Do you feel that ABJD's compensate for something you don't have IRL?

Being that I will soon be an adult I think I am compensating for not being a child anymore...for growing up...peter pan syndrome i think they call it.

 

When I was in Junior High/ High School I used to Role Play obsessively in the Yahoo chat rooms. For me, it was a way to escape the angst and pressure of my awkward teen years, and also to explore fantasies and character that I would never experience or meet. Now that I am older and don't really have time for RP anymore I see these dolls as a way to continue to fantasize, if only for a brief time during the day.

It also gives me something to love. I'm only 21 but I've wanted to be a mom since I was 10. I've always been a very maternal person, but know that I want to wait until I can afford to raise a child to have one. These dolls give me something human-like and seemingly soulful to focus on, love and spoil until the day arrives where I can have a living-breathing replica o myself to love.


haha, thats what I think

 

Dolls are an escape. I can become obsessed. Yes, they can help me through a day or help me to fall asleep at night. Dreaming of the next doll, an item to get, or things doll related.

 

Hmm. I love that you brought this up.
I bought my first and only doll as an extension to my younger self. When I was younger I had an extremely low self-esteem and people called me ugly but now that I'm older I realize that I am lucky to be so pretty and doll like on my own but I bought the doll with the intention of restoring that little girl in me that had an awful childhood. Before getting into BJD's I had the fantasy of meeting the younger me and holding her and telling her that everything was going to be ok and that she is beautiful and talented. I didn't have that as a child so I want to give my doll the best. I bought her because of the similiar face shape and size I wanted. So in a way it is compensating for something I didn't have but not in search for beauty but a loving parent. I can't wait for my DIM Odelia to arrive. I haven't even gotten her yet. But I also like making clothes. She isn't my daughter but she is a little me. Hope I'm not too weird...

 

I completely believe that getting my doll (I haven't even gotten her yet, hah!) is compensation for something. I also like to RP, but what I really love is to write. I really like making characters, but the problem is, I have trouble coming up with plots for stories I try to write, so I barely ever get around to finishing anything u.u Having Ramla will (I hope) at least be concrete proof that I CAN make characters.

And I do consider myself to have quite high self-esteem, but the dolls are of course prettier than I am .-. I was debating getting a boy doll (because I also usually go for male characters in RPs and as the viewpoint characters in my stories) but I thought there was more potential for that particular character to be a doll (at least my first one) than the boy I was thinking of.

The only big obstacle based on my girl doll is that I'll have to dye her brown to be 'right' to me... ^_^;;

 

for me it is not compensation to have or colleckt dolls.
but I do think doll(s) make me feel less lonely sometimes.
I have a lot of friends and a sweet boyfriend.
but I only see them in the weekends.
if I get lonely in the week I grab my Ophelia and go play with her.

 

Well, in our case its really (I think) the loss of a sister (fiancee for Darren) and neice (daughter). In the main anyway.

Yuko.

 

This is a very interesting thread. For me, they compensate for a level of control I don't have over my own body on various levels...one of which (though not the only one) is that I have a phobia of human touch and I don't have to worry about that with inanimate objects. It's comfort and companionship that I can't experience with other real people.

 

...

Prophet compensates for me still not having met Kyo yet. *cries.*

 

personally, I would say No. I am happy with the way I look, and I don't compare myself to a doll. That said, if I was unhappy with my appearance, say my hair for example, I would get my hair done, not buy a wig for cherry. Same for make-up, clothes etc.

I just think she is nice to look at and fun fun fun! as a doll, nothing more. she doesn't replace my friends, family, fiance or even my pets, because she can't love me back anyway.

 

I think I would say no as well. I do not think what I do is compensating. However, I was first turned on to getting a doll because of the endless possibilities I could do with it that I can't do for myself.

For example, I would absolutely LOVE to cut and dye my hair pink or other non-earthly colors, have tattoos, dress lolita, then goth, then in a sailor fuku, etc. But the reality is, I can't do those things because of my family, my indecision, where I am in my life now and where I plan to go.

So, I don't even know if I would call it living through the doll for me, but maybe just expressing my creativity in a way I would like to, in a way I know I can safely, less expensively (its more expensive to make human-sized clothes and dye human hair, etc.), and without any regrets or repercussions.

 

Although i have yet to buy one the attraction for me its a mix of comfort and the ability to express myself in ways i otherwise could not.
Im not petite or pretty so when it comes to, for example, getting a hair cut because my hair is getting ratty i put it off for as long as i can because i see it as a waste of money.

So a bjd is appealing to me because i can modify them to the way i want, making them pretty and such. Also its a nice thought having something that i can confide in that doesnt expect anything from me in return

 

• Do you feel that you 'and/or' others around you are using ABJD's to compensate for something you lack in your life?

I suppose. I'm not Grace Kelly Either, nor Kim Novak. But I am creative in that I crochet and write and I love to tell stories. My kids allow me to use them as 3-dimensional art for my writing. They tell me their story, I write it, they illustrate it. And no, I'm not insane nor do I channel.

