Do you feel that ABJD's compensate for something you don't have IRL?

I think this is a really good theme to set up for debate here and I would like to give my comment too.

I think my collecting dolls is a combination of two things.

1. as a child we were really poor in my family and there was really never money for the things I dreamt about owning. I am making up for that now when I am grown up and make my own money. nobody to restrict me from buying a doll i want instead of spending them on expensive food. I'd rather eat cheap food and buy a doll, if you know what I mean.

2. the other thing is that I have never been pretty, i was mocked a lot at school and my self confidence therefore low. With these dolls and the possibilities there are in them to create them as the one beaty after the other, makes me feel good inside and through making a doll look beautiful, i feel my self esteem and self confidence rise.

My dolls do have personalities. And I think they originate from "who i wanted to be" if i had had the option to chose myself...

- Karina

 

I compensate for the fact I have yet to meet a hot vampire with the ultimate vampire angst.. who happens to be outrageously good looking.
Among other things.

 

Hmm...an interesting topic. If I tried to address the whole thing I'd be sitting here for hours describing exactly how I felt about BJDs, so for now I'll stick with the appearance portion of the question.

First, a quick summary of my appearance. I'm short and overweight and although I'm not conventionally good-looking, every morning I look in the mirror and see a beautiful young woman. I know very few others are likely to feel the same way about me, but I think I am very pretty.

Having said that, there are some things I wish I could do about my appearance. I wish I could get up everyday and do my hair and makeup, put on pretty dresses and heels and carry around cute little purses. Unfortunately, I have to live with wearing jeans and t-shirts and carrying a backpack.

But with a doll, I can control his/her appearance. Their clothing and their makeup are up to me and I can modify them as I wish. So perhaps, having these dolls, I can fulfill a need in myself to control outward appearances, even though I think I'm beautiful.

(I'm not saying this is the only reason I like BJDs, or even an actual reason. I'm just musing.)

 

I think I'm lacking something before I got my frist BJD.
May be it's because I want BJD so much. I'm lacking of them...

 

I've always had a wicked imagination. I love drawing, but while I've been drawing for 8+ years, I'm not a GREAT artist. I've been writing and roleplaying for 8+ years and I am proud that I'm an excellent roleplayer and I can write good stories when I get down to it. But I get tired of simply imagining things and having to write down everything.

My bois are a creative outlet for me so that I can physically touch and set to work my imagination. They are beautiful, they wear clothes that I could never squeeze into, and they're precious to me. I know they are dolls. I do not need them to live on, even if it hurts a little to say that, because I'm very fond of them.

If they do make up a lack of anything in my life, it would have to be...dependence. No one depends on me. I'm trust worthy, I'm told. I'm responsible, I'm told. But I'm /only/ 17 years old and thus, despite the fact I'm treated like an adult...I'm really not. My bois depend on me. It's not a power trip, no definitely not - I've never been able to understand why people go on powercrazes (I'm too lazy).

I kind of look at it as almost a training for parenthood at times. I know they aren't really like actual babies, my god do I know that! What I'm saying is, it takes patience & gentleness to deal with them. Patience for when their ASDF@#ASDF bows won't tie on right and their !#@$@#$@ wigs won't stay ON. And helps me with being gentle with fragile things, no matter how sturdy they look.

I will never be surprised that is not the case with everyone, but it is with me and that's just how things are.

 

I've heard people say they think I collect bjds because I can't have children, might be it...I never thought of it that way. I feel I can express my creativity through them! ^^

 

I suppose the reason why I'm getting my Sha is to have someone there next to me just to be there next to me. Someone who won't ask me questions that I can't answer and someone that I can just look at and pet for comfort who won't run away.... Life is hectic, everyone knows that. I'm a good girl, just walking down a poor road... I need someone or something to keep my mind off of that depression and make me smile again. These dolls do this for me. I get so excited that I start squealing and grinning ear to ear until I get red. It's a been a while since I've been so excited for an extended time without dreading something at the same time about it. These dolls are to distract me from the reality that has slowly killed my spirit. (Oh god that sounds so emo XD Seriously I'm generally not like that, but it's a more private side of me that I don't like to show or admit, but I feel like this place might be a little more forgiving and accepting, so I'm not so afraid to share.)

 

for some reason i had people in my head since i was in the 7th grade.
>_> now those people are dollies! =D
whoooo!!

 

The main reason I got Haidee is to help with the healing process. Last year, during the holidays, I went through a bad breakup and found myself alone. I still had love, affections, etc, but no one to give them to. Then by chance I found someone's BJD profile on myspace that got me interested. So I went to ebay and found Haidee. There she was, a smiling face but lonely and with sad eyes, sort of looking how I felt. I was the only bidder and found my new friend.

I guess for me I came to a point where I reflected on everything and saw how I've had lots of friends that have come and gone in life, and people who said they would care forever only to turn and walk away. I also am an only child and have a small family so the constant connection of family is not always there for me either. Haidee has sort of become something I can give my love to. I know she will be here when I need her. Sure she is just a resin doll, not alive, etc.. but to me Haidee is something physical that I can see and hold and care for.

It may sound kinda sad to some that someone puts such feelings into a doll but it has had some positive side effects. I was able to move on after last year's mess, I've regained a positive attitude about myself, Haidee has given me a way to express my artistic side too through photography, storytelling, and RPing, because of this new hobby I have been able to meet and make new friends, and because of all this I'm a lot more confident and emotionally stronger than I was before.

Anyhow, sorry for being long-winded.. lots to say about it though and I couldn't think of another way to say it without writing a book.

