Do you feel that ABJD's compensate for something you don't have IRL?

Well, this was an interesting thread! I love reading all the different answers.

Do you feel that you 'and/or' others around you are using ABJD's to compensate for something you lack in your life?

Though I don't own a doll yet, I know what to answer to this. And the answer is... no. I think. Mostly. They don't "compensate" for anything. My doll is just going to enrich my life little bit.

I can say why I like them; they're pretty. Beautiful. Like faeries, elves, vampires. I really love beautiful things and I like to have them around me, and I like pottering about with things and have little projects to work with... plus, I write a lot and make up characters and stories, draw, paint and simply use my imagination a lot... and it seems to me like a doll can enrich all that. A beautiful little person who can sort of be the physical expression of a character I've made up, looking pretty and giving me something to smile at, to potter about with, making clothes and jewellry for. So mainly it will be a hobby, but it won't compensate for anything. I played a lot with Barbies when I was younger, so I don't have a lost childhood that I want to "claim back" through the doll. Perhaps it's more like this doll will let me be a child again and play once more, but in a different way - now I will design and make clothes and such instead of sitting on the floor and playing with him, like I would have done when I was 8...

 

I think I replied to this earlier.. I said no, but I really do think they do compensate for something for me.

I don't know how to explain it much, they keep me company when I really need it!

 

I have to say it dose ... it's a little strange even to me why I would want such a doll but I am a collector of many different things.... but it is filling a place in my life thats empty. I have not even finished the doll yet so far just a head of chii but thats where this is going

 

well for me i always loved dolls and i had a very modest doll collection very few to be honest but sadly enough when my brother got sick and was in the hospital and then passed away my doll collection got considerably big compared to what it was i have more than dobble.
i guess it was the only thing that i could do i cant explain but i think iwas definitely trying to fill something in real life i dont know maybe. im still trying to figure it out

 

Hahaha YES! Thats totally what I was thinking.

Its going to be a "no" for me as well. If I ever found myself making my "dream boyfriend" out of a doll I would realize I had a serious problem on my hands.
I just enjoy pretty things and thats why I collect dolls, my last collection of pretty things is hundreds of dollars worth of highheeled shoes sitting in boxes in my closet. Who knows, maybe BJDs will soon follow...

 

I think for me it is being able to sew those clothes for the doll that i could not sew for me, nor have the time to make in full size. also my doll is my friend. at times i have been known to talk to her. i talk to my dog too. hmmm. i love sewing and knitting for them. my AOD MoLan 23 inch tall just does not seem 'bendy' enough but she is lovely. My new goodreau rumor is just bendy enough and good sized to sew for at 16 inches. I love to watch the shows like project runway too and really love the designing of the clothing.

 

There is a saying in writing circles that sometimes you can tell more truth through fiction than you can with non-fiction. It is sometimes safer to "fictionalize" feelings in our modern society...those secret emotions we keep bottled up inside but feel very strongly none-the-less. These very real ideas and emotions can easily find a fertile home in BJDs, thereby giving us a creative outlet for expressing them. Expressing our inner stories, our personal poetry, our own artistic view of our world through a BJD is a very healthy thing.

Think, for instance, of a teenage girl who is not the idealized media image of a beauty queen. She creates a beautiful doll, pretty enough to rival any media image. Now, it might be said that she wanted beauty to look at in her home to compensate for what she lacks. But I believe often times it is far more wonderous than that. I believe she has created a mirror, a reflection of her own inner beauty for the world to see.

It is not uncommon, I believe, for our dolls to bring out something of ourselves...whether it be the need of a silent and non-judgemental friend, the need to be surrounded by beauty in a difficult world, or the desire to explore some romantic curiosity or darker reality. Dolls will listen and never roll their eyes when they've heard enough. Dolls will readily face something you yourself cannot, and thereby make it less frightening. Dolls will wear layers and layers of historic costuming without complaint! Dolls will never tell your secrets to the world. And dolls will give you an excuse to come on DoA...to learn things you've never even dreamed of, to look at other people's beautiful and fascinating dolls, and to read the uniquely wonderful views of people from all over the world.

