Did you ever fight with yourself

I have been looking at, wanting, dreaming and wondering about BJD's since ever I saw one...and I think that was some 10 years ago....But totally not sure on that one. Tho it has to be atleased 7 years now. And just the other week I bought my first one! And did I have to battle myself? YES!! Cause it still is a big sum of money to spend on myself when theres bills to pay, children to be taken care of and a husband who has some wishes of his own. And then there is this thing with me and hobbies you see, I have too many of them! I seriously like to try out EVERYTHING I see. I stopped going to exhebitions about handycrafts and things cause I just LOVE creating stuff and I wanted to try everything I saw there!
I want to know how it works, if it works for me.. what I would be able to do with it, if I am able to do make the thing I visualise. So I tried out my fair share of hobbies....bought quit the set of items to go with those hobbies... And half of them ended up never to be used cause I just dont have the time for them all between work, kids and housekeeping.
And now I wanted to buy an expensive toy?! HOW was I supposed to not feel guilty for that?
I had soooo many doubts before I went to get her and even when I was standing there and gave the money to my dolls former owner...I nearly felt an idiot to pay that much money for yet again another new hobby! And was so afraid it wouldnt be what I thought it would be...that I would have to sell her again...
And its not like I didnt put any thought to starting this hobby prior to buying her! But still....
And since then I have her I have been SO busy with her...making clothes, researching what ever is needed to know about her, searching for stuff I need for her, Thinking up new things I want to make for her... Its a hobby with so many faces... I can put at leased 3 but maybe even more former hobby's in to this one!
As it turned out I nearly cried when I finally took her out of her box when we drove back home seems I really wanted her!
Do I feel I finally can justify having bought an expensive doll when I do not have that much money to spend? Sometimes I do...some times I dont. I expect these mixed up feelings will go on for a long time...lay dorment for a while and maybe get worse when I decide I want to buy another doll (erm....Ok I admit I am already thinking about it and looking for ways to save up! But dont tell my husband! )
I feel a little less guilty now that my husband (who thinks the whole thing of grownups playing with dolls is absurd) seems to understand a bit WHY I wanted one...sees how happy I am with her and isnt as grumpy over the whole thing anymore. But I am not sure how he would react to another one

 

I do beat myself up over how much money I have already spent on this hobby. Usually when I want/need to make a more practical purchase such as a sofa or some other large and useful item, but then find myself wincing at the price. It worries me that I am happy to spend not much less on a single doll! I worry that my priorities have become skewed somewhere along the line.

 

At the moment I'm waiting for my first doll.
The first time I was not myself from the idea to give a large sum of money for what I don't know.
But then I decided that I can't know for sure, if not I'll try.
Let's see what will happen next.

 

If I had bought my favourite doll at the beginning of this hobby, I am sure I would have not bought so many dolls. I kick myself over this. Maybe I should just sell my dolls and just keep my fave. I don't know. Looking at getting another doll. What a hopeless position to be in. Stupid dolls.

 

Being a single Mother of two kids and being the cheif earner. I can well understand the delima of spending money. I find I just have to limit my collection, and budget. I started the hobby way back in 2004. Didn't get my first doll until about a year later. Bought the head first, then the body a few months later. I still only have 8 dolls and a few floating heads (Christmas and Summer events). I will be shortly out of work (due to health reasons), so I will not be buying any more dolls for a time. I love the hobby and plan to keep it. But sometimes we just have to slow down. Besides I may only get two more over the years because of shear space limitations in my apartment and the time it takes to maintain them. Everyone has limits, just adapt around them. Besides, its important to spend time, money and effort on you too. Just keep it in balance with lifestyle. Just because some have 100's of dolls doesn't mean you have to follow suit. Sometimes one is all you need, like my daughter. She is happy with her Dreaming El and has no burning need for another. Everyone fancies, but living within one's means and keeping your head is all about succeeding.

 

Oh yes, definitely. Because of the money issue of course, but also whether or not I'll love them when they arrive. When I splurged for my first doll I was freaking out a lot before she arrived but once she go there there were no more worries! I have decided to really look into what I absolutely love before diving in, but I think as long as you put those bills that are a priority first, you can go ahead and dive in!

 

This is actually one of my "hobbies" that I don't fight with myself over. It fufills so many things for me that the amount of money spent just isn't important. For example I've always been interested in photography but never had much encouragement to pursue it until I had my dolls as models. I also write and having physical representations of my characters is invaluable.

I would also say that I am not really a "typical" doll owner if you define loving anime or having a unique style as something that is typical of doll owners. I'm also not into it for the collecting aspect which makes me weird in my own local doll group but in the end it doesn't really matter since it makes me happy

 

Sometimes I wonder if I'm really enjoying my dolls enough to justify the $600 each of them cost, and I do question whether I really should be in this hobby. My big problem is that I don't really know what to do with them - I bought them because I liked them, but now I'm not really utilizing them as much as I'd like to. I'm not into OCs or photostories. I am into photography but there's only so much you can do with an indoor studio and I can't take them outside. It also doesn't help that I can't seem to touch them without messing something up. So they end up sitting there, and I feel like I'm neglecting them. At the same time, I look at the doll I have on the way, and other ones I might want, and I get really excited about them, so I know it's not that I've lost interest.