Date...meet my doll...doll...meet my date

I find BJDs come up very easy/early in the dating scene. One of the first safe topics to share with a date is what hobbies and interests do you have. I'll cover my various hobbies, and bjds are just one of them. I then to express it as a collectable hobby, which the people I go out with understand easily enough because I tend to date only in the geek circles (and almost all geeks collect something). I have more issues explaining about all the cosplaying I do.

 

The real question is why attempt to date someone who will put you down, or respect you less because you have a hobby they don't understand or aren't interested in?

 

Thankfully I was already dating someone for a solid 4 years before I discovered BJDs. I was embarrassed at first to admit that I was even looking at them, because at first they creeped me out so I thought they wouldn't go over very well with my manly boyfriend. Turns out he's very supportive of them and thinks it's cute that I love them so much. But I would bring them up before the person comes over or actually sees them because BJDs can be a shock for some people. I've gotten good results by preparing my family members when I described ball-jointed dolls as beautiful works of art, or poseable sculptures. Then when they see them and feel them, they can tell it's definitely not like a Barbie.

It's nothing to be worried about, I think everyone has at least one quirk... something a little off the wall that they do And if BJDs are one of your "weirdest" quirks, that's really nothing to be ashamed of!

 

I've brought up the fact that I have a doll hobby to every guy I've dated and have gotten a whole range of reactions from the "That's so cool and unique" to "Oh, okay, whatevs." I use their initial reaction to gauge how much I should express my enthusiasm for them. I love my dolls quite a bit, but if they're nonchalant about my hobby, then I won't really bother them with it too much.

I think Ostrich articulated it best that it's all in how you present your love for hobby. I myself get turned off by people who are over-enthusiastic about things that I enjoy despite common interest; think about how much more true it is for someone who doesn't have that interest!

Luckily for me, though, my current boyfriend is supportive of my hobby and doesn't mind if I blather on about it because he is just as geeky about his car hobby and will chat my ear off about things I know nothing about, if I allow him to do so. In that regard, I see how even a little interest in their hobby makes them happy, so I would hope that you could find someone that can be a little understanding about your interests. I think he actually enjoys the hobby with me as he's also a photographer and realizes that these dolls are meant to be photographed, so he gets practice subjects other than his cars.

 

I'm a guy too, and maybe it is just the people I hang around with, but generally they tease me about my "doll obsession" but ultimatly do appreciate the hobby. All the girls I know want to get a doll after seeing mine too!

 

If it were me (though I don't date much), I wouldn't make a big deal of it. Instead I would do what I usually do in the case of interactions with nondoll people. I will not hide my dolls -- they will remain sitting on their shelves in my livingroom no matter who comes over. However, I would not draw attention to them. If someone asks, I will happily explain, but I don't assume who ever it is would necessarily be interested. Likewise if I'm with people who are not at my house to see them, and I'm asked about my hobbies I will tell them, but not otherwise bring them up. It's not a matter of fearing a bad reaction, but respecting the fact that other people don't necessarily want to hear me blab on and on about dolls (which I am very capable of doing if given the chance).

I think the big thing is this: If you act uncomfortable and like there is something to hide, it will come off more poorly and make your hobby seem all the more strange. If you're laid back about it and treat it as something normal it will seem less off.

 

I'm soo glad my girlfiend likes dolls too^^
So there's no need to act differently ;3

 

When I meet new people and if hobbies come up or what I spend my time doing I usually say 'I make doll clothes for asian artist ball jointed dolls'. If they ask about it I tell them more, if they dont, I dont mention it again, like any subject. That way when they come round theyll know what to expect, but I dont have my dolls on display in my front room. Sometimes when the subject comes up when someone is at my house theyll usually ask if they can see them first, rather than me saying HEY WANNA SEE MY DOLLS!!! and charging at them.

 

I am quirky enough, the dolls would probably be a deal breaker
Non doll people seldom understand them

 

loneliness I guess

 

If you're not happy with yourself, no one will ever make you happy. No one can make you happy if you're not happy on your own. That's where co-dependents come from.

It lies within your own heart to give yourself peace. :3

To remain on topic, my friends that have come over and seen them go, "...and more creepy dolls...eee...."

