Do you feel comfortable dealing with DoA's younger members?

The only problem I've had with younger members is, whenever I try to sell a doll in the marketplace here instead of on ebay, I've found younger members are more prone to PMing right away saying "OMG I WANT THIS!!!" and making you think you have a potential buyer, then taking a couple of days to come to the realization that they can't actually afford it.

This is not all younger members, of course, I've had some great dealings with younger members. Both buying and selling... but for the above mentioned problem, I've found they're the ones that do that the most.

 

When I buy and sell to people I never know their age..though sometimes I can tell by they way they write or the name on the paypal. It doesent really bother me unless the younger person has trouble shiping things and dosent inform me of a dely. I tend to be parinoid about things in the mail..other than that age makes no difference.

 

As a younger person on the board ( 16 ) I do my very best to keep a mature look for myself online. I know how some younger people can be very very stupid and not take things seriously - the hobby alone, I think, weeds out most of that from the get-go after one look at the price tags. When I'm buying from someone, I do my best to stay in touch, informed, pay fast, etc. Whatever age you are, I think it's unacceptable to shirk on responsibility when it comes to transactions. That sort of common courtesy should be present at all times if you're going to get involved in transactions. If you can't handle the responsibility of doing things on time, having things in the assured condition, and being prompt to reply, then you are not mature enough to buy or sell.

 

Admittedly, I'm not very old (just turned 20), but I hesitate to deal with people who ACT immaturely. I don't care if you're 13 or hitting menopause, if you don't know how to handle a sales transaction with maturity, then I don't want to deal with you. I know plenty of younger people who are sensible, responsible and level-headed enough to buy and sell online. And I know equally as many "grown ups" I wouldn't deal with if you put a gun to my head. So I really think that chronological age isn't a determining factor for me, more the sense that the person knows what they're doing and handles it responsibly.

 

I'm semi young, but i'm maturing and i've even sold my first doll. I think people who say they cant ship in the day the promise are full of it. I give a date saying i'll ship it by a certain time, and i will MAKE time to ship it. probably helps i don't get out alot though...

Most of the trouble i have with buying/selling is with older people, meeting up or getting together with people is hardest if they're younger (under 30) I personally still like adults more. They come up with better excuses.

EDIT:
I completely agree:

 

They only time I worried about dealing with a younger member was when I was selling a doll, asked her to pay by Paypal, and she told me that she didn't know how to use Paypal and had to go ask her mom for permission.

I generally don't know the exact age of people, so age usually doesn't factor into the deal. The only time I had a problem dealing with a Den of Angel member was Cossette, who has since disappeared from DoA.

 

Of all the people I've met at doll meets, not one of them has acted in a way that I would deem as immature. I've actually been surprised to find out that some of them are 15, or 16 - because they've all acted maturely on the boards. Of course there is silliness, but that's fine and dandy if it's between friends. But no one has acted badly, as I would associate with a child.

As for transactions, every one of them has gone smoothly. I'm not sure of all the ages of the people I've dealt with, and I don't really care, either, as long as they conduct themselves well :3

 

I'm hesitant to reveal my age when buying/selling my dolls and products.
People do not understand that age is not what matters, it's maturity does.

 

A lot of the responses I've read in this thread have touched on the maturity issue, but I think that linakauno put it perfectly. Age doesn't dictacte maturity, but immaturity dictates how you respond to someone.

 

I started out in the BJD world being 17, and Catdancer, hehe Ill tell you getting to the PO is very hard for someone who doesnt drive *nods&points2self Hehe being 18 now I still cant drive and it is hard. However, I respect my buyer and/or seller and will inform him/her if there are any changes in my plan and if there is I will always allow them to know. Its not that we arent responsible, heh, it just really is hard to get to the PO especially during winter times. ( I live not too far from the PO so once spring&summer are here, Ill be okay with walking) I dont think that age has little to do with it, but alas age does have something to do with the whole theory of reliability. I wish I had a paypal.. hehe.. but yes.. umm *scracheshead No CC or BankAccount yet lol. My point?? No matter how old or young, there will always be unreliable people, and really reliable ones. The Feedback Thread is Great

 

I seldom know the age of a person I'm dealing with but I always ask for references & hope that doesn't offend anyone. What I do appreciate is good communication. If you can't get something shipped quickly, that's ok as long as you stay in touch & let me know what's happening. I'm one of the oldest here & often have problems shipping myself as I can't always get to the post office when it's open & other times have health problems but I do try to stay in touch with my buyers.

So it really doesn't depend so much on the age of a person but more on their maturity & willingness to follow through.

 

I for one am not 100% comfortable with it.

I've often thought that under 18 members should have their names in another color or something so that us legal age members can take extra care with them.

I've met and carpooled (me driving) with under-18 members to meets. I love being of assistance... but I know the possibility exists that I'd be TOAST if anything went wrong!!!

