"Coming out" as a BJD owner?

Wow, You are so lucky!

 

I think I was lucky - when I showed my friends and family my dolls they all just said they were pretty! Some of them were creeped out (thank you, Chucky) but nowadays they're all used to my funny little family. BJD's have been the last (after Blythes and Pullips) and I think some of my friends were relieved to see "normal" looking non-bobbleheaded dolls. This may change when I add a Popovy, or an SD though - SD's are BIG!

 

As soon as I found out about BJDs I was showing pictures to my husband, and basically talking his ear off about how I wanted one. So by the time I got one, he didn't really mind because he knew what they were and such.

But for my extended family, they weren't too keen on the idea. I remember my mother had been talking to me and I had left my little Hujoo out and she just stared at it and asked why I had an alien. I was kinda taken aback by the comment so I just brushed it off as an artist model for my drawing. They eventually saw the other dolls but I never actually explained the hobby to them, just my son and husband know.

 

Seriously. No coming out or bomb dropping necessary. You decided to buy a thing. You own the thing. The thing and your ownership of it does not dramatically alter your life or define your personhood. No need to send out announcements or have a reveal discussion in which you confess it to people. To me that is as silly as sitting someone down to tell them, "I don't know how to tell you this, but I think you need to know... I BOUGHT A NEW TOASTER LAST WEEK."

 

I myself personally didn't have any troubles letting my family and friends know about my new hobby - after all it's not the first "strange" hobby I have and obviouly not the last. I didn't start a "serious talk" to introduce anyone I know into my hobby, just mentioned it when it was ok, talking about the news each of us had at that time - I was very happy about getting into the BJDs so I wanted to share my excitement ) I didn't encounter any bad reactions all, some curiosity possibly, but nothing negative.

 

In a way I was very lucky, my mom was always into collecting dolls (though of a different, more antique sort) and my grandpa is always kind of clueless, so I didn't really have to worry about telling them much. The guy I was living with when I started buying more expensive BJD I would often hide them from as they came in the mail, and wouldn't tell him if I bought a new one. I wouldn't ever really tell my mom either, because she would complain at me about spending money and how I should be spending it on a new oven or something. Now I went from mildly lucky to extremely lucky. I have an amazing boyfriend who supports my hobby in it's entirety and every spending choice I decide to make. After showing my mom my first BJD she fell in love with the hobby as well, and is now buying BJD too and spends more than I do! She still complains, but she can't say nearly as much about that as she used to- as she's realized this hobby is kind of an addiction.


In the end I've never been in a bad situation financially because of dolls, and I will only buy them if they are extremely limited new or for a great deal used. I would highly recommend looking for a doll that is a good price and one that you truly want first. Don't settle for something just because you really want a BJD, or that doll will never fully fit with your collection regardless of what you do. As I said, this hobby is addicting and once you start it's extremely difficult to stop. It takes a lot of time and money, and while support isn't absolutely necessary it's really nice to have. Maybe try talking to your closest family member, tell them you found something really cool or that you really like you want to buy. Tell that person why you want to buy a certain doll and how it would benefit you, for example.. a lot of people are into BJD because they can make dolls into characters, give them stories, customize them, or whatever they want to do. It's an artform, not by any means a toy.

I wish you the best of luck in telling your family about your interest in the hobby!

 

I find it amazing how some people on the thread think everyone's situations are the same... Sure, it's "just a doll", your money, etc... But not everyone is as lucky as you are (attitude and family wise). I know when I will tell my parents (and I'm 22), they will freak out. They already guilt trip me over Pullips and similar, which are 1/10th the price, so I don't know how family reunions will be after I get my SD boy and they find out!

 

I haven't purchased my first doll yet (still going back and forth between designs, etc) but I'm in a financial situation where I feel comfortable enough to purchase one, and I'm also finally embracing my less mainstream interests as a vital, unabashed part of myself. Things that I would have been embarrassed about last year, I'm beginning to accept without apology this year. However, I do realize that part of the reason I feel so comfortable making purchases that make me happy right now is that I'm single, living without a roommate or partner! I do sometimes worry about what a potential boyfriend would say about the hobby or my doll, whenever I end up receiving it ... But I think in general, the earlier you begin embracing and being candid about your interests and hobbies, the smoother the 'coming out' process is. Families are a little tricky, but as far as other people go, I feel that if it's already a part of your personality that you accept and are happy with when you meet people, others will generally take it for granted as just another part of who you are when you tell them. It's not a particularly 'dark' or 'dangerous' hobby really. So while others may not quite understand it, they don't have much ground to stand on as far as judging you for it!