 

I've been sick for verging on 5 years now, and I never really learned how to handle people in the real world; the normal things that teenagers do, I never learnt. Stick inside a cold house under a blanket hiding from the world. I'm almost 20 and I have no one, no friends who come by to say hello, just me and my dad.

My dolls seem to be making up for my loneliness. I know they're not real, I don't talk to them like they're alive. In a way, they're practise for later when I'm not sick and I can actually talk to someone real without wanting to run. Being based loosely on a game that holds a strong sentimental part in my life, they're there when I want to cry unconsciously forcing me to remember. Their likeness staring back at me makes me smile and reminds me of a time when I was a child, when I feel like I'm 100. Or a simple reminder when I forgot I had a childhood at all.

Stupid really, but thats how it is.

 

My dolls compensate for my my age in a variety of ways. They can wear all of the latest stylish clothing that wouldn't look good on me. They remind me of myself at that age. They also provide some of what it was like to grow up with 3 younger sisters, though they are much more relaxing!

Carolyn

 

So, so true. Dolls really can be this wonderfully versatile creative outlet... the embodiment of what's really inside. I'm sure that even though I tend to either dress like a 30-year-old lady or like a 5-year-old hyperactive child, I'm sure my first doll will end up looking like an 80's punk...xDD I should keep using this argument to get my dad's support. xD

This almost made me cry... I am so, so glad that these little dolls are helping you so much as you go through this tough time in life... Keep holding on girl!

 

I can't speak for anyone else, but in my case BJDs are a kind of compensation and therapy. I grew up in some pretty horrific situations and I don't have good models on either appropriate parental behavior or appropriate expectations of a kid. For an example when I was a little child I would act out some very horrible abuse on dolls, simply because it was all I knew.

So here I am, in my twenties, married, emotionally stunted and attempting to break the generational cycle.

When I first saw the more-childish bodies of Volks dolls, there was kind of an ache in me. They were kids. Kids on the verge of growing up into adults, but they were in a period of life that had really, been denied me. I got one to indulge myself, really, nothing more than a pure "I want" luxury. But then I started feeling protective. A lot of the thwarted instincts I had, I could safely express to my doll (and in a similar way, to animals.)

I go to talk therapy twice a week, and my therapist noted my interest in BJDs, so I brought Tomoe-chan over one visit. I told her about the hobby, about faceups and modification and sanding seams, and she told me that it was kind of like taking care of a child, and she encourages me to stay in the hobby as long as I'm fiscally sensible.

So yeah, in some senses my love for childish-looking 60cm BJDs is because they ... they look like kids, and in fussing over them I can learn to safely love myself and love others.

The strange thing is I don't believe my doll has a soul. I do treat her like the embodiment of an imaginary friend - I have a habit of talking to myself or to imaginary friends who aren't there when I'm alone at home - but ultimately I do know she's a doll. A very dear, charming one with a lot of sentimental attachment, but still a doll.

- Mel

 

I think im doing alright in the looks area, but she does live my dreams sometimes. Miyumi, a pyro maniac, like myself burns whatever she wants XD. Me being a good girl cannot burn what i want. She wears what i think is cool and has a rebelious character that i myself would carry out if i wasnt so damn busy somtimesXD

 

Okay,this is a very straight up pst but i make no apology it just is,
I had looked at dolls previously and admired the artistry and expression in adding personal touches, some certainly touched some emotion in me but in the last two years i had some traumatic things happen. I have always looked i stepped out of a long past era and complimented very much on the looks front but my confidence was knocked sideways and somehow my first dolls have helped heal and ring back back some former love of life,agh its hard to express this
In the last two years I lost a baby,My former fiance and much loved one killed himself and i feared for my sanity! Well i just want to say that these beautiful dolls have helped me come back from the brink so that is pretty special
x The circus freak

