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Date...meet my doll...doll...meet my date

Sep 9, 2011

    1. I've yet to have a boyfriend. However, with all the new friends I made, I have told some of them about my love of dolls. I'd ask them what do they like the most, or maybe our interests would come up in a conversation, and I'd usually say, "I'm kind of weird, as I'm really into these type of dolls called ball-jointed dolls, because..." and I name a reason or two. I go to a high school based on creative and performance arts, so people are really understanding ^^ However, even then, I always try to initially talk about it in a joking tone as to lighten the mood.

      I have a crush on a upperclassman who is in one of my classes (although I do see him often,) and he's been really supportive of some of my interests. I kind of want to talk about BJDs with him and see what happens from there... :sweat
       
    2. I wish you luck :)
       
    3. When I discovered the hobby I was dating my boyfriend and was at first shy to bring it up, but later on I kept talking about it constantly for hours up to a month and he was becoming kind of sick of all my rambling the poor guy XD. He is none the less, supportive, he didn't mind my hobby at all.

      Lately I have been trying to find a sweet guy and they always ask what I am into. And I usually say, "I'm really into the culture of Japan and some of their hobbies. One of my hobbies is doll collecting and I love it very much." Some raise an eyebrow, and others have thought of it as being neat and making me unique from other girls they have dated XD. So yea, if they are a sweet guy and support my hobby and can sometimes handle my endless ramble of it, definitely kudos in my book ^_^!
       
    4. I've been with my bf for 4 and a half years and never really dated before that, but when we first hooked up I babbled out EVERYTHING that was important to me XD I believe my possessions are a HUGE part of who I am, and I can't help taking rejection of them as rejection of myself. If someone can't handle my collections/animals/general nerdiness, we won't get along, end of story. I've decided I'd rather get it all out in the open right away, so I know whether or not I'm wasting my time XD
       
    5. Also, I just thought of an ad that ran in Australia a few years ago (I don't know if it was shown elsewhere) for a furniture store, in which a guy takes his date up to his room and she recoils in horror at his Star Wars action figures and Spiderman bedspread (or items to that effect). I think I yelled at the TV the first time I saw it, because OH GOD, if I walked into that I would immediately be in love! I guess this is why I don't have friends who aren't nerds about *something* XD I just can't understand how someone could not be thrilled into a room full of dolls.
       
    6. I've never thought about it when I've brought a girl into my room. I'm so used to walking in there and hardly notice I forget they might be a bit of a shock. Girls have always seemed to like them and want to hold them. You can't keep a doll from a girl, you can see her eyes light up as she thinks of her Barbies from her childhood. ;)

      It would be funny if I bought some one back that was Pediophobic! I couldn't date some one who hated or feared my dolls. They are part of me and have to be accepted. :)
       
    7. Normally I make people aware of my interests and hobbies before having them over... considering I tend to take a ton of photos of my dolls, I sure hope they're aware of my doll hobby. With that said, when I had my date over for the first time I made sure to put one of the dolls on the dresser in plain view. Surprisingly he didn't say anything or give it much attention. Weather that is good or bad, I'm not sure.
       
    8. I remember those ads and feelling the same about them. (The other one I used to get upset and ranty over was the one where the room was a woman's room and completely pink, but that was more because I was a wee angry child who hated pink.)

      I can accept that people don't like my dolls and I can still be friends with them. A person doesn't have to accept the entirity of my life, just like I don't have to accept the entirity of theirs. What they have to do is to be willing to listen. I talk to my friend and ask questions about her interests even when they don't necessarily coincide with mine. (Horror movies, for instance. I don't get horror movies.) She does the same for me. It's about communication and recognising that someone you care about likes something, even if you don't understand why they like it.

      So I can sit there and listen to her rant about slasher movies and how they're different from cult horror and smile and nod, and even ask questions about it. And she can sit there and ask how the dolls are going, if there is anyone new coming in and what my plans are.

      It's called being friends. =)
       
    9. I have no idea what I'm gonna do when a guy I like ends up at my house and sees the dolls. I'm already weird enough so maybe he'll take it in stride as yet another bizarre quirk of mine.
      In a perfect world, he'd think they were awesome and want to help me do photoshoots. Eh, I can dream.
       
    10. Yea. I'd have to say. I agree with this statement. It's my hobby. If you can't deal with my hobby, then too bad =\
       
    11. LOL, these dolls are not something you just...spring on someone your dating! You start off telling them about your hobby, describe it, ease them into.

      Because even though I'm a BJD collector, I'll be honest and say if I didn't know and we went back to his place and he had all kinds of dolls in his bedroom....it's going to kill the mood and I'm going to have some questions!

      I speak from experience. I was dating this guy, years ago, and he never told me what he collected. So I had NO CLUE walking into his place what I was in for......clowns! Horrible, hideous, terrifying CLOWNS! They were everywhere! UGH! Made my skin crawl just standing there...being stared at...surrounded....by all those clown figures and dolls. It was a nightmare. He never brought it up soooo he never found out (till that moment) just how scared I am of clowns.
       
