Do you feel comfortable dealing with DoA's younger members?

LMAO - this was just funny XD !!
Don't worry though, I'm 24 and if someone is writing messages like this --- 'I iz sellingz do clothz 4 elf ~¬!1' -- I don't care if they have the best feedback ever, I won't bother. And that kind of 'speak' gives me a headache XD!!

 

It's not so much protecting you as it is protecting ourselves. Generally speaking, of course. If I have a meet-up in my home and you attend and get hurt or something, the liability is on me. Your parents could sue the crap out of me. It wouldn't matter whether or not I knew you were underage.

There are a lot of young people out there who keep their ages a secret because they fear ageism or whatever, but they need to take the consequences that action has on others into consideration.

 

As a younger member, you have more to prove. You have to prove that you are mature enough, insead of just being accepted automatically.

 

That I can understand, and it's a very valid point. But do you really need to have a blaring sign so everybody knows you're underage? ^ ^;; Isn't that something a PM, or even just, "Meet-up at my house. If you are under 18, please have proof of parental consent." in the post could solve? Then, even if someone is hiding their age, they're not going to lie because it's private, and you'll find out anyways.

 

You've raised some really cogent points!! I hadn't thought of marketplace predjudice/ageism... but while it might be harder to get started here if people had some way of knowing you were under 18, if you had good feedback already or on ebay (I don't know what their age limit is off-hand), I don't think it would hurt you.... and it might make people on both sides of the 18 mark behave better. Information can't be too bad an idea!

LOL, I don't think of it really as "parental" instincts, that's different... it's just a matter of legality and being a responsible citizen. I think people should know what's what.

I also hadn't thought of someone not feeling/being safe if it were known that they are under 18. As for location... well lots of people don't have that posted anyhow (which I also find annoying). Though I can't imagine how people would find out who/exactly where you were just by having a city or country mentioned.

^_^
Raven

*Edit*

Yes, I was thinking of this kind of thing. >_<

 

Re-reading the thread...

I can totally unsterstand how some older members are uncomfortable with younger ages regardless of maturity - the legalities and then of course, feeling odd for the younger ones. I know at the meetups locally, while I'm the youngest there and everyone is friendly to me, that I feel sometimes awkward for it. I can totally see why a forum full of older ladies ( and gents ) might want a way to identify the younger members.

Of course, there's always the option of personally asking anyone you're dealing with whether they're over 18 or not. I know that I wouldn't withhold that information ^^; If someone did, too, that would be enough reason to stop the transaction right there - trust is a major thing in this hobby and if you can't even tell your age..?

 

lol, ravendolls, I meant more like, "here's the Toronto meet-up thread, and here I can clearly see there will be x number of under 18 (presumably, not always) girls." Not like, "oh hay, she's underage and in Toronto, I'll find her using my magic powers!" XDD;;

I agree with nanlady; anyone who lies about their age or refuses to disclose it in private (when relavant) shouldn't be buying/selling anyways. It's suspicious, for one thing.

 

I think it's a great way to spend sometime with people younger than me and older than me. Younger members have such a fresh perspective - I love it.

Nancy

 

What I hate is having to play cop or teacher or mother or any other authoritarian figure. I don't want to have to be demanding personal info from people. As I said before, we all want to be responsible citizens and watch our step, but it's kind of scary (at least for me!).

That's why I remain in favor of some sort of tag to identify under 18 members.

But yeah... nobody on either side really likes the idea. In an ideal world it wouldn't even matter. ^_^

Raven

 

I don't mind the idea if the physical safety of the younger members weren't at risk - which is honestly impossible. If the younger members could still prove their trustworthiness on the forum and gain respect, what have they got to fear?

If there were some way to guarantee safety it would be fine, but I think that's the major thing stopping it. Who's keeping some creep from joining and inviting certain people to a meetup that he knows he can rob, rape, or otherwise cause damage to, based on the fact that younger people simply don't always have necessary means of protection?

 

The main thing I care about is people's feedback, if they don't have any (like me ) it's the way they deal with pms and all that. I don't really see how old they are, just hasn't crossed my mind before but maybe that's because I haven't bought or sold anything really expensive yet If I did, I guess it would bother me if the other person was under 16. As some people have mentioned, I'd wonder if they really had the money, if they had their parents permission, if they had the means to ship it... But if a person's feedback is good that means that they are responsible and capable of doing good business. That's the main thing and it goes for members of all ages.

 

I admittedly sold things on ebay long before I actually reached the age requirement of 18 (I joined August of 1998, they didn't require a credit card then. I was 15 1/2.) I always did my best to make sure I handled things professionally, which I hold to now (I'm 23.) So I am definately in agreement that as long as the person can show forethought, tact, and maturity, it really doesn't matter what age they are for many things.

However, I do understand that there are legal issues to be had when dealing with a person under the "legal" age line. A friend of mine sold very expensive beanie babies on EBay at the height of the craze, some selling for over $1000. A buyer contested the authenticity of one (although she had had it certified by an expert of some sort) and took her, and due to her age (16) her parents as well to court. (The experts couldn't decide, so the court forced the buyer to return the beanie, and my friend to return the money, so it went back to square one.)

