Do you feel that ABJD's compensate for something you don't have IRL?

Do you feel that ABJD's compensate for something you don't have IRL?

It is interesting to see the different reactions to this topic.

I get the question all the time "why are you sculpting miniature food?" I usually answer with something like "why do I prefer chocolate over candy?". I just like to sculpt in miniature, and I just like dolls and toys. No particular reason behind it.
So I'd say the same here

I could start analyzing why the heck I'm driven to dolls or minifood, but clearly that would be trying to seek explanations where there are none to find.
Besides hobbies do fill a void. Otherwise you wouldn't have hobbies but do... nothing?
You can't work all the time, so you choose to make something with your time, some get drunk, some watch TV, play video games, some collect dolls. As long as you don't kill your neighbor, I guess it's fine ^^

It's nice to know why you do something, but overthinking it is rarely a good idea (unless you talk to your dolls and don't go out anymore) because you're trying to see what the problem is in collecting dolls and why you're not like your neighbor. Heck! You should be happy to be different

 

Well, I've always been a collector, so I didn't give much thought to why I'd taken such a liking to BJDs at first. I know that I am not an artist by miles, so admittedly this was a really nice, visual way of bringing my characters to life.

I don't really "play" with them so much as assemble the character and then put it on display. From time to time I'll take some pictures or change up the look, but by and large I just...collect! (Does that make me a bad owner?)

I really enjoy meet-ups however, and I think that's where more of the psychology comes into it. I have an anxiety disorder that makes socializing challenging for me. (Something I've noticed is sadly common among collectors.) So having a social gathering where a common interest is guaranteed is a big plus. It's safe, going to a place where everyone else already gets it and won't question/criticize your interest or the money you spend.

I actually quite love the community of the hobby in general, meet-ups or online or what have you. It warms my heart to see the enjoyment other people get, and in this life you have to take all of the happiness you can find!

Apologies if my being too lazy to read every post has resulted in repeating a lot of points, but there you go. My two cents.

 

Yes and no.

I role play my dolls, so in that way, yes. They can have the life that I can only dream about. But at the same time, I don't role play them because I hate my life. I have a good life. I just can't have 13 different lives. Its a fun fantasy for me and helps me bond to my dolls.

Also, role playing works as free therapy for me. LOL No, not that I'm psychologically depending on it for sanity, but after a really bad day, its nice to escape for a bit into a happier place. Similar to reading a good book or watching a favorite movie to forget about your stress for awhile, except its interactive.

Also, the dolls give me a chance to take out my motherly instincts on something. I have absolutely no desire or patience to have children. I have no pets. I can't even keep plants living. Living things require too much attention and time for me. But I do sometimes feel the need to nurture or care for something and BJDs are a great outlet for that. I can be affectionate and loving with them, and when I'm busy or lazy or randomly decide to go on a weekend getaway, I don't have to worry that something needs to be fed or changed or let outside.

 

The main attraction for me is the 'collecting', and buying a new doll and then buying new clothes for her and photographing her gives me something to look forward to and think about, so I'm not thinking about the stresses of work, etc. I am not an overly-social person and prefer the company of my hubby and my immediate family rather than friends, and I often think that for me collecting dolls fills the 'me time' that I have and gives me something to focus my energy and enthusiasm on. I don't feel that this is 'compensating' for something that I lack IRL though - I accept that I am a very private and reserved type of person who likes spending time in her own company!!

 

People.

I got into the hobby for fun, but I have severe anxiety problems and trust problems. My psychiatrist says even without realizing it, I have dolls because they're safe. People leave, and hurt, and don't make sense. Dolls are safe. I still only do it for fun, but I'm aware of this as well! It's an interesting thought.

 

Yes, my dolls make me feel happy, optimistic, creative and I suppose more beautiful in myself too....
I do find them a really enjoyable way to escape sometimes more mundane aspects of life and (unlike real life) it's something I can create, imagine, design and ..direct...completely.....without compromise from outside/others' negative or opposing input/redirection etc.....
This leads me on to a more sombre aspect of doll collecting I find very comforting personally....
I am very new to BJDs, but my feelings about them is the same as artist dolls I've been collecting for years:
I won't go in to detail, but my childhood was not a great one. It involved a lot of abuse and neglect.
My youngest child (now 4) was born with unexpected disabilities and I went through a long time feeling I had a 'broken baby'....(for want of a better description)....and her fate and my hopes for her future health were completely out of my control. It's not a great feeling to fear your tiny beautiful baby mgiht die at any point...!
My dolls fill a hole in my life as best as anything can. It's not perfect, but it does really help....I'm probably portraying myself as a total self-pitying weirdo, but that's fine.
I can apply my escapism, imagination & creativity in to projects for my dolls and to me they are perfect...the way I can never be.
I do also think that the BJDs of the opposite sex (as well as beautiful ones of the same sex whom to me represent the mega popular types in school etc) also represent an aspect of non-judgemental/no rejection interaction I don't have the courage to live out in real life....even just down to deciding what they wear, how they look etc...Always having the last say...I LOVE my dolls....

