Cracking on other people's dolls where do you stand?

Unless a person specifically asks for an opinion, you can give one. But even then there's tact. Downright bashing is never okay in my book. if you don't like it, you can generally say it, but in a contructive way. If the person asks for critique, you can tell them what they could improve or something like that.
Telling people you hate their dolls for sport is petty and just wrong. It's not your place to say anything about someone else's doll. You might dislike the faceup or whatever, but the owner obviously likes it and that's whats counts. You wouldn't like it either if your doll got bashed.
If someone has trouble with rude comments, they should contact a moderator. They can sort it out.

 

I can respect this point. But again, I think it's...like what the_impassive said. I think it's a lot more minor a thing than what people make of it.


Also, a note on all this legality talk - snark websites are generally protected by laws related to "parody" and humor, FYI.

vampireanneke, you also need to research the concept of "liability".

We can all use Google, people. :3

 

No. While I'm not fond of snarky remarks about someone's doll, bad face-up etc - I have little tolerance for drama-lama's and special snowflakes, though - I don't think those responses are bullying. It only becomes bullying when the same forum is constantly harrassing the same person over and over. Usually snark-forums pick everyone, anytime and are not directing to someone in particular.

Just because the entire board is responding to a single situation doesn't make it a recurring thing. It's like a classroom full of children laughing at someone who did something stupid. Akward? Yes. Bullying. No way, it's a one-time affair and an hour later everybody has forgotten about it.

We all snark sometimes. That doesn't proof that we have despicable personalities. It proves that we are human. Not good, not evil, just... grey.

 

Actually if you go to a snark forum they do tend to pick on the same people over and over. They have entire threads set up just to bash single individuals, and do so over and over. It's sad and disgusting.

 

I think you're missing the point of the thread. ^_^ We all agree with you here. There is a difference between concrit and being a jerk, and being a jerk isn't allowed on DOA, which we all certainly support.

I...saw that too, but figured I didn't want to get into it.


An amusing side note to this discussion - My boyfriend asked what I was doing, and he decided vampireanneke is trolling this thread, lol. He's so jaded. @_@

 

Don't add fuel to the fire. If there's no more fun, people look for it somewhere else.

 

Most of those threads are based on the people with very bad transactions- to keep tabs on if they're scamming/who/what community. They are rarely posted in and what is posted is just there to bring in new information to keep us, as buyers, safe. I would rather snark about someone that has stolen/scammed/etc a bunch of people and know where they are going to hit next, rather than pretend that a single MP ban would stop them from doing harm anywhere else.

 

Everyone knows that they're not going to like every sculpt out there - no every company, face-up, or wig. I think everyone has their own tastes. I know there are a lot of face-ups I've seen that look not-that-great (sometimes worse), but that being said, there's no way I'm going to come out and tell someone that their doll's face-up is bad.

And most likely, even as I say that I've seen a lot of bad face-ups, I don't remember who owned those dolls. I have never seen anyone going to all their friends, and telling someone "Oh, their doll looks terrible!" - because it will probably get you in trouble on DoA, and it's just not polite. A bad face-up won't hurt me. I think "I don't like this", and move on to another doll's pic.

I really have never had anyone tell me if my doll was bad or not. I've always felt DoA was full of pretty polite people, and you have to give the Mods lots of respect for keeping it safe for everyone. But in a place where the Mods may not be so dedicated, or there aren't any at all, if you don't want people saying hurtful things, don't put yourself into a situation where you're going to get offended.

I should have known better last week, when I asked a question in Yahoo! Answers. A lot of trolls are all over the internet. And you don't even know if they mean what they say.

If anyone knows of "Den of Demons" - which is also a BJD site, the rules state that you will pretty much get ragged on at some point. While I did join the forums, I decided not to go back because I'm one of those people who really don't take other people's sarcasm or ragging well.

 

I believe there is a clear difference between sharing your observations about someone's doll with each other and outright making fun of it. Yes there are times I wonder what were they thinking but I would not post my thoughts in an open community so that others may ridicule the owner of the doll.

 

You're absolutely right, it's sad and disgusting that those individuals have so poisoned the water of the doll community that there's enough material for entire threads about them. More tragic still that they insist on repeating their mistakes in a way that warrants tracking them so that their alternate usernames/aliases/tactics can be recorded for posterity.

 

We are not talking about people who have done bad transactions. Threads for people who are scammers, etc is something differently entirely. We are talking about people who just play with their dolls differently. Who have a different view of what is art and beautiful then others. And which have threads made about them, just to make fun of them. Not because the person did anything wrong as far transactions.

 

As another has noticed those threads track people who have scammed the community, or people have repeatedly acted stupidly.