With the meetup problem, if it isn't being held at a residence you own, you can generally disavow yourself of responsibility, as long as you state as such ahead of time. It's like someone going to a McDonalds and tripping on a water slick they walked through, regardless of being surrounded by signs. As long as there is a reasonable amount of care taken, most suits don't hold water. (When I worked at McD's, that exact thing happened. A guy fell flat on his butt and cried lawsuit, despite the fact the "Wet floor caution" signs were everywhere. They offered him a gift cert and he shut up. : )

It would definately be prudent to require signed releases from parents for the underaged, especially if it is at a residence. Most events require it, and the size of the gathering makes no difference. It is a safety net for all involved.


I think that is it for now!

~Anrui

 

My concern is the legal implications of buying/selling to minors. Minors cannot enter into binding contracts, meaning that if they change their mind--or a parent changes it for them--they have no obligation to honor a promise to buy or sell.

Of course, it seems that the transactions here are made on the honor system, and I don't imagine that a seller would turn around and sue because a buyer reneged on an offer to buy a doll But still, I think it is a legitimate issue, and that anyone involved in a transaction has the right to know the age of the person they're dealing with.

 

I agree with anbaachan....the only reason I would be hesitant to deal with someone under 18 is because of the possible legal problems if the transaction didn't go smoothly. I mean if I'm buying a shirt or something of the sort, I don't care what the seller's age is, but I most likely wouldn't buy a doll from someone under 18.

 

Well... It's obvious to a woman of any age that common sense is in order. Go to meets at somebody's house only if you know them, or have meets at a neutral public place like a store or coffeeshop. You don't have to be under 18 to be a target for assault or robbery or whatnot. I don't think the "it would make us unsafe/r" argument holds any water.

Raven

 

Yup. I don't think at all on the ages of people I deal with transaction-wise unless they make it very apparent. More than basing things on age, I will become wary if I am dealing with someone who seems confused about the way transactions work or contacts me in a flighty or oversimplified manner (like receiving an email saying something like, "i want 1 dress can u design and make it for me" and no other information). Of course that could be a language issue or it could just be that the person doesn't deal with the internet much or just thinks very inefficiently. Whatever the reason, I won't write it off, but I will try and find out as soon as possible whether the person is really serious. Some people don't seem to realize that others have limited time for correspondence and waffle around for days before revealing that they're not actually interested. But of course I'd rather complete a transaction or help someone out than not, so i'll stick with it as long as makes it sense to.
Issues that do really relate to mostly younger members often have to do with parents who didn't approve the purchase, weird payment methods or the person not being able to get to the post office to mail something. All disturbances but not deal-breakers (but all things that SHOULD be mentioned in advance by the young person, and they seldom are).
As for disreputable posters for any reason (people called out in the marketplace, people who post in an immature manner, etc), some of them post often enough or distinctly enough that I do remember their names, and I'm also wary of dealing with them if they contact me, but again, I won't write them off immediately.
I'm more interested in people's feedback, but not so much the positive feedback as the negative, since people with tons of positive feedback are still capable of having bad transactions/pulling scams/etc.

 

The only requirements I have in entering a transaction with a person is that the person is considerate, good with communication and follows thru with her/his end of the deal.

 

Level of maturity and your age are completely different. 18 may be the legal adult age, but it doesnt say much about someone's own character. It does make people feel more comfortable knowing that someone is of that age, but it doesnt necessarily prove that they can maturely and professionally deal with a situation involving money.

But [concerning] doa, they are trying to make transactions in the marketplace safer for everyone. New members cant access it right away, whether they are over 18 or not.

 

I'm not saying that this applies to everyone, but in my opinion, most people mature as they grow older. It's quite impossible to say that we expect the majority of 12 year olds to be grown up and matured. We don't hold a 13 year old accountable for a lot of the things they do, not as much as we will hold a 25 year old. We don't usually expect a 14 year old to make adult decisions, and some of that is because of maturity and experience that often comes with age.

That said, I have met and talked with adults whose level of maturity made me want to send them back to preschool. However, the problems concerning the immaturity of young people are different from that of the older people. When an older person is being immatured, we can respond quite negatively and appropriately. People who are underaged can't always be held accountable for what they do. The other problems are:

Not all youngsters disclose their purchase to their parents (there is a thread here I believe about 'have you hid a doll from your parents' and I think there was plenty response). Parents aren't always going to react positively if they do find out and the sales transaction can be affected. You have to be of a certain age to drive, which can make selling more difficult. And while I'm positive not all underage people have this problem, but less experience can also lead to situations where they are pressured into a transaction or are outright scammed.

All these are definitely not to insult all minors here, it's just a reality for some of those who are underage. We were all minors once (myself, not so long ago) so we've all been through this. And those who are younger will grow up and experience some of this as well.

Now that I've lectured enough, I will say that there are many young people on DoA who carry themselves with maturity and responsibility. But I can also understand why people can be a little bit wary when it comes to things like sales transactions and meet ups at their houses.