh with you.

Was this the Soul Little Jandi by the way? She was gorgeous. I had been admiring her.

 

I can understand how you feel since that's how I would feel too (despite the logical side of the whole matter in that, yes, the doll has been sold and no longer belongs to you.) That's part of why I can never really bear to sell any of my dolls.

However, I can see the buyer's side too. I am very much a "love at first sight" person when it comes to dolls. Whenever I buy a new doll, I know as soon as I take them out of the box whether or not I will bond. For me, there isn't really a period of time during which I bond- it's either I do, or I don't.
Though even if that were to happen, I'd still keep the doll for a bit just in case (however small the chances) I bond with it.

 

DX No, not overreacting.
I am fond of 'items', things can hold memories, feelings. Experiences.
We all make mistakes now and then, some times we really regret throwing out an old pair of shoes, or a tooth of yours that fell out while eating cereal.

Dolls, and stuffed toys are the same way.
I can imagine the pain allot of people can go through having to break themselves away from some thing.
Even if its some thing like expenses.
I know my girlfriend didn't want me to sell a doll because it was, expensive.
[Guess she didn't want to see all her hard earned money via doll form just be totally dis regarded.] -- [Though I did try bonding with the doll . . . for 3 month's. ]

Now, I'm not saying 'hey every one lets be pack rats >D' I'm saying...
Yeah, those kinds of situations suck D: I can imagine how you feel.
I would have probably felt the same way.

 

People hold onto their feelings for many of the things they own, so it's hard to let go. But it just makes me say that in this hobby, if you sell a doll because you want to (meaning, not because financial reasons came up- that's a whole different thing!) then you have to let go of that attachment. Sure, feelings can linger, but the only way to prevent unhappiness is to not sell the doll in the first place then!
I can see where the OP is coming from, but really, you have to realize they are dolls. You can still be attached, BUT you sold that doll. It isn't yours anymore.

I agree on the house thing. When we moved from a house I spent my entire childhood in, it hurt to see what the new owners did- they didn't care for the house like we did (weeds going sky high, and overall uncleanliness) but just like with dolls...the house got resold, and I'm happy that the new family is taking care of that house now! So see this dolls chance as a good thing; your doll will have a chance at being cared for.

However, the main thing is: doll is gone. I suppose those who can detach feelings as soon as the doll is sold are in the best position, and able to sell dolls. If you get upset about every sale, maybe you shouldn't sell those dolls, or sell them to a close friend. Ultimately, they are things we cat attached to. Don't sell them if you are that bonded to them.

 

Well I haven't sold a doll but speaking from the other end of the spectrum I can sorta understand. I bought an El from my friend and he was my fave doll of hers so I was more than happy to get him. On the other hand I have my own list of preordaned chars that I wanna make into dolls. El was one of the dolls I was supposed to make into my own char but after buying my friends doll I felt so guilty about wiping his face up and changing him into my own char that I just wanted to put him back on sale to someone who would keep him.......or at least someone that wouldn't feel guilty about changing the doll's char.

To that sense I can understand wanting to put him/her back on sale. But if you were looking for someone to hang onto the doll and keep the char...or just hang onto then well I can understand beeing frustrated...specially after they made such a big deal about wanting it.