 

This. A pattern of histrionic pearl-clutching over imagined and blown out of proportion slights is a foolproof way to make yourself infamous.

 

OMG - really?! This is terrible! Gives me another reason to avoid these people and places. Especially a person like me. People have committed suicide over being endlessly bullied; are there going to be crackdowns on places like these when someone there commits suicide? I couldn't take that kind of thing lightly - and I don't care if people think I should.

I think 'snark' is just fluff for some of these sites. Snark, to me, is equal to maybe some light joking around - not creating posts just to bash other users. What kind of places are these? And why don't people monitor them better? Worse - what do people expect the users being bashed to do? Sit there and take it? That's outright moronic, to me.

I wonder if this, like many hobbies, can have their "power-hungry" ultra-hobbyists. Perhaps these people are so out of touch with reality, that they can only truly invest in proclaiming how superior they are, and how little everyone else matters? Like, their way is the only way, and any other way is laughable.

 

The funny thing is that I suspect if a lot of the people here decrying snark sites actually spent some time on the one I administrate they'd discover it's actually nowhere near as horrible as they think it is.

Right now I think the three longest-running semi-active threads are as follows:

1. A bad buyers/sellers listing warning users of people who've behaved badly in transactions somewhere.
2. A thread about new Soom releases, and;
3. A thread discussing a user who has scammed the doll fandom and several other fandoms extensively, stolen items and money from multiple people, ruined people's dolls, lied, and been banned from basically every doll forum on the internet.

Mostly when people are snarked it's a one-off. There are a few "repeat offenders" but most of them are scammers.

 

As a long time member of that forum my stance is that if you're not able to take the consequences of making negative comments, just stay away. I speak from experience. Because if someone sees your comment and interprets it badly, there's a chance you'll never live it down. Some very mild comments I made years ago still seem to come back to bite me.

 

Writern, I think you misunderstand. Typically the snark communities are kept isolated and seperate. Unless you go to them or seek them out the person being snarked on will never know what's being said about them(unless the snark forum catches some-one copying dolls, or scamming and then report it to the mods here) The snark coms are not harassing anyone(for it to really be harassment, that would need to be posting intentially where it would be unavoidable for the target to see it.

Think of it as you getting together with friends from school in one of your homes and saying "so and so is such a stuck-up b****" vs going up to her and calling her a b****, or calling her, posting on her facebook, vandelising her property. One of these is harassment and bullying, the other not so much.

 

"Oh no guiz, being insulted about a hobby is so bad it's going to end the world."

Really?

If having your dolls mocked is so painful that you start thinking about legal action and suicide, you need to just stop taking photos, stop posting and get on with enjoying your stuff on your own. Anything that you throw into the public forum is going to have people looking at it, and people don't always think lovely fluffy thoughts. And sometimes they'll tell you. Sometimes they'll tell you in a way that is (or tries to be) amusing. Often, amusement and cruelty go hand in hand.

In short - Thick skins are needed if you plan to do anything in public. If you can't handle people's reactions, stick to sharing with your closest, most tightly-vetted group of friends.

 

A doll and a person are two separate things. Saying 'your doll is ugly' is not the same as saying 'you are ugly.' Those are two very clear and separate statements.

This. If it was against the law to call an item owned by someone else ugly, there would be an awful lot of art critics and museum guests behind bars right now. Because at the end of the day, that is what a doll is- it's an item, a possession, NOT a person. If someone calls your doll ugly and your first thought is 'OMG, I have to SUE!' then I'm afraid you don't understand the legal system.

This point interests me.

Here's a theoretical situation: I belong to a book club, and we are all given a book to read. I happen to dislike the book. I think the book is badly written, has very superficial characters and a boring plot. In fact, let's say it's the worst book I have ever read. When I get back to my book club, and tell them that I thought that book sucked horrible and- in my opinion- should never have been published....... should the author sue me? The book club asked for my opinion on it, after all. Or should book clubs not discuss books, because only the author has the right to ask what people think of their work? And yet, books are published- deliberately put to the public, to be read, and enjoyed, and sometimes not enjoyed.

Let's take it another step on. If I read this book, and then complain about it on my LiveJournal account- a locked account, viewable to only myself and my friends- does that count as bullying the author? Am I libelling them because I don't like what they have published? Someone could tell the author what I have said, and maybe it would upset them, but am I actually bullying them? Should they take legal action over it, or threaten suicide because I honestly thought their book was a pile of fail?

The answer is of course not. An item put into the public domain (weather it is written, painted, sculpted, or a photograph) is just that- public. And people are allowed to have opinions on them.

 

The Victim of teasing is not the one who should just 'suck it up', and a problem with society for thinking such, and why people go to such extremes. Because of people that think it's okay to harass others.