 

they have beautiful face, body therefore they are here to be pretty and wear all the awesome clothes I wish I could wear but can't because they don't fit me well or hurt me (heel shoes. I have very bad knee problems. but I love high heels so much ;___; )
they can have crazy hair colors and piercings which I can't because color seriously don't hold to my hair and my parents won't let me have piercings. they would most likely get infected anyway. I can't even wear earrings.

 

I remember a couple of years ago when I was researching dolls, I was casually describing to a friend of mine what I might want the doll to look like. She laughingly said the description was basically a doll version of myself. I felt extremely foolish because I hadn't even realized it, but she was right. I don't mean to sound vain, and I'm certainly not perfect, but what I realized it meant was that I more or less manage to embody the kind of traits I value aesthetically, or, fortunately I guess, the sort of traits I have are the ones I've come to value. But far from being glad I felt very uncreative to think that I couldn't imagine a more exciting or interesting doll than one that was just some idealized version of the look I'm going for.

So in wanting to buy a doll I can't say I'm trying to compensate in that area, but there is another side to it. Since my real hobby is sewing, I want a doll to make the sorts of costumes I can't justify for myself because of the cost of materials or a lack of a place or occasion at which to wear them, or the kinds of things I wouldn't be caught dead wearing but would be fun to make, or the bizarre experimental stuff I wouldn't dare make at full scale because its potential utter failure would mean a lot more money and materials down the drain than it would at doll scale. So if anything, for me a doll means entree to the fantasy sewing projects I can't or can't yet do for myself, and a "test kitchen" of ideas, as it were.

 

Reading through all this made me wonder why I caved and finally bought my own dolls, and whether or not they compensate for something I'm lacking IRL.

I believe I'm pretty happy and well-adjusted now that I've moved away from unsavory relationships and have gained a lot more self-esteem. I wasn't in a good place several years ago. Part of me always wanted to collect dolls but never had the... courage? I guess? I was always the tomboy on the playground who played soccer and tetherball and chased the boys (and could catch them for a while!). They came to me if they needed video game help because I had Nintendo magazine and was the only girl in class who did. I suppose for a long time, I identified myself as "one of the boys" despite my interest in girly things.

Dolls, to me, represent something other than myself that I can dress and customize... Being a painter, I've always wanted to work on a miniature scale of some kind. But they also can wear things I'm not brave enough to wear. XD I don't like my legs no matter how much working out I do, and I'm not brave enough to wear lolita in public despite wanting to really badly. >_>; So in essence, they do compensate for something I lack - a small model to play with, someone to dress that won't be looked at oddly... my own little fashionistas!

 

I liked the question and to answer it: No. I liked bjd because they are ART .. to me they are a prove of something I wish I can do. I am a polymer clay artist and my dream was always to make a doll. I make jewelry that I am proud to see on people around and it is something I enjoy very much, but I always wished I will be able to make real faces, in better words : (to give the piece of clay more life). It is a bless (?) to be able to master such a skill.

Other than that, I enjoy looking at them, they are a treat to my eyes . I don't tend to carry them or hold them or take them everywhere .. They stay in their closet, but every now and then, I will take them out, admire their creation and enjoy the beauty of dressing them up and taking photos of them.
Though may be when I do so, I return to my inner child and communicate with it =).. What is better than a world of imagination ! We as grown up tend to be serious and worried about everything in our life, so I think we deserve few play moments where we forget ourselves, our age and enjoy a peaceful time .. it is to me like going to a wonderland, and riding that roller coaster again !

 

It's just a crafty hobby to me.
If i didn't have Dollfie I would still be making dresses , posting patterns , taking photos... it would just be with different stuff.

 

... It's both yes and no for me, to be honest.