 

I always wanted dolls and attempted at a very young age to persuade my parents to let me go and learn from a local doll repair woman as well as take an online course. My grandmother made me a china doll with stuffed body and she was a mainstay. My mothers side of the family were all artistic so it wasn't a stretch: my aunt owned a ceramics shop with greenwae as well as already made products and taught classes. I am just disappoited I wasn't able to really get into the nuances and all aspects of doll making at a very early age but that didn;t mean I couldn't seriously collect them when I was able to buy them myself!

 

I want to add I had to go through the tease harrassment and still do of the "creepiness" of dolls by sme friends but that is their issue

 

My family and friends ( i have only one xD) know my love for Dolls. They find it ok. Only one of my brothers cannot understand this.
My mother like the dolls also. She collect Disney Animator Dolls.
I dont tell anyone about it. I buyed my dolls, without speak with other people about it. Its my life.^^

 

I like my privacy, so when I got my first doll I kept it to myself, brought the box home and snuck it into my room. Since if my mother saw it she would instantly ask what the big thing was. Then I had time to myself to open it and so forth. Got a little scared with the resin outgassing. My mother claims to have a sensitive nose and hates the smell of chemicals or artificial scents like perfumes. Was worried she'd chew me out for not letting it outgas outside in the sun but she never noticed. I made him some cloths and started to leave him sitting around since I didn't have a good spot to store him. Eventually mom noticed and stared while leaving my room and I got up all "want to meet Nate?"

Just went super casual about it. Explained to her it's an art doll and the amazing things people do. Got a funny face when I mentioned them to be slightly atomically correct. Hey I'm an artist, I draw nude people for practice, no one gets the judge me on that.
She seemed okay with it, possible disturbed.

But then the following months she kept coming back from the thrift store with tiny things! Got a tiny violin, some tiny glasses. She even bought a box to keep his cloths in. It was nice.
I believe her over all impression is Fancy Toy / Those wooden dolls on pegs you pose for art.
I got two more dolls since then who are drastically different. Haven't really shown her those since her reaction might change based on appearances.

As for my boyfriend (before we were dating), I completely forgot about the subject till he talked about how Chucky, movie, made him scared of dolls. I got nervous but eventually told him I collect a certain kind of dolls. I made him join me during the box opening of my two newest from Doll Chateau. I think he was slightly creeped till I started explaining all the cool things people do. Making cloths, environments, modding, face changing face ups. So forth. Then he liked it better and thought it was cool. He's an artist so he can appreciate it. I can tell he's still a bit creeped out but I told him I can show him how to take them apart if they get possessed one day. But I think the idea of dismembering them might creep him out more so. I'll try and clean them on days he's not around lol.

 

I have the big boys & most people know I collect male dolls, so it's not a surprise to them.

 

I didn't have to struggle with 'coming out as a BJD owner' since I blatantly showed my friends as well as my parents images of the dolls that I wanted, and even went as far as trying to explain why and how they were made, just how beautiful they are, and how much I wanted them. I basically blathered all about BJDs, and sure, there were several that found it creepy, but nothing can be done with that. Not everyone will like it. Different preferences and all.

 

I'd been showing pictures of them almost immediately after I found out about them to my friends, but with my family (which was a bigger deal to me) I'd never mentioned them but it just sort of happened, my dad had asked me if I was saving up to buy anything, and I replied with well, there's this doll...
Everyone was really surprised at first, because of both the price and that I'd never been too interested in dolls, even as a kid, but after the shock they came around pretty quick.
My parents seem to think its pretty cool now, and my grandma keeps calling me while she's at rummage sales, saying "would your doll want this?"

 

I still lived at home by the time I got my first doll and although I earned my own money I often spoke with my parents about what I was gonna spend it on before spending them. Previously I spent all my money on buying books, manga and anime, yet after i told her about the dolls, she was very open and asked a lot of questions. She was quite intruiged by it but she asked why I wanted one since my sewing skills are quite limited. Now that I have them she is quite curious about them too. my CP SS Chiwoo is currently living at her place because she wanted to try and restring him.

My father was just as curious and he is a very big fan of my dolls too, he thinks they are pretty and likes to fiddle around with them, trying to pose them on his own. Although I have collected dolls for ten years my parents are also still curious about the dolls.

 

Ah, heh. Yes. It is definately not the same as "coming out" in sexuality but I find my mother to be very disapointed in me. I got one of my first order in's and since the box was on the table she knew I had purchased something. I took it up to my room to open it, as I was excited to do so. She came by later and her expression changed to one of disgust when she saw the pretty little doll in my hands.

Honestly, it may not be a big thing, but having my mother hate the thing I love, hurts.

Luckily I have a friend in the hobby, and turning to her helped me feel better about it. :3