Do you feel that ABJD's compensate for something you don't have IRL?

I don't know about other people but I do think that my bjd compensate for something I don't have IRL. I need a model that will pose for me at anytime I want(2 am is a good time) without having to bother others! XD

Also it's kind of like you said about the childhood. My dolls have a very different lifestyle, childhood, likes, and dislikes, than I do but they always have a happy ending and they are, if they were living being, someone I would love to be around.
My childhood kind of suck, it's not as bad as it could be but it does suck. I Know I went through some things that no child should experience. My past make me think that human being are vile creature, ruled by corruption, and I'm no exception. But my bjd help me overlook those thoughts, not forget it, they just help me keep dreaming. =) I know that life can be tough and the world can be cruel but there are beautiful things in it too, whether it's a special someone, a place, a certain emotion, memories or even an object.

My bjd are constant reminder that there are Silver-Lining in life too! I just need to keep looking!

 

Do you feel that ABJD's compensate for something you don't have IRL?

My first thought was wondering if my interest in BJDs were a sort of misguided maternal instinct, but I think my cat satisfies that urge for me. ^^; I do feel rather protective of my doll though and I like to make sure to take care of her so it's possible!

 

I like BJDs because they are beautiful and overall a lot of fun . But, I have always been interested in dolls as an adult, and I am pretty sure that the reason is partly because I only had one doll as a child and always wished for more. So, I suppose I am compensating for lack of toys when I was young. That, and I had a pretty stressful childhood, so having toys around lets me relax and feel like a kid again.

 

I had a bit of a stuffed up childhood and was quite deprived so I've always known that some of the joy I have gotten out of collecting teddy bears, 12" dolls, porcelain dolls and now BJD's has come from that area. Yes, my house is slowly being overtaken by toys but I'm having fun with it and my family doesn't mind (hubby's got his own toys anyway) so I'm going for it. Yay for second childhoods!

 

I tend to like when dolls are rebellious and gothic. Probably because I've always been a goody two shoes. lol Actually, I tend to make them the opposite of myself. They are so much more fun that way. lol

 

Yes... because isn't that what hobbies are for? Enriching our lives in ways that divert from our normal day to day humdrum?

For me personally, I can look at a few different "angles"...

1) Childhood - its a piece of my childhood that I can pick up and put down when I need/want to... ad I can always glance at it on a Shelf when I need a smile.

2) Beauty - I have NOOOO illusions about how I look... but I am okay with that.... that being said, its nice to have "someone" I can dress up and pose how ever I like ( HA! if only it were that easy... we all know Shaylin rules the Doll Haus ) and who will never know the horrors of waxing. *shudder*

3) Parenthood - Not going to even TRY to argue that one... *looks at 11cm OT boy she just got as an early bday present*

4) Friendship - hrm... I won't say that this is a strong one for me as I do have a WONDERFUL (and slightly insane) group of friends... but sometimes you just need that quiet soul to whisper to...

I could make this list go on and on... so to sum up, Yes, I think they DO compensate for something we feel lacking IRL.... and thats not always a bad thing.

 

In a way they probably do compensate for something I do not have. I am an hour glass figure and very top heavy. Every time I go shopping I have to get bigger sizes to fit my chest and that can make me look bulky. Dolls can have any outfit you want if it is sized to fit their body. If it is not sized to fit their body than you can swap that out. Dolls have a variety of clothing that I cannot wear in real life. For instance, I love lolita and school girl clothing. However, when I wear it, I look like I have a costume fetish and it's uncomfortable. When I dress my dolls in said clothing they look adorable and not trashy. I guess that could be part of what I am compensating for.

However, my dolls (like my other toys) tend to remain on my shelf because I need to have brightly colored things in my room because it calms me down and inspires me. Other than that I guess my dolls compensate for my lack of dolls.

 

Personally, no, I don't think my BJD compensates for something I'm lacking. I say "think" though, because I do feel hobbies, obsessions, even OCs, are a subconscious way for people to compensate for what they are missing.

I feel like it's a "no" for me because I was only a little interested in BJDs and I always disliked having too many possessions or objects of too much monetary value. That may have come from the fact that I grew up with whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.