I like BJDs because of how beautiful they are and how so much dedication takes place in a single doll. They're just simply artwork and I love how so many people are into this hobby. Once you find and buy a doll you can call your own, that's where the magic really begins. Whether you buy them in parts, a blank body, or a fullset, they can still have their own unique story and personality to them that sets them apart from other dolls. In a way, BJDs compensate for my lack of multiple things- my rather brief childhood, my lack of beautiful skin, etc. I'm not happy with the way I look, I'm not happy with life... but that may just be hormones talking :P

All in all, maybe I like BJDs because they have something I don't- new beginnings. However, no matter how beautiful a BJD may be, at the end of the day, I still have to remember that they are dolls. ♥

 

yes! haha I am a frustrated fashion designer and photographer. I don't have real models to carry my fashion designs or do photoshoots.. Although I usually ask my cousins to be my models (oh im lucky to have cousins who love to do photoshoots) but they are not always there. My dolls are my instant model. It's easier to make dresses for them ( I haven't done any clothes for real people yet) and I can have photo shoot with them anytime anywhere =D

 

I do not have the body for the cosplays I would love to do. My doll, when I order her, likely does. I can honestly say that yes, I probably will be living through my doll in that way. I got into BJDs because they were gorgeous and because, at a con I went to, someone let me hold their gorgeous doll that was cosplaying L from death note and my mind shattered with glee. My doll, when she arrives, will probably dress in gorgeous dresses I would never dream of touching, in skin flashing cosplays I couldn't never fit, and whatever else I can make for her that isn't terrible because I can't afford to make my OWN clothes. And I'll still cosplay while holding her, just in different things, and I'll still be really happy.

 

I'm an artist and an engineer. I've been designing my own clothes, furniture, and random gagets for most of my life, and the doll hobby for me seems like a miniaturized extension of what I normally do. Reading through the comments left by others, I do agree that in some ways the dolls do represent something that is "safer" and "nonjudgemental" because when I make things "for the dolls" I can enjoy making things for the sake of making them, without any deadlines, constraints, or complaints. It also gives me an excuse to make things that I would not be able to make at full scale due to size, time constraints, or expense. I suppose in that sense the doll hobby is compensating because it gives me a means of satisfying some of my creative urges on a more reasonable scale. It also makes me feel better about how much money I spend on the dolls knowing that if I were to do full size versions of some of these projects it would be even more expensive than the dolls are.

 

The dolls that I have don't necessarily represent me, but they are just certain characters that I wish I had encountered before, or already have encountered. which left me with a bad impression or impressions that I wishes to see in certain people. But the relationships among the dolls are relationship that I upon myself had experienced or wishes could have experience of.

 

our dolls are just the perfect models.

 

I don't think my dolls in and of themselves compensate for something I'm missing, but the hobby does. Making clothes to sell lets me have a "job" doing something fun, creative and artistic whilst in reality I am struggling to stay at the top of the heap at an intense and demanding retail sales career and pursue a graduate degree at the same time. I can't be a fashion designer or seamstress full-time irl, but I can do comparable "professional" work on a much smaller scale working with my dolls.

It also lets me be part of a global community of other people who are the same kind of different as me--at least in respect to our dolls. At work and even at school, I have very few people I have anything in common with. My interests and just the way I relate to people often make me feel like I belong to another planet, or another century, or both. But with my dolls around, I can log onto DoA and find a whole world of accepting people and kindred spirits, who offer me encouragement in the day-to-day stuff as well as in saving for my next dollie.

That's not to say I don't wish I had Ave's confidence and composure or the world she and Sasha belong to as a whole, with the mere possibility of good old-fashioned adventure it has. But I wish I had a lot of things. Creating their stories has always been about storytelling, not me trying to live through them in any sense. When I want to be somebody else, I go find an rpg.

 

I bought my doll mostly for artistic purposes... they have such nice figures and faces, and they're much easier to work with than actual humans.

That said, once I got it, I did realize that I just liked being in control of something. Since I can't really control my life (minors don't get much say in anything...) it's nice that I can decide everything about hers. I guess it satisfies my god-complex, because for her, I'm the only one that matters.
Crazy talk...

 

I feel that my doll makes up for my lack of beauty and feminine charm...I'm also obese and a doll could fit into stylish clothing while I cannot.

hmmm...I'm also a failure at life, my new doll and doll related hobby became something to be proud of, even if it is a secret to my family.