    12. if the person gets to know me, he will hear about my dolls before meeting them. (I have so little hobbies and interests. it's kinda sad actually .___.'' ) . and of course, if I start talking about them I will show a pic or two :3 so he's..... mentally prepared to face them IRL xD;;

      agree. if the guy/girl gets like "ugh, you can't keep those dolls they're ugly, stupid and useless! it's them or me!" I'd be like BITCH GTFO. if the person can't accept things that are important to you and/or if that person wants to change you, I just think they don't love you enough. :/
       
    13. Honestly, so long as all the dolls are dressed, wigged and eyed, as well as being in acceptable poses, I doubt it'd be a huge problem. This is a collecting hobby, just like coins, baseball cards, figurines, stamps, ect. So long as they are shown properly and explained that the dolls are a hobby, I don't see it as being an issue. Just explain the dolls if/when the date mentions them. Talk about them factually without sounding obsessive.

      The last two guys I dated knew about my dolls, and neither of them had issues with them. They saw them as they were... an artistic hobby. Since I do have a fair number of Soom tinies with pupilless eyes, yea, they did find one or two 'creepy', but they were still able to appreciate them regardless of that. Actually, unless I was actively working with my dolls or organizing a meet, they pretty much ignored the dolls.
       
    14. Haha well I met my husband online, a site called geek to geek lol xD

      Before we met we talked a lot online and were friends on facebook. I told him about my dolls and showed pics of them and he said they were pretty cool and saw them as pieces of art. When he came over my house for the first time I kinda told him these were my dolls, pointed at them and left it at that. I let him pick them up when he wanted to and ask questions about them. I certainly didn't want to be all like, "Here are my dollies! They are my life! Look! My boy has a weiner!" That would just freak anyone out, especially a potential partner!

      Well, fast forward two years later, we have a large doll table in our office, and 5 out of the 6 dolls on there are his! lol! xD *I love my hubby* <3

      So, certainly tell the person about them, but don't be over bearing! That kinda goes with anything really, little bit at a time is the trick ;)
       
    15. I don't feel like it should ever be a problem, after all they are just inanimate objects. Though it would be hard, I imagine, being with someone who feared the dolls but really wanted to like them.

      As for myself, I remember casually bringing it up to my current boyfriend when we were still in the friend stage. His hobby is music, mine was becoming dolls as I hadn't yet purchased my first at the time. He accepts it and thinks it's cute that I love dolls so much. I remember he even bragged to his mom about it, haha. :aheartbea It really just depends on the person I think.
       
    16. When I was first getting to know my current boyfriend over a year ago, we talked a lot about our interests and hobbies before we even met in person. Course we met online playing an MMORPG, so we both knew we were total geeks already! Even so, the topic just happened to pop up and it wasn't anything awkward or forced.

      He was actually curious to see my dolls just as I was curious to see his painted miniatures. He even attended a small doll convention with me! We definitely can appreciate the art and interest each others hobbies which is definitely a cool thing for the both of us. We're artistic nerds and we love it!
       
    17. Yee, this is an awesome thread. I completely understand this, I live with my guy and have been with him almost a year and a half, but when we first started dating I remember being so nervous to show him my dolls. I hid them the first time he came over!! :|
       
    18. My guy enjoys anime, so I started by showing him my DDDy Yoko, he thought she was pretty cool and only gawked at the price for a second- he has his computers, I have my dolls. :P

      Since I've moved in with him the dolls have taken over a bit more than he'd like. I have 7 on the computer desk (for my computer, its in the office which is hardly used.) 2 of which dolls are mostly naked, 1 is bald, and there is 1 in pieces. Then there is the doll stuff all around the room- the little shoes and fabric, and furniture. Apparently its gotten out of hand, and its not even all here yet. Some has been in storage at my parents' house for the past few years. :/ I guess I need to finish painting my new doll cabinet so he doesnt have to look at all of the parts and the mess anymore.
       
    19. I only date weirdos, so this has never been a problem for me. :XD: Really, any guy who has Weird Shields that're strong enough that he finds me irresistible, he's usually in. And most of them are equally as freaky or freakier than me in some way.

      Even if people do react with alarm, I make sure they know that if you want to be with me (this goes for friends, as well as paramours) you must accept my various lunacies-- you don't have to like em, but they are part of me, so you must accept them. This is why weirdos are better; they're generally eager to have their own flaws and lunacies accepted, too.

      I personally don't have any more time/patience left for anyone who doesn't accept me as-is... life is too short! But I get that some people don't mind a little compromise. For those who do, some fortune cookies:

      ------

      General Dating Tip #1: Never Act Ashamed. It just makes you seem pathetic. If you're ashamed by the things you love, you radiate "I'm sorry I exist" vibes. These only seem to make people want to mistreat you, and they are also very unhealthy for you.

      General Dating Tip #2: Establish Dominance Immediately. If you've mentioned to your date that you're a doll collector, and he's still wigged-out when he sees your collection, shrug and tell him that he'll get used to it. If he pulls that "But they're SCARY!" act, make fun of him for being scared of inanimate objects. A few gentle jabs right in the machismo usually works, and nobody gets hurt.

      General Dating Tip #3: You Are Not Your Doll. If loverman is firmly wigged-out by your doll collection and won't go near them, yet you still like him enough to date, get over it. Negotiate terms whereby you always meet on neutral turf, and nobody even uses the D-Word when you're together. The relationship won't be eternal, because he isn't accepting parts of you-- but obviously he likes the other parts of you enough that the two of you should still be able to have a good time, for awhile. :aheartbea
       
    20. The man I dated knew I loved dolls.....so he married me anyway, I put up with his diecast cars and he puts up with our resin kids.......he actually loves my old Tan Narae as his "daughter" and has even named some of my dolls. We do compromise.......he just wants me to stop getting them now. I do have too many, but I am a addict of resin and proud of it:lol:. IF you see me on Hoarding.....you'll know;)