Buyers remorse; when does it happen and what does it mean?

I'm a dog lover with anxiety issues. That's relevant because the process of getting a doll reminds me a lot of the process of getting a puppy. When I got my first dog, I spent a lot of time researching, saving up and trying to find the perfect breed for me. I was in it 100% and it was all I could think of. When I finally got an email about a little poodle puppy after months of waiting, I was exstatic. Back then I didn't know that it was going to turn my life upside down, I was just really happy. I had butterflies in my stomach when we went to pick her up, I just couldn't wait to bring her home. I was over the moon when her breeder handed her to me and she was finally mine.

But when we got home, everything changed. Suddenly she had turned from a cute little angel to a tiny little monster who took all my time and peed all over my drawings. She cried all night long and so did I. Whenever I saw her, I burst into tears. I always knew that life with a dog wasn't going to be easy but I had no idea that I would feel so bad.

Thankfully, the "baby blues" faded away in a few weeks and I grew to love her very much. Yes, she still takes up a lot of my time and can be a pain in the butt sometimes but I can't imagine life without her.

But then the same thing happened with my second doggy. I waited for her even longer and again spent all my energy into finding the perfect puppy. People warned me that I might get depressed again but I was certain that it wasn't going to happen anymore. Not when I now knew how hard it was going to be. Well.. I was wrong, obviously. This time I didn't even have a real reason to cry. Yes, the new puppy destroyed everything that came her way, but I knew it was going to be like that. I had already been there for Pete's sakes! But again, just like the last time, that stage passed quickly.

Now I'm thinking about ordering my first doll after I get a bit more money but I'm really worried that that's going to happen with the doll too. This happens whenever I get/do something new. Even the smallest of changes stress me out, no matter how positive the change actually is. I have so many ideas for the doll(s) and their characters and stories, but in the end, a doll is a doll. I keep reminding myself that they won't move their limbs on their own, they won't talk and their expressions will not change. They're not living things. The buyer's remorse will not be wiped away when they come to sleep beside me or crawl into my lap, because obviously, dolls can't do that. Yet still.. I really want them. But I'm almost sure that I'll be dissapointed because nothing ever turns out as perfectly as I imagine. I don't have the settings to do the kind of photostories I want and I might get bored with them when they don't really do anything. But then again, I might just be thinking too much into it. Gah! To buy or not to buy.. this really is an impossible decision to make.

Sorry if I bored you people with my (incoherent?) rant and used the word 'but' too much.

 

In the past 6 months I've probably spent $2500 or so on dolls and doll stuff, so yeah ... I sometimes consider all the money I would have if I hadn't bought all that stuff. But at the same time, money is for using, I don't get much happy joy joy in my life, and spending money on something that I enjoy and which is fun for me ... is good. So I try not to feel regret about it.

Though I HAVE made a sort of "rule" now that I will only buy limiteds because otherwise I would waste a LOT LOT LOT of money on standards. It kind of makes it easier to hold myself back and keep from wasting money. And easier to save money, since limiteds are infrequent things.

So not regret per se. Just ... $2500 sure is a lot of money and I really want to move.

 

I'm exactly the same way. If it's not something BJD-related, it's TVXQ related. Once the bills are out of the way, I can spend my money whichever way I'd like, and hey, if it makes me happy why not?

 

Bokchil ILY. ... and agree with you. If I don't have bills to pay, which is usually just a cell phone, power of being a teen, I spend my money on something for my doll, something with TVXQ or some cute little accesory I can live without but I buy it anyway because I like it.

 

When I ordered my first one, there was no uncertainity and no remorse, but when I was ordering my second one, I sat in front of 'submit order' button for, like, five minutes just staring, with my hand above my mouse xD And when I did push button I was till very nervous for hour or so...but then it was gone I am tottaly satisfied with my second, even if we have some bonding issues, I love him and wont give up on him xD He's too perfect for that

 

I haven't bought anything yet, but I hope to get my first bjd soon! The thing I fear most is buyers remorse. For the past 4 years I've been looking at different types of dolls, but never had enough money to afford it. Now that I have saved up enough money I'm seriously considering what I can buy. I'm just worried about the basic things, like the doll coming with cracks or the face up being weird.

I'm also really picky. Like, I'll LOVE the sculpt of the head from one company but prefer the body of another company's doll @____@. Since I really don't want to have to buy the head and body separately (even if the company did have the option of selling the body and head separately I wouldn't know if the skin types were the same until they arrived) I have to choose between one or the other. I have anticipated buyers remorse just comparing the two and I really don't know what to do! I really hope I can end this stalemate soon so I can get my first bjd . I guess I'm worried that I'm not going to buy the right one, or I'll buy it then realize that I liked another doll more and have to wait a long time before I have enough money to buy another

any advice?

 

@LeatherBee: I kind of know how you feel (except for the puppy thing, my puppy magically found ME, I've been in love with her before my dad bought her. After I first happened to see her I visited her for a week. I wasn't planning on getting a dog nor did i put any effort into looking for one even though I wanted one. One day I just saw her and went over to play with her, and that was that. I kinda wish the same would happen for my first bjd!) I want a doll that I'll be happy with an have no buyers remorse. Maybe we're both looking too much into it? I wish I had some advice for you, but right now I'm in the same boat.