And yet I've seen their second story bedroom that's so filled with Twilight stuff they can't get inside it. At all. And said nothing much but a teasing, "So where are you going to put the Breaking Dawn stuff?"

 

I tend to talk a mile a minute on everything when I'm excited. So if I'm on a date and we're having a conversation on our interests it'd be hard for me to not talk about bjds. At least if I find out my date is creeped out by my dolls on the first date, and he doesn't call me anymore, I wouldn't be wasting any more time trying to develop a relationship. Better to cut it off early and cleanly than to have it be long and drawn out.​

 

For me, this is something that should come up in the first date, with that question "So, tell me about yourself." For me, it's not that hard to slip it in casually. "I'm 23, I'm a dog person, I work as a retail assistant but am hoping to get a permanent job as a teacher, oh, and my hobbies are anime, music and collecting art dolls. I'm also writing a book."

-shrugs- If they can't accept that you have a strange hobby first up, they're just going to react like you were hiding it later, (which you kinda were, so they're entitled) and it's not going to go down well. Always go into these sorts of situations with your 'crazy' cards laid on the table.

 

When I fall for someone, I fall hard. So I might end up forsaking my dolls in a moment of romantic passion. which I would regret for sure later on.

To prevent this, I usually include in conversations with any new people "Well, I collect bjds, I cosplay, and I like to mix music. What do you like to do?" That way, future love interests and friends will know what they're getting into. ^^

 

I'm not lonely I was just giving a suggestion :P

Myself, I really just need to learn to talk to girls without saying something stupid and ruining everything, before worrying about dolls lol

 

When I used to date, I would bring up my dolls just like I brought up all of my other interests. Usually, during the first few days, the topic of hobbies comes up, which is when I would say something like: "My hobbies include traveling, aviation, reading and collecting dolls". My like for aviation, travel or doll collecting don't define me, but they are a big part of who I am and what makes me tick. The men I ended up having meaningful relationships with were not bothered by my dolls, and, in fact, very often gave dolls as holiday/birthday presents. Interestingly, during what I consider to be my worst relationship, the guy absolutely hated my dolls.

Now that I am married, my husband is very supportive of my hobbies, and doesn't mind when I chat about dolls, planes, or what have you. In turn, I respect his leisurely pursuits - it's a two-way street.

Like someone mentioned above, don't be ashamed or secretive about your dolls, and your date will probably not think much more of them than a unique, unusual hobby.

 

My boyfriend and I actually got together due to my doll!! I was sat on my own with my doll and it was the doll that drew him over, we didn't speak properly till a week after, he sort of tracked me down XD and the week after that we were together

 

I tend to like keeping my doll hobby to myself. While I'm not ashamed of them, most of the people around me don't care for them/think they're too expensive/stupid ect. Though I don't go out of my way to hide them if a new friend or a boyfriend would come over.

Funny fact, before I met my current boyfriend before a con I was taking my dolls I was paranoid as hell that this person I'd never met would damage or be creeped out by them. Turns out though that he was completely fine with them and thought they were actually pretty neat. And now that we're dating he actually gets excited about my incoming dolls or things that I make for them. He even helped me pick out my most recent doll purchase!

All in all, no, don't hide your resins. They're a part of you, chances are if the person really likes you, they'll accept it. And if you're really lucky, they'll even get in on the fun! ^_~

 

I tried hiding my dolls from my boyfriend but when I told him that I was hiding them, he simply said "Oh, yeah I've seen them around your room, I don't mind...." And he actually gets mad when I close DoA or pictures of dolls. He is intrigued by my dolls and likes seeing them so I've never been paranoid.

If it was any other guy, I would hide them as I do from a lot of people. I almost never open up about them unless I'm talking to a close friend.

 

Lol, funny story I have about a potential beau (he didn't quite make the cut, great guy, but more friend material...) He always knew about the dolls, because we always talked about our odd hobbies with each other, and he thought that I should only ever have the three I had when I met him. Then, I saw Epidos and placed him on order.

His response? "OMG WHHHHY?"

And I told him "Because Centaur!"

And his response to that was "Oh, that's okay then. In fact, that's kinda neat."

I wonder how he would react now, given that my collection has grown to eight with three coming in and four floating heads...