I love the idea of having friends of all ages... but yeah. It gives one pause.

It's difficult to be in "custodial adult mode" to those under the legal age... if you don't know you are dealing with a minor.. (for one thing)!

^_^
Raven

 

I hadn't thought of that angle, Ravendolls, but you raise a good point. There *is* an age in most places below which a person cannot legally enter into a binding contract.

*ponder* I'm going to have to roll that one around in my head awhile longer.

In the meantime, it seems to me that, as with most things, common sense is the way to go. Don't offer to buy something you can't afford; if you're selling something, be very clear about condition, time frames for shipping, and so forth; and keep your partner in the transaction up to date.

Common sense is another of those commodities that does not depend upon chronology

 

I'm going to go against the grain a little and say that yes, age is a factor in maturity.

It's not reasonable to expect a 13 year old to behave like a mature adult because they're not a mature adult. It is, however, a perfectly reasonable expectation that a 30 year old would act like a mature adult. Yes, some young people are very mature, and some old people are very immature, and to some extent you have to operate on an individual basis. But if I'm entering into a transaction with a stranger from the internet I'll be much more comfortable if the person is over 18.

Granted, it also depends on the amount of money involved, for me. If I'm buying a $10 skirt from someone and they're 14 I'm not going to care because I don't have much to lose if the transaction goes south. On the other hand, if someone under 18 is running a group order, or doing a faceup and therefore responsible for my $160 doll head, or something like that? Yes, it makes me a little antsy. Part of the issue is also that if a person is under 18 they are probably not using their own bank/paypal account, so the transaction is to some extent at the mercy of whoever's account it is, and they may not have reliable access to transportation.

Basically, for me, if someone is under 18 they have more to prove re: their level of responsibility and their capability to handle transactions than someone over 18 does, I guess.

 

While I think it's nice that you're trying to look out for people, I think this would have far more negative implications than positive.

First off, what are you protecting us from that people of all ages don't need protection from?

Secondly, on a related note, I think having our under-18 status for everyone to see could easily lead to ageism. Clearly not everyone feels comfortable making transactions with "kids" because they think they're "not mature", and clearly that's not the case with everyone and you can't generalize like that. I don't want someone thinking, "I'm not going to buy ____ from this person because I can see that they are under 18."

Third off, in a community where most people make their locations known, doesn't it pose more of a threat for people to have their ages displayed? I'm a mod at a Toronto forum, so there's no way or point for me to not display my location. However, if my age was put up for everyone to see, I certainly would not feel safe, and although I know you mean it to "protect us", I don't know how you intend to protect someone miles away from danger in their own city. Not everyone has the same good intentions and parental insticts as you!

Baakay, you were wondering what I meant when I posted this:

I don't mean to point you out, chibaraki, it was just applicable to something said earlier

 

The only time Problematic situation i've been in was with someone who was not really very mature, but, it had little to do with their age. LOL

I think that there are 15-year-olds who can carry themselves like true, mature adults, and then there are 28-year-olds who carry themselves like they are 2.

I once heard of a little girl who was maybe 10, and she had a BJD. (A volks Megu) Apparantly her father or someone had purchased it for her in Japan, and sent it to her, and her mother said that she treated the doll tenderly, and gently, like a child. As far as i know, she still has the doll to this day, and it's in better condition than some adult BJD collectors keep theirs. LOL

 

I actually think that most of the youngest members of this forum (like myself) can be just as mature as those who are double our ages. I have my own paypal, and I don't understand why some people don't, as all you need is a bank account (and if you don't have a savings account when you're young, I think that's not a good way to prepare for the future).

I definitely wouldn't approve of the 'mark out under 18s' thing, as I quite like being treated like I know how to tie my own shoelaces :P I can see where it is definitely an issue when you need to know someone's age: eg, if you want to RP things that are not suitable for a younger audience, but otherwise, not really.

I personally know my bounds, and know that I would not personally be comfortable shipping anything to anyone outside of the EU, as I have no sodding clue how customs works or postage for that matter. If more people (not just minors) knew their limits, then others wouldn't have to be so worried about this kind of thing.

 

I've been dealing in business by myself since I was 11. Now I'm 18. Since I was little I've had to be my own parent in a way, so ever since I've been dealing online I've known that I have to take responsibility for myself, for my own actions. So, yeah, I agree that it is much more maturity than age. I myself have dealt with people much older than me who are not at all adept at following through with transactions. I have a friend on the board who is about 16 and she's extremely mature for her age. I don't think anyone should jump to judge a doll collector by their age.

 

I don't mind dealing with "younger" members, just immature ones (at any age, mind you! XD).

I'm a teacher so I deal with the youngin's all the time, they freak out when they find out I play video games, watch the same shows they do...and I'm not too much older than the high school students...They still think that's weird!

 

Good post!