I was sucked into this hobby kicking and screaming in protest, so I can't say it was a life long love; more a sudden infatuation that has not ended. With just a little wig and clothing change my Lishe becomes someone else. It's fascinating. I am personally, as an interest, nearly obcessed by the early 20th century Europe, just prior to the First World War. My kids are from Wales and I've inserted them into that time period. Which lets me do unabashed research. {Nope, can't get rid of my old Librarian roots no matter what}

I suppose having them allows me to live vicariously, but I wouldn't really say that either. For my writing, they are the illustration and inspiration both. For my fascination with them.... I have no idea. haha

But at no time with these two, or the one in the planning stages (Why Mr. Dollshe, why?!?!?) have I put myself into their "skin". That might be a bit hard. Nor do I wish I were them. Now, maybe wishing I was in Wales, yeah, that I could see.

I guess the best explanation I could give would be that my BJD's enable in a positive way, but at no time do they compensate for something I don't have, since I never played with dolls as a kid unless dragged off to a neighbor's house. :P

 

May I in fact say that I am in utter awe of you? First of all, you research. Which makes me admire you greatly. (Oh, and the part about liking Wales.) Secondly, your era of choice. Sorry if this is off topic, but I had to say it.


I don't think I'm actually projecting myself on would be dolls. They make up for it- like an artist with mousy blonde or very dark hair painting a lot of redheads or something- but I couldn't live vicariously through something. It'd make me feel dishonest, like I was using my own independent minded child to live out my own unfulfilled dreams.

 

Not really. Well one of my girls is a character that I kinda based on me, but cooler and prettier. Other then her, my dolls are just because I love them. I wanted a Sora of my very own, so I got one. Why? So I can fangirl over a physical manifestation of him anytime I want. Same for my other dolls (and future dolls)

 

Not really. I like them because they are lovely and whimsical and sweet, but they are not "pretty like I wish I was," or "something that I can imagine loves me." I have a lot of friends, an amazingly lovely husband and a busy life, so sometimes they have to make do without me for a week or two, then when I have time, they are fun to work with to design their look or their tiny house. I enjoy doing crafty things for/around them like making the jewelry, and imagining their characters, but I also write and imagine characters that way or work on other arts like paper crafts, so they fit well within a range of many types of creativity I indulge in. I never really liked dolls as a girl, and the ones I have now I tend to be picky about whether they meet my aesthetic of something beautiful or charming. If they fit a need, it's mostly the same need I fill with my various other types of creative work or play, something to challenge my mind and inspire a range of ideas to create.

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Am I compensating? Oh heck yes!

The last time I moved, I left behind a huge extended family of siblings and aunts and uncles and cousins, and now most of us are separated by thousands of miles, in different countries.

Now it is just me and my partner. When we found out that we couldn't have children of our own, it was heartbreaking. He is terribly allergic so we cannot even keep pets. It's very lonely now, you know?

So I started writing stories, and losing myself in the characters and plots, and it helps the loneliness a bit. It is an escape, and the stories give me hope and remind me to keep going. And the dolls are based on my story characters and very much an extension of that.

I don't think that it is a bad thing. Many beautiful things are created out of sadness, you know?

 

Interesting... I've been looking at this topic heading for days and mulling it over. My first thought (silly, as usual) was "heck yes... they compensate for the SANITY I don't have in real life!" Actually, to a certain extent that's true, as I've struggled against clinical depression most of my adult life.

But then I started thinking about it seriously. They partially compensate for my being in a workplace that devalues every breath I take, and which I cannot afford to leave (after so long in this position I have tenure and would have to take a massive pay cut to go anywhere else... and with kids to care for I can't do that). It's an amazing thing to be surrounded - literally -- by little resin friends who make no demands or judgments and just take me as-is

More important, though, the dolls and the hobby in general make up for a lack of friends where I live. I live in a a town where, as a very general statement, the people have worldviews that clash wildly with my own. I have many really lovely acquaintances here, but only one person I would consider a real friend, as in getting close to intellectually and spiritually. It's difficult beyond reason to have lived nearly 15 years in a place and time where every value you hold dear labels you as out-of-touch, absurd, and in some cases evil. (ok, I'll say it... I'm a closer-to-middle-of-the-road liberal in an ultra-conservative town. It sux.)

This hobby not only gives me a herd of little resin friends... but puts me in touch with people who I really, really enjoy and some who are among the most cherished friends I've ever had. Who, even when they disagree with me, will say so, knowing that we may whine and cheese and steam and fume at each other for a day but will then be back to normal shortly.

"Many beautiful things are created out of sadness." Amen. My resin horde (and its associated friendships) is a beautiful thing created in part from a very deep pool of sadness. I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

No - they do not compensate for anything missing in my life.. they add joy to my life..

 

that's a very good point. a doll could be a companion, a trusted friend, and an outlet for creativity without using it to compensate for anything.