 

oh dear,my typo's are awful,please ignore this because my heart is pur, promise:-)

 

This is a hard one to call for me there are quite a number of reasons

I suppose my dolls characters originally came from me and my boyfriend and the situation we had with our parents about our relationship(yes I know it's wrong to base dolls on people but they've become their own characters I just based it on the situation mainly and the characters story is quite different to ours I mean I'm not undead for one thing and as far as I know my boyfriend isnt a rencarnation of his former self.) I suppose in that sense (though I only have one of the pair at the moment) the characters almost represent the fact that we're together in some way thought no physically if anything.

Also my other character I suppose makes up for the fact that I'm not a sexy vampire girl who can kick ass

Another part I suppose is the fashion I normally can't afford the fashions I like my dolls to have or am not brave enough to wear some fashions I see for fear people might stare and think I'm weird

Plus I've seen my dolls as a physical form of my characters as I'm sure most people do but as I believe my art is not as good as many peoples and the dolls have captured the characters in a way I could never draw them so it makes me feel better knowing I can show the characters in their full potential rather than my really bad drawings of how they are in my head.

A final reason which I think is a bit of a bad reason seeing as I'm only 17 and I dont think they should be seen for this reason is that in a strange way they're like my children seeing as I'm too young to have a real one myself they give me some comfort in that aspect too.

 

yeah, im 17 too and its kinda the same thing too. its not how i planned it; tbh i thought all that 'motherly' stuff was a load of rubbish, but i do find myself caring for my girls as if theyre my kids, and i dont like 'exposing' them to people. i feel kind of like they rely on me

i do want kids in the future, so it probably has something to do with that. so in that sense they are compensating for something i dont have.

 

For both you and Datsuki, I believe this is simply the manifestation of the inborn nurturing quality you are fortunate enough to posess. Especially at your tender age, it is quite natural to express it in the safe realm of BJDs. It probably is just an indication that one day, when you are completely ready and old enough to make that monumental decision, you will make a most excellent mum. Take it from a life-long nurturer.

 

Every so often I wonder if I'm collecting dolls to fill the void of socialness. I live in a place where there isn't anyone for me to interact with-- unless I wait 'til the weekend, but even then I have to cross my fingers.

So Fuyu is that person that's always there, someone to complain too, stuff like that. I try not to get too attached that way, I'm actually scared to become too attached to him.

My next doll, Deskri, will be my need to give a "body" to a character of mine I absolutely adore. So his "purpose" may be different from Fuyu's, Fuyu didn't come with a character. I made it up when he got here. XD; Still, I may just be using them as replacements for friends in a place where I can't find any.

 

If the characters one creates are all villains/somewhat dark characters, even if they aren't your originals- only ones you like- is that compensating for something too? I wouldn't exactly say I'd be 'friends' with Jonathan Crane or Mr. Teatime or one of many other characters I've had thoughts of doing a doll of, or that they're sides of me I've neglected... so what are *they* reflecting?

 

"Do you feel that ABJD's compensate for something you don't have in IRL?"

Both yes and no.

Yes -> Real life sexy male models! XD; I'm an artist and unlike many artistic (?) people here who has posted, the dolls do not replace my drawing abilities, rather they exist for me to improve my drawing skills. In some ways, the dolls are reference tools for me. They're replacing the small wooden figurine that I use for drawing. Just recently, I noticed that they're good references for light and shadow as well! :3

No -> As I become more absorbed in the hobby, I realized the creative potential of these dolls. So in some ways, they are an outlet of my creativity. I like fashion, photography, and painting. BJD pretty much gives me what I'd like to do in one big nutshell which is great. But they don't compensate for something that I myself personally lack, rather they become an extension of something I have. Not only that, they're aesthetically beautiful and very inspiring which makes me attracted to them, but that doesn't mean I want to be like them. After all, they are dolls and dolls are meant to be enjoyed and I know that I am certainly enjoying my dolls.