 

I wish I had gotten my doll from the company...I loved Twing-key's second pair of hands, but the owner I bought her from didn't have them

Oh well, maybe in the future I can just order her hands from DoD

 

Hm, I wouldn't say I've really had real buyers remorse... I've had a bit of nerves and thoughts of "that was a lot of money!" but I don't regret buying any of my dolls. I suppose the closest thing was after I'd bought my Kumi elf oh, a year or so earlier, and they released a coloured resin sleepy eyed elf version. That was just about my ideal doll but I couldn't justify buying her when I already had the NS open eyed elf version. But how could I have known they would release that version, you know? And I do like Clover just as she is, so I don't really regret buying her. Though now that Soom is shipping the Glots and Glatis, after such a long, long wait, I'm hoping I like her in person. I didn't get to see any owner photos before ordering her, and the few that have shipped so far don't have the full faceup and body blushing, so I do feel a little bit nervous about her... but overall I'm a lot more excited than nervous!

 

Well, it's nice to know that I'm not alone, haha. I want the same thing as you but I'm the kind that can't stop thinking "what if it all goes wrong?". I keep hearing stories about people who really want to get the doll but their parents won't let them or their friends don't approve etc. but everyone around me is telling me to go for it so it makes me feel really bad that I'm so anxious about it. Sometimes I wonder why I'm getting so worked up over a doll, it's ridiculous. But then one day my friend said that the fact that I'm thinking about all this just proves how important the doll is to me.

 

I get this every time I order a new doll. Usually its when I buy a full doll, not just a head. Probably because I blow more money on a full doll that I worry about it more. Thinking that the money could've gone somewhere else, somewhere like groceries or bills.

I think I panic mostly because I've never actually seen it in person, so I'm not sure if I'd entirely like it. Most of the dolls I like are fairly new and there aren't any pictures of them on the forum, or they're just not that popular. I worry that I made a mistake and they won't fit in. At least when you go into a store you know exactly what you're buying, when you order something online you just kind of go by the pictures and sometimes pictures are slightly decieving.

The wait makes its worse. Weeks of kind of panicking about what you did. I've been told I'm an over-catastrophister, I generally think of the worst things happening. By the time the doll arrives I'm a nervous wreck. My dad is pretty awesome, he's a real mellow sort of guy and is very supportive of my hobby. So his calm attitude through-out the whole waiting period, makes me calm down a little too.

The only doll I didn't have any remorse over (so far) is my Elfdoll Lydia. She's been a favourite sculpt of mine since I joined this forum. I've seen so many pictures of her face that when she actually arrived it was like a family member returning home from a trip abroad.

 

I had tremendous buyer's remorse over a couple of dolls. One was a tan Soo-Ri v.2. I knew as soon as I saw him that I had to have him. Leapt. And then when he got here... I couldn't connect with him at ALL and was so disappointed in myself. Fortunately enough, Aernath does Soo-Ri so we arranged a swap.

My other big buyer's remorse was the fullset tan elfdoll K that I had to get. I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to bond with a pristine limited guy the way I have with, for instance, my toggled-together second or third hand, from parts, Domuya Zen, Boris. I'm still working on letting him tell me who he is, but I certainly don't have that "no, what a mistake" feeling I've had with a few other dolls.

 

Strangely not at all... And I am the kind of person that will have second thoughts on personal (for fun or even neccessary but not crucial) purcheses all the way to the check stand...I've been known to go back and forth in my head for items as low as $5 even. But oddly, when I had the money (About $300) I knew what I was going to get exactly, and got just that. I never had a second thought, never had a lick of remorse, not ever. As I type this my 1 BJD is sitting not 2 feet from me, complete except for a couple new items I wanna make her, and I am profoundly happy with the result, and look forward to the next one.

 

Originally I purchased a JP Ai from a dealer at a con, but I somehow do not consider her my first BJD since she is made of plastic and not even permitted on the forum

But I digress...

I have not canceled an order yet due to buyers remorse... but when I ordered my first doll, I was anxious the entire time I was waiting for him to arrive. I was baffled that I had speant so much money on one item and was freaking out because I wasn't sure that I would love him enough or that I might get bored with him...

But... once I held him for the first time... I was in love. I am so happy that I purchased my Trez.

I have since ordered a puki and another Bobobie Needless to say, once you are comfortable with the hobby, you pretty well know what you want.

 

Every. Single. Time.

Could I have bought a better doll? Have I bought the RIGHT doll? Should I have spent all that money? Will I really like them when they get here? What if I don't like them? Is this a waste of money?

Of course none of these can be answered until the doll gets to you so it's best just to kick back and chill until they do

 

-eyes Chrom, nods- I feel so utterly guilty about having put him on layaway. Money is usually kinda tight and my roomie had to go in to the ER with no insurance so it's just going to get worse.. -_- I only have one more payment though, so I'm just going to see it through. I'm hoping once he's home I wont feel like I've made such a huge mistake anymore, but right now? I feel like a heel.

 

I've learned to not make impulsive buys with my dolls. I sell all the ones that I buy impulsively.

 

Right after i bought my boy i started getting less hours at work, so i was worried about spending so much. I'm just getting over this now that im getting my hours back. Hopefully he'll come home soon =]

 

I only get buyers remorse over doll clothes/props/wigs/eyes.
I'll buy a bunch of things then think, Crap! I could have bought 1/3 of a fcs doll with that money

with the dolls themselves, I only regret not buying them.

 

I feel some sort of remorse every time I buy a doll and I always end up adoring them when they finally arrive. I think I got some aversion to spending a lot of money at the same time So I always get a bit panicky when I buy something really expensive even though I know that I can afford it.

The only doll I didn't panic about was my first Unoa and then I had been wanting him over a year, so I wasn't one bit unsure about buying him.