Do you feel that ABJD's compensate for something you don't have IRL?

Yes, I think..
My collecting dolls seems to be compensating for my lack of 'socially normal' interaction with humans irl. I think having dolls eliminates the thought of judgement and exile that comes with humans.. Since I was little (say 3/4?), other kids didn't really accept me, and that still goes on now (but I've learnt how to handle it ^^) and I even hesitate when posting here, because of that little fear of rejection. :P
All in all, yeah. Dolls aren't judgemental, and they can be whoever you want them to be, so they compensate for my lack of friends. >.>

 

Linthium D: I'm your friend missy :P
But I do agree with your who social interaction thing, I can relate to what your saying perfectly.

 

Do you feel that you 'and/or' others around you are using ABJD's to compensate for something you don't have IRL?

YES! For me, BJDs compensate the lack of magic and beauty IRL. The world can be an ugly place. For example, since most people are really judgmental and society based, (not in terms of law and proper functions of society just meaning extremely wrongful behaviors that are uncalled for), that causes others to hide or just not want to express their uniqueness. Or if doing so, they have to deal with close-mindedness. Bjds on the other hand, allows more of that magic and beauty to come back! I love expressing myself,(with Asian Fashion and such), and bjds just takes this love to a higher level with some of the clothes they have for them! Also, bjds are really special to me and they just bring a heartfelt smile to my face when I see so many different lovely sculpts! One of the most beautiful/magical parts of being in the bjd hobby is when Sha and me can express ourselves together in public and at home. I really do love these wonderful creations of art and I am so happy they are IRL!

 

I don't compensate anything through my dolls. I'm quite content with my life as it is.

 

Yes I think they do compensate for something with me. I don't have many close friends (never really have) and recently I have even less friends. I have always been the kid that others make fun of or is told that my feelings are invalid by people I have considered friends or people in general. So that being said--My Stories has always been a comfort for me something that allows me to cope with things. So the dolls have become an extension of the characters and stories I already had. I find that they make the world a little less lonely and little less cruel.

On a happy note they also brighten up the world and are gorgeous with all the differing kinds too.

 

After reading this post I just had to respond. Yes, my BJD's compensate for the fact I was not able to have the 12 children I wanted as a young lass. Yea, I wanted to marry and have lots of children.... till I had my first child. I seemed to have stopped. So my family of BJD's compensate for the fact I didn't have all the children I wished for. Each of my dolls are special to me. They are my extended family.

 

I love this question. I've often wondered why I was so drawn to my own doll.

I love my doll because it is nostalgic for me. When I saw the doll (a PlanetDoll Mermaid Aqua Limited), I immediately thought of the classic fairytales I read as a child. The first one I thought of was the classic tale by Hans Christian Andersen, of course. There was something so beautiful, tragic, and poignant about the doll--she really looked like that mermaid from the fairytale.

I think it's filling a little void I have--I miss being a child. I was a very happy kid, and I'm not exactly a happy adult. I never played with toys as a child, so I don't think this doll would have meant anything to me had I seen it at the age of 10 rather than the age of 25. Well, I guess it would have been beautiful and cool to me, but then, ALL of the BJDs in the hobby would have appeared beautiful and cool to me. But this is only one of two dolls that has really struck me this way... and I've seen hundreds at this point.

Long story short, my doll takes me back in time and transports me to another world, and it makes me feel a little better.

 

I actually do think my dolls serve a purpose for me/fill a need I don't have in my real life.
I hope I can explain this clearly.

I wasn't really a huge doll fan after childhood and I didn't really start collecting dolls until I was in my thirties. But looking back, I see that the lure of dolls came back when my life was starting to unravel. Being with my dolls took me away from this world into a safer, more innocent place. I controlled what happened there -- and nothing bad ever did.

I don't think they became my surrogate children at that time -- though I don't have any children -- my pets seem to be my surrogate children. I think the dolls really let me be a child... but in a way I could control.

When my mom died unexpectedly, I let myself drift apart from the world alot. Stopped going out, stopped doing a lot of things. And my attraction to dolls got stronger. I bought more dolls, made clothes for them, posed them and took pictures of them and let them help me forget for awhile.

Then my marriage felt apart (my fault) and things began to change faster than I could cope with. I'm in a safe place now, but nothing feels like it did when I was married and my mom was alive. So I bought a doll house and more dolls. I guess for me, the dolls let me escape. They feel real to me... at least some of them do. They're something to love, something to nurture that can't leave or change. Something that's always where you left it, waiting.

Do I know I'm using them as a crutch? And maybe it's not the sanest thing to do? Yes and yes. But I don't care. Life is hard and painful and often disappointing. If my dolls make me happy, so what? I'm not hurting anyone and I'm better off than I'd be without them.

 

I agree completely!!

 

Yes, in a funny way.

I can't be as awesome as my dolls. They are avatars to internal feelings I have for myself and a number of other things I can not openly act on.

 

The fun thing about what we do - ANYTHING we do - it compensates/fills a need somehow in our lives. This is not a BAD thing, just a fact! So, what is always interesting is figuring out why we do things. (sorry, my dad & my sister-in-law are psychologists, what can I say?)
I know the biggest reason I've started seriously collecting dolls has to do w/my love of cosplay plus the fact that age gets in my way too much now - I can't cosplay half the characters I want to! And I get to combine a whole bunch of hobbies into several with them.
And I love beautiful things about as well.