 

Don't feel strange or silly about these things, because I think I can relate on a certain level with you. I have my boy friend, but his time is taken up by work and by his friends so rarely get to spend time with him and after my best friend left me I feel like the only friend I really have left is him and that I'm being abandoned by him too. We've been going through troubles because of this on going thought from me and I think I really just need a friend, something I can care for without thinking am I annoying them? I may not be an only child, but I feel like one just for the fact that my family is very distant from me and I have become the black sheep. (I'm betting they'll all think I'm crazy for this hobby too ^^;

 

I'm not sure what exactly I'm searching for. Inspiration, motivation... Something that's mine, mine alone. Maybe a release from paranoia (not sure how that's going to work out).

Most of all, I think I'm trying to find a foot in the door to friendships. I'm not a loner, of course, I know lots of people. But in the past few years my group of close friends, the kind you hang out with at lunch time, or go out on weekends with, has dwindled drastically. I have one person now that I can do those things with, and it's not that I am particularly upset about that, I love her (she's my girlfriend). I've known her for six years, and I can open up to her (usually). She knows me.

I have a lot of difficulty opening up to anyone. I feel like I don't have anything in common with the people around me even though I want to be included. I'm a praise-seeker, and I crave attention, but I don't step forward to get it. I'll be the one sitting off to the side, watching the conversation progress, constantly thinking of things to say, but not speaking. Maybe somehow this will help me bridge the gap and open up a little.

(I hope I don't sound desperate. This was rather difficult to write.)

 

Kind of. Though I don't exactly have a BJD yet, I plan to dress it in the clothes I want to wear... but haven't dared to wear out, or deck him/her out in the styles that I wanna try... but don't have the look for.

 

I think in a way, yes, my doll will compensate for something I don't have in real life.. Something constant. My world right now, and for the past few years, haven't been under my control at all. I've made friends, lost friends, found loves, lost loves, been homeless, had a roof over my head, you name it, it happened.

Right now, I'm working nights (which are so hard) in a job I hate, because of scheduling issues with my boyfriend and school. I don't get to see him much, let alone do things with him, and I've been feeling so horrifically depressed.

Then I found these dolls, and I realized that part of my depression is that I don't have something consistant in my life right now. Everything is so topsy-turvy, that I don't even know if I have ground to stand on. But my girl will give me that. I know she'll be there. I KNOW she'll be there, and that helps me cope. If I'm having a particularly crappy night at work, I can look over to the shelving unit next to me, and smile at her, and she will look at me as if to say "It's alright. Only a few more hours and we can go home.."

I need that right now. My doll will give me that. I don't know if it's so much of a compensation as more of a driving force, really.

 

I was quite a tomboy when growing up, and did not have many dolls when i was a kid, and I think having dolls now is to compensate my 'lost dolly' childhood.

 

They doesn't bother me and never interrupt me. This silence is what I need IRL sometimes.

 

Indigo, I think that this story is very sweet. I was touched when I read it.

I bought mine for many reasons. I did it because I think BJD's are beautiful, and I wanted to have my own. I wanted something to dress up and have fun with. I love miniatures, so being able to dress up what could basically be considered a mini human being seemed like it would be fun for me. And obviously I did it because I loved him when I saw him. But it was more than that.

For years I've had trouble opening up to people. When I was 10, my mom married a guy who was a jerk, and continued to be a jerk for 10 years. He always created an air of uncomfortableness for me, and he never wanted me in the house. So when it was nice out, I would spend all day back in the little woods behind my house. My conversations took place with trees back then. So ever since then, I've had trouble being open with people, just because I spent so long feeling like I couldn't. Back then, I was taught that nature and God's spark of life within nature was my friend, and people might not always be. It's not that I thought that way because when I talked to the trees they couldn't respond to argue or tell me I was wrong. It just felt like they were listening, and though I didn't hear a reply, I felt it sometimes. The silence felt peaceful, it felt accepting and nurturing.

I love people, but I got a doll because sometimes people have quarrels. Sometimes people just don't get along, and on lonely nights when a boyfriend hangs up on me, or a friend is mad at me, or things just haven't been going the right way at all, it would feel good to have a little beautiful friend with sweet eyes to hold when I'm upset.

This all might be a little weird, but I've always personified and bonded with objects. And in a way, I've always felt like once you personify something it has your energy, because that is a power that humans have, and that object is a little bit alive.

 

................

 

I believe, for myself, I am a compulsive person and when I see pretty things and cool things, I want them! I have always loved dolls, way back to being a child with my barbies. I am drawn to the male dolls more than the female, I think because as a child I always had girl dolls. Male dolls are a novelty!

 

...I'm never sure if I am compensating for something or not with dolls...

I guess in a way, how I tend to draw and create characters is my compensation for the fact I don't actually talk to people and I'm kind of shy altogether. I always feel a need to surround myself with things that won't insult me (stuffed animals, dolls, figures, drawings, imaginary characters). I've always been bullied in school so I have a really pessimistic/paranoid worldview. 90% of people I don't know are enemies waiting to happen...

So I guess the doll is just kind of another type of thing I can feel attached to without fear of them not liking me or treating me badly.

Though some of my friends joke that I have penis envy. I think boys have it better. I only want to get boy dolls... unless I have so much extra money that I will feel compelled to buy dolls for the few female characters I have...

 

I like to randomly buy expensive things, and as shallow as that is
I hadn't bought an expensive thing in quite awhile. I'm just a student with a part-time job with an interest the BJDs. I don't think Imogene really replaces anything within myself, but I think I need her for my indulgences. She's really the last big thing I'll be able to have to myself before I move out.

I'm glad I bought her, though, she's opened my eyes to a whole other community. You guys n_n