I also say "think" for myself, because I did end up choosing a male BJD. The reason why I decided to get into this hobby in the first place is because my boyfriend and I were having a bit of trouble. Our personalities fit, but we were interested in completely opposite things. I am no nonsense, and very into art history, while my boyfriend is into technology, sci-fi, and video games, etc. I am also a bit anti-feminist and very traditional, so I've picked up things like cooking, sewing, make up, clothes/fashion, etc. Then my boyfriend mentioned that he always wanted to get into photography and was going to save up for a camera. Then it clicked. Not only would the doll allow me to make whatever clothes I liked for the doll ( normal or fantasy ), my boyfriend could always use the doll as a subject for when we don't always have nice places to photograph.

 

I don't think my dolls necessarily "compensate" for something I'm lacking... most of my characters actually embody certain traits of my own, so that I can explore those facets in more depth without actually having a crisis of self-identity. However, in addition to those implanted traits, many of my characters also embody certain traits which I desire, or which hold interest to me, but either aren't within my grasp, or aren't practical. I have no desire to BE a mythical creature, but I find the idea of a land of mythos fascinating, so I explore that through my faun. I have no real desire to BE the popular party-girl, but one of my characters is exactly that. I'll never discover the cure to a disease, or build a machine that solves household problems, but one of my characters is the epitome of a handy tinker and jack-of-all-trades. Am I missing out on anything that I seek to experience vicariously through my dolls? No. But it's fun to explore through them anyway.

 

My Hubby says that my doll obsession is because I was never given dolls when I was a kid. I always remember my friends having dolls and toys but we never got much of anything. I guess we all need something in our lives weather its to compensate for something or not. It gives us enjoyment,obviously other wise we wouldn't do it.

 

Yes, I do believe so. I don't really like how that sounds, but I believe we all compensate in some way. I've never been a very social individual, so I think that my dolls sometimes help me feel a little less alone on occasion without me being in the 'uncomfortable' situation of trying to make new friends. I may be able to talk and chat just fine on the internet (as everyone can observe here, LOL) but I really can't so much offline. Never been very good at it.

 

I don't think so. I have always had dolls, all different kinds. ABJDs are just another type of doll for me. (I have kids, pets, a partner, boxes of childhood dolls and other toys, and I have plenty of things to take pictures of or create stories around without specifically needing BJDs).

 

For me, they are beautiful to look at, and they help me fulfill my costuming urges on something smaller than myself. Costuming a doll in expensive fabric is still much cheaper than doing the same for a person. Also, it gives me the chance to do male costuming, or to have a cosplay partner for specific events, even when I can't rope friends into them.

 

Yeah, they compensate for the lack of beautiful real men for me to stare at in person. I know that sounds shallow, but these dolls (to me) are so much better looking than real men. I'm not the sort of person to ever want a boyfriend and I don't use my dolls as imaginary boyfriends, but looking at an attractive man is something that I wouldn't be able to do very often without these dolls around. Just to clarify, I don't think all real men are unattractive, but in order for me to find a guy attractive, he would need to be both physically and mentally attractive and well dressed, which is a rare combination. As for my future girl dolls, I'll enjoy dressing them in clothing that I couldn't wear myself in public without getting stared at.

 

At first I was afraid to read this topic but having read the question (and not the replies from others) I'll give my own answer.

• Do you feel that you 'and/or' others around you are using ABJD's to compensate for something you lack in your life?

No. I am actually really surprised at how many negative comments are made about adults who collect dolls. I sort of live in my own bubble and didn't realize it was considered "weird" until I started to collect my own. I find it extremely offensive that there are people out there who think a grown woman who has dolls is compensating for not having children or something. Not that this is what the OP was saying but rather just something I noticed and had no idea was what people said.

And I admit, those reborn baby dolls creep me out a lot but I don't think anything of the owners. And so here is where I get annoyed. Why is it ok for adults to play video games but it's not ok to collect dolls? I feel sorry for adults who've abandoned play altogether. I'm not ashamed. I don't take my dolls and walk them around and make them talk like I did when I was a kid but I dress them up, I brush their hair, I take their photos. I enjoy it, it makes me happy and it isn't causing anyone harm.

That was just my little pet peeve about non-doll people reactions. As far as my life lacking things, I'm not going to deny there are things it lacks but the dolls certainly aren't filling that void. I wish they would! That would be great!

But ultimately even if the dolls were filling a void, is that actually wrong or bad? I don't think so. I think that if you are not experiencing life at all and just sit in your house 24/7 talking to dolls then maybe yes there's a problem but if doll collecting or any hobby fills a void and makes you feel better then do it! Don't let it be all you do but don't stop enjoying it either.