 

I myself was a loner child I had no friends though most of my childhood and so I replaced friends I didn't have with toys they made me happy and I felt better. Now that I am older I am the same way with toys although I have a few close friends I feel lonely without my 'toys' I gobs of stuffed animals, action figures, dolls and I am just getting my BJD collection going I will soon be getting my 3rd doll

 

For me personally I think that dolls would compensate for things I don't have in real life. For example, I can't go around wearing little frilly clothes or beautiful tailored outfits but my doll sure could! I think they help make life a little more fun!

 

My dolls don't compensate for anything like "lack of friends," "bad at social interactions," "how i feel about my body" etc etc etc.

My dolls compensate for my career dream. I wanted to become a fashion designer. I love making, drawing/designing, and displaying clothes. I can usually predict what is going to be 'in' next season, and by george, I've been right for years.

However, both my parents and I don't think fashion design is practical for this economy and it would have been tough to 'make it big', and I love spanish a lot, so I'm going to become a spanish teacher instead. Which doesn't mean that I'm going to give up designing, I'll still make clothes for myself, but now I have so many ideas that I can barely afford to make them all. So I make mini versions for my doll. She's always fashionable, and I still get to be a fashion designer.

 

I like your sense of humor Silvertongue.

This is just one of those things that is going to vary widely from person to person. Everybody does this for a reason, and there are bound to be many different reasons among us. Sometimes the reason is just "dolls are cool, and I want some!" I have to admit that I enjoy playing with my BJDs so much because I have complete control over their "lives". (You know what I mean there. . .) I have always been prone to feeling helpless about the events in my real life, and so the dolls comfort me because I am happy that I can sit down and (much as children do) imagine that these little people are happy because I adopt them and bring them friends to hang out with and sew them nice clothes, and give them little props. . . I provide for my imaginary people and it gives me a sense of relief. It calms me just a little bit, and I enjoy having that mental place I can go where everything is peaceful.

But just because one person collects for a reason doesn't say anything about anyone else in the hobby. I think it is very fair for people to express displeasure with the need for "deeper meaning" behind a hobby such as this, because for many people there almost certainly isn't much of one at all. After all, a "hobby" is just something you enjoy as a break from everyday life. But for those who tend to find deeper meaning in all aspects of their lives -- they will eventually find one here too, and there's nothing wrong with that either.

 

Not really, but I have a boy doll because I always see clothes that I like, and would like to wear, but they only have that special look that I like so much when they are on a boy. But, I want to get a girl doll too, because I just really like pretty dolls...

I guess my feeling is that I have and want BJDs because I love clothes, and I love beautiful people/things.

 

Do I look to my dolls to [compensate] = substitute for some other thing I feel is missing in my life? I don't look to them to make me feel better about myself in the way some people have described. I don't see anything wrong with that.

Dolls aren't a substitute for something else that would be better if I could have that other thing. I love looking at the photography people post of their dolls on line. I can easily spend hours studying the images and details. The creativity fascinates me. Does this mean I am not living in the real world? Creativity is just as real and important as water and electricity, for me. I do have to take care of some of those basics so I can enjoy the dolls.

Balance is good, and the love I have for dolls provides a good source of balance for me. In that way they compensate for this:

I worked too hard in the past and it broke my health. I gained all the typical worldly goals, occupational honors, financial security, I designed and built my dream house. All of that was lost due to some medical problems. I won't be able to have children, and I am now "single again" because my husband took on a new girlfriend when I was told I was dying of cancer. [I am way past my "expiration date' = no cancer]

When I was driving myself to gain all that stuff is when my life was out of balance. Even all the pressure I felt to be at every church function and involved in "ministry". I love Jesus still and He is the most important thing to me. But all those expectations I had of myself were not coming from Him.

I NEEDED a Hobby. As silvertongue said: "They compensate for my lack of ball-joint dolls."

They do COMPENSATE me from driving myself too hard ~ seeking after unattainable perfection in things that are just dust ["real" things, even my body turns back to dust],,, or in my country, green paper. [money] Spending life striving for the real world goals is not all that REAL. From experience, it can all disappear in a flash.

I am responding to the parts of this thread that talk about "in the real world" -- What is real,,,I need good nutrition, rest, and relaxation AND for me personally, a creative outlet. The most important things would be off topic, as they involve my spiritual life and world view. But dolls are part of what keeps me healthy. So they are "in service" to all of my truest prioritites.

I would not spend the amount of time I do now on dolls if I had children. But, I can be all gloomy about that, or I can accept it and look at how great my half full glass is. Everybody's life is half full. Mom's could not spend the time I do on the things that are in my life.

 

the dolls never judge, really thats it
originally i thought they'd lead me to more social interaction like any hobby, and it did
but I think its more internal then that. I like having them around, mostly because they can't tell me to go away
I am truly awful at socializing and don't have any friends, as I get older it gets so much harder and very much a chore trying not to screw up at every turn. I don't want to get into anymore detail, don't like to tbh

 

I try to create characters for my future dolls that are very different from mine. I think if they compensate for anything it's my lack of life experience.

There are things in life that I will never experience and will likely never understand. I purposely create characters the experience things I have not, and by learning so that my doll's stories and characters can be more realistic, I myself gain a deeper understanding of life itself. Strange, I know, but I am fascinated by so much, and I want to understand, or begin to understand as much as I can.