I had a friend say something really offensive to me recently. I, unfortunately, responded in a way that was less than mature which resulted in a bit of unpleasantness between this friend, his wife (also a good friend) and myself. One of the things I said to her as we were hashing it out was, "This is something that makes me happy. I haven't been very happy lately for various reasons. I really don't want to have that joy taken away from me." I'm not sure she really heard what I was saying (and though our friendship is fine I'm not sure my friendship with her husband is even though he was the one who offended first - lesson here is, be mature and don't "hit back" verbally). All in all, it made me very sad but I have a few hobbies that I enjoy and I think that it's important to find joy and hang onto it.

If anything they may be compensating for a lack of joy but I don't think that's really true because I've been a doll lover my whole life as well as a collector of things so I slipped quite naturally into doll collecting.

I hope that made sense. I think I rambled a bit.

 

Firstly I just want to clarify that this is just for me, and I don't think about other collectors this way or assume that my case is the same for them.

For me, playing with dolls definitely fills a void.

First off, a lot of the way I live my life now is me trying to create a second childhood for myself. My dolls and my other toys and child-like interests/activities/hobbies are an escape from reality and this happy second childhood is something I didn't have the first time around.

I also see the dolls as so fun to dress and so beautiful because I don't have any self-esteem at all. I'm very self conscious, and there are a lot of things I wish I could wear that I can't, but the dolls can. Not to mention, they can be whoever I want them to be. They can throw on a pink wig and a punk outfit on a whim. They can be blonde with blue eyes one day, brunette with green eyes the next, anything. Most of my dolls (and dolls on the way) are children, so again, I can spoil them and they can be happy little girls like I wasn't as a real child.

Dolls also do fill a social void for me. I don't really have a lot of friends, and certainly no one that I really get to be *me* around, or at least not this side of me that likes Lolita and cute things and dolls. I think I have more fun playing with dolls than hanging out with real people sometimes. And finding friends who also like dolls has been so wonderful for many reasons for me. Even though I just met my doll friends last week and have only gone to one meet-up, and even though they live three hours away.. it means a lot to me to have doll friends for the first time ever. The fact that I was even able to go to a totally strange situation for me (my first meet-up) despite normally being so shy and socially anxious and stuff.. was a really big deal. And I think that situation and dolls in general help with my depression and anxiety.

They also give me a purpose and something to strive for creatively. I am very interested in learning how to customize them (mostly by doing face-ups I mean) and make clothes and other accessories for them. Back to the issue with depression, they give me something to be happy about and something to distract myself with.

And maybe they also sort of fill a maternal instinct void.. but I dunno, that's a little too personal.

But anyway, that's just me...

 

They don't really compensate anything about me personally. I think I am a healthy, happy (most of the time) person and I see my friends and family on weekends.

Up until 2 months ago, I worked at home (self employed) and it gets lonely staring into a computer by yourself the whole day. I contemplated getting a dog (a lil chihuahua!) to keep me company during the day, but I am too busy to properly care for an animal. Somehow, I got sucked into the world of BJDs and I ordered one last year.

I was soooo happy when he arrived. This may sound weird, but he keeps me company when I'm working on my computer. It was even better when my latiwhite girly came. They're super cute! and they don't require much attention (unless I want to give them attention). Sometimes I pet them on the head or pose them around my mouse or sit them on chairs in front of their own computer. They're like my coworkers without the drama lol.

I've since gotten a part time job and that really got rid of the lonely work-week feeling, but I still really enjoy my little buddies by my side when I'm working on projects at home. They just make me happy!

On a side note: I did the math and so far, I am probably spending more on these dolls than what I would on a dog. Ha!

 

• Do you feel that you 'and/or' others around you are using ABJD's to compensate for something you lack in your life?
Yes and no. ^__^;;

I actually gave my dolls a history, which is something I didn't think I'd do. They do compensate for something I lack, which is the ability to be free spirits in my world of weary obligations.

 

I never really think about it before, until the past week that I feel needed of cute SD girl, because I want to be cute like that. Another example is Me and My best friend having same type of dolls, and We set them as a twins. My friend is kind of tomboyish person and her doll having very sweet and lady like personality. My doll is like very confident and super happy all the time (which I'm not lol). So I believe they compensate something for me.

 

Whoa! Are you.. me? I was gonna post something in my own words, but your post pretty much takes the words right out of my mouth.